"For long you live and high you fly, And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry, And all you touch and all you see, Is all your life will ever be..."
Okay, time for a weird post. The quote above is, of course, from the song "Breathe" by Pink Floyd. Originally, I wanted to write a post about kindness tonight, but the last line of that quote kept coming into my head...And all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be". No matter what I started to think about, or what quote I read, that line just kept coming back to me. Finally, I saw a connection between the lyric and what I wanted to write about, and I thought I'd run with it. We all have inner pictures of ourselves. It's either how we want to see ourselves or what we think others see when they look at us. The two ARE mutually exclusive. What I want to see is a charming middle-aged guy who is trying his best to raise his daughters to be loving, caring people, with the ability to think for themselves.I want to see a man who likes to lead by example and does his best to do so. A man who thinks, and lives his life to the best of his abilities. A man who is in semi-decent shape, and doesn't really care what anyone thinks of him except for his daughters. Although I try not to care what other's think of me, occasionally I flirt with the idea that others may see me differently. Without taking the time to get to know me, it's more than likely that many see me as a middle-aged overweight guy who works a low-wage job that allows him to wear T-shirts and jeans and go for long periods without shaving. They likely see a man who still lives with his Mom, thinking that he couldn't hack it on his own so he moved back in with his parents. Since I work from home, many only get to see me with my girls on the weekend, so they likely think I am divorced and just get my kids on the weekend. I don't see myself that way, and I know that many of those assumptions are not true, and yet, when I am feeling down, I oftentimes feel that is the way that many people likely perceive me. "But all we touch and all we see, is all our lives will ever be." I no longer travel in wide circles. I am too busy, to start, and I also just don't care to anymore. I am content to leave my fingerprints on the souls of the few that I love. While I like to meet new people when I have the chance, I don't feel compelled to do so. I try to leave all the people I meet with a smile on their face... although it is not always possible. I do want my girls to see that there is more to life than working from home, karate and shopping though. I try to take them out when I can to go hiking or fishing, to the movies or a nice restaurant, or even the library. Museums and parks are always fun and this summer, I will be taking them on a cross-country train trip so that they can see some of the wonders of our country up close and personal. If all goes well, we will be doing trips like that more often. In the end, I care little what anyone thinks other than my daughters. I want to touch their hearts and help them to see the world for its good points. I am trying to help them to get started living lives that matter to them. I want what they see and touch to be important to them. And I want them to remember, so that the smiles I give and the tears I cry, and all that I touch, and all that I see, will help to make their lives a little bit more than my life will ever be.
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