"Alter your life by altering your thinking" This is a bastardized quote by William James. James was an early psychologist and a philosopher. Sounds like my kind of guy! He was one of the first teachers of psychology in the United States. He taught at Harvard from 1873 - 1907, but only part of those years were devoted to psychology. He was a strong proponent of functionalism in psychology and pragmatism in philosophy.
I like his quote because it is both simple and true. Before you can make any lasting changes in your life, you need to change your way of thinking. There are two ways that your thinking can change.
The first way I call the "Shit Happens" way of changing your life. These happen to all of us, whether we want them to or not. A good example of this type of change in thinking happens when you age. When you were younger, you may have liked to spend your day running. As you aged, you grew tired more easily and now you only run two times a week to stay in shape. Another example might be that when you were younger you really wanted to be an archaeologist. Yet your first job had nothing to do with archaeology and you just stayed within the industry you started in and are now stuck doing a job that, while you are good at it, bores the hell out of you! The second way of changing your life is more meaningful, in my opinion. This is when you consciously decide that something needs to change in your life and you actually take steps to change it. There are two important parts to this type of change. First, you need to actually think that a change is necessary, but more importantly, you need to act on those thoughts! Alter your thinking and you will alter your life! Te key is you really have to think differently though, starting with the thought that I must act on my thoughts for them to have any chance of changing my life. This is true for both the most minor changes as well as the monumental ones. Do you find yourself unhappy because your friends are? Every once in a while this is okay, since no one's life is always perfect, but if you find that certain friends are always bringing you down because they are never happy, then you need to consciously make an effort to avoid them for a while! Look, it can be hard enough to remain happy when it is just your own emotions assaulting you. If someone else is constantly whining and depressed, it can affect all of your relationships. In those cases, it is best to take a step back and allow that other person to be miserable on their own. Remember, misery loves company. Let them find someone else who is miserable to commiserate with. If you find yourself thinking that that person is impacting your mood, then you need to pair up that thought with an action! Talk to that person. Tell them that you would prefer they put away their troubles when they are around you and enjoy themselves. If you find they cannot do that, then it is up to you to take action and distance yourself from them for a little while. Your happiness might depend on it! I think action is the key missing ingredient in the quote above. You can alter your thinking about everything, and it won't make a difference unless you take the logical action to go along with your change in thinking. Change your thinking, change your actions, and then inevitably, it will change your life. Not all actions will lead to big changes, so make sure that you set your expectations accordingly. Giving up one slice of pizza when you normally eat ten, won't lead to you losing weight. Eating one slice instead of ten always... might. In other words, make sure to have your actions match your expectations ahead of time so that you don't end up disappointed with your results.
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