That headline is not my own. I saw it on a blog post by James Altucher. Don't worry, I am not plagiarizing his article. He was writing about something else today. The above quote was in the lower right hand corner of an image he put up about essential skills they don't teach you in college.
When I read the quote it really just struck me because of how true it is! You have to live for yourself! Not for your parents, friends, teachers, or anyone else...well, maybe your children! Growing up you need to follow your own interests and find what will work best for you...or you are never really going to be happy. Now let me be clear here, I am not saying to not do what you are asked to do. Not at all. What I am talking about is try not to repeat your parent's mistakes or choose your life's path due to what your parent's want for you. In other words, don't become a doctor, because your mother wants you to be a doctor...become a doctor because you have a driving passion to heal people! Let's take it further. Don't drink because "everyone in your family does it" or do drugs because "all of my friends do and they are fine!" Don't get a tattoo because "they are in style" or get a new car to "keep up with the Jones". Be yourself! And make your own decisions! Think! Now, I am not talking about not doing your math, Maddie because you want to think for yourself. I am talking at a level deeper than that. Do your math, and the other exercises that are necessary to learn how to think. Then apply those lessons so you can think out how best to proceed so that you can be happy in life! Last night, I read through some of my dead wife's diary from fifteen years ago. We each tried to keep one back then, but gave them up as too much trouble. I also read back through my diary for the same dates to see if there were any parallels. The most striking thing I noticed was that we both realized we had problems, but our approach to dealing with them were different. One of Sharon's largest problems was that I was trying to stop her from drinking, even though she no longer wanted to stop drinking! Page after page I read about how she kept drinking and lying to me about it. Her eating disorder was a major focus for her, my anger at her lying and her anger at me for how I handled my stress about her drinking and lying. In truth, we were a mess during the early years of our marriage. How does this relate to the theme of this post? Well, a couple of times Sharon mentions that she talked to her mom, who also seemed to be experiencing similar issues as Sharon. In fact, eerily Sharon seemed to be living out similar scenes from her Mom's life. Her mom also has some similar issues to Sharon and Sharon seemed to be mirroring her lifestyle to some extent. Sharon had addictive personality disorder. I am not saying that her mother has that also (I don't think she necessarily does). But some of Sharon's problems were learned behaviors that did not help with her underlying issues. If there is one thing that I would like to pass on to my children it is the passion and ability to think for themselves. I am raising my daughters to the best of my abilities. When they grow older I want them to think about what I did in raising them, and take the best parts to raise their own children. Things that they believe I did not do properly, or in areas where I may have failed, I want them to discard. That way things will be better for their children. To do this though, they will truly need to be able to think and discern good from bad. Live for yourselves girls, and be happy. Plagiarize someone else's life, and you may never truly find the answers that I hope you are looking for.
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