"The more we value things, the less we value ourselves." This is a quote from Bruce Lee, one of the greatest martial artists of modern time (well, at least one of the better known ones anyway). Bruce was a man wise beyond his years (he died at age 33). Is the above quote true? I don't know. What I do know is that many people search for happiness through their possessions. I have found over the years that actually having an item doesn't usually bring me happiness. Instead, the quest for the item usually brought me more joy.
To this day, I still enjoy a good treasure hunt. On occasion, I'll bring my daughters out to garage sales, flea markets or antique stores. I usually don't have anything specific in mind when we go... I just like to look at old things and see if anything sparks my interest enough to buy it. When I was younger, my wife and I would always go on antique trips to visit out of the way antique stores in Pennsylvania and rural New Jersey. The trips were fun for us and we were looking to buy furniture to furnish our home in an authentic Victorian style. While we bought the occasional nice piece, we spent more time looking rather than buying. It's just what we liked to do to kill some time. I have many fond memories of our trips. So what happened to the antiques we actually bought? I still have them. They are peppered around my house. For the most part, though, I barely look at them, let alone use them. You see, the happiness came from looking for them, not in their purchase. Most of my friends have no appreciation for antiques. Thus, I rarely point out any of the pieces to them. They wouldn't care, and pointing them out would give me no pleasure. The hunt, though, I still look back on fondly. Over the past year, Maddie and I have been selling off many of Sharon's things at a local flea market. Most of the items hold no memories for either of us. She had so many clothes, that many of them still had price tags on them. She had never worn them. We have likely sold about 120 pairs of shoes already. Most at $2 to $5 a pair. Most of them, we don't ever remember seeing her wear. My wife sought happiness in possessions. It was part of her disorder. In the end, none of them brought her happiness. Her children brought her happiness. I (I think) brought her happiness. Yet she couldn't see past that. She was driven to purchase things...looking for that elusive happiness. In the end, Sharon had very low self esteem. She was overly critical of herself and she drank herself to death. Did she value things more than she valued herself? Sadly, I think there was a part of her that did. My wife had (has) a beautiful soul. She couldn't see it, though, and it tormented her. Do I value things? Not any more. I value memories. Seeing my daughters smile. Listening to them laugh. Seeing their faces light up as they see or learn something new. This is what I value. Things? I drive a 1997 Blazer and my plow truck is from 1992. I wear jeans and a T-shirt nearly every day and most times I walk around barefoot. I do have shoes (4 pairs actually, Cowboy boots for when I need to wear a suit, work boots for winter, an old pair of sneakers and a pair of sandals). From April to October I wear the sandals if I am leaving the house. Otherwise, I prefer to be barefoot. Instead of worrying about all that shit, I value memories. Memories that I build today with my daughters and the people around me so that I and they can look back on them fondly tomorrow. I know for a fact that I can't bring physical things with me when I die. I don't know if I can bring my memories. I pray that I can bring my memories... or at least that my daughters will remember some of them at least and smile long after I have left this world.
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