"Be Weird. Be Random. Be Who You Are. Because You Never Know Who Would Love The Person You Hide." Okay, so I found this quote on a poster (above) and I have no clue who said it. Given the picture of the cat, it was probably a hippy. And that's okay.
As I have gotten older, I have found more and more to like about the hippy movement. Make love not war? I'm all for it! Equal rights? Yep, nothing wrong with that either. How about: Leave things better than you found it? That works for me also! Okay, so after that last paragraph you might ask: Well, aren't things okay?" Yes, and that's the problem. Being "okay" is not the same as being happy. But okay is not bad enough for anyone to care either! "Okay" means just more of the same shit. Which brings me back to the original quote. Don't pretend to be something you are not, or someone who is really the opposite of your nature. I would think that this will only end badly. Remember, people are drawn to people who are similar to them. If you pretend to be someone you are not, you will likely attract someone who is very different than who you truly are. Meanwhile, if you always act as you truly are, you are more likely to attract someone who is really like you, and who will love you for who you are. Or, of course, you could attract someone who is pretending to be like you truly are, which could also be a problem. In the end, honesty is the best policy. Be who you are. Be open to meeting new people and listen to what they say. Sometimes, it is easier to see with your ears and your heart. If you honestly want your life to be real, then don't be an illusion to others.
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What is love? Everybody talks of it, but I believe only about a third of the population actually knows what it is. "Love is the beauty of the soul" seems to me to be a great definition. Many people base their idea of love on looks. While everyone can like someone for their looks, it isn't enough to base love on. Looks fade in time, for everyone (Except it seems for Christine Brinkley. She is now 61 and I saw a picture of her the other day in a bikini and I gotta tell you she is still one hot looking babe!). Everyone knows this is true, yet half the population seems to base who they date on their looks. I sometimes go on to Zoosk.com to check out the single women to see if there is anyone there that lives close by that I would like to date. Three things stand out to me. 1. There is a large number of women who say they won't respond to an email if they don't find you physically attractive. When I see this, I run for the hills. Not because I don't think I am attractive... for a fifty year old guy, I am ok. But because anyone who would outright say that in their paragraph that is supposed to be about themselves is just way too shallow for me. The second and third things I noticed are kind of related to each other too. I found that nearly every lady that has more than one picture of herself up, has at least one shot that I call the money shot. The money shot is the picture of the woman showing off her cleavage. When I am in the supermarket or the mall, I will occasionally see a woman with a lot of cleavage showing. Meanwhile, on Zoosk, nearly every woman has a shot where she is showing cleavage. It's almost as if they believe no one will message them if they don't show a little skin. The final thing that I noticed, and it ties in to the second thing a little bit, is that oftentimes the ones that are very attractive to look at, won't write anything about themselves on their post. I wonder if they are happy with the quality of men who contact them? I like to know something about the woman I date. You know, something about what they think or maybe what they like to do in their spare time... or if they even have spare time. Yet many of them write absolutely nothing! What kind of man are they trying to attract? I have no clue. And personally, I really don't care enough to find out. When I was young, I grew up on the Jersey shore, and there were a lot of pretty women walking around. And although I would hit on some of them, the girls I actually asked out on dates were the ones that I actually got to know a little bit. Looks just weren't enough for me then, and its really not enough for me now. My wife was very beautiful. We started dating when she was 23 and I was 33. Prior to dating, we had known each other a few months at Merrill Lynch. It wasn't until she read me some of her poetry that I truly fell head over heels in love with her though. Here is a picture of my wife and I on our wedding day. To me, she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Not because of how she looked, but because of her soul. When she recited her poetry to me, she opened up and shared a part of her soul with me. It washed over me and bathed me in her inner beauty. It is the beauty of her soul that I fell in love with that day. Any other form of love just won't work. Looks fade over time...conversation gets old...but the attachment to another's soul is something that just won't fade. Familial love is like that too. Your children have a piece of two souls. Their individual souls also carry a piece of each parents' as well. When that parent child love isn't there, it's a sign that maybe the love just wasn't really there for the parents to begin with. There are many reasons to get married. Some marry for money, some marry out of a sense of obligation. Others marry for convenience. There are numerous reasons to get married. And numerous reasons why some people will stay together for a lifetime even if that true soul-touching love isn't there. On the flip side, sometimes marriages break up...even if the couple truly has that soul deep love. They never stop loving each other. They just have to stop living together. The connection is still there. It just needs to be put to the side for whatever reason. If there is any advice I could give my daughters here, it is to wait for your soul mate. Don't fool yourself into love. Don't feel that you have to settle. The man that you fall in love with may not be the boy next door. He may not even live in the same state as you. My wife was originally from England. Surprisingly, many of my friends have married girls from foreign countries as well. Two hearts will find a way. Be open to what your heart tells you. And remember, looks fade! Don't settle for someone who just likes you for your looks. Don't settle just because YOU like someone's looks either. Wait for that spark before you say I do. Surround yourself with people who have the habits and lifestyle that you want for yourself. If you surround yourself with people who bring strife into your life, then it's likely that is what you are going to eventually settle with. Surround yourself with like souls, and there is a better chance that you will find a soulmate. |
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