Today I read a new book called ''The Happy Farm Animals.'' One day a happy farmer was going to feed all the animals. Then He had to go to a friend's house to celebrate his birthday. When he fed all the animals, he went out to celebrate his birthday. A few minutes later cow said ''Farmer Brown always feeds us, he always pet us, and most importantly he gives us everything we need.
Why don't we give him a birthday gift? Everyone agreed. The horses pulled the wagon, The cows made milk, The sheeps cut their wool, the turkey dressed up the table, and the hens laid eggs. The ducks made fluffy pillows out of their feathers. The dog wached the farmer's house, and the cat caught all of the mice. When The farmer came home everything was perfect.
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I don't think I have much explaining to do on this topic. I apologize if it hits close to home for some people; but my mom was an alcoholic and she passed away 3 years ago after many complications from her illness. With Christmas on the rise, I've been thinking about her more and more... so here are some quotes about alcoholism that I find to be incredibly true.
"Alcoholism: the disease that makes you too selfish to see the havoc you created and care about the people you shattered." "You cannot save everyone. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how much you try to help them." “A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can't predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before.” "Alcohol is basically for those who wish to be dead, yet lack the courage to kill themselves." "When you have a choice to make and don't make it, that is in itself a choice." "Sorry is not enough. Sometimes, you have to actually change." "Everyone tells you that the alcoholic will hit bottom. What they fail to tell you is that 'bottom' could be the bottom of a grave." "A mistake repeated more than once is a decision." "What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you." That is a quote by Richard Wilbur. Wilbur is an American poet and college professor who has won two Pulitzer Prizes for his poetry; one in 1957, and another in 1989. Unfortunately, I have never read any of Wilbur's work, although I plan to correct that error at some time in the near future.
To get back to Wilbur's quote, it really hits too close to home for me. In my mind, I need to modify it a bit though to really make it fit. "A lonely me, a dead you." The holidays have been a tough time for me over the past few years, and no matter what I do, it doesn't really change. I seem to be the type that can be lonely in a crowded room. I don't seem to be lonely due to a lack of people... I am more lonely due to a lack of people to share my heart with. I miss the closeness of knowing one person really well. So well, that I can say anything to them. That feeling is the main thing missing in my life right now, and at times it can make me sad. Sharon and I had our troubles, but we always had the ability to communicate with each other with just a look or touch. To know someone understands where you are coming from on all levels is a great comfort. It's a comfort that I find very hard to come by. Sure, I talk with people. Although I jokingly say I am a recluse at karate, due to the fact that I work from home, and rarely go out during the week accept to go for coffee or to workout at the dojo, I am not really a recluse. I can easily talk with most people and keep up my end of the conversation. What throws me off occasionally, is the why of the matter. Usually, I understand why a conversation is going in the direction that t is going, and whether it is something serious or just idle chit chat, I usually know what's what. It is those odd times when a conversation takes a step towards the bizarre where I really get lost and feel lonely (oddly enough). Something will be said, and I will feel like I should be getting some kind of connection from what was just said, and instead I get this feeling of confusion and nothingness. Those are moments that are best shared with someone you love. A look or a nod would be enough to let me know that I wasn't really the crazy one. Now, I hit that point, and I just feel like what happened was really weird and I have no clue what is going on and no way to really check to see WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! You know, the sad part is, that really isn't it. That seemed like a way to start to describe what I am missing, but it really isn't that. There just seems to be a really huge empty hole in me where my feelings used to reside that is now just an empty cavern. My thoughts go to where these feelings used to be and gets lost there. They wander for hours in a cavern of what was and what might have been. Memories can be a great comfort, but they can be a private hell as well. I guess what I am trying to say is that there is a type of loneliness that being around people really can't cure... and it happens a lot around the holidays. At least for me. Sometimes being busy can be a balm. At the same time, it can also be a scourge. I think at the holidays many people miss the power of two. I know I do. Today I read a new book called ''Magic Tree House: Dinosaurs Before Dark.'' One day, Annie was pretending the a monster was chasing her, and her brother Jack. Annie, and Jack ran into the woods to get away from the monster, and they found a tree house.There were lots of books in the tree house. Lots, and Lots of books. Some Books were dusty, and some were clean. Jack looked at one of the books about dinosaurs and pointed at it and said ''I wish I could see a Pteranodon. A moment later, the tree house began to spin. It spun faster, and faster. Then everything was still. When Jack looked out the tree house window, there were Dinosaurs everywhere!
They saw a Pteranodon, a Triceratops, an Anatosaurus, and a Tyrannosaurus Rex! They came down from the tree house! The Pternodon landed near them. Annie petted his soft fuzzy head. A Triceratops. then picked Annie up. A moment later, it put her down. They kept walking until Annie found baby Anatosauruses. Mommy was still around, so they avoided her. The mommy liked flowers, so Annie got her some to eat. When they finally went home they didn't tell anyone about what they did. Ashleigh Today is a very gray and rainy day where I live. I've been up in my room all day, both sleeping and writing and honestly, I lack motivation. I haven't done a post about happiness in a while, and I think it's long overdue. Everyone could use some motivation and good vibes for a rainy and dreary day. This being said, I've dug up some quotes about happiness from the corners of the internet that you've hopefully never heard before. Enjoy.
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson “It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” ― Chuck Palahniuk “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” ― Albert Camus “It's been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.” ― L.M. Montgomery “Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” ― Guillaume Apollinaire “Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.” ― Groucho Marx “Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt Last week, my Dad wrote a post based around a quote from Helen Keller. If you don't know who she is... go look her up. She's an incredible woman who became deaf and blind soon after birth, and who learned to speak, read using braille, and attained a bachelor's degree. This aside, she was also an activist for the disabled like herself and a phenomenal lecturer. Reading the quote my dad used inspired me to go find more quotes from her- and they truly inspired me. I wish to share this inspiration with you as well- so below are some of my favorite quotes that I found.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” “Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows.” “Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.” “The most pathetic person in the world is some one who has sight but no vision.” “The highest result of education is tolerance” “A bend in the road is not the end of the road…Unless you fail to make the turn.” “No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.” “Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain.” On Black Friday when many people were out binge shopping, and a couple of people were actually getting trampled to death, my daughter and I and her boyfriend Seth decided to go to the Shinedown/Five Finger Death Punch concert. Overall we made a great choice! AS LionThe night started out with a whimper. I think it was me waiting for the first band to get done! The first band up, AS Lion, seemed more like a bar band than an opening band at an arena. In fact, I would go so far as to say that they were the worst opening band I have seen in quite a while! The band is from England, and they really didn't seem to know how to get the crowd going. Their sound system was poor and the only thing I really heard clearly was the lead singer cursing a lot. About half way through their set, I actually started hoping that the lead singer would fall off the stage as he pranced dangerously close to the edge. Unfortunately, he never did, and we suffered through about a half an hour of their nonsense. They have a new album coming out next week. I think I'll skip that one! I think a better name for this band would be Ass Lyin! Sixx A.M.The next band up was Sixx A.M., a group led by Nikki Sixx, the original bassist for Motley Crue. These guys put on a great show, and had the crowd out of their seats early. At one point, the whole arena was lit up with cell phones and lighters as the band sang their biggest hit, Life Is Beautiful. The group has a good stage presence, and rock hard, but at this point only make as a good opening band. I just don't think they have enough solid hits under their belt to be a main headliner yet. ShinedownShinedown put on the set of the night! These guys came out and rocked hard. They have a large number of hits, and they played all of them! I had heard from a number of people that they put on a good show, so I had high expectations. And the band far exceeded them. Although I am a big fan of Five Finger Death Punch, I thought they would have a tough time beating Shinedown's performance... and I was right! Unfortunately, the lead singer for Five Finger Death Punch was very distraught. He had just found out that his mother had died that evening and he was waiting for a plane home. Amazingly, he came out and tried to sing a few songs. The band did a short set and then called it an evening. I give him a lot of credit even coming out on stage after hearing that news. I have seen Five Finger Death Punch in the past, and I know they put on a great show. My condolences to Ivan and his family. Below, are two pictures of Five Finger Death Punch, and then three more from Shinedown. The large picture that opened this blog post is also a picture of Shinedown. For the record, My favorite song of the evening was Simple Man by Shinedown. They did a great job with the old Lynyrd Skynyrd classic. At one point, they had the whole arena singing the chorus and it sounded awesome. All of those people (myself included) connecting with the band on that one song really was something to experience!
Two other songs worth mentioning were Life Is Beautiful by Sixx A.M. (The crowd also tried to sing this one, but it seemed to have a little less feeling behind it) and Cut The Cord by Shinedown. I have short clips up on my Facebook page of Simple Man and Life Is Beautiful, so if you have nothing to do, go to my page. Just search Wayne Nef (I live in New Hampshire, just in case there is more than one person with my name). Enjoy! One day Daddy and I went hiking. We where just turning around when I saw one of my friends heading our way. Hi I yelled speeding toward them. My friend looked at me and ran over. ''Hi'' she said what are you doing here?
''We are hiking'' I said. You are? said my friend. Yes! Then you would be interested in what we are doing. Really? Yes, it's a cave filled with gold bricks. Okay I'm in I said. So, when we found the cave it was exactly what a real cave looked like! And, at the end of the cave there where gold bricks. So then I thanked my friend and went home. It was the best day of my life. Ashleigh While everyone pushed each other about for the best deals this Black Friday, I ended up at a concert with my Dad and boyfriend. AS Lions, Sixx AM, Shinedown, and FFDP were playing at the DCU Center in Worcester.
I won't include pictures in my post- I'll let my Dad have them for his. It's not like they'd be much different anyway, since I only got a couple of each group. I'd rather take a little time and give you a review of each of the bands. AS Lions is a small band from the UK that's just starting out, and it was easy to see. They were the first group of the night that played and they were HORRIBLE. I have never had such bad second-hand embarrassment for someone. The group tried too hard, and failed to get the crowd moving well- and I'm pretty sure everyone wanted the lead singer to fall off of the stage more than they wanted to hear the next song. All in all? A horrible band who managed to dampen the atmosphere of what could've been a great start to a night. Thankfully, Sixx AM came on directly after and put on an amazing show. While they didn't get as much applause as they should've for their first few songs due to the audience still being in a sour mood from the last band, by the end of their set they had everyone livened up and ready for Shinedown. Sixx AM is a great band in my opinion and I'd recommend them to any rock/metal fan. After that, Shinedown came out and performed and really got the crowd moving. While a good portion of their performance did happen to be talking, the songs they did do were full of emotion and coupled with amazing pyrotechnics. My favorite song done by them was Cut The Cord, followed closely by Simple Man. In both of these songs, the lead singer turned the mic to the audience and had the whole arena singing the chorus in unison. It was truly something to experience. I had heard plenty of good things about Shinedown's live performances prior to seeing them; and I must say that they blew away all expectations I had, surpassing them in a heartbeat. They were the best show of the night and I'd recommend seeing them to anyone, honestly. Finally, Five Finger Death Punch came out... but unfortunately, could not perform much. I don't hold it against the band at all- the lead singer's mother had just passed and the singer had only just found out. He was waiting to catch a plane home and after telling the audience this, the whole arena told him to go home. To his credit, he came out and performed a few songs and then let his drummer finish off with a solo. Having seen FFDP before, I can tell you that they put on an amazing show so despite the misfortune, I would recommend seeing them as well. - maddie On Thanksgiving I helped my Grandma clean. I helped her clean the cabinets, and the empty aquarium. I also helped her clean the chairs in the dining room.
On Thanksgiving we had turkey for dinner. We ate baked clams for an appetizer, and pizza for a little snack. For dessert, we had apple pie and ice cream! We finished the day with a movie after dinner. Ashleigh "Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." That is a quote by Helen Keller. For those of you who have been living under a rock, Helen was a deaf and blind women born in 1880, who became the first deaf and blind person to earn a college degree. Her life story is truly amazing and should be read by everyone, in my opinion.
If anyone has the right to talk about hope, it was Helen. She was born in rural Alabama and at the age of 19 months contracted an illness that left her deaf, mute, and blind. At the age of seven, her parents brought her to the Perkins Institute for the Blind, where she met Anne Sullivan, a visually impaired student who became Helen's teacher. After many months, she had a breakthrough with Helen that helped to change her life forever. If you are interested in the story, you can watch the film "The Miracle Worker" which tells Anne's story about working with Helen. Over time, Helen learned to sign, read braille, and even speak. In her later years, she became a prolific author and an activist for many causes. After learning to speak, she became a prolific lecturer as well. Imagine, through all of that adversity, she kept a sense of hope and optimism. Not only that, she put her education to good use trying to help people with similar disabilities, as well as for political causes she believed in. Note that Helen was a pacifist and opposed Woodrow Wilson's policies in domestically, in Europe and in Latin America.. About Woodrow Wilson she stated: ""Could it be that we don't want to think badly of Woodrow Wilson... We don't want complicated icons. "People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions, and conclusions are not always pleasant."" It is hard for me to imagine being blind and deaf and still being able to learn how to speak and write, let alone doing so as eloquently as Helen did. On top of that, she had the empathy to stand up for and fight for people with similar disabilities. On this day of thanks giving, I find I am thankful for people like Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan who use what God has given them to the best of their abilities. They prove that hope and optimism can go a long way towards helping people. In the end, Helen lived her beliefs and fought for them nonviolently, Isn't that something we can all aspire to? "Silence is the most powerful scream." I read this anonymous quote while looking for something to write about this evening. It reminded me of a poem I wrote to include in Sharon's book of poems. Sharon was a beautiful writer, and she left a large number of poems behind. On her death bed, I promised her that I would publish her poems. It took a while to gather all of the poems and get them ready for publishing, but they are finally ready. I have included a couple of my poems in the book, as well as one by Maddie. With any luck, the book will be ready to be published on Amazon for Christmas. The book is called "Butterfly Screams." Below, is one of the poems I wrote for the book, that the quote above reminded me of. Enjoy! Scream In Silence
I scream in silence, So my loved ones will not hear, I cry inside, So my eyes won’t shed a tear. I live my life, With a heart that’s broken bad. I have no emotions Except one… and that is sad. I do my best To get on with living life, But God knows How much I miss my wife. I scream in silence, And carry on like nothing’s wrong, I sing the lyrics, Though I really don’t like the song, Living life without you, Brings me unending pain, No one can see though, I’m like a tear drop in the rain. 6/26/14 With Thanksgiving just tomorrow, there is a good amount of stress surging through my house. Even though there is literally no one coming over, the house is abuzz with cleaning, baking, and unfortunately, arguments. These arguments are getting started over the stupidest shit, too- such as windows being cleaned or how many apples are going into a pie. It's ridiculous and I'm getting quite tired of it. In honor of this- here are some quotes about stress (and why you should avoid it, particularly over small things.)
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” “I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” “Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is... The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds. ” “If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.” “Stress is the trash of modern life-we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.” "You cannot free someone who is caged in their own self." "In order for you to live life like it is golden, you must love the life you are living." Today I read a new book called ''Magic Tree House Twister on Tuesday.'' One day in Frog Creek Pennsylvania a tree house appeared in the woods. But Eight-year-old Jack and his seven-year-old-sister Annie discovered it before anyone else did. They found out that it was magic and it belonged to Morgan le Fay. They also found out that they needed Four special kinds of writing for Morgan.
Because she was a librarian. So Jack and Annie went through time and made three friends along the way. There names where Jeb, Will, and Kate. They also got to see a Twister and some hail. So when they got home and found the writings that Morgan needed they had the best day ever. Ashleigh I'm still a bit down in the dumps today, but I don't want to just drown you all in my misery. However, I'm not going to throw up a mask and act fine when I'm not. The solution I've decided upon is quotes about empathy. I am an incredibly empathetic person- to the point that my empathy is a fatal flaw. I am forgiving to a fault and it's gotten me into bad situations before. I think I'm one of those rare cases where my strength is also my weakness... because my deep compassion and feeling for others is what drives my empathy and I do consider it to be a strength just as much as a weakness; and if not a weakness, an inconvenience.
“For there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.” “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” "To perceive is to suffer." “Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.” "Help someone, you earn a friend. Help someone too much, you make an enemy." "No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care." “Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of these senses; most people don't know anything about the inner senses while a few people rely on them just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more.” "An absence of tears is not the same as an absence of feeling." Okay, so this is a bastardized quote by me! It is bastardized because the quote I was looking at was: "But the absence of tears wasn't the same as an absence of feeling." They are very close, so I will give credit to Lisa Kleypas for this one. Lisa is a best-selling author of romance novels. I have never read any of her work, it is not really a genre I follow. Even so, her quote inspired my thought.
The above quote sort of fits my mood over the past few days. This mood hits me every once in a while, particularly around the holidays. It's a feeling of not really sadness but emptiness. For me, absence is as much an emotional state as sad or happy. In fact, absence to me is like the lack of any real emotion. I am not happy, sad, satisfied, or unsatisfied. I'm not angry, frustrated, optimistic, or pessimistic. In fact, it just seems that everything is gray. Nothing is good enough or bad enough to elicit a response. Three things seem to drive this feeling in me. First and foremost, things that remind me about my wife. Sometimes, I just can't seem to get past that she is dead and that I won't be seeing her again. I'll hear something that reminds me of her, or smell something. Sometimes it's just a memory or something that I remember seeing with her. The holidays also seem to drive this feeling in me. At times, I feel joyless and just want to hide. I want my daughters to enjoy the holidays and have a good time... and I try to make sure they do so. But oftentimes, underneath my veneer of mirth and joy, I feel empty. It is far worse than feeling sad. Finally, the last thing that makes me feel absence is when I am not actively working towards my goals. Oftentimes, I will bury myself with projects when I am in absence mode to keep myself too busy to think. I will work on a number of goals all at once so that no one feels neglected or excluded. It's at these times that I need everyone I love to be involved for at least a little while each week. Time to spend with my family helps me to slowly kill the absence that I feel inside. Things to do, memories to make... Talks of inconsequential things, all of these are some of my favorite things! Am I nuts? Who knows. Do you experience the emotion I call absence? If so, how do you beat it? Leave me a comment if you have any ideas, because it really does suck. Flamingos' feathers can be bright orange, rose red, or brilliant pink. All flamingos have very long legs. With there long legs, they look like there walking on stilts. Flamingos live near lakes, and lagoons. They eat shrimp, snails, and algae.
If a Flamingo eats a piece of food that is pink. It's normal color also changes to pink. A flamingo can go deep in the water to get food. But if the water gets too deep, it will swim. Ashleigh The holiday season has begun, and with it- my "seasonal depression". Most people love the holidays and get cheerful and over-zealous, while others get stressed about literally everything. As for me? I just get very... quiet. I don't like snow, I don't like Thanksgiving, and in particular I do not like Christmas. I know this sounds like a depressing post, but I really need to let this out and I blog about what's on my mind and this is it today.
Don't get me wrong, when I was younger I loved Christmas. It once was a happy holiday for me, filled with joy and giving and caring... and to some extent it still is. I just have very bad memories from a few years ago of stress and pain that make it very hard for me to be jolly. I think that a lot of my sadness surrounds my mom. She used to be a big part of the holidays for me; and when all the trouble began... things lost their enjoyment. The holidays became a time of stress and nervousness for me because I became scared that we wouldn't be able to make it through a holiday without something going wrong. It's sad, but true. After my mom passed away, all that was left to fill the place she filled were bad memories and grief. It sucks, but I really do not have many good or happy memories of my mom and I hate it. I hate having to remember pain when I try to think of someone who impacted my life so much. “But the memories that hang heaviest are the easiest to recall. They hold in their creases the ability to change one's life, organically, forever. Even when you shake them out, they've left permanent wrinkles in the fabric of your soul.” “Tears are handy for washing away troubling and sad feelings. But when you grow up, you'll learn that there are things so sad, they can never be washed away by tears. That there are painful memories that should never be washed away. So people who are truly strong laugh when they want to cry. They endure all of the pain and sorrow while laughing with everybody else.” “The moment we accept our pain is the moment we release our suffering. Suffering is created when we offer life resistance, and what we resist most are the experiences that bring us pain.” “The most painful moments and memories eventually lead to the greatest strengths and growth in life.” “Remembrance is a strange thing. With love its pain is bearable. With bitterness it simply destroys.” "Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor." That's a quote by my favorite poet, Robert Frost. Frost had a way of looking at the world that made you stop and think. Many of his poems, at first, make you think he is writing about the most inconsequential of things. If you thought this, you would be right... at least on the surface.
Many of Frost's poems would seem to be about small everyday things. Yet it was the meaning that he saw in these things, and his ability to make you see these meanings that make Frost's poems so compelling and haunting. One poem that comes to mind where you can see this in action is with the poem "The Exposed Nest." The poem is about a farmer who is usually very jocular, who is found out in a field trying to place hay in such a way so that it is standing up. His friend finds that this isn't one of the farmer's typical jokes, though. While mowing the field, the farmer accidentally exposed a bird's nest with some young birds in it. He builds the shelter in the hopes that it will give them some relief from the exposure of the sun and some cover from their enemies. He then notes that after doing this, the farmer then never checks on the birds again. To me it seems like the farmer really didn't care about the birds per se, but was instead trying to assuage his own guilt about what was likely to happen to the birds. The birds in the nest were too young to fly away, and without the shelter and the cover of the long grass were likely going to die. The farmer felt bad about this, but not bad enough to take them to his barn and nurse them until they were strong enough to fly away. The truth of the matter was that these young birds were likely going to die now. The farmer did not want to face this truth though, so he built the shelter to at least be able to say to himself that he gave them a fighting chance. He never checked on them again, because he didn't want to ever check on the truth of the matter. To bring this discussion back to the original quote, the change that we see is that these young birds that had the promise of life, were now likely going to die... either from exposure or from a predator. The reality of this change in fortune did not sit well with the farmer, and he felt guilty about it since in effect his reaping had brought this change of fortune about for the young birds (I guess you could say he was the grim reaper). Frost shows that the farmer is aware of what he has done, but doesn't really want to just leave the birds to their fate, and thus he is found building the screen. By not returning to the nest the next day, it seems he doesn't really want to confirm that his actions led to the bird's deaths, but would rather go along with the thought that his subsequent action may have saved the birds, Without checking, he'll never know, and thus it softens the blow to his psyche from his accidental deed. Is this the correct meaning of this poem? I don't know. Some people believe the poem is about a father finding his child in a field trying to help the birds. While this theory makes sense for most of the poem, it loses its potency once he mentions that the person never goes back to check on the birds. Most children I know would do so. Not only that, they would continue to go back and check on the birds until they were no longer there. Most children would return with worms and bugs to toss to the birds to make sure they wouldn't starve. This definitely is not the case in the poem, and thus it leaves me to believe that it is the farmer who spies his mistake and tries to assuage his guilt. In the end, the only constant is change. Changes do occur. In fact, they happen regularly. Truths remain truths, whether we choose to believe them or not. For me, my daughters will always be my little girls... even when they are grown women. My eldest daughter is now 15. When I look at her, I see her, but I still see the little girl who used to hold my hand and reveled in the stories I used to make up on the fly and tell her on long car trips. For Ashleigh, she is now six, and still holds my hand. When I look at her I can see that, but I also see the small little bundle that slept in a cradle next to my desk while I worked, or stood in the playpen at the front of the dojo while I took my karate classes. The changes occur, yet we will always see the truths that live in our hearts. ""Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute." That is quote by Edgar Allen Poe... In fact, Maddie used this quote in one of her blog posts earlier today. I wanted to touch upon this quote because I think he got it wrong. Not wrong exactly, but just not quite right.
Years of love can be forgotten in a minute, but I don't think it is driven by hatred. Instead, I think it can be driven by hurt, sorrow, despair, misunderstanding and fear. You see, I've seen it happen, and I know that while it can and does happen, that the love can still be remembered again and acted upon. My wife's illness once drove a wedge between me and her as well as with others in the family as well. Sharon's disease was complex, and difficult for an adult to understand let alone a child. Although her actions hurt her, and ultimately killed her, her action's also hurt other family members. We couldn't understand what made her drink, and her actions and the lies surrounding them definitely led to anger, pain and sorrow. At some points, those emotions would rise up and obscure the love that Sharon had for all of us. It sometimes blinded me to the pain that Sharon was in and the pain that our reactions had on her. You see, the pain worked both ways. We were hurting from her actions and the stress and emotions they brought out in us, and while we witnessed the physical pain her addictions were causing her. The emotional turmoil it was causing her was often overshadowed by our feelings about what was happening to our family. Resentment and anger would come to the forefront and become hard to overcome. Sometimes to the point where it obscured the years of love that were there hiding just beneath the surface. The love was being obscured by the pain that we were all feeling. Anger, and frustration would, at times, seep to the surface, and the years of love were forgotten for a time. To be honest, I think the emotional pain and suffering was felt by all. None of us were immune to its effects. We all suffered our own private hell. What times takes away, it can also heal. I think with closure, memory comes back. At first in trickles and small rivulets, finally in a torrent. While not all memories return, I think enough good ones come back to remind us that love was there, and that it can, with time, overcome despair, anger and sorrow. In the end, years of love cannot be forgotten. Obscured for a short time? Yes. But forgotten completely? I don't think so. In fact, I know so. So don't despair. No matter how much true love can be obscured and forgotten, with time the long years of love will be remembered... and bring comfort. |
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