I don't like to be sad. When I am sad, I usually cry. I am sad when I do things I am not
supposed to do and I get yelled at for it. I like to be happy. I am happy when I surprise people and make them happy. Happy is better then sad. Ashleigh
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I know this first-hand. I am generally pessimistic; so this quote jumped out at me. I am in general a happy person; I just have rather bitter opinions. I look at things without filters and without sugar-coating them; and my mind works the same way. When I speak, I try not to filter or cut back what I'm thinking. I don't quite agree with this quote because I see it as targeting pessimists, and people who choose to not always be happy.
This isn't true. Me and a lot of my friends are pessimistic and sour; but it doesn't prevent us from having positive lives. In fact; what brings negativity into our lives is who we associate with- and I don't mean our friends. I'm talking about toxic friendships and relationships that aren't loyal. There are some people who truly only have the purpose of dragging others down. Now; speaking of these burdens- I found a story on Facebook that I think suits this post. To finish it off, I'd like to share it with you. "A lecturer walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.” It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!" -author unknown Today I read a new book. My "a" Book, like Little J has a box. He fills his box with arrows,
ants, apples, an ax and an alligator. It was so full, that it spilled. An astronaut helped him to refill it. Then they took flight. Ashleigh Alice: "What road do I take?"
Cheshire Cat: "Where do you want to go?" Alice: "I don't much care where." Cheshire Cat" "Then it doesn't matter which way you go." I am of course paraphrasing a paragraph from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. It is a wonderful book that is silly, yet at the same time teaches life lessons. I had Maddie read it when she was younger. I was going to have her read it again and compare and contrast her thoughts on the story. But, alas, Maddie has started taking her high school classes through VLACs now, so I have less control about what she studies and writes about. While I believe I did a good job teaching my daughter (they jumped her up a grade when she joined the program. She was in 8th grade, but they allowed her to take classes as a freshman in high school), her new program allows her to take college courses that will count as both high school and college credits. If all goes well, when she graduates high school, she will also receive an associates degree. I looked in to the program, and nearly 100 colleges across New England will accept the credits from her associates degree towards their 4-year degree program. As Maddie gets older, she is quickly reaching an age here she will have to start making decisions that can have an impact on her happiness both in the present and in the future. To do that, properly, she will need to know where she wants to go in life. Happiness is not a physical location. It is a set of choices you make. It is a goal. If you do not know what makes you happy, you will have a harder time achieving it since you will not know what path to follow to achieve happiness. When I was younger, I thought that partying and girls were my path to near-term happiness. At the same time, I was looking towards my future, and I thought that having a career where I made a lot of money would ensure my happiness when I got older. I chose finance, since I believed you could make a good living working within that industry, and because I wasn't really interested or cut out for a career in medicine, law, or computer science, the three other area where I thought there was money to be made. I wanted a career where I thought I could be happy doing it for the rest of my life. In hindsight, I was very naive. Out of all of the things that I thought, I was only correct in one area. I really do enjoy working in finance, and for a while there, I was making a lot of money. As for the rest of it, I stopped "partying about sixteen years ago. My wife died two years ago and, I suspect, given the rest of my life, a new girlfriend will be tough to find. Not that I don't think I can find someone to date. More that I have other things that are more important happening in my life, and that finding the right person to fit my ideals may be more trouble than it is worth. So, where do I want to go? At this point in my life, I want to make sure that both of my girls have a good start in life. I want both of my daughters to be able to defend themselves in almost any situation and I finally, I want my daughters to be happy and make better decisions than I did earlier in my life. Is there a way to reach where I want to go? I hope so. As for Maddie, keep thinking about your future, and what will make you happy. Don't just settle for whatever your friends think or are doing. Decide for yourself what YOU want...and then pursue it. Remember, money won't buy you happiness. But it does help to have it to make everything a little easier, You will find happiness from within. Find something you want to do, and then pursue it with a passion. You are a thinker... as I am as well. From one thinker to another, do not abandon one of your strengths because you don't know if you will find an answer that suits you. You will. You just may not have found it yet. . Today I read a new book called: My "j"Book. Jay has a yellow box, which he wants to fill
with things. Everything he puts in the box begins with J." He puts jays, jack rabbits and jack o' lanterns in the box. He drives a jeep and flies in a Jet. Finally he puts a jaguar in jail. I liked the book very much! Ashleigh "One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes..." Okay, this quote is usually a little longer, but this is the part of the quote I wanted to focus on. The quote is by Eleanor Roosevelt by the way. Regardless of what you think about her politics, you have to respect Eleanor Roosevelt. She was an independent woman long before it became popular. She had her own political beliefs and on occasion would oppose some of her husband's policies...even though he was president of the United States. Some of that may be due to the fact that her husband cheated on her and had a long-term affair with his secretary.
Just goes to show that having the title of President doesn't mean you have class, or that you are honest. I have always believed that if a man's wife can't trust him, than neither can anybody else! We wonder why our country is in trouble, yet we think nothing of electing liars and cheats to office. Roosevelt, Nixon, Clinton. Who next? Will Hillary Clinton be the next liar that we vote into office? She has a long record of being dishonest and a liar. In fact, in 2012 she lied about what happened in Benghazi to the press. One of her "secret" emails from that time period was to her daughter, where what she wrote privately was in direct contradiction to what she was saying publicly. I am a firm believer that what a person does is more important than what they say. There is an old saying "All hat, no cattle." In general it means that just because the man has an expensive hat, doesn't mean he has the assets that actually make him wealthy. We see similar things nowadays too. Think of people you know who have $50,000-$75,000 cars, yet live in hovels. Or the people who dress to the nines, but also have $30,000 in credit card debt. Both of these examples are what is wrong with parts of our society. People would rather be perceived as being rich, rather than actually doing what is necessary to actually become rich. Talk is cheap folks...and so are consumer goods. If you spend all of your money on consumer goods, then you will never truly become wealthy. People think that their expensive hand bag fools people, but it really doesn't. I can't count the number of times I have seen a woman with an expensive hand bag standing in line for groceries and then paying with a food stamps card. Or how many times I have driven by a hovel only to see a new, expensive pick up truck sitting in the driveway. I have gotten a little off track here with this post, but I think you can see where I was headed. Phonies like to talk...and to hide their true selves behind their possessions. Your actions, folks, tell more about you than what you say. Your actions towards yourself and others tells everyone exactly what they need to know about you. And yet, people are fooled by others all the time. Be more observant people, and see yourselves and others for what they truly are. Think how you want to be perceived, and more importantly, by who. Choose who you are and how you want to be perceived...and then don't settle for the phony and shallow. Choose to be deep, and let your actions anchor that choice. This is another quote that I both agree with; yet still disagree with. Obviously, we all lie in our lives. Does this mean that we should not be trusted for the rest of our lives? I don't think so. I think that this quote was trying to sound intelligent but missed the marker by not phrasing it correctly. I think that trust should be based not off of lies... but of what the lies were about. As I see it, there are many degrees of lying.
Bottom line- lying is never right; no matter what form of lie it is. I myself believe that how much you trust someone should be gauged on the level of the lie they told- if it was a white lie; you probably don't have anything to worry about. Anything more... be wary. Never let anyone play you for a fool and lie to you when you KNOW it's a lie. Speak up. ~Maddie This quote is so true.
Through my life, I've had friends come and go. I'd like to share a story with you. It's about what happened to my best friend and I; and while I may have told it before... I'd like to touch on it once again. I have known this girl for four years. She has been like a sister to me, supporting me through everything and always standing by my side. She picks me up when I'm down and is my light in darkness. My eyes when I can't see and ears when I can't hear. In any case, awhile ago we had a lull of four months where we weren't talking; due to her boyfriend of the time. This guy had seemed to be good for her when they first started going out. I had even been pretty close friends with him prior to the drama that happened. Then, he got jealous of our close friendship and started feeding her a lot of lies about me, labeling me as controlling and a liar. In all honesty; when she asked for opinions on him- I told her the truth. I told her I could see it ending and that he was manipulating her and making her lose friends- which he was. Give it a month, and he made it so she couldn't talk to me- or anyone but him. It was horrible. Our friendship was a wreck for those few months and it was quite a dark period for me. I got depressed and ended up making a friend who didn't have any of my best interests in mind. Fortunately, they broke up and we made up... she said I had been right and that their relationship had fell apart quickly because she had no one to turn to besides him. In the end, all the turmoil made our friendship stronger- and I can't be any more thankful for that. We're back to being best friends and are inseparable. We now live by the "sisters before misters" rule- if a guy has a problem with one of us, he can either not associate with them and deal with us being friends or LEAVE. Relationships shouldn't be controlling. They should be caring and understanding... and that is the bottom line. ~Maddie It never ceases to amaze me how much goes on in the world, that the average American is unaware of. This is not a rant against Americans by the way. This situation likely holds true for people everywhere. Earlier today, I was talking with my daughter and I asked her if she was aware what was going on in Europe? She quickly said no, and I started to explain to her about the refugees flooding Europe from the wars in the Middle East and how European economies were under great strain due to their generous social programs that were quickly bankrupting the governments on the continent, As I watched her eyes glaze over, I realized that I would likely get that look from about 95% of the population.
Oddly enough, as the world has grown smaller due to technology, people seem less and less likely to know what is going on in the world. Funny, but people can tell you all about silly videos they see on Facebook, or even what a friend of a friend of a friend is doing, but that can't tell you what is going on with the euro, that the banks had been closed in Greece or that there were/are refugees flooding Europe, and that some of them were likely ISIS plants. These same people have no clue what is going on in either local or national politics, but they can tell you exactly who they are going to vote for. Oddly enough, I don't remember being like that when I was a kid. I read the newspaper and I had a basic idea about what was going on in the world. Not only that, but I had a general idea of where countries were located, and I didn't need a map to get around my own section of the county. It seems that while technology is convenient, the sheeple use it more for entertainment than for education. I look at the internet as if it is a gigantic online library. Most people use it to send texts and to help them find their way around their own town! The final part of my rant is the way that people communicate nowadays. In a way it is both better and worse than it was in the old days. My daughter talks to lots of people over Facebook and in some cases, have them met those people at school events or through other friends. That part is great. What is really weird, is when she actually meets the people face to face. The other day, I drove her to McDonalds to meet a girl she had met once before at a school function. I grabbed a coffee and some chicken nuggets and sat with them for a couple of minutes while I ate. "The girl actually sat down looked at Maddie and said, I'm sorry I am awkward at this, Maddie smiled and said me too! And then they went on to have an animated conversation. When I left, they were chatting like two school girls...which they were! I find it amazing that these girls can have great conversations on the internet, where they are essentially anonymous (meaning they can give whatever info they want and hold back the rest), and then when they meet in person, feel a little bit awkward about it! And then get over it so quickly! We never had anything like that when I was a kid. It seems weird to me, but this is how they are growing up. I guess the only thing that really bothers me about these online conversations are all the acronyms the kids use when they talk to each other. Almost like they are too lazy to spell properly. Maddie uses them when she texts to me sometimes and I have no clue what she is talking about usually until I ask her to translate it. This seems to be the new way of the world, though. Get used to it, or get passed by. "Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end." That is a quote by Leonard Nimoy...better known as Mr. Spock! It's great that Nimoy's quote is focused on logic. His portrayal of Spock type cast him as an intelligent person in nearly every other role he played since that time. Whether he was a good guy, or a villain, his characters were always intelligent. One of my favorite non "Star Trek" roles that Nimoy played was as the narrator of the show "In Search Of". In Search Of was a show that focused on the bizarre and unexplained. Nimoy's voice lent a voice of reason to topics that seemed too bizarre to be real. Leonard Nimoy died in February this year, at the age of 83. Although Spock will live on in the hearts and minds of his fans, "Live long and prosper" will never seem to be as meaningful a thing to say now that Nimoy has passed. Rest in peace Leonard, your character portrayal of Spock was likely the introduction to logic for many kids growing up in the sixties and seventies. I know that Spock was a positive role model for many of us.
To get back to the quote, Logic is the beginning of wisdom, because it is a system of reasoning applicable to any branch of study. That's right, logic is a system of thinking. Without it, or something very similar, you can't have wisdom, which is basically understanding or enlightenment. Remember, animals can learn things, but no one truly believes they have wisdom. If you put your hand on a hot stove and get burned, you learn not to do that. If you see an egg cook on a hot stove and then infer that you should not put your hand on it, then you have gained wisdom. Although the difference may seem minor to some, it makes a huge difference to the person who got burned! To me, logic is a tool that allows me to break things down to their barest essence. It is a way of thinking that discards that, which is obviously false and then allows you to look at the remaining possibilities and choose the one that has the highest probability of working. The system then morphs into a series of trials and errors until the correct answer is found or "wisdom" is achieved. I like to teach my daughters to use logic to sway my opinion on matters that concern them. Since Madison has been very young, I have told her that if she can give me a logical reason why I should do something her way versus mine, I would allow her to do the thing her way. In other words, I try to reward her for using logic to sway my opinion rather than just a pure emotional appeal. Sometimes, her case is very logical, and I allow her to change my opinion..even though I sometimes don't agree with what she wants to do. Oftentimes, she cannot find a logical reason to do something her way and then she has to do it my way. I try to lead by example. I can't tell her to use logic to find answers to her problems, if I do not allow a logical argument to sway me away from what I want to do. If my way is also logical, then I try to give sway to the idea that is most logical. If the two ideas are equally logical, than I will usually stay with mine since her argument did not convince me that her way was better. I have yet to start this kind of training with Ashleigh. Once Ashleigh can read a bit better than she can now, I will slowly start to introduce this type of thinking to her. Finally, I believe schools should be designed to teach children how to think. Not just to teach them answers that they do not have to arrive at on their own. I would rather hire a person that knows how to think, than a person who is only book smart. A lack of common sense serves no one. If you are a parent, teach your children how to think for themselves. It is the greatest thing you can do for them as a parent in my opinion. A piece of me wants to agree with this quote, but at the same time, it is many levels of wrong. I am a firm believer in saying what's on your mind and saying what you feel; because you should be able to openly express yourself. However, in doing this there comes a time where a line must be drawn in order to prevent other feelings from getting hurt. There are times to speak your mind and let feelings out... and times to stay silent and keep your opinions to yourself.
I have learned this the hard way, unfortunately. Too often, I speak without thinking, and because of this, I have hurt feelings of friends and family alike. It sucks. I can apologize all I want; but the sting and hurt will always remain, and nothing can truly change that. "Words are tidal waves, and we too often splash them about like puddles." In painful situations, it is best to just stay silent and not share opinions... a good rule is to not reply to people when you are angry. So in the end, what is my opinion of the quote? I don't agree with it. Sometimes speaking your mind can hurt... and then you SHOULD say sorry. Don't speak without thinking. ~Maddie My father is a great Dad. I call him Daddy. Daddy likes to play with me a lot! We also watch lots of movies together. Each morning, I give him a big hug! I love Daddy very much! We sing lots of
songs together too! Ashleigh "When we talk to God, we are praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic." Don't worry this won't be an overly religious post. That quote, by Jane Wagner, was said tongue in cheek to get a laugh. But of course, I am going to ask my usual question: But is it true? My answer to that is that it could be true. It might be true for some people...or it might be false. And nowadays, with the government, or anyone else with access to microwave technology able to beam voices into your head, we will never actually know now will we?
Allan Frey was the first to publish a paper about the microwave auditory effect, and that's why it is also known as the Frey effect. I touched briefly about this in a blog post a couple of weeks ago. Frey wrote about the effect in 1961. By the early 1970's, the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research was already beaming voices into people's heads at a distance of 100 meters. In 2003, Waveband Corp. had a contract with the U.S. Navy for a system called MEDUSA (Mob Excess Deterrent Using Silent Audio) intended to remotely, temporarily incapacitate personnel. The project was supposedly cancelled in 2005. Now let me ask you a question. If the U.S. government has been experimenting with this stuff since the early 1960's, do you really think they cancelled it in 2005? More likely, the program was changed to a different name and is being studied more discreetly. Believe me, if something has the potential to be weaponized, our government wants it! Not just to use it versus their perceived enemies... which may include you, but also so that they are up to date with all of the research so that they can block the technology from being used against them. With that said, think of the havoc that would ensue if large numbers of people believed that they were having conversations with their God. Many, not knowing of the Frey effect, would listen to the voices without question. If enough people fell for it, All of the people of the world could become slaves to the perpetrators of the hoax. Think about it, who wouldn't do what their God told them to do...particularly if most of the people around them also heard the voice in their head too! Thankfully, the amount of energy necessary to reach hundreds of people at once would be too high, and many of the people would be in danger. If it wasn't for that, though, I honestly believe someone would have tried this scheme already. Still, the potential for damage could be staggering. Think about it, Some people would likely very willingly become God's assassin. And not just Muslims either! Voices in your head would likely go a long way towards convincing a person to do heinous crimes...particularly if they thought it was their God speaking to them. As for me, knowing about the Frey effect, I would never listen to a voice in my head that told me to do something violent to another. Any voices in my head will be blatantly ignored (to the best of my ability anyway). It is a sad world we live in when you can't trust your government, many of the people around you, the media or even the voices in your head! All said, don't just follow the crowd blindly. A lot of what they are told to do doesn't makes sense. Don't listen to voices in your head...particularly if it is telling you to do something self destructive or violent. And finally, take everything that the big media companies or the government tells you to do with a grain of salt. I sometimes have difficulties deciding what I should write about (such as right now). I wrack my brain and think of many things; but none are ideas I can follow through with. I know I can write about essentially anything since that's the point of this blog- but most of my ideas are either too controversial or just aren't fully-formed and thought out. I should also state that in knowing I can write about absolutely anything... it can be infuriating.
When you have a good idea and want to run with it but can't- nothing is worse. In a way, I think freedom is its own vice. At least for writing it is. You overthink; or on the contrary underthink. You let ideas run wild and plant themselves everywhere in your mind, like birds scattering seeds in the spring. In a way; it's good- new ideas will form and slowly grow in your subconscious until the day they are full and ready to be written about. On the other hand, it can get to be quite cluttered. The ideas will sometimes lunge forth before they are ready; and that creates even MORE half-ideas to be messed around in your head. How the brain works is fascinating; yet confusing. I don't even know. Where did this blog post get off anyway? I started by saying that I had trouble writing; and look what happened. 4-5 half-ideas came forward and now I have this mess. Oh well. It'll have to do. It's late and I'm tired; if you can't tell from how I'm writing. Good night (or good morning) internet. ~Maddie Maddie is a nice girl. She has beautiful red hair. She holds my hand nicely. Maddie doesn't
play Monster High with me anymore. I like to go for walks with her. I love Maddie. She is my sister and we have fun together. Ashleigh "There's is no reality except the one contained within us. That's why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality, and never allow the world within them to assert itself." That;s a quote by Hermann Hesse. Nowadays, many people mistakenly assume Hesse was a Nazi. Not so. Hesse was a writer active during the early years of the twentieth century. While he was alive during World War II, he was not a fan of the Nazis. That would be evident to anyone who has read any of his works. There is the rub. I doubt any of you have read any of his work. In fact, I would imagine that maybe one out of every one hundred thousand people have read any of his stuff nowadays (and yes, I have read some of his work). And THAT brings me back to his quote.
Hesse was socially awkward in his younger years, and likely throughout his life. He was very bookish and wrote to express his thoughts. His first published works were not very successful, yet he persevered. Eventually, he won a noble prize for his writing. The book I read by Hesse was "Steppenwolf". To me, "Steppenwolf" was about Hermann Hesse's reality. The book was his way of expressing how he saw the world. The main character in the book (Harry Haller) has the same initials as Hesse, and his bouts with depression fit Hesse to a "T"! Moreover, in a part of the book where Harry is walking around town, afraid to go home because it is there where he figures he will commit suicide, Harry meets a dancer who gives him a reason to live. Oddly enough, Hesse wrote this book soon after he had met and married a singer. The dancer's name was Hermine. (I wonder if "Steppenwolf" is where J.K Rowling got her inspiration for her character with the same name?) Hermine teaches Harry that dancing, drinking, drug use and girlfriends are okay, and that they are part of living a "true" life. Give me a little leeway here folks on the story...I read it about twenty years ago and I am writing by memory right now. I may have spelled their names wrong, and I may have a few of the facts out of order, but I still think I am getting the gist of the story correct. (I will have to go back and reread it now to see how well I did!) Anyway, eventually Hermine introduces Harry to a musician named Pablo, who seems to be a psychedelic Buddha of the twenties. He brings Harry to his mythical Magic Theatre, where Harry meets the fantasies from his mind. So was THAT Hesse's reality? In part. In the book Hermine is killed off, and I do not remember reading about any homicides in Hesse's history. To me, Hermine might have just been a convenient way for Hesse to depict changes in his own thought patterns over time. "Steppenwolf" seems to be a journey. A journey that shows the progression of Hesse's thinking over many years, right up until the time he wrote that novel. The pessimism that pervades the novel to the end almost seems to finish with a ray of hope. Truly, Steppenwolf was a bizarre novel. If you are a thinker, it will make you think...just likely not about what you usually think about. In the end, it seems Hesse's reality was one of madness. Despair and pessimism, seemed to rule his early years (as it does with many people), yet as he grew older and he was exposed to the world, his world brightened a bit. Depression was a constant companion throughout his life, however. How little we know about a man's inner thoughts. Sometimes we can recognize little parts of ourselves in other people's writings. These are the stories that call to us. And they are not always happy ones. Reality is a mixture of emotions and thoughts swirling around us as we walk through the physical world. Two people can sit in the same room and experience totally different realities. The room doesn't change, our perceptions of it does. In a happy mood, I may notice the beautiful trees just outside my window. When I am unhappy, I may notice the dust on the furniture, or the nick in the wood near the bottom of my desk. All of those things were there yesterday...all that has changed is my mood. Reality IS what we make it. While we can share small slices of reality with each other, and find a commonality, the real game is within our head. Think, and change your reality. Act, and change everyone's. So today's rant will be an actual rant on a serious topic for me. The other day, a friend of mine told me that an old friend (who burned bridges and let our friendship fall) was talking smack about me. She defended me, which I was very grateful for. HOWEVER, later that night the same person got in contact with me and tried to trash me. I kept relatively calm about what they were saying and just blocked them, as I have no need for negativity in my life- but now I'm going to let what I would have LIKED to say out here.
I was told by this person that karate is not a real sport. This same person has played field hockey- for 4 months, no less. I was FURTHER told that I would never survive a day on the field because it requires hard work and dedication. Clearly something I don't have, right? I mean- I've only persevered through 11 years of rigorous training and conditioning in my SPORT AND LIFESTYLE and gone through 2 5-hour tests; each in which I had to do over 1,000 pushups... I don't have enough dedication though. Well, I'm very glad you dedicated four months of your life to a sport that will get you nowhere in life. Yes, I'm sure it's fun and does require some hard work and to you; it probably DOES take a lot of dedication (considering you have trouble keeping friendships for more than 7-8 months). But to tell a second degree black belt who has worked hard and dedicated their whole life to building stamina, power, and MORALS that they wouldn't survive a day on your field... is a bit much. I could come out on that field and last forever. But what I'd like to see is you for one come say that karate isn't a real sport to my face. And for two- come out on the mat and fight me. Because I doubt you would last 30 seconds. For those still wondering- yes, karate is a sport. Obviously. It takes a lot of dedication, hard work, stamina, power, and a love for what you do. But in return- you learn so much. Too many people see karate as a tool to kick people's asses with. I see it as a way to live life. In taking karate; I have learned: Honor Loyalty Bravery Honesty Self Control Etiquette Sincerity Character Effort Support Teamwork Leadership Compassion Acceptance And so much more. It isn't just a sport. It's a code for life. And I feel very sorry for you if you don't understand that. ~Maddie he above quote is from Dr. Seuss, and I think that nothing could be more true. Reflect on your life for a moment. I know, I know, it's a bit early in the post for this philosophical nonsense; but seriously- do it. How many memories can you recount? Do you remember what you had for breakfast? What you last said to your loved one(s)? How much do you have stored in your mind? Now; imagine if during the night, your loved one died. Would you then remember their last words; or the last thing you said to them? So many questions, I know. But they all tie in to the quote. Death can come at any time. As I have said in a previous post... 89,000 people die in their sleep each night. My close friend's mother died in her sleep last night. It happens. Sometimes; you expect it. Sometimes... death can take the most unlikely people. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. As for me, the only reason I so distinctly remember August 1st of 2013 is because it is the date of my mother's death. If she hadn't died that day, I wouldn't be able to tell you anything about it- it would just be another day. However, since it hold significance- I can tell you about that day and the night prior to it. I remember I was watching funny YouTube videos with my Dad. It was about midnight, maybe 11:45 ish at earliest. We got a phone call. This is uncommon, that late at night. My dad rushes to the phone; picks it up. It's the hospital calling to let us know my mom is in critical condition. My dad grabs his coat, shoes and keys and runs out the door, leaving me up with a phone number and strict instructions to not wake my sister up. I remember grabbing my dad's secondary cellphone and also my iPod, and, unsure of what to do; playing World of Warcraft. I played until about 2 in the morning. I can remember my character being a werewolf and I remember running around doing quests, trying to keep myself sidetracked. However, at 2 I went upstairs and I remember crawling into bed beside my grandmother and talking to her until I fell asleep at about 2:30. Not much later at about 4 AM, I was awoken by my Dad who told me my mom had passed... I remember laying my head back down into the pillow and telling myself that it was all a dream. I woke up 30 minutes later to the harsh reality that it wasn't. I got up and forced myself to go downstairs to talk to my dad and the rest after that fades away. I remember refusing to believe it... and even now; 2 years later I sometimes can't. But it's the truth. I can remember it so vividly- but can you; as an outside reader remember that day? Does it hold ANY significance to you? If you aren't a part of my family- and even if you are... it probably doesn't. It's just another day. When I was 6, I didn't regard playing with my Mom and spending time with her as anything but that. It was natural. I didn't expect it to go away anytime soon. However, 8 years later and 2 years after her death, I cherish all the good memories that I ever made with her. The moments that passed without me realizing; IN THOSE MOMENTS, how important they truly were and would come to be. I had forgotten about most of them until the time of her passing- and then they all flooded back, a bittersweet memorial of her. Tonight, I wound up talking to my best friend about death and the timing and probability of it. It started off rather stupid and carefree, but turned deep. I'll quote him as saying "I need sleep, plus what is there to offer right now that won't be here in the morning?". This launched me into what I refer to as my "deep" mode, and I quoted to him that every moment is precious since tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. He tried replying with "but I know I'm going to be here tomorrow. I have someone and something to live for." I wasn't having any of it and promptly told him that if he had a fatal heart attack in his sleep, or if someone killed him in his sleep, that prissy quote would not have any effect on him. "I know I won't for I have someone and something to live for" He then continued on about having someone to live for. I confronted him with this:
"What if the person you have to live for dies? Then what?" "Cause I won't let them" "You don't have unbridled control over life or death Of others or your own." He faced me with "how would you know?". A good point... which I answered with the following: "If someone was behind you right now and slit your throat you would have no control over it. If a bomb was dropped on your house and you died on impact. You would have no control over it. If you got into a fatal car accident tomorrow due to the other driver. You would have no control over it. Shit happens that's uncontrollable." "See these are all ifs" "They are all if's, but they are all if's with a probability stamped on them. All ways to die have a probability to them and indefinitely ONE of those if's will kill us all It may not be the same if for everyone; but an if kills all of us." An "if" will inevitably kill you someday; and I don't care WHO you are. An if killed my mother. An if killed my grandfather. An if also killed my friend's mother. Tomorrow is not guaranteed; but death eventually is. Make the most of the life you have right now. Waste no time in being the best you you can possibly be. And don't waste precious moments. ~Maddie "The tree of knowledge is NOT the tree of life. Those that know the most, must mourn the deepest." These are thoughts from George Byron. George was an English poet with a title. This is America so he can keep the title in England. At any rate, Byron seems to believe that you need to be intelligent to truly understand sorrow.
I am not certain that he is right about that. I think all people have the ability to feel sorrow, regardless of whether they are smart or not.I have known many intelligent people over the years, and many fools as well. All have felt sorrow at one point or another. I think the ability to feel sorrow has less to do with intelligence, than the ability to feel empathy for others. You can be the smartest person in the world, yet if you can't feel empathy, then its likely you will never know deep sorrow. Narcissists seem not to feel sorrow. If they did, they would likely not go through life hurting people with their self-centered actions. Byron seemed to be a narcissist, he had multiple lovers of both sexes, and he really didn't seem to care whether they were married or not. It is these actions that make me think that he didn't care about anything but himself. Still, Byron was a well-known poet of the romantic movement. and he was well educated for his day. It's possible that he was able to separate the sorrow he felt, from the potential sorrow he caused others. Do intelligent people feel sorrow more deeply? Or are they just better able to express their feelings? A well educated person likely has a fuller vocabulary than someone who is not well schooled. On the surface, that would make it seem like they felt sorrow more deeply. Having a title, it's likely that Byron rarely felt the sorrow of the lower class. What he saw, he saw from a distance, and that likely colored his view. When I started writing this post I had chosen sorrow as a topic because the mother of one of Madison's friends died yesterday. Maddie and I stopped by her house today (I am also friends with her grand parents) to drop off some food and pay our respects. Speaking with the grandmother I felt great empathy for her. It had nothing to do with my intelligence, or hers. It had to do with the look of pain that crossed her face on occasion and in the fact that I knew the feelings she was feeling as did Maddie. We have both suffered a great loss in our lives and we could feel the woman's pain since we had experienced a similar loss. Some lessons from the tree of knowledge (and the tree of life for that matter) are better left unknown. As for Byron, much of his work is forgettable in my opinion. As is this quote. Leave him and his writing for the Greeks. They revere him. Today I read a new book, "A Tree Is Nice". It is a book about trees and all of the nice things
about trees. Trees give shade. You can climb trees and eat fruit from some types of trees. I like apples, which come from trees. People can plant trees and watch them grow for years. Ashleigh |
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