I like to do a lot of things. I like to play with Daddy, and I like to eat hot dogs. I also like to play tug-of-war with the dog, and play with my sister. These things are all fun to do, but I also do things that I need to do too. Sometimes, what I like to do and what I need to do are the same things! And that is the best of both worlds!
Ashleigh
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"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” That is a quote by Annie Dillard. Dillard is an American author who won a Pulitzer prize in 1975 for general nonfiction. I like her quote because it is short, to the point, and on target.
How we spend our days is ultimately how we spend our lives. The quote makes me stop and think about how I am spending my day. Too much of my day is spent working for others. Not enough is spent on what is truly important... teaching my daughters, exploring the world and generally keeping the people I care about happy. Although everyone has to work to survive, I am painfully aware of the time I spend working for others, likely because I once spent over a decade working for myself. When you work for yourself, the hours you spend are actually bringing you all of the benefits of that work. When you are working for someone else, they are deriving all of the extra benefit from your work above and beyond whatever they are giving you to do the work in the first place. So how do you want to spend your life? And how close are you to living your life in the way you want? After reading the above quote, I asked myself that question. I want to spend my life enjoying my daughters' company, hiking the Appalachian trail, practicing karate and learning. Short bouts of reading, sleeping, and watching the occasional movie would also be nice. So how am I doing? I spend a lot of my day working for someone else, and an hour or two teaching my daughters. Ashleigh gets traditional school work from me, while Maddie now gets most of her schooling through VLACs and instead gets (what I hope are) deep conversations from me to help her learn to cope with life. Twice a week, I get to work out and practice karate. In between, I try to get little jobs done around the house and generally do everything else that normally needs to be done during a lifetime. Sometimes I combine these functions. When I hit the men's room, I'll pick up a book and read a chapter or two before I come out. Otherwise, I find I do not schedule enough time to read. RIght before bed, I will also pick up a book and read for a few pages. My bathroom book is different than my bedroom book, thus I can often read one to two books a week. Another way I combine activities is that when I come in from outside, I make sure to hit my punching bag a little bit. It is rare that I can schedule a full thirty minutes on the bag anymore. I am just too busy. Thus, by making sure to punch it or kick it a couple of times as I walk past, I am sure to get at least a little practice in each day. In the end, the one constant in my life is that I always try to make time for my daughters. Children are the most important things that anyone can do in their life in my opinion. Why have them if you won't schedule time to enjoy their company. The bar can wait. Your old friends can wait. Hell, the job can wait! Enjoy your children while you can! Because pretty soon, they will be enjoying their own children. (picture by Maddie) Yesterday I read a book called ''Magic Matt and the Jack-o-Lantern''. Once there was a boy named Magic Matt. He had a magic wand. He wanted a jack-o-Lantern, but his wand only made a Jack-in-the-box, and a boy. The boy's named was Jack, and he had magic seeds. The seeds grew, and grew, and grew! The two friends climbed the big plant that came from the seeds. When they got to the top, they saw a big castle with a jack-o-Lantern inside. There was also a giant. The boys climbed back down the plant, but the giant does too. Matt got rid of the giant and the plant with his wand. He didn't get rid of Jack, though, because he was now in the jack-o'- lantern!
Ashleigh Earlier on today, I got into an interesting talk with a friend of mine about life. During this talk, he stated that he loved to prepare for things; to be prepared for life... and that it tended to cause him discomfort when he wasn't. I refuted his statement softly at the time; and told him to simply take life a day at a time and try not to let the bigger picture bother him... but I'd like to get a point across in this blog post.
You cannot prepare for life. You can try and try as hard as ever; but life will always find a way to completely screw you up. I know this firsthand. Now this isn't to say that you can't have goals, and make preparations to work towards those goals. Because that- that is possible. If you have a set goal, you can prepare for it. If you know something in advance, you can prepare for it. Life- all we know is that it is constant, and will continue to happen to us until we inevitably die. You can prepare for moments in life, but you can't prepare for life itself. I think that's all I'm really trying to say here- and I'm also trying to drill home my constant idea that worrying about the future will do nothing but cause you stress in the present and make life all that more uncomfortable for you. Take life as it comes to you; and set goals to work towards. That's the way to succeed. -- Maddie "“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms." That's a quote by C. Jo Bell. I think she is a self-published author, since I could not find out too much about her. In fact, when I looked her up, it said she was "best known for her love of cake, especially that of the red velvet nature." I guess if you are going to be known for something, that's as good as anything else.
At any rate, I liked her quote. It was a bit longer than what I show, but I drew the line at letting my kids ride the subway on their own. Maddie could likely do it... she is old enough, although I think she would be very uncomfortable doing it being she grew up in a rural setting. Ashleigh is just too small and young, though, and I would likely have a heart attack from worry if she was off on the subway on her own. I think the best thing we can do for our children is to teach them to think for themselves. While they are young, that entails teaching them how to think. Too many people nowadays don't seem to know how to think logically. Instead, they let their emotional response guide everything they say and do. To me, that isn't thinking. That is reacting. Reacting is good if you are in a life or death situation. You are crossing the street and a car comes speeding around the corner. You quickly run out of the way! That is a reaction. It is okay to react in a situation like that without thinking. In fact, you'd be crazy not to. But there are other situations where it is better to think first. And it is in these situations where we, as a nation, are failing our youth. Instead of teaching logic and critical thinking in our schools, we teach touchy-feely reactions. In fact, much of what passes for history nowadays is just a collection of dates and names, with a one-sided story of why it happened. The schools go out of their way to make sure everyone feels good about what happened. Heroes and villains are described in black and white. Never in the shades of grey that were actually closer to the truth. I am not just trying to pick on history classes here. I am just trying to point out that if we don't make an effort to teach our children to think critically, we should never expect them to be able to do it when they are an adult. If we really want to make the world a better place, then we need to start teaching our children to think critically and logically. Once they have a background in that type of thinking, then by all means allow them to do things for themselves and make their own choices. I try to give my girls freedom commensurate with their maturity level. Notice I did not say age. I know adults that I give less trust to than my 14-year-old daughter! Age does not make maturity. Logical thinking does. Teach your children to think logically, and then allow them some semblance of freedom and watch their lives blossom. "Live to the point of tears" is a quote by Albert Camus. Albert was a philosopher and journalist, best known for opposing nihilism and helping to develop the philosophy known as absurdism. To tell you the truth, I don't know what to think of Camus> He was a socialist and a philanderer, and while he seems to have had some good ideas... I don't think he lived them. Instead, he just seemed to have paid lip service to them.
To get back to his quote, Camus held the position that life had inherent worth, even if it had no inherent meaning. He could not find meaning in life. But to him that was its beauty. His quote above is essentially saying live life to its fullest. Don't look for meaning, for you may be disappointed to find there was none. Instead, life went on in spite of the lack of meaning. And to Camus, that was its beauty. So many people relate tears to sadness, that they forget that tears happen with nearly all emotions. Happiness, anger, joy melancholy. Hell sometimes I just cry when I am thinking. What Camus is saying is to experience life to its fullest. The meaning of life is thus then different for everyone. There is no right or wrong. There is just life. And to experience it to its fullest is the only meaning one needs to find. The meaning in Camus' life was surely different than the meaning I find in mine, or you find in yours. While there may be similarities between the meanings in peoples' lives. Meaning is subjective to our experiences. And since we all experience things in different ways, its highly likely that the meaning of most emotionally loaded words will be different for us all. Live to the point of tears my friends. And enjoy the ride! Today I read a new book called ''Barbie and the magic of Pegasus''. One day Annika was ice-skating. Her Dad, the king, and her mother, the queen, were very upset that she had run away. One night she went out skating again. This time, she met Wenlock, a mean wizard. Wenlock had a wand and pointed it at everyone and turned them into stone.
Just then, a flying horse named Brietta, came from the sky. Brietta took Annika and flew to a place called the Cloud Kingdom where they met a girl called the Cloud Queen inside. The Cloud Queen told Annika that she needed to defeat Wenlock and turn her family back to normal. She told her that she can only defeat Wenlock with the Wand of Light. She also told her that it was made from a measure of courage, a gem of ice lit by Hope's eternal flame and a ring of love. Annika and Brietta went through many traps. They were captured in a net and trapped in an ice gully. Each time they worked their way out of trouble, they found a piece of the wand. The friends found a cave filled with blue gems they and they each took one. One of them was the gem they needed for the wand, and they went out to defeat Wenlock. They beat him and Brietta turned back into Annika's sister and their parents were returned to normal.. Ashleigh So many people walk about, living their lives for others. They care only what people think of them- how they are perceived by the public eye. Why is it so important? I've never quite understood. Looking at me, I suppose you could say I am the same. I follow trends, right? But then again, everything is a trend. Nothing is unique any more. No matter what you do, there will always be someone to copy you, or someone who has the same idea. It can be quite discouraging... thinking you lack individuality.
But you don't. You as a person are unique. You cannot be replicated, no one is exactly like you. And no matter how hard you may try, you can never be anyone else. You can try as you might to follow the crowd around you, but you can't escape yourself. You will always have your own mind, your own way of thinking that nothing can change. You will be yourself. So many people spend their lives trying to be what they aren't, only to realize on their deathbed that they wasted their time being miserable at the expense of others. I never want to be like that. I want to live my life how I wish to live it; and I want to be happy. I don't care how many people try to pin labels on me; or what stereotypes I get caught in. I am determined to be happy. I am determined to make my life's purpose happiness- both being happy; and making others happy. I CHOOSE happiness. I CHOOSE to be happy with who I am. I choose to follow the bits of the crowd that I like- because the bits compose me. I am unique. And I live to express. As long as I am happy... I really don't care what others think. Maddie July 4th is in 7 days. I'm having a party on July 4th. To come to the party, guests must only wear red, white, and blue. Daddy can wear his blue Jeans and a blue, or red, or white shirt. I'm going to wear my blue dress to the party. All of my dolls are dressed already for my party.
Ashleigh I really appreciate this quote... particularly in today's society. Recently, I had a long talk with my dad about culture and societal norms of today and we ended up talking about how everyone seems to follow the crowd. It's true, everyone seems to feel the need to go along with whatever trends pop up... and while I certainly won't say I don't from time to time, there's some pretty serious "trends" that aren't any good. My least favorite is one that has existed for a long time, and comes in a dangerous form: alcohol.
My friends have recently been getting to the ages where they think drinking and partying are just the BEST ways to spend time (some friends, anyway.. not all) and it honestly saddens me that drinking is such a norm that if you choose to NOT drink, you'll be made fun of for it. So many people think it's funny to get drunk, or something to be proud of... it's not. It's a horrible addiction that claims 88,000 lives on average per year... and consumes 2.5 million years of potential life per year. 2.5 MILLION. Let that sink in. That is how freaking harmful it is. My friends are well aware that I despise alcohol and anything to do with it; so most of them will stay off of the subject when talking to me. That, I don't really care about. If they want to go make poor choices in their own time, I certainly can't stop them... but I want no part in it which they know and respect. For those who do choose to argue it with me... they can sometimes end up receiving quite the lecture. Don't get me wrong. I know that culture is culture, and there's little I can do to change it... but I don't tolerate stupidity very well. I've heard all sorts of stupid arguments about alcohol, but my least favorite is "well it's just a little, it won't hurt" or "it's just one time, it won't hurt". Oh really? How do you think addiction starts? Do you think a person rolls out of bed one day and just decides to be an alcoholic? No. It grows over time, starting with "just one" and escalating over time. The more you drink, the higher tolerance you get to alcohol. As you get a higher tolerance, it takes more alcohol to get drunk and THAT is what most will fail to see. People don't take tolerance into account, and it leads them right into the claws of addiction. By the time a person realizes how bad they've gotten (if they even do), they've essentially dug their own grave. The sad thing about alcohol (aside from its deadly side effects) is that it alters a person. I've seen friends completely change because of alcohol and how it messes with their mind; and due to that have cut them off. It's horrible to experience; but it's even worse to watch a good friend go down the road and know there's nothing you can do to stop them. So many people feel pressured to drink alcohol because everyone else does. They'll be at a party and get offered a drink, and if they turn it down may get humiliated for it. Having a fucking brain shouldn't be seen as shameful. Unfortunately, that's how bad things have gotten. When it comes to alcohol, in my opinion, there is no such thing as "in moderation". Even "in moderation" it can be harmful... because it'll only grow. This brings us to the quote I chose to headline this post- the most courageous thing you can do is still speak your mind out loud. In today's world, it takes a lot to go against culture- particularly such a large part of it as drinking. I can tell you from experience that it DOES take a lot of courage to be able to tell your friends you're entirely against their lifestyle. It's hard to lose friends over beliefs so foolish. It's even harder to be called a moron when you're making a smarter choice than everyone else. But in the end... it's worth it. I'd rather be a social outcast than put poison into my body. Rant over. Maddie "The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live." That's a quote by Norman Cousins.Cousins was a famous journalist and newspaper editor for more than three decades. You may know one of his more famous quotes: "Life is an adventure in forgiveness.
To tell you the truth, I could have easily written about either of these quotes. I'll stick with the first one, though. It is easy to understand. Death itself is not a tragedy. It is a part of life. In fact, death really isn't anything for the people it is happening to.. they are dead. The tragedy is usually for the people left living. My wife, for example, was a tragedy for me and my daughters. For her, it was just the end of her life. A tragic end of her life for us, but just a lack of existence for her. I can't say this for my daughters, but I know it holds true for me. A part of me died on the night that Sharon passed away. I held her for six hours while her life slowly ebbed away. Many thoughts went through my head that night. Thoughts I knew I would no longer be able to share with her. Her smile, her laugh, other things she did that I just took for granted. They would be there tomorrow. Until they weren't. I thought about those things... and others while I listened to the death rattle in her breathing. I thought of my daughters and how they would never learn things from her that were usually a right of passage for girls to learn from their mothers. How they wouldn't have an understanding female ear there to listen to their hopes and dreams as they grew, or to give them other types of womanly advice. I thought of plans Sharon and I had that were now never going to come to fruition. So yes, these things died within me on that night. But at the same time other things were born within me to take the place of those dying dreams. I redoubled my effort to make sure my girls always had someone to talk to... even though I was a man. I changed the path of my life to make sure I could remain at home to home school them and make sure they got the type of education that I wished I had gotten when I was younger. Like a Phoenix, new dreams sprang forth from the ashes of the old to replace the ones that die. So I guess in looking at the quote, he is right that some things will die inside us. But I think the real tragedy would be in not replacing those things that died with new dreams. Everyone dies. And we all at one point or another have some of our dreams shattered. The real tragedy would be in not replacing those dreams with something else you can live with. Grandma's Pocket Book has a lot of stuff in it. Her pocket book is blue and has pockets on either end. The pockets usually hold gum. Grandma's usually carries sun glasses, an addressbook, car keys, tissues, and pens. It is always very heavy!
Ashleigh I like a lot of animals. I like dolphins leapers cat's dog's horses and kimono dragons. I have seen a leopard in a book. I have seen cats and dogs in real life. As you know, I have a dog named Lucky. I play with Lucky and I feed Lucky. He loves food!
Ashleigh I'd like to apologize for not having posts up over the past two days. Our internet provider upgraded their system, and somehow, our internet was blown out. They finally figured out what went wrong and finished it this afternoon.
I work from home on the internet, and I went to Keene for 2 days with my work computer to get work done. I stayed in a hotel, which was very nice for what it was. If you need a reasonably-priced room in Keene, try the Best Western. The staff there is nice and the clientele are quiet! Anyway, I am still behind on work, so I am going to keep this one short. I will try to get three posts out on the weekend in case you really missed your Mountain Rant fix! The girls will also be writing, so keep your eyes open. They had a nice two-day break from school work, so they should be ready to go! (Hint, hint girls!) This is another appreciation post- I write them every so often, but I always feel unsatisfied by the end of them. I can never put all my thoughts and appreciation into words; and the person I'm writing about certainly deserves every bit of praise I can give him. I'm writing about my dad, if you haven't figured it out yet- and this post is addressed directly to him.
Dad, I want to write this to say thank you for everything... because no matter how much I thank you, it will never be enough for all you've done. Not only for me, but for my sister and honestly our family in general. You're so considerate, smart, kind, logical, funny... I could go on and on, but I'm pretty sure you already know how awesome you are. In this post, I wouldn't like to carry on about all the trivial bull that you constantly hear. I'd like to thank you for being there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. It means the world to me that you take so much time out of your day for me to help me out with whatever seems to be troubling me on that day. You have no idea how nice it is to have someone who understands how I think and feel so well... when so many people have no idea. It can be hard at times, having no one to relate to. But I truly believe that sometimes you have to open your eyes, and the person who understands you best is right in front of you. Thank you so much for teaching me to think logically, and for teaching me the respect I need to guide me safely through many friendships. Thank you for also teaching me acceptance and forgiveness... and moreover, teaching me that I am capable of more than I tend to believe I am. Your support and kind words of wisdom don't go un-thought of. I love you. Thank you. -- Maddie Today I read a new book called ''Winnie the Pooh Everyone is special''. Tigger did not wan't his stripes he wan'ted to be like everyone else. They covered him with paint, but when he took a bath it came off. He took a mud bath but when the mud dried up he was like a statue. He tried a honey dip, but it didn't work. After they put it on him, he was chased by bees. But then he noticed that everyone liked his stripes. Owl likes his stripes. Rabbit likes them, and Kanga likes them too. Tigger decided he liked his stripes too.
Ashleigh "Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life." That's a quote by Walter Anderson. Well, part of a quote actually. Walter was getting a little wordy so I just distilled his words a little bit. There are a lot of Walter Anderson's out there, and I am not sure which one said this. I doubt it was the tax evader, but it might have been the CEO of Parade Magazine. Or one of about ten other famous Walter Anderson's!
To get back to the quote, bad things do happen to all of us. Oftentimes, those things do have a way of shaping our personalities a bit. But, no matter what happens, you ultimately are the one who decides who you are going to be and how you act. So many people want to blame others for their own shortcomings. They blame lying on how they were brought up, or backstabbing "because the person deserved it!" Truly, this is not the case though. God gave all of us choices. We all know right from wrong. The decisions are ours. Same thing with how we treat others and how we view the world. The decisions are ours. My wife died three years ago. It would have been very easy to just go around all depressed and generally be miserable. God knows I felt it for a long time! But that would not have been good for me, my daughters, or my friends. What good would it have done any of us if I walked around miserable? I made a conscious decision to be happy. To find the little things that could make me happy on a daily basis, and to celebrate those things. I go out of my way to do something enjoyable every day. Whether it is enjoying a cup of coffee, playing with Ashleigh, chatting with Maddie, or chit-chatting with my Mom over dinner. I workout hard two times a week, and make sure to read a little bit of fun stuff each day. There are other things I do also. I block people on Facebook who whine and complain and I try to avoid people who bring me down. I also try to avoid working out with people who don't add any effort to their workouts! These are little things, but I find they keep me happy. I honestly believe that God did not put us here to suffer. He also did not put us here to make others miserable. I try to treat all people with at least a modicum of respect, and I try to teach my daughters to do the same. Bad things do happen in life. And occasionally, they happen to good people. Don't let those things define you though. Grow past them! Remember the good times! Forgive those who caused the bad! Celebrate and remember the good times and special moments. And try to forget the pain. I have always had a high tolerance for physical pain. In general, my tolerance is high because I have learned to recognize the pain, and then put it in the back of my mind and ignore it. Focusing on the pain won't help me to function any better. Thus, when I have a choice, I recognize the injury, and then do my best to work around it as if it doesn't exist. I try to do this with emotional pain, too. It is a little bit harder to do with that though. When I think of my wife, I try to remember the good things about her, and try to forget the things that came from her addictions. Life is short. Don't spend time worrying about what you can't change. If something bad has happened. Make certain that it won't happen again to you, but then go on and live your life and not dwell on the past. That is what I am trying to do anyway. If I had a beard my beard would be fuzzy, just like daddy's. People might think i look weird with a beard. I would not look like a girl if I had a beard. I could shave my beard and then I would look like a girl again. If I had a beard, I would want it to grow really long!
Ashleigh This is so true... I love this quote a lot, particularly since it has some recent relevance in my life. In the past, I'll admit that I was guilty of building a LOT more walls than bridges. It got to the point that I'd be arguing with everyone and not only putting up walls, but torching down the bridges I had already established on top of that. I think that's where this quote goes wrong- it wastes time saying people should build bridges and not walls, but says nothing about leaving the bridges you've already made intact.
I'm sure I could list many things that my dad has taught me- but one of the most valuable, particularly recently, has been to simply not burn bridges. Stop talking to someone, yes- but try to leave things on at least neutral terms. In deeper reflection... maybe this quote isn't as true as I thought. Sometimes, walls are required. You need to distance yourself from certain people, but without burning the bridges you've already made. Burning bridges for no reason is just awful; as I've learned from experience... it's bad enough you're cutting the person off, there's no need to put salt in the wound. On the other hand, I do think that it's a waste to block everyone out and then refuse to move on and continue building bridges with others. THAT is how people become lonely; when they let their connections to others weigh them down and refuse to move on. Never let that happen... let go of the negative people in your life, but build bridges to positivity. Don't isolate yourself. -- Maddie It's a quote I'm sure so many people have heard throughout their life- and as you've probably heard it before, let me ask you: what do you automatically think of when you hear it? By that I mean, when you think of losing something, what do you think of?
If you're anything like me, you probably thought of losing something really good, something that made you feel really happy... even a person. When I first read it, honestly, my first thought was my mom and how I always took time with her for granted, thinking I had a lifetime to enjoy with her and never fully realizing the extent to which her illness affected her until it was much too late to do anything about. But that got me thinking- if everyone associates the quote with happiness... why can't it be associated with bad things, too? When I began applying the quote to negative instances in life, it actually hit me quite hard and made me step back and reflect. Sometimes, you don't know you're in pain, or depressed, or even in a really poor situation until you see how life can be without it. If you read this blog enough, you've probably read through some of my posts where I briefly discussed my depression and in one of them; I went as far as to say that I myself didn't realize how severe it was until I read back through one of my old blogs and read some of my poetry. It was only upon re-examining the past that I realized the extent to which it had gotten and how bad I had been compared to where I was at that point in time. Upon even CLOSER reflection; I can safely say that I am 1,000x happier today than I was even when I wrote the post about re-reading poetry. I guess the quote is right- sometimes, you really don't know what you have until it lessens or disappears all together. So many people live in pain for a good portion of their lives, not knowing a better life awaits if they ditch the burdens weighing them down... or even if they re-adjust how they're carrying said burden. Do not let your burden weigh you down into your grave. I've seen it happen before. -- Maddie |
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