Hugs- something so basic and over-looked. Today, I think I realized their true importance and how much they can mean to you or someone else without meaning it. This morning, Dad and I had a rather pointless argument that ended in me being a complete witch and saying "no" to hugging him. Now this to the reader may not seem like a lot but... every morning since the day I have been born, I've given my dad a morning and good night hug. It's our tradition. We do it because we know the value of life... how short it is and how each day can be so easily taken for granted. This hug is a representation of our love for each other as father and daughter, and it proves that we don't go to sleep pissed off at each other.
Now, at the end of this argument my dad stated "I could be dead tomorrow" and I replied, "so could I." He then said "That's why I'm hugging you" and then he hugged me, even though I didn't reciprocate. However, his words really hit me and in a way, hurt me... even though I know it wasn't intentional. You see, when my mom passed... I never really got to say goodbye. The last time I saw her, I was leaving to go to NJ and I gave her an empty, meaningless hug and said "Bye". I regret that more than anything... I wasn't mad at her, but the meaninglessness in it haunts me til this day along with the knowing that I never got a proper good bye. We went to NJ, and we got a call that she was in the hospital... we came back immediately but it was really too late. My mom was in a coma and hooked up to too many machines to count, and over the course of 2 weeks spent in that same hospital bed her situation got worse and worse and she was resuscitated 3 times. There would likely be brain damage even if she survived, and finally... the decision was made to pull the plug on her life support and she died in my Dad's arms. Life is short and taken for granted SO OFTEN... hugs are also taken for granted and I know this too well. I got no closure with my Mom, and I would never forgive myself if I let it happen with anyone else... especially my Dad. I love you so much Dad and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. My advice to anyone and everyone... life is too short to be wasted on bitterness and hate. Cherish the time with the ones you love. Life is just a large hourglass... and we never know when our sand will run out. ~Maddie
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
September 2021
Categories
All
|