For those of you visiting here from face book looking for my daughter's post that I highlighted, scroll down. It is the post entitled Happy Birthday! Ashleigh, Maddie and I all post thoughts here daily so the stories have a tendency to get pushed down the page rather quickly.
Well, I turned 49 yesterday, and I thought I'd use today's post to talk about changes that occur in all of us that just aren't apparent unless you stop and reflect. Some friends I have say that nothing ever changes and that their day to day life is just more of the same. I beg to differ. Changes occur in everyone's lives, it's just that the larger changes to our way of thinking take time to develop. When I was nine, it was important to me to build my baseball card collection and practice and watch sports. My days were filled by riding my bike, going to school and exploring the woods around my house, among so many other things. Summers were long, and school was boring. By nineteen, my priorities had changed. "Partying" was a way of life and having a girl friend to share my time and hopes and dreams with was high on my list of important things. School remained boring, but was useful in furthering my education anyway. History and English were two of my favorite subjects and I remember reading voraciously. At twenty-nine, change was still visible, yet seemed to be moving at a glacial pace. Yes, I was still into partying and dating, but new pursuits were driving my world view. I bought a house two years before and paying off the mortgage was high on my list of things to do with spare cash. I was out of school and building my career in finance was important to me. Learning remained a focus and I was constantly reading on a number of varied subjects, although I must admit that finance, history, classical literature and science fiction were predominant. My views on dating were also changing. I was no longer just looking for a pretty face to hang out with. I was now looking for someone to settledown with. At thirty nine I was in the midst of significant changes. Marriage and a child had brought major alterations to my life style. I no longer drank or smoked cigars and nor did I want to. I was laid off from a corporate job at Merrill Lynch and after a short stint at a hedge fund, I started my own consulting business. My focus was for providing for my family, enjoying their company, and building my business. It was around this time that I also started searching for something better. Although we were happy in our rural house in Western New Jersey, state and federal taxes were crushing, and traffic and overbuilding were beginningto become a drag. My business was strong and since it was internet based, we saw no reason to stay where it was crowded and expensive. It was at this point that we started exploring moving to New Hampshire to escape New Jersey's high taxes and find a better place to raise our child. Now I am forty nine and my life and goals have again altered. We moved to New Hampshire in late 2006. My wife's illness had gotten progressively worse over the years, although she hid it well. The severity of her condition came out while she was pregnant with our second child. Ashleigh was born two weeks premature and suffering from alcohol withdrawal. I took her home from the hospital when she was four days old and never looked back. My wife loved our children dearly, but she had become too sick to help with their upbringing. We divorced in 2011 for the safety of the children, and she died in August 2013. At forty nine, my life has changed radically. I continue to work from home, although I no longer have my own business. Oddly enough, I work for the same company now where I started my career. A friend, who has continued to work there for the past twenty years told me that they were now letting people work from home full time, so I applied to work from home and was graciously welcomed back. Sometimes in life things do move in a full circle! I work from home and home school my children. I try to teach them to pursue their dreams, but to also recognize and enjoy the little things in their life as the little things happen much more frequently than the larger events in life that many people equate with happiness. Am I happy? I don't know. I think so. I have good friends, goals, and two daughters who make me extremely happy. My Mom has moved in to help me with the girls now that my Dad has passed away and she is a tremendous help. Although I enjoy writing research, I now believe my calling is to educate my daughters and make sure that they know how to think for themselves. Do I see any more changes on the horizon? Always. Life is a journey, and you only grow by moving forward.
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