I'm writing this post for a few reasons- but it is influenced by one of my friends. I'll keep her name out of this, but I want to share her story because I think people could learn from it. Recently, she got out of a really bad relationship with a guy. This guy was HORRIBLE for her- manipulative, over-bearing, a liar, and a cheater. On top of all of that, he betrayed her trust many times and it hurt her a lot. This lasted for 6 months, and since she's very forgiving, she gave her all to try and save the relationship. Obviously, in the end it failed since people like that are impossible to help... the guy dumped her because HE "couldn't handle it" in the end.
However, it's 4 months later and she's still letting this guy wreck her life. There are guys she wants to date who have asked her out; but she says no out of the fear that they'll be exactly like her ex. It's a rational fear, I understand- but at the same time, I think she should let go. She asked me for advice; and this is what I told her: "You can't let his dumb mistakes control you now. I mean yes, be careful... but don't let him stop you from living your life. Are you going to let him vindicate your every move for the rest of your life, simply out of fear that every guy will be like him..? I mean every relationship will come with its own set of problems; but not all of them will be like his. Just know the warning signs for people WITH his problem. But don't let someone who you dated THIS early in life control your entire life and make you fearful of love; because all love won't be like that. Mainly for the fact that what you had with him wasn't love." I think that this advice can be taken and used in MANY situations in life. You can't let something from the past vindicate your every move in life; because then you won't be able to live your life to the fullest. If you constantly live in fear of a repeated past; then you won't be able to create a new and improved future for yourself. And that is what I think my friend- and many others- need to understand. So, let go of your past- take the lessons you learned from it with you; but leave the fear behind. ~Maddie
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