"A tongue has no bones; yet it can crush a person's being. Be careful what you say to people."8/11/2015 This quote is one that I think everyone could do to read and take a lesson from, at least once if not more in their lives. Too often, people don't think before they speak in general... and it's even worse when they're talking to another person and don't realize the hurtful things they're saying. I'm sure I've done it to my friends before; and I've seen my friends do it unknowingly to one another. I'm relatively close to most of my friends, and so I know all of their insecurities. I therefore try to avoid making fun of them for it and try to not bring it up in conversations. However, others don't know... and when they do unknowingly make fun of the insecurity in front of the friend, I feel really bad because I see the pain in their face that they try to cover with a smile.
Sometimes, even the smallest thing can make a person feel like absolute shit or kill their day completely. A leading example of this is parents. Most parents have NO idea what their kids' insecurities are, and they run them over like trains on a track almost every day. Parents love to blame society and self-pity and being too self-centered on their kids' depression, and others deny the fact that their child is even depressed (even though the signs are clearly there). How many of them stop a think that they may be the cause of it? Imagine having an open wound, and every day having salt pinched into it? Because when a parent unknowingly tramples over a large insecurity for a child... that's what it feels like. You guys do it unknowingly, but to us... it seems so obvious and it makes us feel neglected; like you don't pay enough attention to us to see what's right in front of you. Like you don't care enough to pay attention to what upsets us. May I give a good example? I'm extremely self-conscious as it is; both about my body and my face. I try not to venture out of the house without makeup on and I have a hard time deciding what to wear every day because I feel that 95% of the clothing I wear makes me look fat. My dad and grandmother constantly ask me why I feel like I do.... but 30 minutes later are bashing me for the style I do my makeup or my weight, telling me to drop insane amounts of weight or that my legs are too chubby, etc. etc. You think I don't realize this? You think I don't try or lack the fucking brains to realize I need to lose weight? NO! I do try... and it's hard. But it's even harder when family members are dragging you down unknowingly and beating your issues even further into you... like some sick kind of reminder that you're flawed. I KNOW that no one enjoys being picked on, OR hit where it hurts. Another example? I was once told that "all I do is make my family miserable". While these words were said out of pure anger, and I realize this... they still ring in the back of my head to this day. Hell, I'm tearing up right now just typing about it... it affected me quite deeply. It hurts because I try to smooth things over with my family. I try to keep people happy. It just doesn't always work out that way... so please forgive me if I have ONE bad day every now and again. People honestly don't think before they speak. Even family. And the ones who advise us to think before we speak... they really shouldn't say it in such a harsh manner if they can't follow it themselves. Moral: don't say things without speaking. Maddie
1 Comment
Dad
8/10/2015 12:47:57 pm
Hello Maddie, I really think you need to do a reality check here. Or more likely an honesty check. Think about what you said in your post, and then think about your actions this weekend. It is hard to put the two together and come up with a consistent narrative. Yes, sometimes I will give you some advice, and I will say it bluntly. It is not picking on you. It is more of a warning. In this world there are many possible outcomes, Some negative outcomes can be avoided. Some can't. Make sure you know the difference. Don't kid yourself about your actions either. Remember, the worst thing you can do is lie to yourself.
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