Here we are at New Year's eve again. On average, 118 people will lose their lives tonight in an alcohol related accident. That number always seemed low to me, but who knows. Don't worry, this post is not about alcohol and why you shouldn't drink it. No, this post is about something else entirely.
It's about how so many people view New Years as some sort of new beginning. As if our trip around the sun will have any bearing on how they live their lives. How many time have you heard "Okay, this year I am going to do...(add your own failure here)"? My question is: if you want to do something, then why wait? Begin today! Why is January 1st so symbolic for some people? Is it because it makes it easier to keep track of their misery? I will give up smoking! I will give up fatty foods! I will give up excessive drinking! Or is it to make it easy to keep up with their successes? I ran a mile each day this year! I went to the gym three times a week since the new year!If these things are so important to you...and you are making a change to better your life, then why do you need to keep track of it so precisely? Also, why wait to give it up on New Years? Wouldn't it be better if you gave it up sooner? Please don't think I am picking on anyone here; I have done it too. I just find that when I do it, it is usually for something that I don't think I will really do. You see, when I really want to do something, I just do it, I don't care what day it is, I don't care who knows... I just do it. If you have something you think is important to you, then just do it. Don't wait for New Years. Don't make a big deal about it talking to your friends. Just do it. Less talk and more action is what we can all use in our lives. Are you tired of being a fatso? Then don't chug twenty beers tonight and then start your diet. Skip the booze and start right now. Are you planning on hitting the gym daily this year? Then skip the New Year's Eve party and go to the gym instead.Planning on writing a book? Then use tonight to get a few paragraphs written. Why wait? Sometimes, tomorrow never comes. I'd say Happy New Years, but, hey it's just another day, and I'd really rather not. Instead, I'll just wish you a happy day and many happy tomorrows. Don't wait for some arbitrary happening to start what you want to do. Do it now and make your happiness grow from here and now... not tomorrow just because the world wants you to believe that that day has more meaning than any other one that you lived through. And if you are going to go out to celebrate the New Year, then be safe. There are a lot of drunks on the road. Try your best not to be one of them.
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I play Wizard 101 almost every day. Grandma watches me play sometimes. My Daddy
plays with me at night too. Wizard 101 is fun to play, but I cannot play it until I finish my school work. Ashleigh Birds pair off together
Protect and hunt together Care for one another, Each one finding a lover I am caught up in a flock Not sure of where to go Around me I see pairings With much love and care to show I'm lost in migration Everyone's turned towards the sun But at the current moment All I want to do is run Maybe it's better off this way For once the nest is made One or the other One of the birds will fly away So maybe pairing isn't perfect Conformity isn't everything So I'll fly against the wind Even if it means I'll have to break my wings.
"If you want a quality, act as if you already have it." That's a quote from William James. James was a philosopher and one of the leading thinkers of the nineteenth century... or so says Wikipedia. I really don't know much about the man. What I do know is that his quote makes a lot of sense.
Think about it. If you want to be honest, then you need to act honestly. When you are talking about your own perception of yourself, there is no lying. You are either honest, or you are not. If you want people to believe you are honest, then you need to be honest. If you want to be kind and considerate, then you need to visualize what it means to be kind and considerate, and then act the way you envision. Psychologists have tried this line of thinking at mental hospitals. Patients were told to imagine how they would act if they were sane. They were then told to act the way they envisioned. Unbelievably, many of the patients saw improved behavior! Although we like others to view us positively, the most important opinion belongs to you. If you want major changes in your life, then you need to convince yourself that you have made those changes. If you don't convince yourself, then the changes will never be complete. Step back for a moment, and look at whatever it is you want to achieve. For many, they want to achieve the love of a significant other... so I will use that as an example. If you are not where you want to be in a relationship, the first thing you need to do is step back and look at what would actually make you happy. Next, you need to see what obstacles stand in your way. Be honest. The easiest example I can give is myself. Currently, I am not really trying to find someone to date. And I am being very successful at it! If I was looking to date, however, what steps would I need to take to accomplish that goal. The easiest thing to do is to picture what success means to me, and then see what steps I would need to take to be successful at it. I would start by thinking what do women actually look for when they are looking for a boyfriend. A quick view of match or zoosk.com will give me lots of ideas. As I read through I see that women are looking for lots of different qualities. Those looking for tattoos and motorcycles I quickly strike off the list. There are some things that I just won't do. If that is what those women are looking for, then they are likely too superficial for me. Others are looking to laugh or for an honest man. A man with manners who isn't just looking for a one night stand. Those types of wants seem doable. In fact, I have many of those qualities. The question now becomes, how do I show people that I have those qualities? The easiest way to do it is to imagine a person that has those qualities. How would they act? What would they do? Once I figure out those things, then I start doing them myself. But there is more to it than that also. How would a person who has those qualities look? And how do I match up versus that? In general, I dress in jeans and a t-shirt all the time. I am usually barefoot, unless I am going out in public, and then I wear either work boots, sandals or cowboy boots. Usually, I shave my head, because I am too lazy to keep it styled and I wear a beard because I don't like to shave. Oh yeah, and I spend about 80% of my time at home since I home school my children and work from home. In general, I would likely need to shave, dress nicer and g out to where I could meet women if I actually wanted to find a date. I have little interest there, though, so good job for me! I am comfortably settled into the life I lead at the moment. At ny rate, the point I am trying to make is that major transformations are possible. You just need to decide what you are willing to do to get what you envision. My advice here, though, is to be careful what you wish for...you just might get it! Today I read a new book. It is called My ''U'' Book. Little ''U'' found umbrellas and underwear.
She put it in her box. She also found an ugly duckling. She met her uncle and gave him an umbrella. An umpire asked for an umbrella,and they played baseball in the rain. Ashleigh
"The secret for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have." That little gem is by Woody Allen. I think his first wife would have been happier if she had never met him. He's the guy who ran off with his adopted daughter once she hit the age of consent. It makes me think that he was full of shit when he said that quote. Maybe if he had appreciated his wife a little bit more, he would not have thought about doing his adopted daughter.
Well, it just goes to show that the message is more important than the messenger! I happen to agree with Woody's quote. When you appreciate what you have, you don't yearn so much for what you don't. At this point in my life, I am happy with what I have. I don't want three houses or a new car. I like that the car I have is semi-reliable and doesn't cost me a lot in repair bills each year. I am happy watching my daughters grow and learn and I like eating my low-carb diet. I like where I live and the fact that I don't have a mortgage hanging over my head. Finally, I like that I live simply and have no pressure, either internal or external to pretend to be something that I am not. I like living barefoot for the most part and in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. When I have to dress up, I can...and when I do, I like to wear my cowboy boots. Usually, you will find me sporting a beard, because my daughters prefer me that way, and because I don't really like to shave. In fact, I shave my head more often than I shave my face nowadays. As you might have guessed, I am not actively looking for a girlfriend, though I wouldn't mind if one fell into my lap...both literally and figuratively! Being I work from home and really only go out to train at the dojo or to hit the dump or the library, the chances of that happening is slim. And, for the most part I prefer it that way. Raising two girls on my own and home schooling is very time consuming, and I don't think many ladies would want to get involved with that. Right now, my time needs to be for my daughters and my work. To put it simply, I appreciate what I have and I don't see any major changes coming down the pike in the coming year. In some sense I appreciate that and look forward to it. Keeping it simple is my new happy. What makes you happy? Do you appreciate what is in your life right now? Or do you always look to what is to come for your happiness? After nearly 50 years, I am glad that I have found happiness in what I have. Funny, how happiness was always here, but I was looking elsewhere to find it. "The years see much that the days never know." I spent today at McDonald's with my friend, and while I was there- I noticed some of the very funny people who came in. I'd like to list them here.
First off in the morning, there was an old guy who came in with an empty McDonald's cup and helped himself to a free refill- even though he hadn't bought the drink that day. According to my dad, the same guy had come in the previous morning and done the same thing. I guess some people have no shame when it comes to the free refill policy- but I applaud the guy for his smarts and the fact that he actually has managed to pull this stunt off twice. The next people I noticed were the teenagers who came in yelling and cursing. Unlike me and my friend, who were quite mellow and simply minding out business; these teens were rambunctious and to be honest, very annoying. They wouldn't stop talking and kept glaring at my friend and I. Finally, they ended up leaving after my friend and I kept sitting next to them when they moved. We didn't particularly like how loud they were, considering we were both writing. We get conversations- but not outright yelling. Finally, an old couple came in to sit in the corner opposite us and complain about almost everything. The older woman wouldn't stop talking about disrespectful teens (apparently more came in) while the older man was listening to politics entirely too loudly on his laptop and then complaining about it. All in all though... I managed to get all my work done and I had a good time hanging with my friend. Happy New Years~ Maddie I read a new book today. It is called My ''S'' Book. Little ''S'' put his shoes, socks, shirt and
sweater into his box. He put on his shorts and went for a walk. He found a shovel and made a sand castle. He went for a swim and met a seal. Soon, he met a sailor, who took him on a submarine. Ashleigh No snow has fallen
The ground is dead and bare Instead of laughing and harmony, There's turmoil in the air The cookies have been burnt The tree is nearly dead I think that everyone Let Christmas go to their head It's not about presents Or consumerist garbage These are just things That make our holiday tarnished Come together with family Share good will with friends And ensure good memories That never will end. Well, it's that time of year again! Merry Christmas everyone! Thanks for reading! Today I want to talk about Christmas spirit.
I was looking through my Facebook wall and I noticed a post saying that the person didn't really feel like they had Christmas spirit this year. I couldn't believe the number of people who had left a comment below that post saying they didn't feel it either. Most of the comments spoke about not putting a tree up, or not finishing shopping, or being stressed about shopping. No wonder these people didn't feel the Christmas spirit! These people have forgotten what Christmas is all about! And so has my daughter, Maddie by the way. Christmas isn't about shopping, or putting up a tree or even about a birthday really. To me, it is a celebration of appreciation. We celebrate Christ's birthday because we appreciate what he's done for us. He has died for our sins. In essence, he has given the ultimate gift. He has given his life, so that we can have everlasting life. If he didn't do that, then we likely wouldn't celebrate his birthday so widely. We don't celebrate Buddha's birthday, or Shiva's do we? (I would think that most people don't.) We celebrate Christ's birthday because we appreciate the sacrifice he did for us. We give gifts to each other to symbolize the great gift that he gave us all. So, who do we give gifts to? We give gifts to those we love and/or appreciate. This year, I will be giving gifts to my daughters and immediate family, but I also gave gifts to three people at my work who do the leg work for me when I am in press. I do this because I appreciate all of the hard work they do for me during the year. You may notice the same thing about yourself. For example, if you live in an apartment building, you may give your doorman a gift or a tip at Christmas time. I am certain that you don't give a tip to the doorman to the apartment building across the street. Why? Because you appreciate what your doorman does for you and your building...but you don't really appreciate what that other doorman does do you? My advice to you? Forget about all of the talk about Black Friday and "Holiday Spirit". Instead, focus on what you truly appreciate and look upon Christmas as a time when you can show your appreciation for all that you have to appreciate. As a Christian, I appreciate what Jesus did for me and I celebrate it. I say Merry Christmas as a greeting because I think it sounds nice and it reminds me to be more appreciative. I say it to the cashier at the store because I appreciate the fast courteous transaction we just completed...or because we chit chatted in line and made the transaction go a little bit quicker...or sometimes just to make them smile. When someone smiles at me, it makes me smile...which brightens my day. At Christmas time, try to appreciate those around you. It will make gift buying seem less like a chore and more of what it should be... a show of appreciation. And maybe...just maybe you will truly feel the Christmas spirit. And by the way, just because Christmas is the time of year that we usually show appreciation doesn't mean that it is the only time of year where you should feel appreciation. Actively try to appreciate those around you each and every day and you will feel the Christmas spirit throughout the year. Then, when you go to express those feelings at Christmas, you will have a truly amazing Christmas time. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!! (and yes, I did mean to shout that!) Never Fail Fudge
2 1/2 c. sugar 3/4 tsp. salt 1/2 stick butter or margarine 1 5 oz. can evaporated milk (2/3 c.) 1 Jar (7 1/2oz) Marshmallow Fluff 3/4 tsp. vanilla 1 12-oz. package semi-sweet chocolate pieces 1 /2 c. chopped walnuts Grease a 9-inch square baking pan; set aside. In large saucepan combine the first 5 ingredients. Stir over low heat until blended. Increase heat to Medium and bring to a full-rolling boil being careful not to mistake escaping air bubbles for boiling. Boil slowly, stirring constantly for 5 minutes use Soft-Ball test. Remove from heat, stir in vanilla and chocolate until chocolate is melted. Add nuts. Turn into greased pan and cool. Makes 2 1/2 pounds. The above recipe is my favorite recipe for fudge- but it has a memory behind it. I used to always make this type of fudge with my mom, so making it usually brings back depressingly nostalgic memories. It's a happy type of sad feeling that I get, if you know what I mean. Usually, I only make it once a year- either for Halloween or Christmas. This year, I made it for Christmas, and I made it tonight. It was late when I made it, so you can imagine that the memories got pretty deep and it did make me a bit upset (apologies if any tears hit the fudge, guys). Usually... Christmas-time isn't like this. I know of a post on Facebook that annoyed my dad, stating that "Christmas is in 3 days and I have never felt less Christmassy"... but I agree with it. Not because our house isn't decorated. Not because we don't have a tree; or because our family is worse off than others... but because the Christmas SPIRIT is lacking. Christmas isn't about giving or receiving, or the food, or the decorations. It's about family. About appreciation of those you love. About coming together (even if it's only 4 of you and a dog) and sharing the holiday together, laughing and relaxing. Most years, this spirit is everywhere in our household. This year, that has not been so. Instead- there has been negativity, fights almost daily, and bad attitude all around. Is that REALLY how we want to spend Christmas??? Come on guys. Grandma and Dad- I'm calling you both out. I know I can be a gigantic pain in the ass sometimes but I've been TRYING to stay happy recently. It's really hard to do when arguments and tension are every other step. Let's calm down. ALL of us. The cleaning can wait. There doesn't have to be stress about what pie flavor we have. What decorations are on (or off) of the tree isn't something to fight about and accusations of the past should be left in the past. We shouldn't fight over dumb shit. We shouldn't yell and be disrespectful. We shouldn't carry on about things that do not matter. We shouldn't be ungrateful to those who do so much for us. We shouldn't belittle or call names. We shouldn't try to push everyone around if things don't go our way, And this goes for ALL of us. Including me. We need more:
Honestly. I remember the happy times, where I could stumble down the stairs in my bathrobe to a happy, laughing family during the holidays. To the smell of good food cooking, not rotten attitudes souring the atmosphere. Where I could bake with the family and not feel my hair falling out bit by bit from stress and tears rolling down my face. Where everyone was just... HAPPY. Yes, there were little scuffles but NOTHING like this year. My gosh. You guys think this stuff doesn't bother me just because I retaliate in a bitchy way. It hurts. More than you'd think. Family. We are FAMILY. We should spend time together, love one another, and most importantly NOT GO TO WAR WITH EACH OTHER. The house should be a home, not a battle field. Merry Christmas, folks. - Maddie Yesterday I baked my first batch of cookies ever, with my Grandma. We made chocolate
chip cookies for Christmas. Today, we are going to make gingerbread men. I helped to prepare the batter and crack the gees. I like baking with Neema. Ashleigh "The question isn't "Who is going to let me?"; it's "Who is going to stop me?". That's a quote by Ayn Rand. I find with Rand, people either love her or hate her. Many people point out that she was sometimes hypocritical, and use that as a reason to dismiss all that she wrote. These people fail to separate the message from the messenger.
I think that anytime you judge what you hear, you need to be able to separate the message from the messenger. Ayn Rand, in some ways, was a reprehensible person. That doesn't make what she wrote 100% incorrect. My post today isn't about Rand's philosophy. It is about the quote I started the post with. Oftentimes, we go through life afraid to do things. We are afraid to do them because we are concerned with what people might think. We end up stopping ourselves because we are afraid of what might happen. What if I fail? What would "they" think? We look for permission to do things. By looking for approval, we limit ourselves. We think: this is the way my parents did it. If I do it the same way, they will be happy with me. This is the way my friends look. If I look the same way, I will be accepted. All of this is bullshit. Yet we do it. And if we don't do it, we know many who do. Many people want to be accepted by one group, so they do things that will make them unacceptable to another... trying to fit in. As they try to fit in with one group, they try to disassociate with another group. It is sad really. We all live together. What I do, as long as it does not hurt you or your rights, should not matter. What you do, should not matter to me. And as time goes on, we see more and more of this type of behavior. At one time, tattoos were for the lower class and piercings were done by punks for their shock effect. Now, tatoos are done by the young to look hip, and by the old to pretend they are young. Multi-color hair is worn by the young to be "different" yet it all looks the same anyway. So what is my point? My point is to be who you want to be. Just make sure, you know who you want to be. Do you want to be the person people look at and say "What a freak show!"? Do you want to be the person who mars their flesh for life to fit in for the moment? Or do you want to be the person who can be themselves, with the assets God gave them and be accepted by all anyway? If your friends will only hang out with you because your hair is green and you have a nose ring, then it's likely they are not the greatest friends for you to have anyway. If your friends will only hang out with you because they see you as someone they can drink with, then maybe you need to choose your friends more wisely. Look for people who accept you for who you are. Do things because you want to do them...not because you are worried what people will think if you don't do them. Do things because you actually want to do them, not because you want to shock someone by doing it. Some of the things I said above seem to contradict each other. But do they really? The first thing you need to do is to know yourself, and why yu do or do not want to do something. Ask yourself: "Why do I like that? Why do I want to do that?" Look for the bottomline why. I think that is you use this exercise, you may find that a lot of what you do, you do for other people. Look for the deepest why. It will help you to make the right decision for you. I read a new book today called My ''R'' Book. Little ''R'' had a box he wanted to fill. He
filled it with rabbits and radishes. He also found a raccoon and a rat. When he found a raft and a reindeer, they went for a ride on the river. They hit a rock and the reindeer fell off. They took a nap under a rainbow. When they woke, they ran a race with the rabbits. Ashleigh Yup. You read the above correctly. I'm one of those much-hated people who had never watched Star Wars until about 4 days ago. With the 7th movie now out, I figured it was time to give the movies a try and see what they were. Surprisingly; I enjoyed the rundown of the movies that my Dad gave me (for the first four anyway) and I ended up watching the second prequel with my best friend yesterday. I had gone to the movie with my Dad the day it was released, so I hadn't seen the prequel at that point. Seeing it for the first time, I thoroughly enjoyed it and managed to grasp the plotline easily.
What I don't understand is all the hype about it. I understand fandoms. I understand people loving an iconic and awesome movie series. But some people take it entirely too far... In the two times I have seen the movie, I have seen people watching it dressed in costume, people crying over the death of their favorite character, people screaming, shrieking and kicking seats when literally ANYTHING happens, and people getting pissed off when their favorite planet explodes to the extent that they "refuse to consider the movie as a movie". It's ridiculous. There is fandom. And there is stupidity. And people need to learn to decipher between the two. I think that is all that needs to be said for now... - Maddie George Orwell once said: "At 50, everyone has the face they deserve." I will be turning 50 in February. I look at my picture and I have no clue what he means! What did I do to deserve a chestnut and grey beard?
Here is an exercise folks. Take a look at my picture (above) and just this once, read a book by its cover. Tell me what you think my face says about me. Leave a comment, send an email, write a whole blog post about it! But somehow, just let me know what my face says about me. Once you do, then read some of my blog posts on this site and see if your initial thoughts match up with how I really am. Write the good, the bad, and the ugly. Express your thoughts with movie quotes if you like. Just make sure to express your true thoughts. Oftentimes, the way a person is defined is different depending on the person doing the defining. In high school, one person called me "Dad"... even though I did not have my first child until I was 35! In college I was called "pooh bear". At the dojo, I was called "the enforcer" for a while. Nowadays I am called Dad at home, sensei at the dojo and senior analyst at work (when I actually go into the office). To me, only one of those names or titles actually fits me, and that is Dad. I will always be Dad to my girls. The rest of the nicknames and titles flow into and out of my life. So, remember your assignment: answer, "What did I do to deserve that face?" and give your thoughts about it. I have something new. It is a green ball. It has spikes. My friend gave it to me. She
got it at the pizza place. I like my ball very much. Ashleigh We live in a society,
Controlled by anxiety Too afraid to make a noise So we make the wrong choice Sending children off to war But do we ever ask what for? It's a battle to be lost At much too high a cost When the corporation controls us And the politicians make a fuss We are voiceless Staying choiceless As our world crumbles around us Our freedom turns to dust Bravery is cowardice Ignorance is seen as bliss Innovation hurts the nation Giving us a false sensation Hope and peace? Bombs in the streets Love and care? Anger is what we share Hate has now been spread People are laying dead Our nation is sick in the head Being pumped full of lead We all condone this Ignorance, is bliss If we can't see it Does it not exist... It's all around us... It continues to persist... And nothing will stop it We remain ignorant Shut down and ignored When we do try to vent Open your eyes And open your ears See the truth... Face your peers. I read a new book today. It is called My ''Q'' Book. Little ''Q'' had a box. She found quilts
and put them in the box. There were too many so she wore one as a cape and pretended to be a queen. Then she met a real queen, and they quarreled. Ashleigh
"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." Those wise words come from Ernest Hemingway, one of my favorite writers when I was a kid.
What I liked about Hemingway was that he walked his talk. He fought for what he believed in. Many people talk about how things should be, but few go out of their way to fight for it, unless the fight is brought to them. Hemingway was different. He went to where the action was and fought for hid ideals. That's the way it seemed to me as a kid, anyway. Although Hemingway is known for a number of groundbreaking novels, my favorite works by him are his Nick Adams stories. In those, I found a kindred spirit, even if the stories were written more than fifty years before I was born. If you ever get a chance, I recommend those stories highly. To get back to the quote, I think it can be improved upon even further. "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody, is to first trust them with a little thing that takes some judgement." If they screw it up, then you know that they cannot be trusted with something meaningful. You see, anyone can be trusted with something minor. It's different though if they have to make some sort of judgement call. Not everybody makes wise decisions. Why wait to find out if someone can make a wise decision when the chips are down? Instead, ask them to make some sort of decision when the outcome really doesn't matter too much. If they do well, then it is likely they will at least try to make a good decision when the outcome is more important. On the flip side, if they can't make a good decision while nothing is at stake, then it's likely that they would not be able to when the chips are down either. Sometimes, we are all thrown into a situation where we need to trust someone we don't know to do the right thing. Most times we aren't. It is those times when we are not that my solution would be a superior choice. Remember, trust shouldn't just be given. It should be earned. I think everyone should be given the chance to earn your trust. You just don't need to make that first chance a life-altering situation. |
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