"Don't fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend that hugs you." I could not find who said this little gem, but it is kind of true. I have had more grief thrown my way from a fake friend than I have ever had from an enemy.
In my entire life, I think I have had only one or two fake friends. Oddly enough, one was enough to break up friendships with true friends due to the lies he told. One guy I ran into was being very distant when I ran into him, and when I asked why, he said that the other had said I had been saying bad things about him (I won't go into detail here). So I asked him did he believe that? He said that he did. I said, "well I didn't say that, and I am not going to try and dissuade you since you seem to believe it, but you do realize that I haven't talked to that guy in over a decade?" He got a look of surprise on his face and said really? I said yeah and told him why I never hung out with the other guy anymore. The funny thing was that the guy had told him I said that only a couple of years ago, and only said that he did not hang out with me any more. He didn't say it had been over ten years since he last saw me, and he didn't tell him the real reason on why we no longer hung out. I said, well now you know and walked away. That old memory came to me when I saw that quote. You see, it didn't really matter to me that the guy really didn't want to hang out. I didn't either! I just saw him and said hello. I live in New Hampshire now, and the fact of the matter is I rarely go back to New Jersey. What did bother me was that this other guy, after about a decade, still went out of his way to tell lies about me. I have not thought of that guy in years at that point, even though we had been good friends. And yet, there he was spreading ill will all those years later. My advice: Treat everyone as you would want to be treated. If they don't treat you that way in return, then avoid them. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up with a fake friend. And with a fake friend, you are never sure when they are going to plot against you. The safest thing you can do is keep your private thoughts about others private and not share them with your other friends, unless they are positive comments. By doing this, then people will only have heard you saying positive things about others and they will be less likely to believe something concocted by a fake friend.
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