I am going to be taking swimming lessons. It is going to be fun! I will need to wear a
swimsuit. It is in a big pool in New Ipswich. I am very excited! I can't wait for it to start. Ashleigh
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Is there any way to excuse the inexcusable? I don't think so. Sometimes things happen that are just not excusable. How do you know what those things are? It's when they still bother you nearly two years after they first happened.
Two years ago, the most horrific thing that ever happened in my life occurred. Friends both near and wide, came to console me. My Mom,sister and brother in law, all came to help out as best they could. Maddie's Godfather, a good friend of mine, drove seven hours from Buffalo to console us. And yet, not a single person from my own family (other than those mentioned) came to share my sorrow. That says a lot. Some were too ill to come... and I honestly understand that. Children with severe allergies, I understand that too. I have a dog and my part of New Hampshire is extremely rural. Neither makes for an ideal setting for children with severe allergies. Some of my extended family didn't find out what happened until after the fact. I understand that also. Sometimes the family grapevine doesn't work efficiently. These people spoke with me after the fact, and I totally understand. It has happened to me in the past as well. The ones that bother me, are the ones that knew, and were healthy, yet did nothing. I have run into these people since that day...and did not mention my feelings. Neither did they. I don't think I ever will. Personally, it isn't worth it. And still, as the anniversary of my wife's death rolls around again, I can't help but feel sadness. Sadness for losing her, sadness for my daughters, growing up without a Mom to share girl things with, and sadness for the hole in my heart where my sense of family used to reside. Excuse the inexcusable? I don't think so. At this point, two years later, I am still trying to just overlook it. I don't think of this stuff every day. In fact, I rarely think of it. But when the anniversary of Sharon's death rolls around, I think of her a lot, and inevitably, my thoughts drift back to the support I received during that time frame. I once read a quote that said "Friends are the new family." While I always thought that that statement was pure claptrap, I was horrified to find that there was likely more truth to that statement than I ever imagined! Excuse the inexcusable? Maybe next year. "Don't complain about things you're not willing to change." This quote says a lot! So many people go through life complaining about things that they have total control over as if they have no choice in the matter. Here are a couple of examples:
"I hate my job!" Okay, so you hate your job...then change it! There are a lot of things you can do other than make yourself miserable every day by going where you don't want to go. When you point this out to people, they usually look at you and say "well, I have been there so long I won't get the same money elsewhere." This might be true if you stay in the same field. But nothing says you have to stay in the same field. If you hate what you are doing, just changing your location likely won't make you any happier. Get off your fat ass and go back to school, or a trade school and get new training...hopefully in a field where you can make more money. If you are not willing to take steps to make changes, then don't complain to me about it because, frankly, I have better things to do than listen to you complain! Another one I hear a lot is "I hate this area. I would move in a heart beat!" Oh yeah, then why don't you move? "Well, I wouldn't have a job." or "Well, my whole family lives around here." If that is the case, then why do you hate this area? And you're right, there are no $10 an hour jobs anywhere else in the United States...or the world for that matter, so you better stay here where you "hate" it. Others I hear include: "I have no friends." (then why are you talking to me), "I am in debt." (as they sit sipping a $5 drink from Starbucks), "No one understands me." (As they sit there sullenly). Ask any of these people "Why?" and they will tell you "I don't know." But really they do know. They don't want to tell you, but they do know what the basis of all of their troubles are. It is a great resistance to change. They want others to change for them. Amuse me! They don't want to take the steps necessary to change their own situations. Think people! If you have a problem, it CAN be solved. You just have to think about what the answer would be for you, and then take the steps to implement the changes. Some people feel overwhelmed because to get to the life they want, they would have to make tremendous changes. Well, nothing comes for free baby... and a journey of a thousand miles always starts with a single step! If you are one of those people who need lots of changes to live the life you want, then start today. Map out what you want, and then plan a number of little steps that will get you closer to your goal. Then each day, take one of those little steps. Your life can change for the better! You just need to know how you want to change it. Then set a plan...and finally, the most important part, takes steps to follow through on the plan! Complaining wastes your time and mine. Do something with your life. Start the changes today. If you are not willing to do that...Then at least shut up so that we all don't have to listen to how miserable you are. Ok. As you have have guessed from the title... this post is a bit of a clarification for my Dad. I got left alone for a bit, and I thought I was going to have some time. So, I did what any normal person does- I blasted my music in the kitchen, preheated the oven, and began to make a cake for my family. I knew I didn't have karate class today, so I figured I would have plenty of time and that it would be a nice surprise that I'd have plenty of time to finish, given I had about an hour.
However, I decided to start by making the frosting first while the oven preheated- something I rarely do. I figured, however, that it would be easier for the icing to thicken while I made the cake (since I had to use completely melted butter in the recipe). This strategy SEEMED to be going fine... the oven was preheating, the song 'Nerds and Cigarettes' by Picture Me Broken was playing loudly, and the icing was mixing itself on the counter while I washed the dishes... when I heard it. The car pulling into the driveway. Side note about this story- the icing recipe I was using (which I believe I've shared on this blog before) required cocoa powder. A lot of it. And me, being the spaz that I am, attempted to pour the cocoa powder into the measuring cup directly from the box, rather than using a spoon like anyone else would have. Well, long story short- what was meant to be 1/3 of a cup of cocoa powder turned out to be a whole frickin' BOX of cocoa powder, all over the kitchen floor. So, in the time I COULD have probably had the frosting made in, I spent cleaning the floor, vacuuming, and beating the rug outside on the front porch to exhume the cocoa powder from it. Needless to say, all was cleaned up- but I then had to explain to my grandma (who had gone to the store but came home early due to feeling ill) why there was icing being made and why the oven was on. She was thankfully very happy I was making something since I hadn't in awhile, and I didn't get in trouble. And THAT is the story. Of how I am now sitting here eating tortilla chips and writing this post, with only this, my poem, and a bit of the Earth paper finished. Don't kill me please. Maddie Oh my gosh... so many people need to read this and NEVER FORGET IT. I cannot tell you how many times I've had stupid arguments with my friends that have just gotten bigger and nastier because one of us refuses to apologize. I hate to be that person... but most of the time, it's my friends who refuse to apologize or just give in. In fact, I often try to apologize as soon as I see that it could permanently hinder our friendship... in fact, I apologize regardless! Often times, my friends will accept the apology and then we go back to being close... but a few times, I've been told to simply "f*ck off" among other things when I apologize.
Like dang! Relax! This quote really says it all- it IS the massive ego that makes it hard to admit that you're wrong. I think that's everyone's issue: they fight and fight and press their case, and then in the middle realize that they're actually quite wrong. This has happened to me a few times, and it sucks... but I admit my fault and apologize and move on. For most, this is impossible- they'd much rather whine and carry on childishly to "solve" their problem. No. This isn't mature... carrying on about pointless rubbish that could have easily been solved by toning down your massive frickin' ego is childish, immature, and stupid; to be honest. No one is going to criticise you for apologizing... it's doing the right thing. No one is going to disrespect you. So please... the next time you fight with a good friend, please think about your FRIENDSHIP and not your gigantic ego. Maddie I like to learn about dinosaurs . There are many different kinds of dinosaurs. Some were
very big. And some were small. My favorite type of dinosaur was the Brontosaurus . Just like Littlefoot! Ashleigh "If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me." I made those beautiful words by Led Zeppelin part of my wedding vow to Sharon. I meant them when I said them. And yet, before my wife passed away, I had divorced her. Did this mean I didn't love her? At first Sharon thought so (although this wasn't the case). Soon after we separated, and were in the process of getting a divorce she wrote a poem where she stated: "Promises, Promises, The vows, the lies you made, Before God you once stood, But now, the black and white fade" We got the divorce to protect the children. I still loved Sharon, but her behavior was starting to have an impact on Maddie and her blackouts and drinking to the point of unconsciousness was a very real danger for Ashleigh. But I digress, I wanted to write about my vow and how my actions did not break those sentiments. To start, love has no boundaries. You do not need to be right next to someone to love them. Whether a person's next to me, or across the country, I still have the ability to love them. Whether someone lives with me...or not, I can love them.
Although mountains have not crumbled to the sea, there is still she and me. I see her in my daughters every day as they go about their lives. I hear her when they speak to me. There is a little part of each of us in both of our daughters. Although Sharon has died, there will always be a part of her that lives on, through our children and theirs and so on until our bloodline ends. Will it be until mountains crumble to the sea? I hope so. The vow that bothers me... the one I may have inadvertently broke, is the whole in sickness and in health thing. I have thought about this a lot over the past couple of years. On the surface, it would seem that I broke this part of my vow... to stay with Sharon through sickness and in health. Like an iceberg, though, there is more to this vow than just what you see on the surface. By having children together, Sharon and I took on the responsibility to raise our children and keep them safe. When Sharon got too sick (addicted), and became a danger to our children, we still had our joint responsibility to keep our children safe. Since Sharon could no longer do that, the responsibility fell to me to do what was right for the both of us so that we could fulfill our responsibilities. I believe I have done that, and will continue to do that, as I promised my wife. Sometimes life leaves us no "good" choices. In those instances, we need to pick the choice that will do the most good, and not just the choice that is most convenient, or easy for us. "If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me." I meant it when I said it Babe, and it still holds true now. Rest in peace. Oh my goshhhh. I think this quote is something that everyone in the world needs to hear. No matter who you are or what your situation is, we've all had something happen in life that we need to move on from or get over and some of us have a hard time doing it. I understand the struggle of doing it completely- my mom died 2 years ago and I'm still depressed about it right now. The pain of something like that... it never leaves. Ever. A little piece of that is going to be with you for the rest of your life, just as the person is, and there is nothing you can do to escape that.
However, that doesn't mean you should let sadness dominate your life forever. Yes, while things are initially going on, you're going to be upset... but you need to move on. I've managed to move on from my mom's death (for the most part) and I'd like to share the advice I followed myself that helped me a lot. This advice can be applied to most situations. Only a few are directed towards people who are dealing solely with the pain of losing someone.
I hope this post helped you... or anyone you may know. Maddie I've been told that I write some of my best poetry when I get upset. Here's what I had for tonight.
Please enjoy. ~Maddie I'm sick of pretending To be what I'm not A painful smile on my face, With tears caught in my throat The struggle to smile Becomes harder each day When you keep fighting your mind, Trying to force the pain away Something once lost Will never return And if it leaves for too long, The wound behind starts to burn The pain is unbearable But still I turn away Trying to be happy, Since I'm forced to stay This life is close to hell Since you left me behind Now I struggle to function And fall victim to my mind You who once used to teach me Who taught me to live Have run out of life, And have nothing more to give Now I smile and I laugh But it's all a facade I leave hurt behind In the Earth that I trod I seem to be losing My close friends each day I have no patience for people So I let them slide away The bridges all burning My life caving in I'm still just a child, You'd think life was just to begin But a burden so heavy Forces premature growth Over mental capacity, No room left to cope And the worst of it all Is that no one understands I have no one to turn to, To keep my life in their hands Not many understand Just how hard it can be To lose your own mother, To watch, know and see As one thing turns to another And the cycle continues My love for her grows Replenishes, renews And while I know I can't see her yet I know that she's here I dream of the day When I can once again hold her near But for now, life goes on And I live it each day Try to find happiness In every new way One day I'll find it I know that I will And then perhaps, No more tears I shall spill. I like monster high dolls. They are fun to play with. They look like real monsters, but
they are not. My favorites are Howleen and Clawdeen Wolf. I also like Draculara and Rebecca Steam. Operetta is fun too. Ashleigh "The mind is your greatest weapon"...don't turn it against yourself! Too many people have self doubts. Too many people don't love themselves. Too many people are their own worst critics. And it's sad. While it is healthy to question yourself sometimes, it can hurt you if you do it too much.
It all comes down to the fact that words have power...including the words you say to yourself. If you constantly tell yourself you are not worthy of love, then you will never truly receive it, except from your family members. Then, too, if you constantly tell yourself you are ugly, fat, stupid (fill in the blank), then you are going to begin to feel that way AND act that way. Life is hard enough without a poor self image! What we think of ourselves is a habit. Begin today to change your own self image so that eventually you will habitually think of yourself in a different light. Use your greatest weapon (your mind, if you haven't been paying attention) to help change your self perception. So how do you do it? Good question! And the answer depends on what you want to change. Do you think you are too fat to feel good about yourself? Then come up with a plan to lose weight! Picture what you would have to do to lose weight and then start doing it! As you do, create a new internal dialog for yourself...I am a person who eats healthily and avoids processed foods and snacks. Each day, wake up and think, I enjoy eating healthy foods, and then do so! Think about what a person who eats healthily would want to eat...and then eat it! The more you actually do what you think about, the more your self image will change! It's hard to look at yourself as fat if you are eating healthily every day and exercising...but it takes time. Doing it once in a while won't change your mind. You need to own the habit. Eat healthy foods, avoid unhealthy things and control your portions. Start a work out routine...and stick to it! After a while, these habits will become a part of you, and you will become toned and lose weight. The more you believe that you are a healthy individual, the less you will "feel" like you are a fat slob. Words have power! That is just one example. Usually, our self image has more than just one negative aspect to it. And they all work together to cripple your self image. Each day, work to improve those negative aspects of your self image just a little bit. Just saying that those negative traits don't exist is not enough! You need to take actions to prove to yourself that those things are not true. Work at it. Try for just a 1% improvement each day on your negative traits and in four months you will have a 100% change in your self image. Your mind will accept the change, if you actually take the steps necessary to change your self image. If you only think about it, and you don't take action, then your mind will never believe the story you are telling it. Take the steps necessary to make the changes, so that your mind knows that it is holding a false picture. Fail to take action, and your mind will fail to see a difference. There is no free lunch in this world. Change your actions to change your mind. It is that simple! The above quote was said by Lao Tzu. I love it. The main point of it is that your mindset truly determines who you are as a person, and what you think often can be shown in your actions. I think that it is quite true too... what you think, you do often tend to say without thinking about. And once you say something, yes, you have said it and people KNOW you have said it, or done it; depending. And once you start something... yes, there is the possibility for it to become a habit. And our habits do define us as people.
However. I'd like to take a moment and classify habits as something COMPLETELY different than addiction. Yes, an addiction is a habit, but it is separate from other habits. It's hard to explain but they are two different things completely. Habits aren't always in your mind, they can be physical and you may not even be aware of them. Addiction, on the other hand, attacks the mind and makes you aware. You may not be aware of your addiction, but it takes a different toll on your mind than a normal habit will. Also- if you're dealing with addiction instead of habit, then this quote is irrelevant. Addiction is a beast; it changes the person who has to deal with it. Too often, the kindest people are not separated from their addiction... and it warps people's views on them. One of my friends' boyfriends had a drug problem and everyone initially told her that he was horrible, bad news, etc. etc. She was actually able to help him over-come the addiction, which he had already started to beat on his own, and she was able to see him as a PERSON and not a walking addiction. The nicest people are often dragged down, left out and forgotten due to this mental state and I absolutely hate it. Not just because I watched my mom be labeled as her illness, but because I just think that it is wrong to judge someone without truly knowing them... at least not based on addiction. The kindest people you will ever meet can be struggling sometimes and I think more people need to realize this. Good night. Maddie I like to do karate. I have classes on Monday and Thursday. I like to run in the beginning
of class and I like to do forms. I know pinion one and two and blocking forms one and two. Ashleigh Every day is a second chance. Yep that sounds great, but it isn't necessarily true. One day, for each of us will not be a second chance because we will never wake up. I think a better quote is "never put off to tomorrow what you can do today".
Whenever I read a quote like the one above I think of my wife. We started dating in July 1999. After dating for a couple of weeks, Sharon opened up to me and told me she was an alcoholic and asked me to help her to quit. It was a good sentiment, but one that she never followed through on. At one point, after we started living together we decided to start diaries. Once she passed away, I read through her diary and kept mine handy for the same time period to see how our outlooks matched up. A lot of her diary at around that time was about lying to me about her drinking and how she didn't "feel" like stopping just yet. I would write about how I thought she was drinking and lying about it on some days, and on how she seemed to be making progress on others. Meanwhile, hers would be about how she snuck out from work to buy a bottle and where she was hiding it. She would mention when she was grabbing a drink etc. etc. She believed she had lots of time to stop her drinking. Well, for her, a second chance was always around the corner, right up until her drinking killed her. My wife had an addiction. She realized this, wanted to stop, but never took sustainable action. It ended up killing her. It's easy to point at my wife and say "well yeah, but that was an extreme case!" But was it really? How many people do you know who are obese and yet do not change their diets or their exercise regiments to get in better shape? How many people do you know who go out most weekends and tie one on? How many people do you know who smoke regularly? All of these are addictions too. And they are very hard to break. Oftentimes, people give up one addiction only to bring another into their life. I will give you a personal example. When I was younger, I drank very heavily. I gave it up to help Sharon stop drinking. Back in college I had given up drinking, but went back to it after a while, because I felt not drinking was hurting my social life (this wasn't necessarily true). By the time I met Sharon, I was drinking out of boredom, and was looking for a reason to quit, since I believed it was a problem for me as well. Right after giving up drinking, I gained a lot of weight. When I started dieting, I noticed that my cigar smoking went from a casual habit of one or two a week to a daily habit. Similar to other "addicts" I was changing from one addictive habit to another. It has taken me years to realize this though. In fact, I just realized this the other day after reading an article about poor eating habits and their similarities to other addictive behaviors. So what are my addictive behaviors now? I am still battling with maintaining a low-carb diet. At the same time, I have added positive behaviors such as working out and push ups to the mix. Working long hours also seems to be a vice that I am driven to do. While working out is positive, I truly believe that I use it as a distraction to help get my dopamine high similar to how drinking, eating, or cigars gave me that high in the past. I notice that others also have their own little addictions going on...whether they want to admit to them or not. In the end, I find that I am always striving to better myself. I find it is best not to put off to tomorrow what I can be doing today. When I fail to keep up with something I am struggling with, I try not to look at it as tomorrow is another chance. That is such whiny bullshit. Instead, I look at it as a chance to better improve on the work I tried to accomplish yesterday. Beating addictions is hard. In my life, I have now beaten two. I have not had a drink since 1999, and I gave up cigars in 2003. To this day, I still get an occasional urge to smoke a cigar! Talk about the power of habit! I am still struggling to cut carbs out of my life. Diabetes runs in my family (as does alcoholism) and the carbs turn to sugar in your bloodstream. Pretzels and coffee rolls seem to be my major downfalls. As for working out and work in general, I will continue to try and work out daily. Meanwhile, it's hard to say how much of my day is work and how much is life. My work day is long, but broken down into many moments. I also home school my daughters during the day and take time to talk and play with them. I also do a lot of extra reading during the day that is only loosely tied to my stocks. I actually enjoy reading about the industries that I cover, so its hard to say how much of the extra reading is directly tied to the stocks I cover specifically. When I cover an industry, I try to become an expert in that industry. So there is a fine line between work and pleasure for me. I have rambled on long enough here. Please note, though, that I don't believe tomorrow is a second chance. Today is what you have, and there is no time better to make a positive change than right now. Because in the end, there will come a day for all of us when tomorrow will never come. Or a day when changing will be too late. Regrets suck. Even so, I think they must suck worse as you give yourself a shot of insulin or while you are relearning to walk after having some of your toes amputated. Or while you lie dying in a coma. Some regrets you have to live with. Some you don't. Try to have the wisdom to know the difference. I like candy. It is very sweet and tasty! There is a lot of sugar in candy. And that is not
good for my tummy or teeth. My Daddy doesn't let me have a lot. I still like candy anyway! Ashleigh I love this quote so much. I love the sheer idea of individuality and being yourself to be honest, because too often in life people get shut down or shut out because they feel like they can't be themselves. Most of this comes from people thinking they are required to live up to the expectations of their parents, or their friends, or just society in general.This is so false and it's unfortunate that so many people believe that you have to meet everyone's expectations.
The only one whose expectations you must meet are your own. You shouldn't worry about constantly pleasing others because if you do, then you'll become a puppet to others and lose your individuality entirely. By becoming a puppet, you try to please everyone, no matter what... you let them use you and control you. I've seen it happen to so many friends because they fear no one will like them. I say screw that... if people like you, they should like you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. Sure enough, this strategy works for me. I never fake who I am for anyone. I act completely natural and try to be relatively open... and I have a lot of amazing friends because of it. Yes, of course there are some people who don't particularly like me... but that's how it is going to be no matter what. There will always be people who try to frown upon you and drag you down... it is your choice to let them or not. Let's end with another quote! "Those who hate you either hate themselves, want to be you, or see you as a threat." Maddie Yesterday we went out on a trip. We picked up Maddie's friend and went to a space
museum, an Indian museum and an art museum. My favorite was the space museum. There were lots of things to play with there. Ashleigh Are you happy? Are you sure? Sometimes I think our definition of happiness could hold us back from enjoying life. What is happiness? I am not certain I know. The dictionary defines happiness as: "pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction." That's the problem right there. Many of those words have different meanings. In other words meanings other than what I have always considered happiness. In the past, when I have been content, I wasn't always happy. To me, I think I strive for bliss when I talk about being happy. Bliss is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight. I find I can be content without being in a state of bliss. Does that mean I can be content while still not being happy? I guess it does, by those standards.
And yet, I don't consider myself an unhappy person. I am happiest when I am striving for something. When I am focused on achieving a goal I set for myself. It doesn't matter if the goal is a monetary goal, physical or mental. As long as I have a goal that I truly want to achieve, I am happier than I would be without the goal. I like the feeling I get when I crawl a little bit closer to achieving my goal. On the flip side, I feel unhappy when time passes and I have not made any progress towards my goals. One problem that I have is that I sometimes set too many goals. When I do this, I am almost always unhappy until I complete some of my goals and then have more time to spend on the other goals. It also sometimes annoys me when other people's goals sometimes interfere with goals of my own. They ask me to do something (which is not really unreasonable) but it encroaches on time I put to the side to do something else. I usually try to accommodate them, but it is not always possible to do it as quickly as they would like. When this happens, I feel doubly bad, because not only does it encroach on my time, but it also doesn't give them immediate gratification either. I have come to the conclusion that I will rarely be in a state of bliss...and I am okay with that. Instead, I look for happiness in being content. Did I get a little closer to my goals today? Then I am happy. Did I get through the day without too much pain from my knee or other arthritic areas? Yes? Then I am content. Being content is the next best thing to being blissful in my opinion. Other than when I was really young, I can think of only two times in my entire life when I was blissful... or to me, happy by my old definition. It took me many years to realize that those moments were not what happiness was all about. Was it great to be blissful? Yes. But that wasn't real happiness. I realized this when I started looking back at things I did in my life with a sense of satisfaction that I had done this or that or had experienced this thing or that. I realized that that sense of satisfaction was a happiness of a different type. Am I happy all the time? No. But I am happy often and I don't think I am a downer at all. To sum it up, recognize that there are different types of happiness. Find the ones that you experience the most. See why you experience them and then work from there. At the moment I am very happy. Earlier, when I started writing this posts, I was down. In between those times I was upset. I then went out to the park with my daughters (which makes them happy). In turn, I relaxed on a bench, saw my daughters' happiness, and then I too became happier. Sometimes, its easy to become happy through those around you. Look for happiness, and you will find it. It may not be bliss, but then again if you experienced bliss every moment of the day, you'd find that that would no longer be bliss either since it would become common place. To recognize happiness, you must also be able to recognize what is not. It took me a while to realize that. But now that I have, I am happier for it. This quote is so simple, and yet so true. Let's jump right into it... if you live your life to the fullest while still keeping a level head and making the best out of everything you get, and in general leading a happy life- completing goals, raising a family correctly, watching your children grow up, etc. etc. etc. then it is more likely that when your time DOES come, you will look back on your life and think "Wow. I did good. Yes, I'll be leaving my family... but that's ok. I did good while I was alive and left them with many happy memories of me, and I was in general successful." This creates peace and more ease; not only for you but for your family as well. On the other hand, if you waste your life making stupid decisions and not trying to achieve goals, then on your deathbed you may get fearful. Not only because you're going to DIE, but because you left no legacy behind you... no happy memories, perhaps not even a family to carry on your name and bloodline. Then, you do begin to fear death- because you accomplished nothing in your life, and you regret that. You fear becoming nothing because once you die, there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE IT. NOTHING. And all your choices become permanent. Motto of this post? Make wise decisions throughout your life. We all have a set amount of time on Earth, and NONE of us know when our time will run out... hell, I could die in 5 minutes. Life is strange and throws unexpected twists at us all the time... we need to be prepared for them. Once we die, we're gone, and nothing can be changed... so live your life to the fullest and try to not have any regrets. I shall finish this with another quote: "Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the drama, take chances and never have regrets because at one point everything you did was exactly what you wanted." Finally, at long last, I have found it- a quote I disagree with! Now don't get me wrong- I don't hate optimism, in fact, I like most optimism (as long as it isn't too far-fetched). The part of this quote that I disagree with is that "life is too short to cry for anything". Wrong. Crying is an important part of life... in fact, crying is extremely healthy. Yes, it is nice to be happy, but sometimes happiness can only be brought back by crying out your emotions. Regardless of what you say, sadness will always exist in the world and there is NO way around it.
Let's be clear here- there are PLENTY of things in the world that aren't worth crying over whatsoever, and we do sometimes need to be shown the difference. If we didn't know the difference, the world would be knee-deep in tears for senseless bullcrap. Dropping your ice cream on the sidewalk? Disappointing, but not worth tears unless you are 3-5 years old. The death of a family member, or perhaps devastating personal news... yes, these are worthy of your tears. Maybe an extremely special relationship or friendship coming to an end. But not small things. You shouldn't let tiny things get to you. It's quite the reversal of my life motto; which is to appreciate the little things for what they are. I do NOT want this motto being taken the other way, however. It works for happiness... but NOT for sadness. Try to NOT let the little disappointments bother you- take them in stride and move on, and it will prepare you better for the larger disappointments you will surely run into later in life. For example, taking smaller things as nothing earlier in my life helped prepare me for my mother's death 2 years ago. My point here? Yes, it is good to be happy and not let things break you... but you don't always have to be strong. There ARE things in life worth crying for, and you just need to find them. It is 100% healthy to cry and it is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it is better to cry and let your feelings out than keeping them bottled inside. Good luck to you. Maddie |
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