“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” That's a quote by Charles Bukowski. I thought of it when I saw the picture of the sculpture that was at one of the Burning Man festivals. Although the quote isn't an exact match for the image, it is what I thought of.
Bukowski, by the way, was an American author and poet. He had a long career, and had a lot of his poetry published during his lifetime. I can't point to any one work that he is best known for. I guess Post Office would be it though. Meanwhile, the sculpture is by Aleksandr Milov from the Ukraine. At least that is what the picture credit says... that might be the photographer for all I know. Either way, I think the sculpture is very expressive. When I was young, I looked at things as a child. All my thoughts and dreams were idylic. I saw the good without the bad, and the how of a matter never entered my mind. Imagining my future as a house with a white picket fence, a beautiful wife greeting me at the door and a huge smile on my face, wasn't too far from how I was picturing my future. As I grew, the picture expanded to include a job I actually enjoyed and a train ride daily that was pleasant and allowed me to look at beautiful scenery. It didn't phase me that the scenery outside the train window was already bleak, and that I would later be riding right by that same scenery. My mind never made the leap. As I got older, the reality of life started to sink in. I had a nice house, but I had to work hard and spend lots to get it how I wanted. I had a beautiful wife, but she had problems that affected our relationship. To say that my life wasn't going exactly as planned was an understatement. I remembered who I was before the world changed me, though, and began to make changes to make myself become whole. We moved to another nice house in a beautiful state. My wife continued to try and battle her demons. When I stepped outside the house, I had the beauty that I always dreamed of. For a few minutes each day, I had the dream! A lot happened in the next eight years that changed my life forever. A divorce, a failed business, and my wife's early demise all hammered at me. Meanwhile, my daughters and I were making do and slowly recovering from the negatives. My life is slowly merging back towards who I was. I now remember who I was, and I am working my way back towards him. My honor is intact, and I am doing my best to be who I need to be. The world will just have to accept me for who I am. So who am I? I am a loving father for my daughters. I am a martial artist. I am a thinker, and a lover of beauty. Time is a precious gift, and I am looking to give my time to my daughters. What I write on this blog is for them. Hopefully, they can learn something from my thoughts, and never forget who they are, or what they want to be. Stay true to yourselves, and you will be happier.
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