When I was 1, I was too small to learn anything but my basic motor skills. When I was 2, I was slowly learning to read and speak. When I was 3, I learned that I had a love for karate. When I was 4, I learned that "stupid" was a bad word to be replaced with "silly". When I was 5, I learned that I could be friends with older people (my first friends were 7 and . When I was 6, I learned to be observant. When I was 7, I learned that even those I thought loved me most could lie while smiling at me. When I was 8, I learned to be cautious and protective. I also learned what it means to be an older sister. When I was 9, I learned anger, and to repress emotion until my breaking point. I learned what breakdowns were and how horrible they were. When I was 10, I learned about disappointment. I learned that people say a lot of things, but it doesn't make them true. When I was 11, I learned about loss. I learned about depression. I learned about making hard choices and I learned that you should never go to bed angry at the ones you love. When I was 12, I learned that you never fully can appreciate what you have until it is too late. I learned regret. I learned to mourn in silence so I didn't disrupt my family but I also learned to cry on my dad's shoulder at 3 am. When I was 13, I learned to forgive. I also learned that forgiveness will get you walked all over. I learned about emotionally abusive friendships and I learned that sometimes you can't be concerned about hurting others if they're hurting you more. I learned to truly internalize my depression. I learned to hide from everyone and wallow in sadness, running from my past rather than facing it. I learned that poetry was an outlet for pain. When I was 14, I learned that things can get better. I learned that life doesn't stop moving because shit happens, I learned that you must be the change you wish to see in the world. I learned to embrace my past and use it to help others... and myself. I learned what true friendship looks like and I endured a couple of foolish short-lived heartbreaks. I learned to cope with my depression and combat it. I learned that it is rain that grows flowers, not thunderstorms and that words are often forgiven and seldom forgotten. I learned to control my anger and my attitude and I learned compassion and empathy. Now I'm 15.... and after all I've been through.... I think I have finally learned to be happy. I have learned that life is what it is; it comes and goes and it has ups and downs but if you didn't have downs, you would simply be living your life in a straight line. I've learned now that my thoughts are everything and that a negative mind will get me nowhere. And I'm proud of myself. - maddie
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