This quote comes from the poet and author Atticus Finch (who I'd honestly love to do a quote collection post about), and I found it while looking through quotes to post underneath one of my Instagram photos. While the quote seems to be in a descriptive form of someone, I like the metaphor it aims to convey- that metaphor being that while you may have a fear of moving forward in life or making big decisions that can affect your life, it can be just as scary (if not scarier) to perpetually stay still and not move forward in life.
If you've read this blog before, you likely know that life progression is something often discussed by my dad and I. My dad endorses people setting goals and striving to reach them, while I tend to encourage people to never stop learning and choosing to learn. In any case, I like this quote because of its similarity to our own message of not being afraid to make a change in your life to strive for something you've wanted. While I'm still young to make big decisions and take chances that'll drastically affect my future, I can certainly say that I hate "staying still" or not progressing forward in my life. I'm constantly moving and constantly changing- just not in a way that'll change my near future too greatly. Obviously, my choices and changes will amount to who I am in the long run, but it's not necessarily a near-term change. Recent changes I've made to my life include a smaller friend circle, higher work-load, and more time spent volunteering at my karate school. I wasn't happy with the drama and negativity in my life, or really the people I was spending time with... so I made the change and cut back my circle of friends to people who I love and am comfortable being myself with. I'm aiming to achieve an Associate's Degree when I graduate in 2019, so obviously, my workload needed to be raised. This was a necessary change that will end up eventually shaping my future, but I sincerely believe it's for the better. Finally, I'll be testing for my Sensei title in December- a huge step for me in my karate life and something I've wanted for a long time. The extra time spent in the dojo is not only necessary for my title, but also something I love doing- while I still get a little flustered in front of large classes, I love being able to help people one-on-one and I enjoy teaching people new things that'll help their form or technique. These choices and changes are big for me, right now. In 10 years, will it matter if I cut back my friend circle? Well, maybe. Who I choose to associate myself with could have a huge impact on who I become in life. Adding extra time to focus on my education is also vital to where I'll be in 10 years... and finally, acquiring that sensei title is something that will never expire or fade away for me. While the choices I make now may pale in comparison to the choices I might make as an adult, they are in no way any less important because they are stones in the path leading to my adulthood. I am not afraid of heights... and I'm already beginning to fly. It's never too early (or too late) to make a choice, make a change, that can affect your future for the better. - Maddie
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"Be comfortable with being uncomfortable." I am not sure who wrote this gem, but I think it is a great quote; if you look below the surface. My youngest daughter looked at this quote and told me: "See this is why I don 't read your posts. I never know what you are talking about!" Ashleigh is seven, and still takes everything she reads literally. I know some adults that do that too!
I think it is a great quote because it pertains to a fulfilled life. We don't grow if we remain in our comfort zone. In fact, we stagnate. The problem is, we all want to be comfortable. We like to avoid change which could involve second guessing ourselves in the future. Nearly everyone I know says they want to be happy. And yet, many of them don't take the steps to change things so that they are happy. Instead, they continue to do the things they have always done and complain about it instead. There are certain things that need to be done to bring about change... and that is true whether it is the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of a relationship, or a new job. In fact, it is true for everything. First, you need to know what you want to do. By knowing what you want, I don't mean that in a vague sort of way. I mean you really need to picture it in great detail. You then need to start thinking about what it will entail to reach that goal. Make a road map so to speak. Put down every little detail of what you would have to do to accomplish your goal. For instance, if you wanted to be able to give your car a tune up, there are certain things you would have to do. First, you would need to know what supplies you would need to do it. Secondly, it would help if you actually knew how to do it. If you don't then you may have to watch someone do one first, or take a class, or even watch a you tube video. Third, you would want to make sure you have all of the tools that you will need. Next you'll need to set aside time to accomplish your task. Etc. Etc. Once you have your detailed plan, the next step is the most crucial part. You actually have to start your endeavor. So many people will make plans and then wait for the perfect moment to start their plan. Unfortunately for many, that moment never arrives. The best time to start, once you know what you want is now. Not next month, not next year, but now. Part of the beauty of have a plan with the steps necessary plainly written out is that you have broken down what you need to do in smaller steps. You have already set it in your mind that there are a number of things to be done to reach your goal, and you can start by attacking one of those small things. Starting a new thing is half of the battle! By starting small two things are accomplished. First it allows you to get comfortable with the changes you are initiating. Secondly, you see some progress right away, and hopefully that will give you enough incentive to continue. Third, you have to keep going! Don't stop until you see your plan through. Get comfortable with working towards your goal. You are moving out of your comfort zone, there will be times when you are uncertain, or tired, or scared. Keep going! If something that you are doing isn't working as expected, then modify it a bit until it does work for you! As a side note, if you are working towards a life changing event, then try to surround yourself with like-minded people. Look for people who have accomplished something similar to what you are attempting. Ask them questions. Get to know them. The worst thing you can do is surround yourself with people who tell you that you can't. If you want to do something, you usually can. There will be a trade off though. You need to be willing to give up something in exchange for the new thing. I find that the things you may need to give up come down to three categories: Time, Money, People, or a combination of the three. To write this post, I am giving up about an hour of my time. Although I am writing it during the day, I know exactly what I am cutting out to write it. I will work an hour later this evening so that my work load doesn't suffer, and I will still do karate with my daughters. Instead, I will read a few less articles on stumble upon tonight and I will keep off of Facebook and Stumble upon. All said, if you embrace change and try to effect the changes you want to see, I think you will find you will begin to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. In honor of New Years being upon us in a few days, I think I'll give you all some quotes about change. New Years seems to mark the time that everyone decides to start changing themselves. Everyone resolves to start a diet, or to stop drinking, or to start exercising, or some such bullshit. Some people even make efforts to change their mindsets- and hey, if you want to try to change and need a set day to do it, more power to you. Good luck and all that. I personally don't believe that change needs a marker- if you're going to change, don't put it off waiting for a set date. Anyway, that's just me. Here are some quotes. Happy New Years folks.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but nobody thinks of changing himself." “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” “They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.” “Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” “This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” "What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.” That's a quote by Chuck Palahniuk. So who is Chuck? He is the author of the book "Fight Club". Although I have not read the book, I have seen the movie. (God it felt horrible saying THAT!!!) I guess I will have to put it on my list of things to read, since I did enjoy the movie, and oftentimes I enjoy the books more than the movies. I must admit, I like Chuck's quote. I have always felt that false expectations always works to make things seem worse than they actually are. Sometimes I go to movies with very high expectations and I end up disappointed... even if the movie isn't bad, but just mediocre. Meanwhile, I have also gone to films where I entered with little to no expectations and left the theater happy that I went! Buddha had a number of great quotes about expectations. I'll list a few below, then continue on with my thoughts. "Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance." "The root of suffering is attachment." "Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." "Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." "When we do not expect anything, we can be ourselves." That last quote may not be by Buddha. I believe I have heard it somewhere before. But for right now, we'll give it to Buddha since it seems like something he would say! It seems to be a recurring theme with Buddha that all troubles seem to start when we set expectations. Even worse than having expectations about things, we sometimes set expectations for ourselves.
Unfortunately, I like to do this. They are not expectations per se, but goals. I definitely like to set goals for myself and then strive to reach them. It is a way for me to focus my energy and use it towards creating a favorable outcome. While I do not always reach my "goals" right away, I can note progress towards them over time. Sometimes, I will change my goals due to changes in my life.When I do this, I do not feel like I am in hell. It is usually because I realized that there was either a better way of accomplishing my goal, or there was a better goal available. Now with all of that said, I will admit that I had a period in my life that I considered hell. Expectations did lead to some of it. When I was younger, I always expected that my wife would outlive me. She was ten years younger than me and given the mortality table, I was reasonably confident that she would survive me. That wasn't the case, however. She died three years ago. Although her mental illness took her away from our family three years before that. For the past seven years I have been raising my daughters on my own. My Mom lives with us now, and she is a great help, but I raise the girls as I see fit. At any rate, I think you can see where my hell was coming from. My expectations led me to have all of my plans tied to my wife being alive and with us. My business was based out of my home, and I had banked on my wife being there to help raise the children. For three years, there was only me to do that. Me, a single Dad with a newborn baby, a seven-year-old little girl, and a mentally ill wife who still needed my love and understanding... even though she could no longer live with us. To make a long story short, it is amazing that we survived that time as well as we did. I never want to have to relive those circumstances. Long-time readers of this blog, likely know some of our trials. There are some things I will never talk about though. Those are parts of my own personal hell. Once again, I have expectations for myself and my family. Am I setting myself up for further hellish times? I don't think so. I try to listen to Buddha, and keep my expectations low. I do aim high with my goals, though, and work diligently to make those happen. Are those expectations? No, they are goals, and they help to give my life meaning. In the end, keep your expectations low and set your goals high... and diligently work towards them. Hopefully, this strategy will let you walk the thin line between heaven and hell and allow you to survive. While there may not be a heaven on earth, there certainly doesn't have to be a hell either. God bless! I really want to go somewhere. Do you know where I want to go? I want to go to a zoo but I also want to go to a Aquarium to see fish like seahorses, and dolphins. I want to see giraffes, zebras, and elephants at the zoo.
Ashleigh "If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self." This is a quote by Napoleon Hill. Hill was one of the first self-help gurus and the author of "Think & Grow Rich". I like the quote above because it is true.
One of our harshest critics is ourselves. There are so many reasons that people feel insecure. For some, it is their looks. For others, it may be their intelligence or how they think they are perceived. None of these things really matter though! What matters is what we think. If we think our looks are going to hold us back, then they will. We will make sure of it. If we think we are dumb, then inevitably we will do something to reinforce this feeling within ourselves. I believe, to be happy in life and be successful, no matter what your definition of success is, we need to first conquer our own self doubts. Self doubts can sabotage nearly anything that you want to do, even if the doubts you have are not directly tied to what it is you are trying to achieve! For example, let's say you want to start your own business. You may have a great idea for a business and all of the drive necessary to get it off the ground. Even so, you believe in your heart that people won't want to buy things from you because you are fat. Over time, you begin to focus so much about what people think about your weight, that you fail to focus on how to present your product. You begin to avoid instances where you need to be in front of a potential customer. Eventually, your business fails and you say to yourself, see I told you that you were too fat. Try to lose some weight first next time! So yes, the business failed. Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with you being overweight. Instead it had everything to do with how you acted because of your beliefs. The example I used above is a little far fetched. And yet, it isn't really. Now picture the above scenario and instead replace the "too fat to be successful" example with your own fear. How would your fear impact the result? I hate to speak to people because they will think I am stupid. I don't want to go out and ask people what they think unless my friends are with me because I am too shy. I don't want to help that customer with their problem because I may not be smart enough to give them what they need. As I said, replace the example with your own internal fear. What would happen? How would you react? Does your internal voice stop you from making rational decisions or from taking decisive actions? If so, then you need to conquer yourself first! Remember, that no one is perfect. Robin Williams, a comic that made thousands of people laugh and was well liked by millions, constantly fought depression. Many other Hollywood stars or rock musicians also battled depression. They could not see their own self worth, or what others valued in them. My wife had a similar problem. She constantly battled her inner demons. Because she set such a high standard on her looks, she battled two eating disorders. When they strains from the disorders got too great, she would drink to self medicate. The constant alcohol use took a toll on both her mind and her body. Three years ago, she drank herself to death. The best way to fight your inner demons is to recognize your inner fear, and then do what needs to be done anyway. If someone won't buy from me because they think I am fat, and yet they need the product I have anyway, then that is them not being rational, not me! If I say something, to help someone make a decision and they think I am weird, then so be it! None of those things are going to kill me! How I react to those things, may kill me though. Before you go to conquer the world, first be sure to conquer your own self doubts. It is likely the hardest battle that any of us will ever have to face alone. "You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream." That's a quote by C.S. Lewis. If you haven't heard of old Clive, then it's likely that you at least know one of his greatest works, The Chronicles of Narnia. He was also an Oxford professor, whose best friend was J.R.R. Tolkien.
Anyway, I saw his quote and I knew I had to write about it. You see, his quote is the way I try to live my life! I want to be active my entire life, and the best way to do that is to set goals. I try not to let my age stand in my way from doing anything I want to do. I may have to modify my technique a little bit, but I firmly believe that any goal is achievable if you put enough effort into it. Here are some examples: Iva Barr is 88 years old. This year, for the 35th-consecutive year, she will be running in the London Marathon. In fact, she ran in the first London Marathon ever held, way back in 1981! Want another example? How about Harriette Thompson? She is the oldest person to ever complete a marathon. She ran in the Rock N Roll San Diego Marathon last year. She finished the race in 7 hours and 24 minutes. She is 92. Age didn't stop them from doing what they wanted to do. Nope! They made plans and carried them out, and achieved their goals. There are two types of people in the world. Those that make do, and those that make excuses. When I go to meet my maker, I don't want there to be any excuses! I also don't want there to be any more regrets. If I want to do something, I find a way to do it. And that's it. I don't care if it takes years of practice, or great physical or mental effort. I set the goal, and then look for ways to accomplish it. Here are two examples. I have always wanted to do a head-high spinning back kick (since I joined karate anyway). I think they look cool and are the type of attack that will catch an opponent off guard. The problem was that I did not have the balance, speed or flexibility to do the kick. A few months ago, I started to practice the kick before the Little Ninjas class I help to teach on Mondays and Thursdays. Before each class, I would practice both spinning kicks and sidekicks on the large free-standing bag at the dojo. At first, I was happy if I could hit the bag a solid shot. The more I practiced, the higher I would try to bring my kicks. At this point I can land a spinning back kick at head level whenever I like. Not only that, but I can also land straight kicks, sidekicks and crescent kicks at that same head level. You see, by practicing for accuracy and flexibility, I improved all of my kicks. After achieving the proper height, I started practicing landing the kicks at that height but with full power. I can now knock the bag over with a spinning back kick on demand. The first time I achieved it, I kicked so hard I pulled my hamstring. I kept practicing anyway, and I am proud to say I can knock it over without hurting myself at all. It was around that time that Shihan told me that Hanshi could knock that same bag over with a punch. For those of you who don't know Hanshi Larry Sullivan, he is 62 years old and is in terrific shape. Hanshi means highest rank, and this man deserves the title and all of the respect it entails. In my opinion. Hanshi is in better shape than anyone who takes his classes. He has professional fighters that he trains that cannot beat him in a match. But I digress, when I heard that he could do that, I wanted to be able to do it too. This is a large heavy bag folks, and most people cannot knock it over with a kick, let alone a punch. Well, I started to punch the bag as hard as I could. At first, I could only make the bag tilt, but not fall over. I kept trying though, and eventually I got it! I have knocked it over with a single punch on three occasions now. I still can't knock it over every time I punch it yet, but I eventually want to be able to do it at will. Although none of these goals will ever have a monetary reward for me, they do give me a deep sense of satisfaction. Looking ahead, I am now training to do better deep long-hold push ups. Usually, when I do push ups I do them quickly and do what amounts to either a half or two-third push up. They are quicker and easier when you are facing hundreds of push ups. Lately, Hanshi has been working us on deep. all the way push ups that we then hold for about 30 seconds. In other words, think of dropping downwards to do your push up, and then stop with your chest about 1 inch above the floor and then hold it there like that for 30 seconds. Let me tell you, those types of push ups are brutal! The other day, I made the mistake of mentioning that I hated those push ups. That is the quickest way, in my opinion, of saying that you need help with something. Hanshi was only happy to oblige, and now we are doing some of those types of push ups in many of the classes I go to. I am now up to doing six of those (after doing a full set of normal push ups). My goal is to get to where I can do a full set of 25 of that type of push up. Who cares that I am fifty! A couple of those deep push ups each night before bed will help me to achieve my goal. At this point, I am thinking I will be able to do it by Christmas. Yikes! At any rate, do not let your age be the deciding factor in what you do or do not want to do. If it is not impossible, you can achieve it, if you want it bad enough and you are willing to work towards doing it every day. You are only here once, folks. Make the most of it! This quote is possibly one of the best I have come across in a long while... and recently; I've come to find more appreciation for it. As I've been slowly getting older (odd to be hearing from a 14 year old, but hey, we age too) I've been finding more and more reasons why silence is better than talking, and that isolation can sometimes be a lot better than being social. For one, my house is constantly noisy due to my little sister being young; so any moment of pure silence and relaxation is much appreciated. My house in general is loud- my family do not hesitate to make noise; be it with loud music, cooking, cleaning, yelling, talking, phone calls, or anything else.
-side note- The quietest times for me are often in the very early morning, before anyone else is awake. I usually make myself a cup of tea and watch the sun rise; before doing a little work and then resting on the couch. - In any case; that was NOT the point of this post! What I'd like to point out is the fact that too many people open their mouth to spread hate, negativity, and worry nowadays. I hear it and see it almost everywhere; online and in reality, and it sucks. In my opinion, life is too short and life after death isn't guaranteed. We were all placed on this one planet to get along and coincide; and instead, we go to war with each other. We're so desperate to learn about the life on other planets; when we can't even accept those of our own kind who are slightly different. It's ridiculous how hateful we, as humans, can be towards each other and it's really un-necessary. This being said, I think all of us can do with a bit of silence for once. We become so angry, so willing to antagonize others in the heat of the moment, and it's awful. So I have a challenge for my readers; as a way to calm down and be happier. This challenge may be a bit big, but I want you to try and at the end of next week, leave me a comment telling me about your experience. Here goes! I wants you to: - take at least one relaxing, long bath. - make yourself a cup of green tea every morning. - find 30 minutes every day to sit and meditate. - take at least 15 minutes every day outside in a secluded area, enjoying nature. - refrain from saying negative things to others. - if angered, take deep breaths until calm. - don't speak unless what you are about to say has some sense of positivity in it. There's too much hate in the world. Let's beat it back a little. Good luck, good night, and treasure the silence. - Maddie Well, it had to happen. I finally found a Marcus Aurelius quote that I disagree with. The quote in question is: “Whatever happens to you has been waiting to happen since the beginning of time. The twining strands of fate wove both of them together: your own existence and the things that happen to you.”
I disagree with this quote wholeheartedly! The quote seems to be saying that things are predestined to happen and that you have no control over anything in your life. Not only do I find this quote incorrect, but I also find it at odds with nearly everything I have read by Marcus Aurelius. Usually, Aurelius writes about doing your best and changing your thoughts and actions to change your world. This quote says nearly the exact opposite. If everything was predestined, then why do anything? Why bother to worry about whether what you are doing is right or wrong, since in the end it doesn't really matter. What a crock of bull! I believe everything we do matters. That is why I find it important to do my best, no matter what I am doing. If everyone acted as if what they did didn't matter, then nothing would be done properly... it's destined to be a certain way, so if I do a poor job, then I guess it was just destined that I do a poor job. What rubbish! The only things that are destined to happen are the negative consequences that will occur if you don't do things properly. "For every time there is a season." Think about what you want to happen, and then create it. The only destiny that you have is the one you create yourself. Sure accidents can happen that will change the path that you are on. But these are truly far and few between. Everyone's days have there ups and downs. Most times, you can smooth over the little bumps in the road and still attain what you are striving for. Don't give up... and don't give in to poor thinking. You can achieve what you want to achieve! Nothing is predestined. Do your best, and make your own destiny! While I've seen my dad write about this topic matter before; I've never seen it quite put this way! This quote comes from Brian Hugh Warner, better known by his stage name Marilyn Manson. It's absolutely true, too- if all our wishes could come true, most of our dreams would disappear and we'd be forced to try to find new ones. But... they would be granted and disappear too; and is life really worth living if you have no goals and everything just gets handed to you?
I know that (at least personally), I hate actually reaching my goals. The euphoria of achievement only lasts for a short while, and then everything calms and goes back to normal; if not even more dull than before I achieved the goal. I completely agree with my dad on this topic- that the trip you go on to reach your goal is the most important part of having goals. Goals motivate us to do better in life; to go farther and to LIVE. Without goals... what would we do? If all our wishes became true; we would all be rich and lazy. We would have no motivation to live because there would be no loss, disappointment, change, or ANYTHING! There'd be nothing left to try for, and we would all give up. So I believe Manson had a very good quote; and made a point that most would fail to think about before uttering the words "I wish". I'm sure that 1 or 2 wishes would be fine- maybe for the first day or so; the wish granting would be fun! But soon it would just become common and boring; and no one would want to do anything anymore. How awful would it be to have nothing to do? Nothing to think about or try for? NOTHING TO WORK TOWARDS? I think this is the reason some people get unhappy. They either don't set goals, or they set unrealistic goals and give up after a day when things don't move as fast as they hoped. Sit back and enjoy the ride that is life; and don't forget to hit the gas and take a few chances. Don't let your dreams disappear. - Maddie
"If you want a quality, act as if you already have it." That's a quote from William James. James was a philosopher and one of the leading thinkers of the nineteenth century... or so says Wikipedia. I really don't know much about the man. What I do know is that his quote makes a lot of sense.
Think about it. If you want to be honest, then you need to act honestly. When you are talking about your own perception of yourself, there is no lying. You are either honest, or you are not. If you want people to believe you are honest, then you need to be honest. If you want to be kind and considerate, then you need to visualize what it means to be kind and considerate, and then act the way you envision. Psychologists have tried this line of thinking at mental hospitals. Patients were told to imagine how they would act if they were sane. They were then told to act the way they envisioned. Unbelievably, many of the patients saw improved behavior! Although we like others to view us positively, the most important opinion belongs to you. If you want major changes in your life, then you need to convince yourself that you have made those changes. If you don't convince yourself, then the changes will never be complete. Step back for a moment, and look at whatever it is you want to achieve. For many, they want to achieve the love of a significant other... so I will use that as an example. If you are not where you want to be in a relationship, the first thing you need to do is step back and look at what would actually make you happy. Next, you need to see what obstacles stand in your way. Be honest. The easiest example I can give is myself. Currently, I am not really trying to find someone to date. And I am being very successful at it! If I was looking to date, however, what steps would I need to take to accomplish that goal. The easiest thing to do is to picture what success means to me, and then see what steps I would need to take to be successful at it. I would start by thinking what do women actually look for when they are looking for a boyfriend. A quick view of match or zoosk.com will give me lots of ideas. As I read through I see that women are looking for lots of different qualities. Those looking for tattoos and motorcycles I quickly strike off the list. There are some things that I just won't do. If that is what those women are looking for, then they are likely too superficial for me. Others are looking to laugh or for an honest man. A man with manners who isn't just looking for a one night stand. Those types of wants seem doable. In fact, I have many of those qualities. The question now becomes, how do I show people that I have those qualities? The easiest way to do it is to imagine a person that has those qualities. How would they act? What would they do? Once I figure out those things, then I start doing them myself. But there is more to it than that also. How would a person who has those qualities look? And how do I match up versus that? In general, I dress in jeans and a t-shirt all the time. I am usually barefoot, unless I am going out in public, and then I wear either work boots, sandals or cowboy boots. Usually, I shave my head, because I am too lazy to keep it styled and I wear a beard because I don't like to shave. Oh yeah, and I spend about 80% of my time at home since I home school my children and work from home. In general, I would likely need to shave, dress nicer and g out to where I could meet women if I actually wanted to find a date. I have little interest there, though, so good job for me! I am comfortably settled into the life I lead at the moment. At ny rate, the point I am trying to make is that major transformations are possible. You just need to decide what you are willing to do to get what you envision. My advice here, though, is to be careful what you wish for...you just might get it! All great achievements require time. That is a quote by the poet Maya Angelou. Believe it or not, my first exposure to Maya's work was in the subways of New York. The subway used to put little ads up that quoted her work. The ads weren't promoting anything...it was just her poetry. I would sit as the train moved from station to station and read her work. I always though "What soft, kind words for a hard world." Her words were peaceful and thought provoking.
The quote above is also thought provoking. Time is the hidden factor is most things. It is hidden because it is so obviously there. Think about the last second jump shot that wins a game. Some people just see the arc of the shot, the swish of the net, and the joy as the shooter is carried off the floor in victory. But there is so much more to that story. The hours of practice it took for that person to be out on the floor at that moment in the first place. The hundreds, no thousands of previous shots it took for that person to be good enough at his craft to be out on the floor in a championship game. To not only be out on the floor but tio be the person relied upon to take that final shot. We've all seen movies like The Bad News Bears where Timmy Lupus ends up being the hero because he closes his eyes and somehow catches the ball that otherwise would have fallen as a grand slam home run that would have won the game for the other side. And we all know that that scene is complete bullshit. In reality the Timmy Lupus' of the world are booger-eating morons (that is a line from the movie by the way, so don't take it as me judging the character harshly), and there is no way that ANY self-respecting coach would have him out in the field during the final inning of a close game. I have coached in leagues where are children have to play at least a quarter in each game (basketball). The good coaches make sure to use all of their less talented players prior to the fourth quarter. Particularly in a close game. That way they can have all of their best players available for the final quarter of the game and be in a better position to win. Time, I find, is the difference between success and failure about 90% of the time. The person who practices more, or has more experience doing something, is more often the person who will be successful. You might ask, "Well what about the person who discovers something totally new?" Even then, I would say the person with more experience wins out. Think about Thomas Edison and the light bulb. Thomas Edison did not discover the light bulb! He discovered the proper materials which needed to be used to make the bulb last longer. The idea of a "light bulb" had been around at least since the lantern. Edison was attempting to find a filament that would allow electricity to be used to serve as the energy for the light instead of fire. He succeeded, eventually. But he had many failed experiments before he found success. I think you see where I am headed with this. If you love something, give it time. If you love karate, practice. If you love to write, then write something daily. But most importantly, if you love your wife or children, then spend time with them. The greatest achievement any of us can have is to be surrounded by the ones we love. Yet so many of us go through life lonely, or looking to distract ourselves by doing things that take us away from the ones we love. Television, drinking, drugs, watching sports on TV, gambling... none of these things lead to our own achievement. Yet many people spend most of their spare time pursuing those endeavors. It's sad really, how wasting our time can lead to a life with no achievement. To be great, you need to use your time wisely. And I use the word "great" loosely here. What is important to you? It can be a who or a what. Whatever it is, you need to spend time to achieve the "greatness" you seek. My goal is to be as great a father as I can for my daughters. To do that, it takes time. Time to play with them, to teach them, to talk to them and to just allow them to know that I am always there for them. I work from home. I home school them. I train at the dojo with them, and I explore the world with them. Make time for what and who you love. THAT is the greatest achievement that anyone can ever have, in my opinion. Congratulations are in order for my daughter Madison. She fought in the USA Karate Grand Masters Tournament this weekend in Rindge, New Hampshire, and walked away as the 2015 Black Belt sparring champion for the co-ed youth Division (13 - 17 years old). She won her final match 5 points to 4 in a hard-fought battle to the finish. To win, she had to beat a seventeen year old boy who was undefeated for the entire tournament season. In fact, he had already beaten Maddie at least twice in other tournaments.
Needless to say, I am very proud of my daughter. Early in the match, her opponent jumped out to a two nothing lead. In black belt tournament sparring, a competitor can win a match by scoring three unanswered points, so the third clash was critical for Maddie. She quickly scored a point to her opponents stomach to force the match to a regulation five-point finish. Although I am happy that Maddie won, I am really proud of the guts and determination she showed. It takes a lot of guts to get up in front of people and perform. In this regard, all of the competitors on Sunday showed tremendous courage. Win, lose or draw, you are putting yourself up in front of a gym full of people and trying to do your best...knowing that you WILL be judged. Sometimes, the harshest critic isn't the three judges sitting in front of you... it is the little voice inside your head that tells you your best might not be good enough. No matter how tough your competition, the hardest fight can be with yourself. All of the competitors fought past their toughest critic on Sunday. I watched a number of matches on Sunday as a spectator. And I can tell you, I saw no losers there. Everyone who competed, no matter where they placed, were victors. They fought past the little voices in their heads that say I can't...and they proved that they could. At our USA Karate dojos we have five rules. They are:
This was particularly true after the sparring matches, particularly in the adult divisions where the exchanges were heated. Fierce competitors in the ring, once the final point was called in the match you would see them hug and congratulate each other...as it should be. I am very proud to be associated with USA Karate and the martial artists who train there. I am also happy and proud that my daughters are training at the dojo with me. My daughters both started training at the age of three. Originally, I took Maddie to classes so she could learn to protect herself. I soon came to realize that training in the martial arts is a way of life. So many of life's lessons can be learned at the dojo and carried over into our everyday lives. Effort, etiquette, sincerity, character and self control only touch on the surface of what my daughters learn at the dojo. Courage, self confidence, a healthy lifestyle, friendship, trust, the wisdom of peace over power... So many lessons, and yet I have barely touched the surface. My daughter's victory on Sunday was hard won and well earned. I am extremely happy for her and very proud of her. Yet every day that she goes to the dojo to train, she receives things that are more valuable than the trophy. The trophy symbolizes the hard work that she has done for eleven years to reach where she is today. The weekly visits to the dojo and the lessons she has been taught there are what put her in the position to win the trophy in the first place. In the end, karate is more about living than fighting. We initially go to the dojo to learn how to defend ourselves. We come out learning more about ourselves, and how to live a better, more meaningful life. Alice: "What road do I take?"
Cheshire Cat: "Where do you want to go?" Alice: "I don't much care where." Cheshire Cat" "Then it doesn't matter which way you go." I am of course paraphrasing a paragraph from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. It is a wonderful book that is silly, yet at the same time teaches life lessons. I had Maddie read it when she was younger. I was going to have her read it again and compare and contrast her thoughts on the story. But, alas, Maddie has started taking her high school classes through VLACs now, so I have less control about what she studies and writes about. While I believe I did a good job teaching my daughter (they jumped her up a grade when she joined the program. She was in 8th grade, but they allowed her to take classes as a freshman in high school), her new program allows her to take college courses that will count as both high school and college credits. If all goes well, when she graduates high school, she will also receive an associates degree. I looked in to the program, and nearly 100 colleges across New England will accept the credits from her associates degree towards their 4-year degree program. As Maddie gets older, she is quickly reaching an age here she will have to start making decisions that can have an impact on her happiness both in the present and in the future. To do that, properly, she will need to know where she wants to go in life. Happiness is not a physical location. It is a set of choices you make. It is a goal. If you do not know what makes you happy, you will have a harder time achieving it since you will not know what path to follow to achieve happiness. When I was younger, I thought that partying and girls were my path to near-term happiness. At the same time, I was looking towards my future, and I thought that having a career where I made a lot of money would ensure my happiness when I got older. I chose finance, since I believed you could make a good living working within that industry, and because I wasn't really interested or cut out for a career in medicine, law, or computer science, the three other area where I thought there was money to be made. I wanted a career where I thought I could be happy doing it for the rest of my life. In hindsight, I was very naive. Out of all of the things that I thought, I was only correct in one area. I really do enjoy working in finance, and for a while there, I was making a lot of money. As for the rest of it, I stopped "partying about sixteen years ago. My wife died two years ago and, I suspect, given the rest of my life, a new girlfriend will be tough to find. Not that I don't think I can find someone to date. More that I have other things that are more important happening in my life, and that finding the right person to fit my ideals may be more trouble than it is worth. So, where do I want to go? At this point in my life, I want to make sure that both of my girls have a good start in life. I want both of my daughters to be able to defend themselves in almost any situation and I finally, I want my daughters to be happy and make better decisions than I did earlier in my life. Is there a way to reach where I want to go? I hope so. As for Maddie, keep thinking about your future, and what will make you happy. Don't just settle for whatever your friends think or are doing. Decide for yourself what YOU want...and then pursue it. Remember, money won't buy you happiness. But it does help to have it to make everything a little easier, You will find happiness from within. Find something you want to do, and then pursue it with a passion. You are a thinker... as I am as well. From one thinker to another, do not abandon one of your strengths because you don't know if you will find an answer that suits you. You will. You just may not have found it yet. . Okay, no quote today! What can I do? Who cares?! It's what I can't do that interests me. If you always set out to do what you can do, then there is no growth and you can't progress. Therefore, it is best to try to do what you can't do. Over and over again, until you can do it. Thus you increase what you can do and have a fuller life because of it.
I was just reading a blog post by James Altucher. It was a long post, and most of it just wasn't memorable to me. Yet there is one part near the end where it really hit home. He was writing about how his daughter had just lost a tennis match. He asked her " 'What did you learn?" She said, “What do you mean? I was disappointed.” He wrote: "If she always sticks to only what she can do (a safe, consistent serve instead of a harder one that will miss more) then she will never get better at what, right now, she can’t do." It’s the can’ts that add up to a win or a loss. The “cans” just keep you in the box of what is safe. That last line is brilliance in a simple form. The world doesn't progress with what "CAN" be done, but it takes astounding leaps when someone accomplishes what in the past couldn't be done. Think about it: In 1969 NASA put a man on the moon. One hundred years earlier, man was only going aloft in balloons. In 1903, Orville and Wilbur Wright brought us the first heavier-than-air flight. In 1926, Robert Goddard invented the first liquid-fueled rocket and by the 1950's man was leaving the earth's atmosphere. Man progressed by doing what they previously could not. Nowadays, Elon Musk is trying to land a man on Mars! In the years since 1969, We have put space stations in orbit around the earth, and we have put rovers on Mars, as well as numerous other accomplishments in space exploration. All of these wonderful discoveries and achievements are being driven by men and women who are not afraid to try what they can't do. On a more personal level, we don't have to aim for the stars to do something that we have never done before. For me, the martial arts and my writing give me two outlets to do things I have never done before. In karate, I have been working on spinning hook kicks to the head for months. When I first started practicing them, I could barely do a spinning hook kick to the body let alone to head level. The more I practiced the kick I could barely do, the better I have gotten at it. Now I can hit the bag at head level regularly with my spinning back kick. I now work on the timing so that I can actually land it against a moving target. As for my writing, I am always trying to push the envelope. In general, I write for a living. I work for Value Line and I cover 49 stocks and an industry. At a minimum, that amounts to about 200 articles a year. Supplementary reports likely bring that number closer to 250 pages. On top of that, I also write 5 blog posts a week for Mountain Rants. That means an additional 260 posts a year. It is with Mountain Rants where I can really try to push the envelope. I use Mountain Rants to tell my daughters things that I want them to know. Little life lessons to help them learn to think or live their lives more happily. The beauty of the posts is that they are there for posterity. My daughters, and others, can look at them whenever they like. Hopefully, they will find one or two ideas that will make their lives easier in the coming years. When I am not trying to teach my daughters something, I try to explore my own thoughts so I can see where I am in my life. No one is perfect, myself included. The only way to move forward is to examine where I am and where I have been. Socrates once said: "An unexamined life is not worth living." For Socrates, I think he meant that he wanted people to make conscious, ethical choices. For me, it means to see where I am now and how I can better myself in the future. Moving forward isn't found in the can. It is found in the can't. What is it that I can't do now, that I may be able to do with a little practice or trial and error? Where can I then go once I am able to do that? These are the questions that I look to answer. The final question is: Is it worth doing? We all only have so much time on this earth. Why waste it doing something that just isn't worth the effort to do? The answer to that will be different for each person. While the time it would take me to learn how to play the guitar at 50 may not seem worth it to me, for someone else it may fulfill a life's dream. Meanwhile, others may find it incredibly stupid for a fifty-year-old guy to learn how to do a spinning hook kick to someone's head. To each their own. In the end, I am interested in the can't. While Elon Musk's urge to go to Mars may be a nobler effort than my spinning hook kick, the difference in our incomes make his can't a little closer for him to achieve than it would be for me. If I can get off this earth with having landed at least one spinning hook kick to the head and having taught my daughters all that I have wanted to teach them, then I'll have reached today's horizons. Will these goals be enough for me tomorrow? Nope. As long as I am alive my goals will continue to change.. or more likely to expand to include other can'ts. Right now, as I write this, I know I have other goals as well. Other can'ts that I want to become cans. This blog post would go on for pages if I let it. For now, these two will do for good examples. What can'ts do you want to turn to cans? "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." That was a quote by Mahatma Gandhi. It is so simple, that you almost want to dismiss it the moment you read it. And yet, Gandhi lived it! The change he was looking for didn't take a moment to occur, it took his whole lifetime and then some. While his quote is simple, it is also truthful. Change usually doesn't happen on its own. It needs some sort of catalyst. If you want change, then there needs to be a catalyst. A single raindrop cannot carve out a limestone cavern. Yet over thousands of years and billions of raindrops, huge caverns can be formed. Although I doubt Gandhi was talking about physical phenomena, the same types of processes are needed in human interactions. If you are not happy with the state of the world today, then you need to take steps to change it. And change occurs only one person at a time. Most people do not have the vision of Gandhi, nor the drive to try and accomplish a goal that will impact an entire country. And yet we all have visions on how the world should be and in particular, how we ourselves interact with the world. On an individual level, we can all make changes that will impact our lives. For example, if you want to weigh less, then eat less junk and exercise more. If you wish to write a book, then make sure to write a little bit each day. Don't ever expect something to happen without a catalyst. Here's another good example. Did you ever meet someone who says they want to meet new people, and yet never varies their schedule? That is me to a "T"! I work from home and only venture out to go to karate. How am I ever going to meet somebody new if I never vary my schedule? Thankfully, meeting somebody new doesn't rank very high on my things to do list. Most of what I want to do involves things around my house or on the internet. Anyway, those are just some examples of why you need catalysts to change anything in your life. What change do I want in my life? I'd like to crank out 2,500 push ups on my birthday in February, and I'd like to weigh in at 200 pounds even. At 200 I would be 25 pounds less than what I weighed in college. Meanwhile 2,500 push ups would equal 50 push ups for each year I have been alive. Hey, not everybody wants to change the world! To accomplish my goals, I need to lose weight and practice my push ups. While I have started on the diet end of things, I still rarely do more than 100 push ups a day. That will not get e to where I want to go in February! To achieve my goal, I will have to change my ways. So will I be the change I want to see in the world? No. But I will achieve a goal that I think is important. When I was younger, I never would have even imagined that I would be thinking of doing 2,500 push ups on my fiftieth birthday. Now, I am not only thinking about it, I am training for it. Be the change that you want to see. Inspiration and adrenaline... two things I seem to be full of tonight! Combined, they gave me enough motivation for a ten-minute bag workout. For new readers who don't understand this- I am a second degree black belt in kenpo karate. Part of training is bagwork, which consists of 3-5-10 minute drills. These drills are usually made up of knees, kicks and various punching styles. They are high adrenaline, nonstop, and amazing.
However, outside of karate, I am usually too lazy to do them on my own. Tonight was a different story. I had two full-caffeine cups of coffee today, which gave me energy to begin with. On top of that, I have been listening to cheerful and upbeat music all day... and finally, one of my friends annoyed me online. Rather than bitch fighting, which solves nothing; I excused myself for 10 minutes, went downstairs to my punching bag, blared heavy-metal music and dug into the bag. Not only did I use good technique, but I was quick and strong with it, too. I've been wanting to improve my fighting skills for a while now... maybe my friend annoying me is just what I needed! As for inspiration, I've been watching a lot of Youtube lately and discovered a few people who can rapid-fire kick bags. I want to be able to have this technique for bragging rights AND for fighting, so for one whole minute I just flicked my foot up and down on the bag. Once I get the speed and agility to do this, I will add power and truly perfect this new-found skill. Anyway- my tips for a good workout? Good music And... good motivation- be it from friends, family, or online videos. ~Maddie "If we did all of the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." That's a quote by Thomas Edison. Among other notable feats, he has a town named after him in New Jersey. His main competitor, Nicola Tesla, who in my opinion was much more brilliant, only has a car named after him. And most people don't even realize it! So what did Nicola Tesla invent? Alternating current, X-rays, remote control, radio, the electric motor, lasers, fluorescent bulbs, and wireless communications to name a few! Death rays and free energy as well, if you believe the rumors.
Well, although the quote was by Edison, it sounds like he was talking about his main rival Tesla! As it turns out, Edison became a household word and he became very rich in the process, while Tesla astounded everybody, but died penniless. Go figure! Still, I think Edison's quote is largely correct. When we put effort into our actions we can astound ourselves. The problem is nearly all people I know are not certain about what they are capable of, and don't have the drive to find out. That's a poor combination since it almost guarantees that you will go through life as an underachiever. Do you want to achieve your full capabilities? If so, then you have to create an opportunity to exceed. This is actually easier than it sounds. Think of something that you have wanted to do, but didn't think you could. Now, make a plan to take steps towards achieving it. Make each step small and easy to achieve. In other words make each step small enough so that you know you can do it. For instance, if I wanted to paint my house, the first step I would take is to make a list of everything I would need. Next I would save up the money I needed to buy those supplies. After doing that, I would choose the colors I want the paints to be. Then I would go out and buy the supplies...etc. etc. In other words, I would make each step small enough so that I knew I could accomplish them eventually. Maybe I would make the steps even smaller...such as buying the supplies necessary to paint one room. It all really depends on me. None of the steps should be so daunting that I find the project will be too daunting. Although my long-term goal is to paint the house, if that thought is overwhelming to me, then I need to focus on a smaller job at hand that will eventually LEAD to my larger goal. Bring your focus down to a smaller and smaller level until you know you can accomplish the goal that is set out before you. Then just focus on accomplishing that one goal. As you fulfill one small goal after another, you will be moving closer and closer to your larger goal. While we all might not be able to paint a masterpiece, we are all capable of a simple brushstroke. And isn't that what a masterpiece is? A series of interconnected brushstrokes? How bad do you want the outcome? How patient are you? Do you have what it takes? I think you do. You just need to plan for incremental advancement. If you are not sure what you are capable of, then make plans that allow you to break down the tasks necessary to points where you are capable of completing them. And by doing that, you will reach your full capabilities! Remember, every day is an opportunity to astound yourself! "Doubts kill more dreams than failure" is likely one of the more accurate quotes I have read in quite a while. How many dreams have you not pursued because you thought you wouldn't be able to pull it off? I know that there are many, many things I have put to the side because I doubted it would be right for me or that I'd be able to accomplish them. Why is it I wonder that we automatically expect a bad outcome?
Some of the best things in my life have actually happened because I took the initiative and actually started them. And yet, when I am faced with something new that would definitely benefit me if it panned out, I oftentimes put it to the side until I think about it a little more. The delay often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Oftentimes, a lack of confidence was the problem. Depending on what it was I wanted it might be a lack of confidence in my abilities or low self esteem that would hold me back. Why? I am talented at many things and learn quickly. Personality wise, I get along with most people and have very few enemies. While my bluntness occasionally puts people off, most times it doesn't. Even so, I still find that I have worries that things won't work out for whatever reason. All said, doubts are the killers of dreams. If you want to do something in your life...I mean really want to do it, then don't let doubts stop you. While I can't guarantee that everything will work out perfectly if you try (you may still fail), I can guarantee that it will never happen if you don't at least try. You can then add "If You Don't, You'll Find An Excuse!"The trick to life is to train yourself to get good at finding ways and never making excuses. The problem is, there is always a handy excuse. Have you ever found yourself saying "I can't do that!", "There is now way!", "I don't have the time..." or any of another thousand things that mean "No." Well, my advice to you is to stop! Stop making excuses and get your ass in gear!
We all have small goals that never seem to get done. We get mental blocks about them. I have them too. Well, here is a quick way to get through some of these little tasks. Take out 4 note cards and on each card write down five things that you want to accomplish, but that you have put off. It is okay if some of these things are BIG things too. Now that you have that done, take out some more cards! On the first card, mark down things that you can definitely get done in less than a day ( I like to make it done in a few hours, because let's be realistic, no one wants to spend an entire day doing one thing!). On a second card, list things you can do to make one of the larger projects smaller. Make each part small enough so that you can accomplish it in a couple of hours. Congratulations you now have "to do" lists. Each day, take one or two things from each list and do them. By the end of the week, the first list should be empty. The second list should have some of the things accomplished. Rewrite your lists for next week the same way. Some of the things from the second list may now be ready to move up to the first list. Some new things may have been added to each list too. That's okay! You want these lists to help you get things done. You WILL feel a sense of accomplishment as you see your list get whittled down each week. Don't worry if everything doesn't get done. Notice the progress...that is what is important. You are actually making progress towards your goals. Finally, and this is important, don't make excuses. Be happy with what you get done. If something isn't done, break it down into a smaller chore and put it on the list again. Don't say to yourself, "I didn't do this this week because...". If you didn't get to it, it is not a failure, it has just been put into next week's list, but a little higher on the list. Remember, these are things that you want to do. Thinking about it won't get it done. Making excuses won't get it done. Actually taking steps to get it done WILL get it that much closer to being done. I have made my lists. Have you? Let's get things done...together. |
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