"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." Those wise words come from Ernest Hemingway, one of my favorite writers when I was a kid.
What I liked about Hemingway was that he walked his talk. He fought for what he believed in. Many people talk about how things should be, but few go out of their way to fight for it, unless the fight is brought to them. Hemingway was different. He went to where the action was and fought for hid ideals. That's the way it seemed to me as a kid, anyway. Although Hemingway is known for a number of groundbreaking novels, my favorite works by him are his Nick Adams stories. In those, I found a kindred spirit, even if the stories were written more than fifty years before I was born. If you ever get a chance, I recommend those stories highly. To get back to the quote, I think it can be improved upon even further. "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody, is to first trust them with a little thing that takes some judgement." If they screw it up, then you know that they cannot be trusted with something meaningful. You see, anyone can be trusted with something minor. It's different though if they have to make some sort of judgement call. Not everybody makes wise decisions. Why wait to find out if someone can make a wise decision when the chips are down? Instead, ask them to make some sort of decision when the outcome really doesn't matter too much. If they do well, then it is likely they will at least try to make a good decision when the outcome is more important. On the flip side, if they can't make a good decision while nothing is at stake, then it's likely that they would not be able to when the chips are down either. Sometimes, we are all thrown into a situation where we need to trust someone we don't know to do the right thing. Most times we aren't. It is those times when we are not that my solution would be a superior choice. Remember, trust shouldn't just be given. It should be earned. I think everyone should be given the chance to earn your trust. You just don't need to make that first chance a life-altering situation.
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Polar bears live in the Arctic. It is cold and icy in the Arctic. When a polar bear is ready
to have cubs, it builds a den in a snowbank. She stays in the den with the cubs for 3 months. She will stay with her cubs for two and a half years. Polar bears eat seals and fish. Ashlegh "The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." That's a quote by Plutarch. It's a pity that people didn't pay attention to this quote. So many people think that learning is filling your head with facts. To me, facts are only useful if you know what to do with them.
The best educators teach you how to think, not what to think. They teach you to question everything...not just take their word for it. I always find multiple choice questions a waste of time. They don't test what you know, they test what you remember. Knowing and remembering are two different things. To know a subject, you need to see the why of the matter. For instance, If someone says Bill died in a car accident, you may feel bad for Bill. What a shame! Now, how do you feel if someone told you that Bill died in a car accident. He was driving drunk and crashed into a family of four head on and killed the lot of them. You might feel a little less sorry for Bill then... and more sorry for the family he killed. The why of the matter made all of the difference didn't it. I home school my daughters. Right now, I am teaching my youngest daughter to read and do arithmetic. Still, I have already started teaching her how to think though. I ask her open ended questions about the stories we read and movies we watch. I don't always expect her to have the correct answers. I do expect her to at least try to give some type of an answer. And she usually does. On our way to karate, I will often ask her what she sees. Sometimes I will go further and after she tells me what she sees, I will ask her if she saw something specific that she didn't mention. Oftentimes she says yes that she saw it. I will then ask her why she didn't say it then. This will make her stop and think. And then she will give me an answer. The exercise helps me to teach her to look at the details. It also teaches her to ask questions too. With my older daughter, I ask more detailed questions. Usually about her school work, but sometimes about our surroundings, or the people we see. All of the questions I ask her are open-ended also. Maddie is used to the game and she is a bit more observant at this point. Her leaps of logic are also astounding sometimes. I want both of my daughters to be able to think for themselves. Not just to be told what to believe or led to believe what they hear on the TV. Question everything is my motto. Follow the money, or look for the underlying reason for everything. Sometimes the reason why something occurs... either in nature or in a social setting is easy to see. Oftentimes they are not. Over time I want my daughters to know to look for the why in everything. If they can see the why, it will keep them out of trouble. Why? will kindle the fire of your intellect. After the fire is lit, How? can help to fan the flames of logic. It is not enough to know the why of the matter (sometimes it is), true understanding comes from learning the how too. To me, Why? and How? are the two best ways to put your mind to use and to use it effectively. "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Okay, I hope my headline fooled you into thinking I was going to quote Frank Sinatra. Nope, this is a quote that I can't quite place. I like it though, and I thought it was worth a word or two.
I have had some regrets in my day... a little of each of them. And I must say that the first type of regret does evaporate over time. Meanwhile, the second type can be tricky. Sometimes you get a second chance to do them. Sometimes you don't. For most things, that's okay. But not for all things. For instance, never not tell someone you love that you love them. No matter how mad you may be at them at the time, or how much in a rush you are, make sure to take a moment and tell them that you love them. You never know when someone you love is going to die. We all have this thought in our heads that we will see everybody tomorrow. That is not always the case. Sometimes, the next time you see them, they may be in a coma. Or even dead. It's a little late to tell them how much you love them then. In fact, because this happened to me, I can tell you that it feels a little hollow. You wonder if they know you are there in the first place, let alone that they have heard what you had to say. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU. I can tell you, this really sucks. And it will stick with you for years. If you love someone, make sure you tell them that. Not just once in a blue moon, but every time you see them. It doesn't have to be in an overly dramatic or mushy way... Just a quick "I love you babe, as you give them a kiss good bye. For one day, it really will be your final good bye, Think about it. Make it a habit. And mean it. This is one regret you can definitely prevent. Not everyone warrants a last goodbye. But if you truly love the person, then you definitely need to make sure that you have said your final goodbye. Not only will it help them be at peace with you, but it will help you to be at peace with yourself! A wise man learns from other people's mistakes and doesn't have to experience the same circumstance to learn from it. This is one lesson that I truly wish I learned from somebody else. Be wise, learn this lesson from me. Tell the people you love that you love them every time you see them. Not only will this help you and them feel good while you and they are alive, it will make sure that you will always feel okay no matter what happens. Learn this lesson NOW! Do not wait to learn it through your own experience! I regret that I had to learn this lesson first hand. Never again! This post began as a poem, the one I have below. I wrote it due to an issue I had with one of my friends- many hurtful accusations got tossed around in our argument, and it hurt. I don't want this post to be bitchy, hurtful, or more insults to that person. In my opinion, our fight was pointless and could have been avoided easily. The reason why this post is entitled "fake friends" is because that is sort of what this person is.
As stated below- they aren't ever there for me; even though I find myself dropping everything to help them. They make no efforts to make plans. They don't respond to calls or texts. They choose to hit you when you're down. And it sucks. Unfortunately, I'm the person who gives too many second chances and so when I meet a friend like this, I tend to let them bring me down and I don't realize how bad things are until they reach a critical point. At that critical point; should it ever be reached... you have to make a choice. You can either continue the toxic friendship; and probably wind up getting hurt more and used more... or you can discard it and get on with your life. That is the choice I need to make now... wish me luck in making the correct one. The moral of this strange post; I believe... is to be a good friend. Not to discard friendships, and not to argue, but to be a good and helpful friend... as long as the other person does the same. Friendship is a two-way street. ~Maddie When you're always there for them, but they aren't for you When you want to chill, but they have better things to do You want to tell them every single thing, But they pick up for everyone but you when their cellphone rings When you pick them right up should they ever fall down, But they trod all over you when you're lying on the ground When you would rather die than watch them cry, But when you get down they never try They don't understand, they don't lend a hand They just fade away, like footprints in sand They take you and use you, They hurt and abuse you And yet you still stay In the hopes that one day... maybe, they'll change. Well. It's 2:00 AM and I'm out of blog ideas. SO without further ado- here are things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I don't know... this is my blog post I guess. I'm probably going to be told it was shitty. But I don't really care. These are my thoughts. ~Maddie "Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end." That is a quote by Leonard Nimoy...better known as Mr. Spock! It's great that Nimoy's quote is focused on logic. His portrayal of Spock type cast him as an intelligent person in nearly every other role he played since that time. Whether he was a good guy, or a villain, his characters were always intelligent. One of my favorite non "Star Trek" roles that Nimoy played was as the narrator of the show "In Search Of". In Search Of was a show that focused on the bizarre and unexplained. Nimoy's voice lent a voice of reason to topics that seemed too bizarre to be real. Leonard Nimoy died in February this year, at the age of 83. Although Spock will live on in the hearts and minds of his fans, "Live long and prosper" will never seem to be as meaningful a thing to say now that Nimoy has passed. Rest in peace Leonard, your character portrayal of Spock was likely the introduction to logic for many kids growing up in the sixties and seventies. I know that Spock was a positive role model for many of us.
To get back to the quote, Logic is the beginning of wisdom, because it is a system of reasoning applicable to any branch of study. That's right, logic is a system of thinking. Without it, or something very similar, you can't have wisdom, which is basically understanding or enlightenment. Remember, animals can learn things, but no one truly believes they have wisdom. If you put your hand on a hot stove and get burned, you learn not to do that. If you see an egg cook on a hot stove and then infer that you should not put your hand on it, then you have gained wisdom. Although the difference may seem minor to some, it makes a huge difference to the person who got burned! To me, logic is a tool that allows me to break things down to their barest essence. It is a way of thinking that discards that, which is obviously false and then allows you to look at the remaining possibilities and choose the one that has the highest probability of working. The system then morphs into a series of trials and errors until the correct answer is found or "wisdom" is achieved. I like to teach my daughters to use logic to sway my opinion on matters that concern them. Since Madison has been very young, I have told her that if she can give me a logical reason why I should do something her way versus mine, I would allow her to do the thing her way. In other words, I try to reward her for using logic to sway my opinion rather than just a pure emotional appeal. Sometimes, her case is very logical, and I allow her to change my opinion..even though I sometimes don't agree with what she wants to do. Oftentimes, she cannot find a logical reason to do something her way and then she has to do it my way. I try to lead by example. I can't tell her to use logic to find answers to her problems, if I do not allow a logical argument to sway me away from what I want to do. If my way is also logical, then I try to give sway to the idea that is most logical. If the two ideas are equally logical, than I will usually stay with mine since her argument did not convince me that her way was better. I have yet to start this kind of training with Ashleigh. Once Ashleigh can read a bit better than she can now, I will slowly start to introduce this type of thinking to her. Finally, I believe schools should be designed to teach children how to think. Not just to teach them answers that they do not have to arrive at on their own. I would rather hire a person that knows how to think, than a person who is only book smart. A lack of common sense serves no one. If you are a parent, teach your children how to think for themselves. It is the greatest thing you can do for them as a parent in my opinion. "Thousands of candles can be lighted by a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." That is a quote by Buddha. It is amazing how many beautiful things you can find if you look for them! I have always felt that I am well read. I have read hundreds of books and articles a year since before I was a teen. Even so, since starting to look up quotes for my blog posts, I have still gotten a new appreciation for a quote that I have always believed: " A wise man knows how little he truly knows." Okay, so I am paraphrasing Socratic ignorance there, but I think you see what I am getting at. The more I read, the more I see how little reading I have actually done.
Like happiness, wisdom doesn't decrease with the sharing. I love to read quotes because they force me to think about what the author is actually trying to say. One of the negatives about reading quotes, though, is that it is so easy to take a single sentence out of context, when you don't see what else the author was saying in the moment. It is easy to latch on to one sentence, perfectly said in a paragraph full of drivel and false ideas. With all of the writing I do, I would love to have something I have written quoted on a quote page. Better yet, I would like to have something quoted that actually means exactly what I was trying to say. I think Socrates must sometimes roll over in his grave with the way people misinterpret what he was trying to get across. Socrates had a tendency to be long winded. It seems he believed that there was no sense saying in a sentence something that could be better said in a half-hour sermon. Still, people (including myself) can find a single sentence that he uttered that can convey an idea that we like. That's why he is quoted constantly. Meanwhile, I think Buddha likely rests in his grave rather easily. The quotes attributed to Buddha are usually short and simplistic. To the point and beautiful. Like the quote above. Personally, I think the quotes attributed to Buddha must have come from a number of different authors over centuries. Otherwise, talking to Buddha must have been like talking to a box of riddles, or someone who was perpetually stoned. I wonder if anyone ever got a straight answer out of Buddha that was comprehensible without stopping to think about it. Think about it: "Hey Buddha, what would you like to eat?" "On life's journey faith is nourishment." "Okay then, nothing for Buddha, he's going to sit over their and chew on his words for a while." Truth be told, Buddha was a vegetarian. He believed that "The eating of meat extinguishes the seed of great compassion." I don't know. I believe I am as compassionate as the next person, and yet I still love a good steak. God obviously didn't give us sharp teeth to eat bananas...and tigers were not put on this earth to eat popcorn. But I digress, Happiness and wisdom are two things that can be shared without diminishing our own use of them. Help people to learn what they do not know. You will find that you too, will learn in the teaching. Share a smile, oftentimes you will get one in return. Tell a joke, and everyone will laugh with you, yet cry and you'll typically cry alone. In the end, I guess the best advice is to share what you would like shared with you, and you will see the sentiment grow. Meanwhile try to lessen other people's pain (as you would like done for you when you are hurting), and you will help to spread goodwill in your immediate vicinity. Finally, remember that while you can light a candle with a candle, you can also light the drapes on fire! Spreading happiness is always a good thing, but spreading wisdom to an evil fool is likely not a good idea. I look at the sky every night. I see many stars big and bright. Sometimes I also see the moon. I like to look at the sky with Nema.
Ashleigh "It's not what you look at that matters, it is what you see." Henry David Thoreau said that little gem. It makes me think of another quote.."The devil is in the details." Although the two quotes don't mean the same thing, one brings to mind the other. Oftentimes, it is the detail that brings out the beauty or truth in a matter.
It's funny to me how people can look at the same scene and see different things. It happened to us on the way to church. There were five of us in the car. In the middle of the road was a dead porcupine. As we passed it, I said, wow, he was a big one! Everyone looked at me and said "What are you talking about?" When I said there was a dead porcupine right in the middle of the road, all of them seemed surprised and said they didn't see it. Now this porcupine was quite large...about the size of a medium-sized dog, and yet not one person other than the driver even noticed it! A little further down the road, my youngest daughter yelled "Oh, look at the cows!" as if she had never seen them there before. We were passing a farm we drive past nearly every day. And yet, the cows surprised her. (No one else was surprised, thank God.) It just goes to show that although we may be all looking at the same scene, we will not all see the same things. The devil really is in the details. I try to train my daughters to be more observant. Not only in what they see, but in what they read. I will often ask them questions such as "What did you see?" followed quickly by "What else did you see?" This is actually more effective with Ashleigh right now. She takes in a lot, but doesn't recognize the detail until you ask her. Maddie on the other hand (when she is not giving one-word answers like "Nothing"), is much more descriptive about what she sees. She is also getting better at reading between the lines with the literature that I assign her to read. Oftentimes when I give her an assignment, I am not looking for her to retell me the story she has just read, I am looking for her to pick up on the story hidden within the story. Not all books have hidden symbolism or have secondary meanings. When they do, I like to see if she can pick up on them. Maddie's first real ah-ha moment with this kind of thinking came when I assigned her the short story "The Swimmer" by John Cheever. On the surface, the story is draggy and slow. A good day turns more dark and sinister as the main character progresses on his quest. The real story is between the lines, though, and it was enjoyable to get Madison's take on it. At first, she didn't see it, as I was using this story as an introduction to reading the story inside a story. As I explained the allegories that I saw within the story (there are many if you look for them), Maddie's eyes lit up and she started to use leaps of logic to point out other parts to the story that first eluded her. "The Swimmer" and "1984" were two of my favorite assignments I have given Maddie. "The Picture of Dorian Gray" was another. Within my own life, I see so many stories within stories. Nearly everyone we meet has multiple stories, all entwined within their personalities. How well do any of us really know anyone? How well do we know ourselves? Have you ever met anyone who has a blind spot about one of their own traits? We all have them. All though I'd like to think that I know mine, I am certain there are some I will never know...even if someone tells me about them! We all have secrets that are not meant to be shared. Little pieces of us that we have hid away either consciously or subconsciously. If you believe that, then apply that rule to the people you know. How well do you know them really? What makes them tick? Every once in a while, people I know surprise me. Usually in a good way. I try to see the good in everyone, so I look for it. Then, in a moment that would usually have little consequence, a person's guard will drop and their inner beauty will shine through in a way that is unexpected. It could be in how they talk to their spouse, or how they treat a stranger. You never know what the trigger will be that will show you a greater part of their soul. For me, it was when my wife first read me her poetry that I knew that I loved her. We had already been dating for a week or two. Originally I had been attracted to her looks, her accent, and the way she laughed at little jokes. Once she read me her poetry, however, I got a glimpse of her soul and fell madly in love. I am a bit of a poetry buff. I have read a lot of it over the years. But when Sharon opened up to me and read me her poems, and I could feel the raw power underneath them and the pain, I was drawn to her like a moth to the flame. Try to read between the lines folks. Try to see what isn't shown. That is where the real meaning of life and the stories of our souls really live. The truth is out there, although it is often hid behind a mist we put in front of our own eyes. See what is underneath the masks people wear. See the beauty that hides just inside the ordinary. Look past the facade that people put up to guard their feelings. That is where you can find the true beauty...or occasionally, the horror. For me, I like to look for the beauty. This quote is so true. I love the use of metaphors within quotes, and this is an excellent one. In it, the rain is representative of what you can say to someone, and the thunder represents someone yelling. I think this quote is directed at those who believe that raising their voice will win them an argument... when in reality, it doesn't at all. You can easily out-yell someone and be saying the most retarded thing ever, and drown out the logical argument of the person who has kept their cool... but in the end, the person with the logic will undoubtedly win.
Volume is not everything, certainly... and in my opinion, those who yell during disputes are usually immature and childish. They obviously never learned to keep a cool head and to not always scream when they didn't get their way. Naturally, everyone has their bad days where they can reach their limit for other people's stupidity.... but I'm directing this post at anyone and everyone who believes yelling in an argument equals victory. If I had to take a stab at the psychology behind this... I'd say that this bad habit probably comes from one of two places: 1). Those who were never taught proper discipline, respect and logic when younger, and so lead all their battles with emotion and anger or 2). Those who were neglected and shut out when younger- perhaps constantly drowned out by another sibling, and therefore learned that the only way to get attention and a form of victory was through being noisy. How true this is, I don't know- but I do know that logic proves a hell of a lot more than needless, over-emotional and quite frankly annoying yelling. Now, as for the 'flower' in this quote... this is obviously the person who is being yelled at. When someone yells at me, it can draw many reactions depending on my mood at the time. Most often, I'll feel annoyed and tend to spew back (though I've been getting better about keeping calm) or I'll feel upset and shut down. However, if you use logic and try to change my mind, and say it CALMLY.. I'm more apt to listen, absorb what you say and perhaps even change my mind. Don't grow your flowers with thunder... it'll only kill them off or hold them back. ~Maddie This is a quote from John Lennon, and I love it for its simplicity. It gets right to the point. I think that it is important to note that right off the bat, that if you are going to "waste time"... you should be enjoying yourself. Your time is yours and no one else's. That's why I think the quote was... structured as it was. Too often in life, I think we confuse the time of others with our own. This is ESPECIALLY true in work, I think. Whichever way you choose to look at it, when it comes down to it... your time is yours, and it can never be gotten back; even if you choose to spend it foolishly working for another person so they can spend THEIR time more comfortably.
I get told a lot by my dad to not "waste his time". This quote sort of disproves this; and I think my dad would do good to come back to this post the next time he tells me this. Yes, I may not do my work on time... BUT I am using my time how I want to. Before you lecture me, hear me out. As I said above- time is all our own. It can't be gotten back; no matter how much we may want to take it back. I realize that my homework is a priority; and I do try with it... but if something that is more important to ME presents itself, I'm naturally going to do that instead. It's MY time. It's MY life. And while you are my guardian and parent and you are in charge of me and in charge of raising me correctly until I am 18... it doesn't change the fact that what I do with my life NOW is going to impact me later. Perhaps this just further proves your point about finishing my schoolwork on time, etc... but as you are so fond of saying, memories make everything. When I die, I won't likely care about if I was late on a few reports growing up... I'll be remembering the times and conversations I had that may have made my day, made me smile... whatever. "Well, get your homework done and you can have good memories! But only after schoolwork." Education, I realize, is important. And I honestly believe I'm getting an excellent one! However, I'd much rather be social than worry about getting a Civil War report in on time or something like that. I'd like to end with a poem I found online- Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round, or listened to rain slapping the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight, or gazed at the sun fading into the night? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. Do you run through each day on the fly, when you ask "How are you?", do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed, with the next hundred chores running through your head? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow, and in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a friendship die, 'cause you never had time to call and say hi? You better slow down, don't dance so fast, time is short, the music won't last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, it's like an unopened gift thrown away. Life isn't a race, so take it slower, hear the music before your song is over. ~Maddie Last week I tested for my orange belt with a black stripe. On the test, I had to do all of
my forms and technique. The test was long, and near the end of the test we did some sparring. At the end of the test, I was awarded a purple belt! A purple belt is one level higher than the belt I was testing for. I was very happy! Ashleigh I read another Biscuit book today, Bath Time for Biscuit. Biscuit did not want to take a
bath. Instead, he wanted to play with his friend Puddles. They played in the mud and ran under the sprinkler. At the end, they knocked his owner into the bath. I thought that was funny! Ashleigh Mishaps are like knives, they either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle." That is a quote from James Russell Lowell. He was an abolitionist during the 19th century, who also wrote poetry. I thought it was fitting to use a quote from him today for two reasons.
First, I am teaching my daughter about the civil war at the moment, and I thought that it was amusing that I was using a quote from an abolitionist poet. I look the person up after I find a quote I like, so I did not know he was an abolitionist or a poet until after the fact. My daughter writes poems nearly every day, so the coincidence amused me! Secondly, I usually just look up quotes on the internet. Today, I saw a Dictionary of Quotations sitting on my credenza and I decided to browse through it a little bit. Inside, was a slip of paper with quotes written on it in my wife's handwriting. It was like a little note from the past. The above quote was one of the ones she had written down. It's now just over two years since her death (shows you how often I clean my office!) and I noticed that many of the quotes she had written down seem to relate to either me or her. So, how you may ask do the quotes pertain? Well, the above quote for instance, reminds me of the event that was the beginning of the end of our marriage. The trouble began when my wife got a DWI. We initially tried to use the event to serve us. I negotiated with the judge to have my wife put into an in-patient program to get her help with her alcoholism. She wouldn't go on her own, but I knew she would go if it would keep her out of jail. The judge agreed and she was placed in a 28-day in-patient program at Phoenix House in Keene. Unfortunately, my wife grabbed that same "knife" by the blade. Instead of using that time to get a jump on getting sober, on the day of her release from the program, she left the grounds and went out and bought alcohol and came back to the recovery home to wait for me to pick her up. When I brought her home, she had the alcohol and continued to get drunk. She was pregnant at the time, with our second child, so it was a dangerous situation. When she got drunk, she miss-stepped, fell, and broke her ankle. She was close to full term and the doctors decided that it would be safest to deliver the baby two weeks premature to protect her from anymore exposure to alcohol. After the delivery, things only got worse with more episodes, all of which put our children at risk. Each of these "mishaps" were also grabbed by the blade by my wife. The cuts were deep, and eventually led to her death. I really don't want to get into all of the things that happened. Let's just say that addiction is a travesty and that it can ruin more lives than just the life of the person suffering the addiction. With that said, when a mishap happens to you, try to find a way to have it serve you. Not every mishap will be a life or death situation. Lose a job? Find a better one! Break up with your girlfriend? Find a better one. A lot of things happen to us in life. Try to make anything that happens have a positive result. It's easy to let a bad thing happen and not get a lesson from it. Look for the lesson! It's there! My wife used to say, we are all put on this earth for a reason and that there is a reason for what happens to us. I fail to see the reason my wife had to die so young. I have learned from it though. Many lessons. Some, I wish I could forget, but I do get some benefit from the others. I'll finish this post with another quote that was on my wife's little note from the past. "Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It puts out the little, and it kindles the great." Roger de Bussy Robutin The final one I will mention here is: "It is difficulties that show what men are." I wonder what my difficulties show me to be in my wife's eyes. "Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected." That little gem was said by Steve Jobs. And he is right. There is a reason that Apple products are so highly regarded. That's because their products are innovative and useful to the consumer...unlike some of the stuff that is for sale out there.
I don't know if its me, but I just don't see quality work any more. A lot of the products on the market today, no matter which product category you look at, seem to be junk. The last three air conditioners I have bought have lasted about two years. None of them worked very well to begin with, and then they just ended up dying. The brands were General Electric and Haier. Granted I gave Haier a try twice since one of them I suspected may have gotten hit by lightning. Still even before they broke, all three of them would have to be shut down at some point due to ice building up on the coils. Okay, so no luck with air conditioners, so what. What bout vacuums. I have hardwood floors throughout my house, so vacuums really don't get a hard workout on the four throw rugs I have. Even so, we go through about one vacuum a year and about five belts for each of them. When I was younger, vacuums worked for ever. We had one for about fifteen years when I was a kid. Now, it's one year tops! Well, maybe I am the only one having a bad time with appliances. So what about food and household products? Has anyone noticed that prices for common food stuffs have skyrocketed in price since we were kids? And when the prices don't go up, the size of the packages get smaller. A perfect example is found in pretzels. Pretzels haven't changed at all in fifty years. Yet the box that cost me $0.50 when I was a kid now cost me $1.39. They are the same pretzels... no improvements. The same size package...yet the price has more than doubled. This is not really a quality problem. At least not with the pretzels. The problem here is with the quality of our currency. The U.S. government (the Federal Reserve actually) has depreciated the dollar so much that prices have risen just to cover the depreciation in our currency. It is disgusting and it needs to stop! But this is a topic for a different blog post entirely. To get back to the quote at the top of the page, I think everyone needs to focus and make their LIVES the yardstick of quality. Do this by making sure that everything you do is done to the best of your abilities. So many people cut corners in their lives and then wonder why they are unhappy. We all have inner pictures of how we are. The more we cheat and take the easy way out, the more our inner picture gets distorted. It must be hard to hold a good self image of yourself if you are constantly lying. It must be hard to picture yourself as a success if you are constantly cutting corners or just saying something is good enough, even though you know in your heart that the job wasn't done properly. Words and thoughts have power. The more you give yourself the opportunity to look down on yourself, the harder it will be to build your self esteem. No one can do this for you. I can tell my daughters I think they are great everyday, but as long as they are doing things that lower their own self worth, they will never benefit from my praise. AND if I praise them about something I know is not true, then I can't honestly build my own self esteem either. I try to encourage my daughters every day. But I will not encourage them about something that isn't true. I might find something else to encourage them about, but I won't encourage them about something that isn't true. In the end, it is up to all of us to deliver quality in our own lives. No matter what I give my daughters, I can't build their self esteem. They have to do that on their own. Only they know how hard they worked on anything or how well something they did really is. To grow, they need to deliver quality. And so do I, if I want to grow as a person. Tonight, think of something you can do tomorrow where you can deliver real quality. When tomorrow comes do it! And do it to the best of your ability. After completing the task, see if you don't feel better about yourself. I know I will! I just read the book "Biscuit "". I think the book could have been called "Biscuit Goes To
Bed.'' It was very hard to get Biscuit to go to sleep. First he wanted a snack.Then he wanted a drink. He also wanted a hug, a kiss, his blanket and his toy. Finally, he fell asleep! I liked this book very much. Ashleigh Henry Ford once said "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young." This is kind of true. I know people my age who act like they are seventy. Always complaining and saying they can't do something because they are too old for this or that. I also know older people who say they are too old to learn something new. I say bullshit to both ideas!
Life is for learning, and challenges are the spice of life. As many of you know, I train in karate. While there are some things I won't do because they are not worth the pain I would get to do them, I try not to say I can't do them. In many cases I can do them, but the pain isn't worth the effort. In some cases, I may not be able to do them right now, but it doesn't stop me from at least attempting them. Last night, for instance, we were doing power push ups. These are push ups designed to use explosive power. One of the push ups involved pushing your entire body off the floor (including your feet) and extending your hands out in front of you. They are called superman push ups because if you do them right, you look like superman flying. So far, I have not been able to do one...but I keep trying. At this point, I can get my entire body off the floor, But I can not extend my hands all the way out and get them back in in time to catch myself on my hands (in other words, I land on my elbows and body (no face plants though!)). Some people would say. I can't do it and give up. But that won't advance my training. In fact, it will hurt it! It is okay to reach a plateau where you cannot do something...it happens all the time. What is not okay, is to not try to surpass that plateau. To be realistic, there will always be some things that I may never be able to do. That doesn't mean I should give up! It just means I need to find a way to work past the challenge. As I get older, I want to attack my challenges, whether they be mental or physical. I believe no one is too old to learn. They may not want to put in the effort, but they are not too old. Currently the oldest college graduate is Leo Plass. Leo got his associates degree at the ripe old age of 99! For a full four-year degree, Nola Ochs graduated from Fort Hays State University at the age of 95. She went on to earn her Masters degree at the age of 98. I don't know about you, but I respect the hell out of that! So you want to get old? Then stop learning, stop trying. Use your age as a crutch. Living is a state of mind and words have power. If you say that you are too old to do this or that, then I can almost guarantee that you will be! And believe me, you can talk yourself into the grave. I've seen it happen. My wife used to say she thought she would die young and would be dead by 38. She died two years ago...six days after her 38th birthday. Words have power. Please watch what you say. Today I made a boat. I got the idea from watching Curious George. It was not hard to make. My Grandma helped me. I like my boat very much.
Ashleigh The above quote is from Benjamin Franklin, and I love it so much for how true it is. The sad part is; not BARELY enough people realize this. I don't think this quote refers simply to school, either. I think it applies to general lessons in life too. I'd like to give you an example of what I mean. Another rule I try to live by is to learn by cause and effect- it's simply the ONLY way I learn. You can tell me the "proper" way to do something, yet if I think I see a better way, I'll still attempt it because I want to see the outcome. I know this may sound stupid, but bare with me. I'll try to explain.
Let me use baking as an example. If I watch someone bake, or cook, I won't learn anything. I know, I know... some people can learn from watching. But I am not one of those people. Now, IF I do actually start baking; and I'M the one baking... I'm going to follow my own ideas and do things my way. Trying to tell me what I SHOULD do won't help if I already have a set plan in mind. If I think your idea will work better and more efficiently than mine, then I'll use it. Otherwise? I'm going to stick with my own plan and see how it turns out. I NEED to know the outcome of things. I've come to the conclusion that that's what drives my headstrong streak; simply wanting results. I don't like being told what to do if I think I know better and I'd rather fail trying to prove my point and learn from my mistake than make no mistakes at all. Can you imagine going through life and making NO mistakes? HOW WOULD YOU LEARN!? I wouldn't be able to. Mistakes, whether they are mine or someone else's, are my biggest source for learning. Because I see what a failed outcome does. And then I can usually fix it by examining the failed attempt. I don't know; that's just how I am. And now a perfectly good quote has been turned yet again into a rambling and semi-senseless blog post. Ah well. I'll end it here before it gets TOO far out. ~Maddie |
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