I'm tired currently, and I have vacuuming to do. I also have a tournament tomorrow that I have to leave at 7:00 for... and that means waking up at 5:30 so I'm ready to go. I'm pretty excited; I miss my fellow karate mates. In any case, because of a lack of wanting to write I took the quote route, and looked up quotes from one of my favorite poets- Lang Leav. I actually recently ordered a book of her poetry, and am waiting for it now. Enough about that though- enjoy.
"If you want to know his heart, pay attention to what angers him. If you want to know his mind, listen for the words that linger in his silence. If you want to know his soul, look at where his eyes are when you catch him smiling." "Your love I once surrendered, has never left my mind. My heart is just as tender, as the day I called you mine. I did not take you with me, but you were never left behind." "There's a girl who smiles all the time, to show the world that she is fine. A boy who surrounds himself with friends, wishes that his life would end. To those who say they never knew- the saddest leave the least of clues." "Before I fell in love with words, with setting skies and singing birds- it was you I fell in love with first." "The sad thing is", she said "the moment you start to miss someone, you know they're already gone." "Her bow is drawn to worlds of dark, where arrows spring and miss their mark... she'll turn their heads, but not their hearts." "If you love me for what you see, only your eyes would be in love with me. If you love me for what you've heard, then you would love me for my words. If you love my heart and mind, then you will love me for all that I'm. But if you don't love my every flaw... then you mustn't love me, not at all." - maddie
0 Comments
Today I read a new book called ''Wake Me In Spring.'' One winter night, Bear was in a chair. He scratched his belly and said ''Time For Bed.''
Then mouse came out of his hole and said ''But Bear you will miss winter.'' Bear yawned and said, I am so sleepy. I don't care.'' Mouse said ''You will miss sleigh rides in the snow!'' But still Bear said ''I don't care! Mouse said ''You will miss hot chocolate in steaming cups,'' But Bear just rubbed his eyes and said the same thing, ''I don't care.'' Mouse cried ''You will miss ice skates on frozen lakes,'' But with no luck, ''Bear still said I don't care.'' Mouse tried one more time. He said ''You will miss snow men with carrot noses.'' But Bear just locked the door and said ''I don't care.'' Mouse did not say a word. Bear understood and gave mouse a hug that lasts all winter. So Bear brushed his teeth and mouse tucked him in and the next spring they had a very happy day. Ashleigh "Someone will always be 'confusing' if they aren't giving you the answers you want to hear."
Something that I absolutely hate is when people ask for your opinion on a matter, and then automatically get upset if you don't agree with them. If you're asking for my opinion... I am going to give you my opinion. I'll try to be as nice as I can with it, but I won't just tell you what you want to hear. Too many times, my friends ask me my opinion about debatable matters and get frustrated when I tell them my honest feelings. My friends can be so stubborn and headstrong about being right that they don't take into consideration the fact that they ASKED for my opinion, and they make an argument of nothing. It's because of this that I have a hard time voicing my opinion to people. My mind has been trained by others that anything I say will be shut down and turned into a pointless argument; so I tend to stay quiet on topics of debate, even if I may have a lot to contribute. This fear holds true in friendships and relationships as well... not only am I afraid to voice my opinion about debatable matters, I am also afraid of mentioning any problems I may see within friendships/relationships. I feel as though I'm just over-reacting, or that what I see isn't that big of a deal... even though it may be. This is because in the past, things I've had problems with due to my own past have been made out to be irrational and over-dramatic. So I've learned to clam up. Recently, I'm happy to say that I've been more vocal. I've brought up problems as politely as I can and I've ended a few emotionally abusive friendships that I let sit about too long. It's been better, in the long run. If you're like me and have a hard time speaking up, my best advice to you is to just go for it. You have to give yourself the extra push and just do it- and if those around you try belittling issues that you have with their behavior based on lack of their own experience, they shouldn't be in your life to begin with. Fill your life with positivity and people who understand you and respect you, not negative nancys. - Maddie "That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach." That is a quote by Aldous Huxley. Huxley is best known as the author of "A Brave New World" and "The Doors Of Perception". The Doors Of Perception recalls his experiences when taking a psychedelic drug, and was a book that had great influence on Jim Morrison. In fact, the book had such an impact on him that he named his rock band The Doors. How's that for trivia! Although I am sure that most true Doors fans already knew that. Anyway, Huxley was considered one of the greatest intellectuals of his time and was nominated for the Nobel Prize in literature in seven different years. While I am thinking about it, congratulations to Bob Dylan for winning the 2016 Noble Prize for literature. He won the award for ‘having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition’. The Swedish academy stated: “We’re really giving it to Bob Dylan as a great poet – that’s the reason we awarded him the prize. He’s a great poet in the great English tradition, stretching from Milton and Blake onwards. And he’s a very interesting traditionalist, in a highly original way. Not just the written tradition, but also the oral one; not just high literature, but also low literature.” Though Dylan is considered by many to be a musician, not a writer, Danius said the artistic reach of his lyrics and poetry could not be put in a single box. “I came to realize that we still read Homer and Sappho from ancient Greece, and they were writing 2,500 years ago,” she said. “They were meant to be performed, often together with instruments, but they have survived, and survived incredibly well, on the book page. We enjoy [their] poetry, and I think Bob Dylan deserves to be read as a poet.” I find it fitting to write about Aldous Huxley on the same day that Bob Dylan wins a Noble Prize because both men, in their own ways, called for social change. In fact, way back in 1958 Huxley gave a prescient warning about what he saw coming for the world in the future. Now, 58 years later, some of those predictions look startlingly accurate! Meanwhile, Dylan wrote songs in the sixties that called for social changes that also seem to be slowly gaining traction.
To get back to Huxley, after nearly sixty years, his words too are now history. Let's see what he was saying and if there is anything we should have learned. The quotes below come from an interview he did with Mike Wallace back in 1958. At that time Huxley stated that: 1."Technology, bureaucracy and Television will be used to enslave us." Huxley believed that: "we mustn’t be caught by surprise by our own advancing technology. This has happened again and again in history with technology’s advance and this changes social condition, and suddenly people have found themselves in a situation which they didn’t foresee and doing all sorts of things they really didn’t want to do." Specifically, on television he stated: " it is being used too much to distract everybody all the time. But, I mean, imagine which must be the situation in all communist countries where the television, where it exists, is always saying the same things the whole time; it’s always driving along. It’s not creating a wide front of distraction it’s creating a one-pointed, er…drumming in of a single idea, all the time. It’s obviously an immensely powerful instrument. ' There were a lot of other things that Huxley said too. Isaac Davis recently wrote an article about Huxley. Instead of just quoting from his article, follow this link to read it yourself Huxley It is rare that I ever just send my readers to another blog to read, but the article is well worth reading. In my opinion, Huxley was amazing. Now that you have read the article linked to above, I think you can see how self evident Huxley's quote to him. And remember, Brave New World was written in 1931. About 27 years before he gave that interview! Truly, He was a man ahead of his time. It's no wonder that his name often comes up when people speak of George Orwell, another writer of dystopian novels. He is best known for his book 1984. A Brave New World, 1984, and even Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand are all history now. Why not read them? And see if you can learn the messages these authors were trying to alert us to way back then. Guess what? I have a big surprise for you! But I'm not going to tell you what it is. Here are a few hints. It is in your mouth, you eat with them, and they always stay in your mouth. The big surprises is my teeth, two of them came out! And even better, adult teeth are coming in! There is one more surprise for you. My second tooth came out this morning.
Ashleigh Today is my daughter Madison's 15th birthday. We had a laid back morning, and then she went out with one of her friends for a few hours in the afternoon. At six, we went out to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate. There were five of us tonight since Maddie's boyfriend was also invited. Instead of a long wordy post, here are some of my favorite pictures of Maddie over the years. Enjoy! Tomorrow I will be back with one of my proper rants. Maddie took this picture this morning 2015 Black belt Sparring Champ Happy birthday Munchkin! May you have many more!
Guess what? Today is my sister's birthday! She is 15 and I have a lot more surprises for her. Here is some of them. I'm having a party tonight. There will be a cake, cupcakes, cookies, and lots more. If you are one of my friends, or Aunts and you know were I live hop right over But remember it is tonight.
Ashleigh
When I was 1, I was too small to learn anything but my basic motor skills. When I was 2, I was slowly learning to read and speak. When I was 3, I learned that I had a love for karate. When I was 4, I learned that "stupid" was a bad word to be replaced with "silly". When I was 5, I learned that I could be friends with older people (my first friends were 7 and . When I was 6, I learned to be observant. When I was 7, I learned that even those I thought loved me most could lie while smiling at me. When I was 8, I learned to be cautious and protective. I also learned what it means to be an older sister. When I was 9, I learned anger, and to repress emotion until my breaking point. I learned what breakdowns were and how horrible they were. When I was 10, I learned about disappointment. I learned that people say a lot of things, but it doesn't make them true. When I was 11, I learned about loss. I learned about depression. I learned about making hard choices and I learned that you should never go to bed angry at the ones you love. When I was 12, I learned that you never fully can appreciate what you have until it is too late. I learned regret. I learned to mourn in silence so I didn't disrupt my family but I also learned to cry on my dad's shoulder at 3 am. When I was 13, I learned to forgive. I also learned that forgiveness will get you walked all over. I learned about emotionally abusive friendships and I learned that sometimes you can't be concerned about hurting others if they're hurting you more. I learned to truly internalize my depression. I learned to hide from everyone and wallow in sadness, running from my past rather than facing it. I learned that poetry was an outlet for pain. When I was 14, I learned that things can get better. I learned that life doesn't stop moving because shit happens, I learned that you must be the change you wish to see in the world. I learned to embrace my past and use it to help others... and myself. I learned what true friendship looks like and I endured a couple of foolish short-lived heartbreaks. I learned to cope with my depression and combat it. I learned that it is rain that grows flowers, not thunderstorms and that words are often forgiven and seldom forgotten. I learned to control my anger and my attitude and I learned compassion and empathy. Now I'm 15.... and after all I've been through.... I think I have finally learned to be happy. I have learned that life is what it is; it comes and goes and it has ups and downs but if you didn't have downs, you would simply be living your life in a straight line. I've learned now that my thoughts are everything and that a negative mind will get me nowhere. And I'm proud of myself. - maddie "You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it." This is an old French proverb that really can't be attributed to any one person. I like it because no one really knows how there life is going to turn out, and the more little decisions you make, the greater the chance that one of them will be life changing. I have told the story of how my wife and I started dating on numerous occasions, so I won't bore you with a deep rendering of it here. In a nutshell, I invited her to a party at a beach house on the Jersey shore and told her to bring whoever she liked. At the time, I thought she was married, so when I said she could bring whoever she liked, I assumed she would bring her husband. When I invited her, I had no intentions of trying to date her since I knew she was married. It was just that a lot of the younger people on the floor were going to the party and I didn't want her to feel unwelcome or left out. I didn't expect her to come really and I was surprised when she called me for directions. It ends up her husband had died recently and she did not mention it to many people at work. When she came to the party she had a guy and another one of the administrative assistants with her. When I said, it was nice to meet your husband she said he wasn't her husband and that he had died recently. Well, I guess you can say that fate met me on the road unexpectedly that night! I was at the party looking for a girlfriend... I just didn't have any intention that it would be Sharon since I had thought she was married. To tell you the truth, The whole situation above reminds me of one of my favorite Robert Frost poems: The Road Not Taken. Frost writes about taking the path less traveled and how it changed his life. His final lines to the poem are: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. By not wanting someone to feel left out, and inviting them to a party with no expectations, I ended up finding a girl friend and eventually my wife. Meanwhile, on other nights, when I was actively trying to find a girl, I would oftentimes end up not meeting any with a real interest in me. Sometimes the path made to attain a goal is also a path where we meet the most resistance.
I find that fate works in fickle ways across all aspects of life. I know people who started a job for summer employment or just as a temporary gig to make some money, who then went on to make that industry their life-long career. I have also seen people change their entire lives after seeing something on TV or reading something in a book. The changes were not overnight, but they were evident over a longer period of time. All said, it seem fate likes to meet up with us on the least likely paths. Keep your eyes open people and enjoy your journey! Today, I read a new book called ''The Bull And The Fire Truck.'' One day, a bull named Bernardo lived on a farm with his family. Then he was driven to a new farm in a big red truck. Bernardo started to get mad at the red truck! He snorted at it, he butted at it, but he was just too big to move.
When they got to the new farm, there were red apples, red flowers, and red bandannas. And from then on the color red made Bernardo mad. Bernardo roamed the fields of his new home eating grass and growing bigger. One day Bernardo heard a sound. It was a big, red fire truck! The fire truck made him think of the other red truck. He stopped eating grass, and started chasing the fire truck! But then the fire truck stopped at a man that had a red sign that said stop! That made Bernardo got even madder! He charged and WHAM! He hit the fire truck really, really hard! The fire truck was broken and had to be taken away! A second fire truck needed to be called in. So the hurt firefighters went to see the doctor. He fixed their bumps and bruises. When they where all better, the Doctor wrote a note to the farmer telling him to keep the bull away from the color red! Ashleigh You probably think that this post is going to be about hiking, how much I enjoy it, and what went on on my hike of the mountain Saturday. However, that's not what I'd like to talk about. While that would be a great blog topic, today I'm going to be discussing the appreciation of the beauty around us- something that I'm sure most of you regular readers know is talked about frequently on this blog.
For those who weren't aware; Mt. Monadnock is the world's 2nd most climbed mountain, behind Mt. Fuji. It has about 150,000 hikers per year... which is crazy, honestly. I've hiked the mountain 5 times now and it's been crowded every time. A recurring theme with each trip up, however, has been the array of languages I've heard each time! It's crazy how many foreigners climb the mountain. It got me thinking... do these people really travel to here...just to hike? I guess when you live right at the base of the world's second most climbed mountain, you don't really think about it. It's just average for you, something that you see every day. Now don't get me wrong, I try to always appreciate the beauty of what's around me. But it really stunned me how many people there were who certainly weren't from the area. Another thing that my friend and I noticed (not on the mountain, a different time) was that the leaf peepers have started to come out! While waiting in the town center of Temple for his mom to finish work; we saw a few NY tourists taking photos of the scenery around them. This caught us both a bit off-guard... and made us stop and realize that we live in a place that people are willing to travel to see just for the beauty. I think that says something, honestly. I think sometimes when we're so used to the beauty around us; we don't fully appreciate it. We take it for granted because we see it every day, and it's not right. So, readers- I have a challenge for you. I want you to find natural beauty that you may not always appreciate from where you live, and I want you to send them in to my dad's email ([email protected]). I want to see the beauty you find. - Maddie "We don't understand life any better at forty, than at twenty, but by then we realize it and admit it." That's a quote by Jules Renard. Jules was a French author. He wrote poems, short stories, and plays, for the most part, but also had one famous novel. His most-famous work was Carrot Top, if you can believe it.
Renard died at the ripe old age of forty six, so I guess we'll never know if he would have figured it out by sixty. I am now fifty, and I can tell you that my understanding of life is always in flux. Not in a bad way, mind you, but just constantly changing. In general, my understanding of life seems to change every five to ten years. When I was ten, my baseball card collection and my ability to play sports were VERY important to me. I played all of the sports during their seasons, and tried to be as good as I could at each of them. Sports were my world! As I hit fifteen, I became more interested in partying. A lot of the "cool" kids were into drinking, and I foolishly drank along with them. My friends and I liked to get a buzz, and we all couldn't wait until we could get in the bars. By twenty, not much had changed. I was still partying every chance I got, and getting into bars was old hat. New York's drinking age had been eighteen when I turned eighteen, and I was grandfathered in once the drinking age went to 21. I worked in New York during the summer months, so my friends and I took to hanging around Bleeker Street on Friday or Saturday nights during my early twenties. In my late teens and early twenties I stopped drinking for a bit, going so far as to joining AA for a bit. I remember I was sober on my twenty-first birthday. I was stressed out and depressed though, and went back to drinking a few months later. My drinking was different now, though. I was no longer drinking just for the buzz, I knew it was bad for me and I was drinking more out of boredom, or so I told myself. By thirty I was a functional alcoholic. I held a good job at Merrill Lynch and I was looking for a girl to settle down with. I met my wife when I was thirty three and she was only twenty three. She too, had a problem with alcohol, and she asked me to help her stop drinking. I gave up drinking the moment she told me that (July, 1999) and I have not had a drink since. My understanding of life had gone from let's make lots of cash and get a buzz to: "we can have a beautiful life together if we can both quit drinking." Two years later, my first daughter was born, and my priorities grew to include spending as much time with my wife and daughter as possible. I left corporate life in late 2002, and started my own consulting firm from my basement. My life revolved around my wife, my daughter, and my work. In 2009, my mid-life crisis began... although at the time I didn't know it. Sharon and I had decided to have another baby. Sharon had never been able to stop drinking excepts for about two years while she was pregnant with, and then breast feeding Maddie. We had originally wanted to have three children, but stopped after Maddie because Sharon had had postpartum depression and was afraid to have another bout with it. Sharon then began to believe that if she had another child she would be able to stop drinking during the pregnancy again and hopefully stop for good. Her drinking had gotten progressively worse over the years, and Madison had begun to catch on to what was happening. To make a long story short, Sharon was not able to stop drinking, and we put her into an in-patient facility to keep her from drinking while she was pregnant. She made it through the system and returned back home two weeks before she was due with Ashleigh. She started to drink again that evening and the doctors decided to deliver Ashleigh early to help protect her. I brought Ashleigh home from the hospital when she was four days old, She was two weeks premature, underweight and had alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Maddie was home with us too. At forty four, I was raising a new-born baby and a seven-year-old little girl on my own, while also trying to keep my successful business running and keeping the house in some semblance of shape. Let me tell you, my understanding of life, and what truly was important grew in that time period. I am now fifty. At this point, I think there is no one true understanding of life. All of our experiences are too different. The more we share similar experiences, I think the more our understanding of life will be similar. Not the same, but similar. Honestly, I think that part of the reason that the divorce rate is so high is because couples are not able or willing to spend enough time with each other. Their common experiences become fewer and fewer, and they eventually drift apart. So, do I understand life? Nope. I understand what I am doing in my life at this moment, but I have no clue about what awaits me in the years ahead. Lord knows that if you had asked me where I would be in five years at any point in my life from say the age of twenty five on, I would have likely guessed wrong. In the end, life is for living. Have fun, make memories with the ones you love, and pray that you will be able to see them again in the afterlife. I like to look in the Zootles Magazines. Today we are not going to talk about a book. We are not going to talk about things that walk on land. We are going to talk about whales and other sea Creatures.
My favorite sea creature is the dolphin. One time my friend got to pet one. It was so cool! Dolphins have tiny teeth. Killer whales also have teeth. Killer Whales have sharp teeth. Both dolphins and whales have blowholes for breathing. They sometimes shoot water into the air through their blowholes. Ashleigh This weekend, I hiked Mt. Monadnock with 2 of my close friends. It took us 6 hours, but we made it up the mountain and regardless of the time it took; it was an awesome trip. I have a good handful of photos, so this post is going to be made up of those alone. My written post will be the next one I write. Anyway, I hope you like the photos. I'll try to put captions on them.
And finally... our before and after photos. Man, that hike took everything out of us! However, I'm extremely proud of all three of us for making it up there alone and getting back down without absolutely dying. Trust me though- we all were feeling it the next day. Anyway, I'll end this post here. My written one will be out tomorrow.
- Maddie Today I read a new book called ''Corduroy Makes A Cake.'' One day, a girl named Lisa was going to school and it was her birthday. As soon as she left, her favorite bear said ''If Lisa is having a party I need to get to work.'' He grabbed ''cake mix, cake pans, cans of pink frosting, a bowl eggs, and a cup of water, and he started to make a cake.
He got the mixer and started mixing away. A little later it was ready. When he went to put it in the pans, he found out he did not have enough cake mix. He started to look for more, but he still did not have enough cake mix. Just then, Lisa's mother came in the room ''What a mess'' she said! And she cleaned it all up. Then Corduroy knocked over a box that looked like a cake, and he has an idea. He got some glue, and then he got to work. When he heard Lisa's mother coming his way, he jumped in the box to hide. As soon as he got in, he heard ''ding dong!'' and all of Lisa's friends came in. When Lisa entered, she said ''where is Corduroy?' Her mother said, "we can look for him later, first lets open gifts." The first gift she opened was the one with Corduroy in it! They all then yelled Happy Birthday Lisa! Ashleigh "It's in our biology to trust what we see with our eyes. This makes living in a carefully edited, overproduced, and Photoshopped world very dangerous." That is a quote by Brene Brown.
Getting back to today's quote, I think we all know deep down not to believe what we see in the media. Even so, we all, to some extent do! Now I don't think any of you really believe in the zebra ant I have pictured above, but I think that if you saw only the edited versions of the two women above you would believe that that is what they actually looked like. So much so, that if you then met the women in real life, you may feel disappointed with their real looks, even though both of them still look great. I have had a few experiences like that in real life. Each time, I didn't know who I met or saw until after the fact. The earliest example I have of this is when I met Bruce Springsteen in a store one time while I was still in high school.
In other words, he was dressed very similarly to me and my friends, and looked about the same age (we were about 17 or 18 at the time), even though he was actually about 28 or 29 at the time. We all joked around with him for about five minutes, while we waited in line at the music store. After he paid the girl at the register, he said so long, waved, and left. None of us even knew who he was, even though three of us were Bruce fans. The only way we found out was when the girl behind the counter asked us if any of us wanted to buy the VCR slip she had in her hand. When we said, "Why would we want to do that?" She said with an incredulous look on her face: "You mean you didn't know? That was Bruce Springsteen!" In all honesty, I never would have known. He honestly acted like just another dude in high school. I still can't make the two pictures of him match up in my mind! I can say he seemed like a real good guy. He joked around with a bunch of high school kids who he must have realized had no clue to who he was. And he seemed to have enjoyed the banter as much as we did.
The other two people I saw who were a little different were Mary Tyler Moore, and Connie Chung. Both of these women were still very pretty when I saw them. Mary Tyler Moore was in an airport and was talking to the person next to her. She was pretty, but I would not have known it was her if someone hadn't pointed it out to me. I had noticed her as a very pretty woman though! As for Connie, She is extremely pretty in person, she just seemed much shorter than I ever pictured her. She worked in the same building as me in New York during the mid- to late 90's. Sometimes I would be in the same elevator with her and I felt like I towered over her, even though I am not the tallest person myself.
Now that I have made this post longer than I wanted and rambled for a few paragraphs to boot, I'll get back to my main point. everything you see on TV or in print nowadays is likely photo-shopped to some extent. That's true whether it is people or events. Have you been watching the news and reading about the candidate visits to different towns? The media tries to make them look like they are all well attended. The truth of the matter is that most of them aren't. I have seen wide-angled views of some of the crowds where you can see that some of them have less than 75 people in the crowd. I have also seen videos where workers are handing out "home-made" looking signs for the people to hold. Nearly none of it is real folks! I guess to finish I will just say be careful what you believe folks. A lot of what you see on TV is there to sway you, not to inform you. It's late and I'm tired... it's also the end of the week and I just want to be done with blogging. Not to say that I don't appreciate this blog or the writing I do for it- but it can drag on when you don't have much to write about. I'm taking this idea from my dad's post (I apologize for referencing you constantly in my posts, dad) because he was writing about perception earlier. He referred to Shakespeare's quote about the world being a stage and how people wear many masks, etc. etc... if you're interested in that, you can read my dad's NUMEROUS pieces about it. In any case, I decided to go track down my own little compilation of quotes about masks, identity, and perception.
Here it is. "I can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to see in me." "We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin." "Give someone a mask, and they will show their true face." "We create a mask to meet the masks of others... and then wonder why we cannot love, and why we feel so alone." "Why should I fear the dark, when the masks people wear in the sun are far more terrifying?" "Identity cannot be found or fabricated but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go." "Life isn't about finding yourself- life is about creating yourself." "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." That being said... here is a list of my "masks" and "identities". - daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister - nidan, black belt, martial artist, teacher, helper - writer, blogger, poet, reader - friend, enemy, best friend, 'sister' - thoughtful, happy, creative, kind - opinionated, bitchy, self-centered - soft-hearted, gentle, kind - strong-willed, stubborn, down-to-earth - life saver.... These are just a handful of what I know people see me as. I'm sure there are more. Not all are good. But not all are bad. They are simply the different perceptions of people... some who know me, and some who don't. Most people's first impression of me, believe it or not, is that I'm a stoner. I'm not. I was raised by one, though. I guess it's a way of thinking that rubs off. I'm happy with who I am as a person. I'm at the point where I know some people don't particularly like me... and I don't really care. No one can get along with EVERYONE. And if someone feels the need to believe rumors and not even give me a chance; then they probably weren't the type of person I'd like to be associated with anyway. Who are you..? And more importantly... are you happy with who you are? - Maddie Listen, it's late. Don't rip into me for the odd title; it was the best I could do... I honestly had no idea what a proper label for this post would be. I have a topic; but it's a topic that I find hard to define without directly quoting it. It's a common cliche (well, two, really) that I'm sure most people have heard before... and I'm going to be addressing it in full tonight because it has bothered me for a long time.
Growing up, I was told both of the following: "Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated" and "Treat others as they treat you" These statements always confused me, because they contradict each other in morality. I've thought long and hard about both... and these are my final thoughts. If you treat others as you wish to be treated; it'll likely result in you being walked all over. It's nice to be nice; but you need to know when your kindness is being abused. I am an extremely forgiving person; to the point that it is my fatal flaw. I allow myself to be walked all over and used simply because I believe that others must have the same good in them that I have in me... and it is seldom the case. I think that sensitive people get hurt the most in the world not because of their sensitive nature; but because they reject the idea and lack understanding of how some people can be so cruel without thinking twice about it. Not everyone is good, or forgiving, or understanding, or kind. And this is definitely something to keep in mind before "treating others as you would like to be treated". On the other hand, treating others as they treat you is all well and good until you meet someone having a bad day. I'll take a moment to cross-reference my dad's post from earlier today- he mentions how his first impressions of people are often incorrect, and states that people he may have taken as moody and unpleasant were actually quite nice people having a bad day. Treating others how they treat you takes a great deal of judgement... judgement that I feel those following this philosophy won't take much time to consider. I believe that the best policy in life is to give everyone a few chances until they do something unforgivable... or until they've proven themselves to be a negative person. Everyone has bad days; but no one should make every day a bad one and CERTAINLY not transplant their negativity onto you. If someone has a negative influence on you; cut them out of your life. Don't waste your time trying to forgive them... they will only continue on down the negative path that they've chosen for their life. At the same time, don't waste your time trying to treat them as they treat you. You'll only be dropping yourself to their level. Sometimes, negative people are unavoidable... but that doesn't mean that you have to take what they say to heart or let them have a full grasp on your life. "There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn't with you, it is with themselves." - Maddie "Everything we see hides another thing; we always want to see what is hidden by what we see." That is a quote by Rene Magritte. Depending how literally you want to take this quote, it is obviously true. To start, I am going to look at it scientifically, and then I will try and get a little more touchy/feely with it too. The easiest way to grasp this quote is scientifically. When we look at anything, we only see what we have the ability to perceive. Our eyes can only see color in certain wave ranges. What we can't see, we won't perceive, unless we have special gauges that allow us to pick up what is there but is not visible to us. A good example of this is found in King Tut's tomb. The tomb was originally opened in the early 1920's, but it was just recently that they discovered that there is a hidden chamber behind one of the walls. They believe it is the queen's burial chamber. It was found by looking at the chamber thermographically. This is a diagnostic technique originally used in the medical fields, where an infrared camera is used to measure temperature variations on the surface of an object. In archaeology, a wall with a cooler area implies that there may be a chamber of some type hidden behind the wall. Without the use of the new equipment, we may never had known about the chamber! It was there the whole time, we just couldn't see it. Other examples include bacteria and viruses. Although they have always been present, we didn't know about them until the invention of the microscope. To take it a step further, animals have different senses than us also. A dog's sense of smell is nearly 400x more sensitive than ours, and they can hear things in ranges a human will never hear. We interact with dogs every day, and yet they perceive the world in an entirely different way than we do. Sometimes, I think the reasons we have not found evidence of extraterrestrial life forms is because the way we perceive things are just too different than the hints that the other types of life are producing. Here is another example of what I am talking about. On the earth today there are animals that can live at depths that man could simply not handle. There are also some types of life that can live in ocean vents that are spewing boiling hot water. Man cannot live in either environment. Yet once we found a way to look at these environments, we found that there is life there. Giant squids and sperm whales often battle in the depths. At the depth that giant squids live, there is no sunlight. and yet the whales are able to find the squids and eat them. Sucker marks have been found on whales that are up to 28 inches across! These likely came from 50-foot squid. Although we can't survive under those pressures, and we cannot see in the darkness at those depths, The whales and the squid both seem to have the ability to do so. If these large creatures can be alive and yet under our line of regular site, how many other things are we missing, simply because we don't have the ability to perceive them? One more scientific example before I move on. Did you know that not only are there things that live in the depths of the sea, but that there are also creatures that can live more than 1000 meters below the sea floor as well? That's right, scientists have found bacteria in drill cores that they took up from below the sea floors. The bacteria lived off of things that died millions of years ago. It is truly amazing if you think about it! Will we find life in space? Who knows! We are still finding life we didn't know about on our own planet. Sometimes, even what we see with our own eyes can hide other truths from us.Oftentimes, my first impression of someone is wrong. People I thought were rude and abrupt were really only having a bad day and I later grew to like them immensely. Meanwhile, other people who I liked right away turned out to be manipulative and scheming. I always like to paraphrase Shakespeare with his "all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." I usually mix in other quotes about masks, which totally kills Shakespeare's original meaning. Even so, I find that we all do wear many masks in our lives. My daughters see my father mask. My friends, my friend mask. And on and on. At work, I am an analyst and my actions show all that that entails. At karate, I am a sensai, and likely given more credit for knowledge than I truly feel. Still, I do have that knowledge, and I can effectively teach people what I know. My actions have more truth than my feelings about my actions. I think we are all like that, to some extent. We are uncertain about some of our actions and we wear a mask. We hide our nervousness or the fact that we are uncomfortable with a mask of competency or assuredness. Funny, I know that I know what I know. And yet, sometimes I feel uncomfortable trying to exp[lain to someone what I know. The mask slips, and my humanity trickles out. So what do you see when you look at me? I am almost certain that it is not the same thing I see when I look in the mirror. If you have a few minutes, write a couple of sentences in the comments. What do you see?
Today I read a new book called ''Rainbow Fish Tattle Tale.'' One day a green sea snake named Dyna was going to school with a fish named Rosie in the ocean. They had a project to do. When they were only part way done Rosie began to tell Jokes. Dyna did not like the jokes because they still had work to do.
At recess, some of the fish talked, some of the fish rested, and some of the fish played. Then a little later it was time to finish their work. Rosie did something wrong, though and the project was ruined. Angel fish swam over and heard about it and swam off to tell the other fish. Angel first told Rusty. Then Rusty told Spike. Dyna and Rosie herd the gossip about them and both felt hurt! Rainbow Fish swam over and said ''There was a misunderstanding about what happened. Dyna and Rosie tried the project again and got it right this time. Ashleigh |
Archives
September 2021
Categories
All
|