"“There are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality.” That's a quote by Seneca. You say you don't know Seneca? For shame! Seneca was a tutor and adviser for Nero, way back during the Roman empire. He was forced to commit suicide after being found complicit in a plot to assassinate Nero. Was he guilty? Who really knows. I guess he found something that could both alarm and harm him!
Regardless of what happened to Seneca, I think his quote, for the most part, is spot on. I find that the things that really bother me and stress me out rarely do more than that. All of the worries that I have seem to be about what could happen, and not what has happened. At one point, I was worried that I was going to lose my house. My business was not doing well, and funds were getting short. All of the worry and stress was keeping me awake at night, and many of the solutions I came up with were either short sighted or too long-term oriented to be of any help. So what happened? I resigned myself to losing my house, thought out an exit strategy that wouldn't be too bad for me and my daughters, and then stopped worrying about it so much. (Yes, I still worried and felt bad... just not as bad as I had been feeling.) After resigning myself to my fate, I found a way out. Some of that way out included lucky things happening, but still I went from one small victory or coincidence to another until I finally worked myself out of my jam. Two years later, we still live in the same house, and I no longer have a mortgage on it! In accepting what I thought was inevitable, I stopped worrying about it as much, and in so doing made better decisions. Some of those decisions involved a bit of luck, but at the same time my mind was able to focus better and I could see different opportunities that I couldn't see earlier. Tonight, while reading Seneca's quote, I saw the wisdom in his observation. I suffered more from the apprehension of what I thought was going to happen, than I did from what actually happened. In hindsight, I can also look back and see that even if my worst fears were realized, I would have survived and eventually have been happy since the things that mean the most to me would have still been with me. I of course, mean my daughters, If ever you are alarmed about a potential outcome, please take a look at your fear. Ask yourself "What is the worst that can happen?" Once you can accept what the worst thing is, find ways to neutralize its impact on your happiness. Look for what really matters the most to you, and see if you can find a way to protect that, no matter what happens. With knowledge comes peace. Instead of focusing on what might be the worst. Think of ways that the worst may not really be anything else but change. The only constant is change. There is a bonus quote for you. Look it up and see who said it... although I think I may have discussed that quote once before anyway, so you can likely find the answer to that question right on this blog. Since change is constant, it makes sense that some of that change will be bad and some of it will be good. As long as its not fatal for you and yours, then you will survive and bounce back. Life goes on, and worries and fears will not work to make it any better. Thus, when you start to worry, think of Seneca and his insightful quote.
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