"That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it, but everyone else can."
The above quote- yes, that's one quote broken into two pieces- comes from author and poet Lang Leav. I've written about some of her poetry in the past, as she's one of my favorite poets along with Rupi Kaur and Robert Frost. In any case, I believe the above quote is a metaphor for depression, and a rather beautiful one at that. I'd like to go a bit into detail and explain why. First off, there's a centered belief about people who are depressed- that they always try to make others happy, because they'd never want anyone else to feel the way they do. While this has been true in my experience with people who are depressed and regarding my own depression, this definitely doesn't stand for everyone who suffers. A few of my friends have been through extremely emotionally abusive relationships, where the person who was hurting them justified the pain they inflicted onto their partner by saying that they were depressed and couldn't help it. There is no justification for being an asshole; that's all I'll say. I believe that this quote is reflecting on the brighter, happier belief- that those who are hurting and most "in the dark" radiate the brightest light for those around them. I remember even throughout my depression, I'd be up with my friends helping them through their struggles. I could never bring myself to abandon someone, a negatively positive trait of mine that goes hand in hand with my extreme forgiveness. Even though this did put slightly more stress on me, I wanted my friends to be okay. More than anything, I wanted them to recover with me- reflecting back, a few of them actually have and I couldn't be prouder. The problem with giving so much of yourself away is that you can't pour from an empty glass. Until you take care of yourself, you really can't help anyone else... you have to have enough light to support yourself as well. That's not the point of this quote, but this is where I believe the quote gets things wrong. You can be a beacon of light, of hope, for others. But you cannot be this beacon consistently. It's unhealthy and un-natural, particularly if you never see the light yourself. You can't put a hold on your own recovery for the world around you. You won't go anywhere. I think the most important thing at the end of the day is to put yourself first. Before trying to heal anyone else, heal yourself. I was lucky enough to have a supportive group of friends who in turn helped me heal, and I was also lucky enough to be smart and focus on myself, too. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Don't feel guilty for healing yourself first. - Maddie
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