"Accept no one's definition of your life; Define yourself." That's a quote by Harvey Fierstein. So who is Harvey Fierstein? Glad you asked! Harvey is a Tony Award winning actor, best known for his work in Hairspray and Torch Song Trilogy. I have seen neither, to be honest, but that is who he is.
Harvey has a hell of a quote here though, and I wish that both of my daughters will follow his advice. To be happy, you truly must live for yourself and do what you believe will make you happy. While money isn't everything, recognize that it helps to have some money, so try and find something that will make you happy, while still giving you the ability to bring home the bacon... or at a minimum some ham and eggs. No matter how you decide to define yourself, if you work hard, you should be able to reach your goals. Remember, the best paths are not always straight and narrow. Sometimes you may have to leave the well-worn path and strike out on your own in a new direction. Do this, but have an idea of where you want to go beforehand. When I started my own business, I knew I wanted to work from home and spend more time with my children. I created a business that achieved my goals, while also allowing me to do what I loved to do. After my wife and I separated due to her illness, my business could no longer survive in its current form since I had to little girls to raise on my own... one of them being a baby. Something had to change. Slowly I changed things in my life to allow me to continue to follow my path. I struggled for many years as I brought in nannies to help me to raise the children and did what I could to help Sharon fight her addictions and get on with her life. My solutions were not enough, though, and my situation remained untenable. After letting the nannies go, I spent about a year with no income coming in, while I took care of my daughters and looked for solutions. My Mom came to live with us in 2013 after my father died, and her help was enough to allow me to regain a client. All of the work was "in-house" however, and I could not use those reports to gain new clients. I was between a rock and a hard place. The money coming in was enough to pay the bills, but was not enough to rebuild the business. After a year and a half of living off of retirement savings, I needed the income to keep afloat. My divorce was amicable, but costly and with the drain on my savings, I was not in a position to drop the client who was supplying me with the in-house work, and look for clients where my reports were marketable for all. Finally, in 2014, I decided to put my business on hold and go back to corporate work. Although I no longer run my own business, I still work from home daily, and I can still raise my girls and home school them during the day. In the end, is it your work that defines you? Or something else in your life? For me, it is something else. When people ask me now, I tell them I am an analyst, or a writer, for I am both. At the same time I am a teacher and a Father, and a Sensei. Hopefully, I am also a good friend to some, a good brother and a good son to others. For my daughters, I know I am a good Father. And in the end, THAT is how I define myself.
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