Today I read a new book. The name of the book is Hot Dog! The story is about a dog who
is outside and is very hot. He walks along looking for a place to cool down. A cat chases him off the porch and a pig rolls over on him when he lies in the mud. A skunk sprays him when he tries to hide in a log . Finally, a little girl lets him into her pool and he cools off. Ashleigh
0 Comments
OH MY GOD. This quote. It's so accurate; especially for my generation. It's just as the quote says... we look at the price and not at the quality of the actual object. It can also be used as a metaphor for people who see material things as more valuable than a relationship or a friendship.. there are many ways to represent and explain this quote and I'd like to share my view on it.
In today's world, the price of something defines everything and decides, often enough, if you buy it or not. Take the iPhone 6 as a great example. It's almost the exact same as an iPhone 5S, besides the look and the better camera. However, the price difference is about $100. Do we REALLY care about the VALUE either one has..? Or do we just see the price tag and automatically assume that the upgrade will be better. ANOTHER GOOD EXAMPLE is buying cars from a dealership. If you buy a car new, once you drive it off of the dealership lot... it loses 20% of its value. Why? Because it's no longer new! It now has mileage on it, and has lost its "new" value. On the other hand, there could be a perfectly good used car that works BETTER being sold next to that lot... but since you looked at the price and decided that new would clearly be better instead of looking at the quality of both cars, you made a stupid decision and wasted your money. A car is a tool. It is made simply to get you from point A to point B, and at the end of the day, that is one of the most important things my dad taught me. This quote can also be used to relate back to friendships. I've seen some of my friends literally try to buy the friendship of someone because they wanted to be "cool" (stupid, I know) without even LOOKING at who they were trying to buy. They didn't care about WHO the person was or about them at all, they just wanted to be their friend so they could benefit. I see this in relationships too... Not buying the person, but faking to be their friend for your own selfish benefit. It's stupid and ridiculous and really not fair to the person being used. We once again don't see the value or quality in our friendship, but judge it by how much it will cost us. I don't know... that's the end of my rant for tonight. Gnight world. ~Maddie Today I read Charles Tiger. The book is about a tiger named Charles that has lost his roar.
He goes looking for it and visits a bear, a snake, a monkey, a flamingo and an elephant, but does not find it. It finally comes back when he sees a spider. Ashleigh "I love acting, it is so much more real than life." That's another quote by Oscar Wilde. His book, The Picture of Dorian Gray really is a classic, and I can't recommend it highly enough. What a gem! With this quote (and many others) Wilde is trying to convey that people are always acting and that we rarely get to see people when they are truly being themselves. Wilde made this observation well before the invention of TV. I'd love to see what he thought of people now!
Nowadays, it is easy to see when someone is being fake. They act like characters on their favorite TV shows or their favorite entertainment personality. The sad part is, that many of them are doing it without even realizing it. Watch the facial expressions that people use. Anger, sadness, happiness, you name it. Now watch the faces young children make when they are experiencing the same emotion. The expressions are rarely similar. When they are, you know that the adult is truly experiencing that emotion. The rest is all about trying to look how they THINK they ought to look given what ever happened. Another example, you ask? Okay, have you ever seen anyone get knocked out? I have on a number of occasions. One thing I have noticed is that when someone is truly knocked out, their body stiffens a bit as they fall and their hands are not thrown out to catch them. I have also seen people fake it. Their hands go out to break their fall, or their bodies just slump easily to the ground... kind of like what an actor does when they PRETEND to get knocked out. These people also seem to need a lot more attention to get them back to their feet. In conversations I often see poor acting too. Usually, when someone is trying to get a point across, they will change their facial expression to something they have seen on TV that worked in a similar type conversation. With people my own age and older, I can sometimes pick out who they are trying to emulate. It is harder for me with younger people though, because I stopped watching TV regularly about fifteen years ago. I guess I will go full circle here and quote Wilde again. In the end, "one's true character is what one wishes to be, more than what one is." So, what do you wish to be? Do you want to stop your friends in their tracks? Stop acting. Stop putting on a stupid expression because you saw Johnny Depp do it. Stop cursing because your favorite rapper can't get through a song without dropping the F-bomb fifteen times. Smile because you feel like it, not because you are expected to after one of your friends says something insulting or stupid. For one day, be yourself. Not the persona you are trying to pull off, but the real you. Try it. It is going to be tougher than you think at first. Really it will be. That's because whether we like it or not, we are all pretending to be something we are really not. Some want to be tough...but are really vulnerable. Some want to seem happy, though they are sad. Some are clumsy, some are nimble. All are actors. Including you. So, who do you really want to be. For me, I want to be smart, kind, funny and strong. While I can be all of those things, sometimes it takes effort. When I am quiet and thoughtful, that is when I am really being me. So who are you? “I knew nothing but shadows and I thought them to be real.” That's a quote by Oscar Wilde from his classic The Picture Of Dorian Gray. If you have not read that book, you really need to read more. It is an amazing story. Yet I didn't pick this quote to talk about the story. Instead, I want to talk about life, the people we meet, and the things we pretend to be when we don't think we will be caught.
There are so many ways to approach this subject, The easiest was is to just think about a close friend that you have known for years. Oftentimes I find they act one way when they are in a group of similar friends, and another way when they are around people that they know, but that you don't. This isn't always the case, but I think it happens often enough that we have all seen it once or twice. When I was in high school, there were a number of loose clicks. One group was very preppy and many of the guys played sports while a good number of the girls were cheerleaders. A second group were more like hippies (to put it nicely), while a third was made up of the better students (nerds I guess, though that wasn't the way they seemed to me). Oddly enough, I fit easily into all three of the groups and had friends within each. As I said, these were not real clicks where everyone consciously tried to fit into one of the groups...it kind of more was just how it was. Given I had friends in all three, I often saw how people's behaviors would change as they approached a group or actually hung out with a group that they usually didn't associate with. Jocks who would stop to talk to me when I was talking to some of my druggie, er hippy friends would be stiff when they first walked up and acted a bit tougher than they usually did. Not to me, but to the others. As if they were expecting trouble. Meanwhile, my hippy-type friends would shy away from stopping to talk to me if I was hanging out with my "jock" friends. Meanwhile, my "smart" friends rarely got any reactions from either of the other two groups. It was almost as if they were known to be smart and considered harmless. Looking back now, it was really silly. Everyone had these preconceived ideas about the people who were not "like" them, and oftentimes they were a bit leery of each other. I was in an odd position because I was accepted in each group. I partied on the weekends with my friends from when I was younger, and a lot of them fell into the hippy category. Meanwhile, I played sports and so I fit in easily with the jocks too. I was also in honor English, History and Science so the smart kids were comfortable with me too. What was odd was that when I was younger only three or four of my friends recognized the clicks. Most really didn't see any click at all. Most just believed that they didn't hang out with certain people because they didn't sit near them in class usually so they never got a chance to hang out. Given I hung out with all three of the main types at my school, I can tell you from experience that weed and drinking were prevalent among all three groups. Some weekends I would go out drinking with guys who were considered jocks. Other times it would be with the hippies. Hell, even the smart kids partied. I knew lots of stoners in each of the groups...both guys and girls. Shadows. We were all shadows, without even knowing it. Everyone seemed to have a place where they fit in the world and when the mold was broken and someone ended up around a different set of people awkwardness usually ensued...at least for a few minutes. And the stereotypes held. When I think back about people from high school, I still think back on them as how they were, even though I have seen pictures of many of them and know they don't look like they once did any longer. And don't act as they once did either. I drank heavily in high school and college. Right up until I was in my early thirties in fact. Yet I haven't had a drink in nearly seventeen years now. In the end, we are who we are now, but we are not who we were then. So were we shadows then, or are we shadows now? Shadows of our old selves. What is really the true us. Who we are now, or who we were then? Or is either version the true us? Today I read Mind Your Manners, Biscuit! It was a story where Biscuit and his owner
go to do errands with the little girl's Mom. They go to the florist , the post office, the pet store and the market. Finally, they go for ice cream! They walk home afterwards with Biscuit's friend Puddles. Ashleigh I love this quote so much... and for good reason. I'm almost 14, but since I'm mature for my age... I tend to hang out with and be closer to people who are 15+. Due to this, I'm seeing a LOT more dramatic relationships than I probably would if I stuck with my own age group... not that I mind. I just hate watching my friends, MAINLY FEMALE, chase after guys who really aren't worth their time. These guys are horrible- they have a bad reputation for chewing girls up and spitting them out and have the bad-boy persona... and sadly enough, it is often only their looks that attract females.
Naturally, my friends don't see this when they are head over heels... nor do they see how stupid they're acting, chasing after a guy who will not reciprocate. With some people, it doesn't matter HOW much you talk to them or how much effort you put into a friendship or a relationship- it just doesn't work. These people are usually self-centered and if you have nothing but friendship to offer them, then you aren't worth their time. So, even though you may give everything up for them, they will barely try for you. I actually wrote a poem awhile ago about this... here it is: Don't say "what" Let me break this down now Cuz if you say "explain tomorrow" Then I won't know how You don't care that I exist I feel our friendship is a lie Because you say you want to help But would leave me there to die Just a pawn and you're the player Use me up and throw me out Like everybody else You swore to God you cared about Saying that you're so alone When you don't know the meaning of the word I honestly doubt you know abandonment Or the betrayal of the world You don't care that I have issues Or that I've almost died Cuz if I'm gone there are others You can tear apart inside You don't care about feelings Or the ones I have for you You just jump to conclusions And think what you've heard is true If a gun was to your head I'd replace it with mine But you wouldn't do the same If you could walk away fine Maybe I'm an idiot Who crossed too many a sea Trying to save someone Who wouldn't jump a puddle for me. I think that about sums it up... while I haven't been victimized by any of these idiots, I've seen enough of my friends being used up to write from their perspective. I'd like to close this post off by saying that if someone won't reciprocate or even show a small interest in being your friend... they aren't worth your time. There are lots of games on my iPad. Learning With Homer helps me to read. It helps me
with numbers and tells me stories also. I like to take pictures and make videos with my iPad too. My iPad is very useful! Ashleigh This quote is very true. In life, you can take many different roads and paths. I'm sure you've heard the Robert Frost quote, about "taking the road less traveled by". If not, go look it up on Google and come back to this post- it'll still be here. This quote is similar, in a way... but not the same. Taking the road less traveled by signifies leading your own life, forging your own path and law, and not simply following in the footsteps of those who went before you.
THIS quote is very similar in the way that it promotes being yourself and standing out... but it takes it to a more personal level. Being yourself in the mind and in how you act- not being afraid to be different. I think it's something that THIS generation in particular could do to follow- everyone nowadays seems hellbent on being unique; different from everyone else. However; at the same time... you're afraid to break the mold and be yourself for fear of rejection. This quote is a good reminder that being different is not bad. It shows that while being normal may be easier... it isn't always better. You don't get to be you. Even if you are more accepted as something you are not, it is still better to stick out a bit and show people who your truly are. Break the mold. Be you. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind." - Dr. Seuss ~Maddie "It's not what you look at that matters, it is what you see." Henry David Thoreau said that little gem. It makes me think of another quote.."The devil is in the details." Although the two quotes don't mean the same thing, one brings to mind the other. Oftentimes, it is the detail that brings out the beauty or truth in a matter.
It's funny to me how people can look at the same scene and see different things. It happened to us on the way to church. There were five of us in the car. In the middle of the road was a dead porcupine. As we passed it, I said, wow, he was a big one! Everyone looked at me and said "What are you talking about?" When I said there was a dead porcupine right in the middle of the road, all of them seemed surprised and said they didn't see it. Now this porcupine was quite large...about the size of a medium-sized dog, and yet not one person other than the driver even noticed it! A little further down the road, my youngest daughter yelled "Oh, look at the cows!" as if she had never seen them there before. We were passing a farm we drive past nearly every day. And yet, the cows surprised her. (No one else was surprised, thank God.) It just goes to show that although we may be all looking at the same scene, we will not all see the same things. The devil really is in the details. I try to train my daughters to be more observant. Not only in what they see, but in what they read. I will often ask them questions such as "What did you see?" followed quickly by "What else did you see?" This is actually more effective with Ashleigh right now. She takes in a lot, but doesn't recognize the detail until you ask her. Maddie on the other hand (when she is not giving one-word answers like "Nothing"), is much more descriptive about what she sees. She is also getting better at reading between the lines with the literature that I assign her to read. Oftentimes when I give her an assignment, I am not looking for her to retell me the story she has just read, I am looking for her to pick up on the story hidden within the story. Not all books have hidden symbolism or have secondary meanings. When they do, I like to see if she can pick up on them. Maddie's first real ah-ha moment with this kind of thinking came when I assigned her the short story "The Swimmer" by John Cheever. On the surface, the story is draggy and slow. A good day turns more dark and sinister as the main character progresses on his quest. The real story is between the lines, though, and it was enjoyable to get Madison's take on it. At first, she didn't see it, as I was using this story as an introduction to reading the story inside a story. As I explained the allegories that I saw within the story (there are many if you look for them), Maddie's eyes lit up and she started to use leaps of logic to point out other parts to the story that first eluded her. "The Swimmer" and "1984" were two of my favorite assignments I have given Maddie. "The Picture of Dorian Gray" was another. Within my own life, I see so many stories within stories. Nearly everyone we meet has multiple stories, all entwined within their personalities. How well do any of us really know anyone? How well do we know ourselves? Have you ever met anyone who has a blind spot about one of their own traits? We all have them. All though I'd like to think that I know mine, I am certain there are some I will never know...even if someone tells me about them! We all have secrets that are not meant to be shared. Little pieces of us that we have hid away either consciously or subconsciously. If you believe that, then apply that rule to the people you know. How well do you know them really? What makes them tick? Every once in a while, people I know surprise me. Usually in a good way. I try to see the good in everyone, so I look for it. Then, in a moment that would usually have little consequence, a person's guard will drop and their inner beauty will shine through in a way that is unexpected. It could be in how they talk to their spouse, or how they treat a stranger. You never know what the trigger will be that will show you a greater part of their soul. For me, it was when my wife first read me her poetry that I knew that I loved her. We had already been dating for a week or two. Originally I had been attracted to her looks, her accent, and the way she laughed at little jokes. Once she read me her poetry, however, I got a glimpse of her soul and fell madly in love. I am a bit of a poetry buff. I have read a lot of it over the years. But when Sharon opened up to me and read me her poems, and I could feel the raw power underneath them and the pain, I was drawn to her like a moth to the flame. Try to read between the lines folks. Try to see what isn't shown. That is where the real meaning of life and the stories of our souls really live. The truth is out there, although it is often hid behind a mist we put in front of our own eyes. See what is underneath the masks people wear. See the beauty that hides just inside the ordinary. Look past the facade that people put up to guard their feelings. That is where you can find the true beauty...or occasionally, the horror. For me, I like to look for the beauty. This quote is so true. I love the use of metaphors within quotes, and this is an excellent one. In it, the rain is representative of what you can say to someone, and the thunder represents someone yelling. I think this quote is directed at those who believe that raising their voice will win them an argument... when in reality, it doesn't at all. You can easily out-yell someone and be saying the most retarded thing ever, and drown out the logical argument of the person who has kept their cool... but in the end, the person with the logic will undoubtedly win.
Volume is not everything, certainly... and in my opinion, those who yell during disputes are usually immature and childish. They obviously never learned to keep a cool head and to not always scream when they didn't get their way. Naturally, everyone has their bad days where they can reach their limit for other people's stupidity.... but I'm directing this post at anyone and everyone who believes yelling in an argument equals victory. If I had to take a stab at the psychology behind this... I'd say that this bad habit probably comes from one of two places: 1). Those who were never taught proper discipline, respect and logic when younger, and so lead all their battles with emotion and anger or 2). Those who were neglected and shut out when younger- perhaps constantly drowned out by another sibling, and therefore learned that the only way to get attention and a form of victory was through being noisy. How true this is, I don't know- but I do know that logic proves a hell of a lot more than needless, over-emotional and quite frankly annoying yelling. Now, as for the 'flower' in this quote... this is obviously the person who is being yelled at. When someone yells at me, it can draw many reactions depending on my mood at the time. Most often, I'll feel annoyed and tend to spew back (though I've been getting better about keeping calm) or I'll feel upset and shut down. However, if you use logic and try to change my mind, and say it CALMLY.. I'm more apt to listen, absorb what you say and perhaps even change my mind. Don't grow your flowers with thunder... it'll only kill them off or hold them back. ~Maddie Today I read a new book, Biscuit And The Little Pup. The story was about Biscuit
meeting a little puppy when he was playing with his ball. The puppy was hiding and did not want to come out. Biscuit got him out by pretending to hide .The puppy came out to find him and they became friends. Ashleigh "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next." That profound statement was by Gilda Radner. For those of you born after 1990, Gilda Radner was a comedian best known for her work on Saturday Night Live in the late 1970's. One of her characters, Roseanne Roseannadanna, is still mentioned when people speak of the show even though its been over 35 years since it was last shown live. Gilda died in 1989 from ovarian cancer at the age of 43.
The quote above comes from a book Gilda wrote after her cancer had gone into remission. Sadly her cancer came back and killed her. The quote is very blunt and reminds us that life isn't always what we want it to be. It's optimistic, though, too, because it tells us to take the moment and make the best of it. Live and do your best, and if life throws you a lemon, make lemonade. There is a lot of sadness in the world, and some of it will inevitably come your way. The trick is not to allow it to take control of you and change your life for the worse. My wife's death certainly changed the ending that I had foreseen for myself. My wife was ten years younger than me, and I always expected that I would die before she did...when we were both old and gray. I never thought that at 45 I would be raising two children on my own, or frankly that I would be running my own business. Life happens though, and that is exactly what I was doing. Rather than lamenting that my life wasn't following my loose expectations, I tried and try to take each moment as it happens and make the best of it. I set goals for myself and actually take steps to achieve them. There is not always a perfect ending though. Sometimes I have to make do with what actually happens compared to what I picture. This particularly holds true when my plans involve others. My plans and goals don't always necessarily match up with the goals and plans of others. When this happens, I accept that others also have views on how things should be, and I then make a decision about whether or not my goals are still worthy of pursuing, only without that other person involved. Remember, not all endings are perfect. Some, like Gilda's could not be changed. Some endings can be changed, You just need the wisdom to know the difference. Dreams can be achieved...if you plan your path. If others do not want to join you on your journey, then you have to decide whether the journey has to be changed, or the people on it. Life is short. Some times brutally so. Whether you are at the beginning middle or end of yours, make your decisions wisely. Use logic to make your best choices. And don't get upset if others choose differently. Aside from health issues and accidents, you do have a choice. While not everyone will agree with your choices, and there could be unforeseen consequences, follow your logical decisions and to some extent follow your heart. Don't make decisions based on laziness, or based on what your friends are doing. Base them on what you truly want your future to look like. A life of freedom and creativity, or a life of always having you nose to someone else's grind stone...just making enough to pay your necessary expense and little left for anything else? When I was younger, I made decisions that impacted the rest of my life. I have few true regrets. The ones I have for the most part involve small personal things and then the major thing (the death of my wife). Choosing Sharon as my wife was never a regret. Not being able to help her beat her addictions will always haunt me though. Decisions I made that did not have the outcomes I wanted or expected will stay with me the rest of my life. In the end, I realize that it was decisions made by Sharon that led to her death. Still, that doesn't stop me from playing the what might have been game. Make your decisions wisely, because you will have to either live or die with them. This is a quote from John Lennon, and I love it for its simplicity. It gets right to the point. I think that it is important to note that right off the bat, that if you are going to "waste time"... you should be enjoying yourself. Your time is yours and no one else's. That's why I think the quote was... structured as it was. Too often in life, I think we confuse the time of others with our own. This is ESPECIALLY true in work, I think. Whichever way you choose to look at it, when it comes down to it... your time is yours, and it can never be gotten back; even if you choose to spend it foolishly working for another person so they can spend THEIR time more comfortably.
I get told a lot by my dad to not "waste his time". This quote sort of disproves this; and I think my dad would do good to come back to this post the next time he tells me this. Yes, I may not do my work on time... BUT I am using my time how I want to. Before you lecture me, hear me out. As I said above- time is all our own. It can't be gotten back; no matter how much we may want to take it back. I realize that my homework is a priority; and I do try with it... but if something that is more important to ME presents itself, I'm naturally going to do that instead. It's MY time. It's MY life. And while you are my guardian and parent and you are in charge of me and in charge of raising me correctly until I am 18... it doesn't change the fact that what I do with my life NOW is going to impact me later. Perhaps this just further proves your point about finishing my schoolwork on time, etc... but as you are so fond of saying, memories make everything. When I die, I won't likely care about if I was late on a few reports growing up... I'll be remembering the times and conversations I had that may have made my day, made me smile... whatever. "Well, get your homework done and you can have good memories! But only after schoolwork." Education, I realize, is important. And I honestly believe I'm getting an excellent one! However, I'd much rather be social than worry about getting a Civil War report in on time or something like that. I'd like to end with a poem I found online- Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round, or listened to rain slapping the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight, or gazed at the sun fading into the night? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. Do you run through each day on the fly, when you ask "How are you?", do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed, with the next hundred chores running through your head? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow, and in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a friendship die, 'cause you never had time to call and say hi? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, it's like an unopened gift thrown away. Life isn't a race, so take it slower, hear the music before your song is over. ~Maddie Last week I tested for my orange belt with a black stripe. On the test, I had to do all of
my forms and technique. The test was long, and near the end of the test we did some sparring. At the end of the test, I was awarded a purple belt! A purple belt is one level higher than the belt I was testing for. I was very happy! Ashleigh "The world is round and the place that may seem like the end, may also be the beginning." That's a quote by Ivy Baker Priest. Ivy has two claims to fame. First she was treasurer of the United States during the Eisenhower administration ('53 - '61). Her second claim to fame is that she was the mother of Pat Priest, the actress who played Marilyn Munster on the TV show The Munster's during the 1960's. Not to digress too much, but I loved that show! The family car was likely the coolest car to ever grace a TV show. Below is a picture of the car and Pat Priest. To get back to Ivy, she had some other good quotes too. She seemed to be a very intelligent woman. Here are some of her other quotes: "We women don't care too much about getting our pictures on money as long as we can get our hands on it.""We seldom stop to think how many people's lives are entwined with our own. It is a form of selfishness to imagine that every individual can operate on his own or can pull out of the general stream and not be missed." “I'm often wrong, but never in doubt.” One last thought on Ivy... I would have loved to be in the room when she went home and announced that she was marrying a Priest! Okay, I'm sure the parents likely knew who she was dating, but if they didn't and she played it with a straight face that would have been hilarious! Well, now that you likely know more about Ivy Baker Priest than you ever wanted to know, let's go back to her thoughtful quote. I think we have all been to that place deep inside us when we felt we had reached the end. Whether that end was for a relationship, a career or even just another stage of your life, it didn't matter. The feeling of hopelessness was there and if you are now reading this, then you survived... and found a new beginning. And THAT is the beauty of Ivy's quote. The simple truth of it.
New beginnings are all around us. They only disappear when you die. Three times in my life I have felt a sense of hopelessness. Each time, my rational mind told me that life will go on and things will get better... and they did. But each time my emotions did what they could to make it tough on me. The last time this happened was with my wife's illness, and her eventual death. A lot was going on in my life then. My wife was ill and living away from home. I was raising two children on my own, (one just a baby) and my business was slowly failing. I was running through my retirement money at a prodigious rate and it looked like nothing was going to get better. Near the end of it, my wife died. I always believed that things couldn't get any worse, and yet, they did. My wife's death was the high-water mark on the craziness. Slowly, a new beginning began and I am only in the early innings of a new game. Things slowly began to get better. I was able to sell my second house in New Jersey, my Mom moved up to New Hampshire to help me with the girls, and I took a good paying job that allowed me to work from home. While none of these things were in my long-term plan, the opportunities presented themselves and my logical mind allowed me to see the possibilities, no matter how poorly I was doing emotionally. The world is round and our lives are cyclical. Anywhere we may be can be a new beginning, if we are open to it. Just don't give up. There is a lot of beauty in the world. You just need to be open to seeing it. Live your life. Look for opportunities. Think about them logically, and don't be afraid to grasp that new beginning if and when it does appear. In the end, no one can say where their next new beginning will start, or where anything will truly end. Live your life, look for opportunity, and have the courage to start at a new beginning. "We do not remember days; we remember moments." is a quote from Cesare Pavese. Pavese was an Italian author, antifascist and communist who committed suicide in 1950. He was, at the time, viewed as one of Italy's best writers. Even so, without that quote, I never would have known who he was. Some people are best left to obscurity!
At any rate, I think Pavese was spot on with his quote... thank you Captain Obvious! We don't really remember days do we. Instead, we remember moments from those days that had a big impact on us. Think of 9/11/2001, for instance. We remember the date, but do we really remember the day? I can tell you bits and pieces from that day, but that's it. I can't tell you what time I woke up, or what I had for breakfast. In fact, I can't tell you a lot about that day, other than what I was doing at the moment I heard about the twin towers and what I thought about then. I remember I was working in my backyard pulling weeds from a flower bed, when I heard a large boom. We lived in Pennington back then, which is about 50 - 60 miles from New York by road. Likely closer by how the crow flies. When I heard the boom, I remember thinking that they must have been blasting at the quarry up the road. That wasn't the case though. Soon after I heard it, my wife came to get me and told me my dad had called and said to turn on the TV, a plane had hit one of the twin towers. I remember going through the basement door and down the stairs to the TV and watching the news. My mom was over the house helping us with one of our many projects since we had just bought the house and were remodeling it ourselves. My wife, was 8 months pregnant with our first child. If those tragic moments in New York had not happened, I likely would not remember anything from that day. Everything we were doing was just too ordinary. Instead, two planes blast into the world trade center, another hits the pentagon and one more crashed in Pennsylvania and all of a sudden, I remember what I was doing at that moment. I also remember what I was thinking at the time. Buildings don't have to collapse to create a moment to remember. In fact, most of my memories are pleasant. Sure some arguments make it into the old memory slots...but most of what I remember is pleasant. The sound of wind blowing through the trees while I am hiking in the fall...the tug on the line when I hook into a nice-sized fish. My daughter grabbing my finger right after she is born and she is just being handed to me by the nurse. She was so small...I was afraid I would hurt her by accident because she was so small and I was big and had rarely held a baby before. Then Maddie grabbed my finger, and I knew how gentle I had to be. My life is made of moments. Others can remember the import of a date. I'll hold my moments. Grabbing my wife's hand on the beach that night many years ago. Holding her as she took her final breaths. The joy of bringing my daughters into the world. The grief in having my wife die too damn soon. These are the moments that make up my life. And live in my memories. Little glimpses of smiles, words said in jest...or in all seriousness. These are the things that we cling to. They bring joy to us in the future when someone brings them up, or sadness if we reflect on the sorrowful ones when we are alone too much. Let historians remember the day...and distort truth to fit their world view. I'll remember the moments that have meaning to me. Laughter among friends, a good meal with family and learning something new while reading a book all stay in my head. Thoughts of people I once knew and who meant the world to me, who I have now not seen in over forty years. The moments are there, but the dates are not. Think back on your life, and then think about history. Stuffed with facts, figures, and exact dates. Tell me, how much of it do you think is bullshit? Probably most of it. Yet its there, and I will loosely teach it to my daughters...but more so to use as context for other lessons I've rambled enough here. To put it in perspective, my life is made up of many moments. The exact dates are unimportant. Sometimes dates are important (you never want to forget a child's birthday!). Most are not. Can I tell you the exact date I bought the house I now sit in? Nope. In fact, I can't even tell you the year. It's just not important to me. I am here now and there are more important things to remember than a specific day or year. Remember the meaningful moments in your life, both good and bad and you will go far towards living a fulfilled life with few regrets. Yes, you read that correctly- I don't identify love. All of my friends are at the age where they are getting into relationships and crooning over their significant other, holding hands, kissing and calling it love. While I have a boyfriend... I don't identify love because I believe it is impossible to know what it is at such a young age.
I'm 13, almost 14. I see this as a time for me to explore my interests and see what traits I like in people and date around, trying different types of people. Am I tied down? No, not in any way! I stay loyal in relationships, but I won't stay in them if I have a stronger attraction to someone else because in my eyes, that's wrong. I don't want to connect myself so deeply to someone this young where if we breakup, I'll end up hurt like some of my friends. While I see dating at this age as this sort of "trial run", I have other friends who have only been in one relationship and after a rocky breakup, say they will never love again. No... Stop... You're FOURTEEN. Some douchebag you weren't even dating for a full year should not impact you that much. Yes, I get it, you "loved" him... But was it really love if it wasn't reciprocated? He left, didn't he? That isn't love... And that is what makes me question if love even CAN be defined. I think everyone will know it, TRULY know it, when they find it... And I think everyone has to define it for themselves. I honestly don't think that love can even BE defined until engagement or marriage, and even then there is the potential that a person could leave... So maybe we will never know. A lot of people live in an illusion of love, thinking that it is just the outlying obvious shows of affection that make it what society has sculpted it into. But from what I've seen so far in my short lifespan, love is when you would give your all for what's best for the one you love. You protect them and support them; but don't let them damage themselves. And most importantly perhaps, I think love is being able to talk about literally anything and not getting frustrated with each other. That's about as far as I've gotten with "love". And I can tell you now that I won't know what it really is for a while.... And I won't claim to before I do. To my friends- go on, get into short-term relationships... Believe it is love, and tear yourselves down when it doesn't work out. I guess it's just a learning process. ~Maddie Today I read Biscuit Meets The Class Pet. The class pet's name is Nibbles. Nibbles is a
rabbit. Nibbles hops around the house and finds Biscuit's bone, ball, and blanket. Biscuit chases Nibbles, and Nibbles gets lost. In the end, Biscuit found Nibbles. Ashleigh Today I read another new Biscuit book. It is Biscuit's Birthday. The book is about Biscuit's
birthday and the party the little girl gives him. Daisy and Puddles attend the party. They have nice treats. Biscuit receives a new collar and a bone. His best gift was a big box of biscuits. I guess you can say it was biscuits for Biscuit! Ashleigh |
Archives
September 2021
Categories
All
|