""Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute." That is quote by Edgar Allen Poe... In fact, Maddie used this quote in one of her blog posts earlier today. I wanted to touch upon this quote because I think he got it wrong. Not wrong exactly, but just not quite right.
Years of love can be forgotten in a minute, but I don't think it is driven by hatred. Instead, I think it can be driven by hurt, sorrow, despair, misunderstanding and fear. You see, I've seen it happen, and I know that while it can and does happen, that the love can still be remembered again and acted upon. My wife's illness once drove a wedge between me and her as well as with others in the family as well. Sharon's disease was complex, and difficult for an adult to understand let alone a child. Although her actions hurt her, and ultimately killed her, her action's also hurt other family members. We couldn't understand what made her drink, and her actions and the lies surrounding them definitely led to anger, pain and sorrow. At some points, those emotions would rise up and obscure the love that Sharon had for all of us. It sometimes blinded me to the pain that Sharon was in and the pain that our reactions had on her. You see, the pain worked both ways. We were hurting from her actions and the stress and emotions they brought out in us, and while we witnessed the physical pain her addictions were causing her. The emotional turmoil it was causing her was often overshadowed by our feelings about what was happening to our family. Resentment and anger would come to the forefront and become hard to overcome. Sometimes to the point where it obscured the years of love that were there hiding just beneath the surface. The love was being obscured by the pain that we were all feeling. Anger, and frustration would, at times, seep to the surface, and the years of love were forgotten for a time. To be honest, I think the emotional pain and suffering was felt by all. None of us were immune to its effects. We all suffered our own private hell. What times takes away, it can also heal. I think with closure, memory comes back. At first in trickles and small rivulets, finally in a torrent. While not all memories return, I think enough good ones come back to remind us that love was there, and that it can, with time, overcome despair, anger and sorrow. In the end, years of love cannot be forgotten. Obscured for a short time? Yes. But forgotten completely? I don't think so. In fact, I know so. So don't despair. No matter how much true love can be obscured and forgotten, with time the long years of love will be remembered... and bring comfort.
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