Who am I? Who am I?
It's something I can ask myself all day I fit into so many contradicting categories Because I cannot just choose one way That would be silly, I'm constantly changing! In life, we are expected to make choices- Good and bad, black and white Which side are you on, what are your preferences There is no shade of grey, no purgatory between heaven and hell on Earth. I suppose I can't wear black and appreciate flowers, Because I don't dress the part I look harsh; therefore I am taken as harsh I cannot appreciate simple things. Fighting is not looked upon as an art. But on the other hand~ I can't dress in flowing dresses, and be able to defend myself I cannot get a tattoo and dress classy at the same time For they are two separate categories And I am expected to choose I am 14, and of course all these decisions likely seem silly Unimportant, because I am so young But even this young, in today's society I am expected to choose a category A category that has been branded by my own generation Am I a hipster, a hippy, an emo, a goth, a punk, a nerd Where do I fit? Do I like heavy metal or techno, or maybe rap, or pop, or classical? Do I prefer leather to lace, or do I like soft cotton? Stilettos, combat boots, sandals or sneakers Jeans or skirts Dresses or band tees In today's world, no trends can coincide You choose your style, and your preferences are supposed to fall into line Because no one expects someone with neon hair and a lip ring to sit in a music hall listening to symphonies Or you choose your preferences, and your style is assigned... because what metalhead would wear conservative and prude clothing Society has set expectations for preference and it bothers me Because now I'm confused I like so many things that seem to contradict the presets of society And I don't know where I belong So I drift where my personality takes me It just makes me feel odd Knowing that some will look at the length of my eyeliner And place me into one category Whereas others may see my tee-shirts and place me in another When I belong to no true category And only those who take the time to speak to me And get past whatever appearance I happen to take on any given day Will know who I really am. I know this post was disjointed and weird... but this is just a collection of my thoughts structured in a different way. It's late and I'm tired; and this is just what came out naturally. It's not really a poem; but not entirely a post either. You decide. Make what you will of it. My point is simple: appearance shouldn't define you and societies norms shouldn't shove you into preferences. Don't be mainstream. Think for yourself. Break the mold. -- Maddie
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I've been taking a class in sociology; and as the end of the class draws near... we discussed gender roles and the stereotyping that carries through in society. After learning about this; my class was given the question if we thought we "did gender" and conformed to the norms set for our gender; or completely challenged them. Answers to this question were posted in an online discussion forum, so I decided to read through some of the other posts before writing my own.
To my shock, so many girls were writing and saying that they often times found themselves conforming to their gender norms; and stating that "it's hard for people to not 'do gender'". I thought that statement really said a lot about our world today. It's rather appalling to me that so many girls who are close to my age found that stereotyping was so hard to avoid and hard to not conform to. I myself certainly challenge my gender norms- I'm tomboyish and I beat a 17 year old boy in a co-ed sparring division. I dress with my own style.. and it certainly doesn't conform to the typical feminine dressing norms. I wear jeans and t-shirts; and rarely ever wear dresses or skirts. I don't act feminine; either. I love rough housing, playing brutal video games, practicing karate, and going out in my woods for long periods of time. I don't mind trekking through mud up to my knees or getting a bit scraped up. On top of this... I curse like a sailor; courtesy of my dad. I truly believe that my dad has influenced my style (and how I think) dramatically; as I've been raised by him for essentially my whole life and have never really had a woman figure to look up to. He taught me to be myself, regardless of society... and to take the path less traveled by. Maybe this is why I don't "do gender". As for everyone else... don't let society tell you who to be; or what you can and can't do based on what gender you are. It's bullshit. Don't get stuck in a foolish stereotype. - Maddie Honestly, this post is going to be short too... Like most of my posts lately. I don't know why; but for some reason I've just run out of good things to talk about... Even when my dad tries to give me help through quotes and other inspiration, I can't seem to come up with anything.
Maybe it's a lack of motivation. Maybe it's a lack of deep thought. I don't know; but I honestly wish it would stop... I do enjoy writing, when I can actually write something meaningful. My dad considers this blog to be a thought journal; something he wants my sister and I to be able to look back on years later. He hopes that it'll give us some insight into how our minds were; and also that we can always have his stories, thoughts, and lessons. I love the idea of it; but I'm afraid that in a few years I will look back and be disappointed with my own lack of effort. I mean... I have a good post every once in awhile, but I truly feel that my calling is more to poetry. Poetry is my favorite thing to write because it allows me to channel deep within myself and pull out raw emotion and thoughts; something that I can't seem to do with normal writing. My mind goes very fast, so to be able to put my thoughts down on paper (or in my case, a screen) can prove quite difficult. Poetry doesn't run based off of thought. It is based entirely off of feeling (at least for me). I think I'd have much more understanding of my own mindset looking back on my poetry... Than j would looking back on any blog post I wrote. So maybe that's what this is. Not just a lack of motivation or a lack of deep thought; but too MUCH thought and no way of getting it out. What's your writers block? What do you do to stop it? Let me know in the comments. ~ Maddie I have a really nice hat that I like. It looks like a wolf's head. It is very warm and I wear
it when it is very cold. I wore it today, and it kept my head warm. Ashleigh I am wearing a nice top. It is pink with a black cat. It is wearing a collar of diamonds. It reads '' Cool cat- titude''. I am also wearing cat leggings in gray. Ashleigh |
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