"Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness, and the burning up of the ego." That is a quote by Eckhart Tolle. He is an author who wrote "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life's Purpose" to name two. I have never read any of his work, but the above quote really struck me because in a perverse way, it is true.
Believe me, this is not what I expected to write about this morning.The only reason I chose it is because I thought back to my wife's illness and death, and I thought of the way I think now, versus what I thought then, and I see that my state of consciousness is different and that what I care about has changed greatly. I do not mean to say that the suffering had a purpose. "Purpose" was likely a poor choice of word for that quote. The use of the word "noble" was also a little bit unsettling. But I do see that the suffering I went through watching my wife disintegrate, changed me in profound ways. To start, I no longer care about money at all. I have my house paid off. I make a good salary, and I am not very motivated to work longer hours to make more money. My daughters are the most important things in my life, and I just want to spend my time raising them and making sure they are ready for adulthood. I also noticed that my ego has just about dried up and disappeared. I really don't care what people think of me any more. I care about making sure my daughters know I love them and that I am always here for them. I dress the way I like, and I can care less about what others think about that. I have no urge to buy the latest car or watch the most popular TV shows. In my work, I write about what I think will drive the stock price higher or lower. I try to do my best for our subscribers...and that is what I am focused on. I try to keep my editing honest and focused. If someone makes a mistake, I tell them. I was never one to let things slide, but I am even less like that now. I no longer care about what others thik about me (at least I think I don't). Now, I do things for me and my daughters...and my Mom too. If I can help someone else out, I'll do that too, but I don't really feel compelled to do so. In the end, there is nothing "noble" about suffering. I watched my wife suffer. I suffered with her. As did my daughter. I doubt anyone who saw what happened with my wife would think there was anything noble about it. To what purpose did we suffer. In my mind, it was pointless. I would not wish what my wife went through on anyone. Nor would I wish what I went through, or my daughter went through on anyone. It was pointless. It was sad. And it never really goes away. Some people, like Eckhart Tolle, write things without ever really experiencing what they write about. He writes a sentence and puts in words that he thinks will make people sigh and feel better about themselves...and he fails miserably. Suffering is not a noble purpose. It is suffering. And while suffering will change the way you think, It takes a horrible mental and physical toll. If you really want an evolution in consciousness and a burning away of the ego, you need to think. Not about a bunch of sappy sentences written by a man who has likely never experienced the things that he is writing about... but about what is right and wrong in your own life. Think about how you can change what makes you unhappy. Think about what truly makes you happy. What changes can you make today that will help you to build happiness for your lifetime? It is this type of thinking that will lead to a burning away of your ego. When you live for yourself and stop caring what the neighbors will think. This will bring about a change in your consciousness. Be true to thine own heart.
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