Is there any way to excuse the inexcusable? I don't think so. Sometimes things happen that are just not excusable. How do you know what those things are? It's when they still bother you nearly two years after they first happened.
Two years ago, the most horrific thing that ever happened in my life occurred. Friends both near and wide, came to console me. My Mom,sister and brother in law, all came to help out as best they could. Maddie's Godfather, a good friend of mine, drove seven hours from Buffalo to console us. And yet, not a single person from my own family (other than those mentioned) came to share my sorrow. That says a lot. Some were too ill to come... and I honestly understand that. Children with severe allergies, I understand that too. I have a dog and my part of New Hampshire is extremely rural. Neither makes for an ideal setting for children with severe allergies. Some of my extended family didn't find out what happened until after the fact. I understand that also. Sometimes the family grapevine doesn't work efficiently. These people spoke with me after the fact, and I totally understand. It has happened to me in the past as well. The ones that bother me, are the ones that knew, and were healthy, yet did nothing. I have run into these people since that day...and did not mention my feelings. Neither did they. I don't think I ever will. Personally, it isn't worth it. And still, as the anniversary of my wife's death rolls around again, I can't help but feel sadness. Sadness for losing her, sadness for my daughters, growing up without a Mom to share girl things with, and sadness for the hole in my heart where my sense of family used to reside. Excuse the inexcusable? I don't think so. At this point, two years later, I am still trying to just overlook it. I don't think of this stuff every day. In fact, I rarely think of it. But when the anniversary of Sharon's death rolls around, I think of her a lot, and inevitably, my thoughts drift back to the support I received during that time frame. I once read a quote that said "Friends are the new family." While I always thought that that statement was pure claptrap, I was horrified to find that there was likely more truth to that statement than I ever imagined! Excuse the inexcusable? Maybe next year.
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