"If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self." This is a quote by Napoleon Hill. Hill was one of the first self-help gurus and the author of "Think & Grow Rich". I like the quote above because it is true.
One of our harshest critics is ourselves. There are so many reasons that people feel insecure. For some, it is their looks. For others, it may be their intelligence or how they think they are perceived. None of these things really matter though! What matters is what we think. If we think our looks are going to hold us back, then they will. We will make sure of it. If we think we are dumb, then inevitably we will do something to reinforce this feeling within ourselves. I believe, to be happy in life and be successful, no matter what your definition of success is, we need to first conquer our own self doubts. Self doubts can sabotage nearly anything that you want to do, even if the doubts you have are not directly tied to what it is you are trying to achieve! For example, let's say you want to start your own business. You may have a great idea for a business and all of the drive necessary to get it off the ground. Even so, you believe in your heart that people won't want to buy things from you because you are fat. Over time, you begin to focus so much about what people think about your weight, that you fail to focus on how to present your product. You begin to avoid instances where you need to be in front of a potential customer. Eventually, your business fails and you say to yourself, see I told you that you were too fat. Try to lose some weight first next time! So yes, the business failed. Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with you being overweight. Instead it had everything to do with how you acted because of your beliefs. The example I used above is a little far fetched. And yet, it isn't really. Now picture the above scenario and instead replace the "too fat to be successful" example with your own fear. How would your fear impact the result? I hate to speak to people because they will think I am stupid. I don't want to go out and ask people what they think unless my friends are with me because I am too shy. I don't want to help that customer with their problem because I may not be smart enough to give them what they need. As I said, replace the example with your own internal fear. What would happen? How would you react? Does your internal voice stop you from making rational decisions or from taking decisive actions? If so, then you need to conquer yourself first! Remember, that no one is perfect. Robin Williams, a comic that made thousands of people laugh and was well liked by millions, constantly fought depression. Many other Hollywood stars or rock musicians also battled depression. They could not see their own self worth, or what others valued in them. My wife had a similar problem. She constantly battled her inner demons. Because she set such a high standard on her looks, she battled two eating disorders. When they strains from the disorders got too great, she would drink to self medicate. The constant alcohol use took a toll on both her mind and her body. Three years ago, she drank herself to death. The best way to fight your inner demons is to recognize your inner fear, and then do what needs to be done anyway. If someone won't buy from me because they think I am fat, and yet they need the product I have anyway, then that is them not being rational, not me! If I say something, to help someone make a decision and they think I am weird, then so be it! None of those things are going to kill me! How I react to those things, may kill me though. Before you go to conquer the world, first be sure to conquer your own self doubts. It is likely the hardest battle that any of us will ever have to face alone.
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