Honestly, I am at a complete loss for words currently. This weekend has been all kinds of long and messed up and my inspiration to write is gone. I know I promised you guys answers to the questions I left you with last week; but I'm going to put them off... at least for today. I have enough on my mind without adding to it with philosophical questions about my own life. If I feel better tomorrow, I'll try to post them up.
Maybe I should make an effort to answer them, though. At least a few. It may help take my mind off of shit, so let's go. If you had known 5 years ago you would be where you are right now, would you have believed it? 5 years ago would put me at the age of 9, almost 10... and if you told me where I'd be currently I think I'd have a hard time accepting it. I mean, in the course of five years I've gone through my parents divorcing and my mother's death, plus depression and the anxiety and pressure that came with that... I've also gotten past that and realized a lot. Friendships have come and gone, as have relationships. I have a lot more memories and experiences now than I did then and I have a much deeper understanding of life that seems to grow more each day. If you were to tell 9 year old me all of that... it would be a smack in the face as while I was mature for my age, I was nowhere near the maturity level I am now. I'm still not mature enough to "adult" successfully, but that's okay. I'm still a kid and I have the rest of my life to learn how to grow up. Honestly, I wish I could've had a more normal childhood. But it is what it is and the past can't be changed. I can only take what I've learned and use it to help me now and in the future... and to help others. I don't know... there's the answer to the first question. I'll finish the rest tomorrow. Thank you for taking the time to read. - Maddie
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