Rules to live by...We all have them. Some people have better rules than others, but we all have them, whether we realize it or not. Below are the rules I try to live by. Have they changed since I was in my twenties? Sure. I have grown as a person, and things that were important to me back then, are not exactly the same things that are important to me now. Without further ado, My list:
1. To thy own self be true - In other words, be honest with yourself. To paraphrase Shakespeare, "All the world's a stage and we all wear many masks." To my daughters, I am their father...to my Research Director, I am an analyst. To some, I am sensei, to others a stranger, a client, a patient or even a man walking by them in a store. I am all these things, yet underneath it all I am me. To be true to myself, means that the decisions I make while "wearing" one mask, shouldn't go against the values I live by while playing my other roles. 2. Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated - This one I think holds true for everything you do in life. The only area in my life where this doesn't hold entirely true is when I am sometimes fighting at the dojo. There, we have sparring hard or going easy. When I spar "hard" I like to hit hard, although I must say I try to avoid getting hit hard back in return. There are still rules, of course, (no direct shots to the face (the chin is NOT part of the face!) no groin shots, etc., but you do get to put some power in your punches! It's lots of fun, and I recommend everyone try it sometime. Aside from then, I try to treat everyone with kindness and respect...because that is how I like to be treated. 3. Try to be happy - Life is too short to do otherwise! Too many go through life worrying about what others think about them. Whether or not they have a "cool" car or the "right" cell phone. Whether or not this one or that one likes them and on and on. In the end, who really cares! What do you favor? That is what really counts! Some people also don't seem happy unless they are doing something "big". literally say they hate their life! They hate their job or the weather, or even the people around them...yet they have nothing but glowing things to say about their last trip to Mexico or the Bahamas. My advice to these people is that if they like it there so much, and hate it here, then they should move there. That way they will be happier. I usually get blank stares in return and then the phrase, "I can't do that because (fill in the blank)." Yep, all talk, no walk. The fact is that if they can only be happy when something "Big" happens (such as a vacation) then they will rarely be happy. Instead, I recommend looking to the little things for happiness...hugs from my daughters... a good workout at the dojo...a good cup of coffee. I also try to experience these things somewhere where I can be happy. I know you CAN move to where you will be happier, because I did. Seven years ago, I moved from New Jersey to New Hampshire because I thought it would be a better place to raise my kids and I love to be around nature. In the end, it was a great move and rarely a day goes by when I don't enjoy a view of the mountains or a lake. Does that mean that I am never sad, or that bad things don't happen to me? No, I'm human. Bad things do happen still, Since moving to New Hampshire, my wife has died in my arms and I have closed a business that I had built for ten years. Bad things do happen. How we handle what happens to us and where we look for our happiness makes all the difference, however. I try not to dwell on the past. I look for my little bits of happiness each day, and I try to cultivate friendships with those who add to my happiness. 4. Be honorable - Face it, no one likes a liar, thief or bully. Be honest with people and be honest with yourself. Be kind and live and let live. If everyone followed these rules, the world would be a better place. The best place to start the process is with yourself. I find it best to limit my association with people who don't follow these rules. Like I said earlier, life is too short to surround yourself with liars and fools. Expect from others exactly what you yourself do. If others don't meet this standard, then don't associate with them! I find my life is more pleasant when I am not wondering whether so and so is lying to me. Surround yourself with people you can trust, and you will be happier. 5. Lead by example - Part of the problem with the world today is that our "leaders" don't really lead. They pontificate. They like to tell you what rules and laws you need to follow while having a second set of rules for themselves. It's the same with many of the "leaders" of our non-profit organizations. Only your time or money will help the poor or the animals, or the environment...meanwhile these "leaders" are getting paid handsomely for their time. Personally, I believe that if you want to really help the poor, or the environment, or the animals, then get out and do it in your own area! There are a lot of people that need help. You don't need a large organization to point them out to you. Open your eyes! Lend a hand where you can see the results of your labor...or cash if you don't have the time. In my life, particularly where it concerns my daughters, I try to lead by example. I have both of my daughters take karate so that they will be better able to protect themselves if they ever need to. I also find it is a healthy lifestyle for them to follow. Given that's the case, I too started karate. I try not to ask my daughters to do anything that I won't do myself. If I expect them to live a healthy lifestyle, exercise and avoid drugs and alcohol, then I damn well better do it too! Hypocrites suck! I never make my daughters do anything that I either haven't or won't do myself. Lead by example. That's what I try to do. Wayne
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