Today, I want to dedicate this blog post to the ladies in my life, and what I have learned from each of them. I am not sure how long this post is going to be, or how accurate. I will say that what I write will be from my heart. I am going to try and put a paragraph about each, and then I will finish up with some final thoughts. Too many times, thoughts like the ones I am putting down go unsaid. We feel that the people involved know how we feel. We don't think deeply about these feelings and end up never saying them. It can lead to regrets. Regrets that you may live with for the rest of your life. I have had it with regrets. They suck, and they are not necessary. The best way to avoid them is to say what you feel. It also helps if you know what you feel! I think many people repress their feelings or not talk about them if they do recognize them. I am talking at a deeper level here. Everyone knows when they are angry or hurt. People don't seem to have problems expressing these. Many people also don't seem to have a problem saying "I love you" In fact, they will continue to say it, even while they are cheating on their spouse or neglecting their children. Talk is cheap! The feelings I am talking about here are buried deep. They are the things that you think about late at night, when you find yourself awake staring at the clock and waiting for morning. Not the negative thoughts either. I am talking about the things that you are truly grateful for. For two nights in a row I have had trouble sleeping, Each night, I thought about my life and the people in it. I realized that I am learning new things about myself and others every day. I was amazed at the different feelings of emotion I would have while thinking. Anyway, I know a lot of people. I am not mentioning everyone here. Just the ladies I have the most contact with. The below paragraphs are being done in no specific order. My grandmother has been on my mind as of late, so I am going to start with her. This is a picture of my grandmother with Maddie back in 2005. She passed away two years ago. From my grandmother I learned many things. Aside from kindness and generosity, the usual things that you learn from a grandmother you don't see often due to distance, I also learned the power of a kind word, the meaning of the word devotion and the beauty of keeping things simple. Over the forty eight years I knew my grandmother, I don't think I ever heard her speak ill about anyone. If she didn't like someone, she didn't associate with them. Period. If she heard something bad about a person, she would say that's too bad, or I'm sorry to hear that. If she had to relay on bad news, she always couched it that the person was struggling with this or that, not that they were a (put your own label here). My grandmother knew that my wife and I had gotten a divorce and that Sharon was struggling with a number of issues. Not once did she say anything disparaging about her. She would always ask about her, and afterward tell me that she was praying for her. I really appreciated that. She never pretended that Sharon no longer existed, or expressed anger about the situation. She kept it simple and allowed me to tell her what I wanted to tell her. There were times that I knew that she had already heard about something I was talking about. She allowed me to go on and tell her the situation through my perspective...never interrupted or corrected me. On occasion, she would ask me a question or two about what was happening, but the questions were always more for clarification where my own life was concerned. When we were speaking about people other than those in my immediate family, she would ask more questions about what was going on. I think this was because in her later years, others in the family would not speak to her on some issues because they did not want to worry her. I always thought this was a mistake. She actually worried more then, because she could see the worried looks when the conversation turned to certain topics or people. I was always honest with her about my troubles, and I think she appreciated that. Our visits over the last few years of her life were always pleasant, and I enjoyed the time we spent talking. My final thoughts on what my grandmother taught me are in regards to devotion. My grandfather died in 1981. My grandmother never remarried after his death. In fact, over thirty years after his death, she would still occasionally tear up if she was talking about him. Thirty one years after he died, she joined him. Rest in peace Grandma. My youngest daughter Ashleigh never ceases to amaze me. She is one of the most joyous people I know. From her, I learn how to look at life through a different, joyous lens. She wears her heart on her sleeve. Everyday, she tries to see the good in life and point it out to me. "look at the beautiful flowers!", "Oh! Look at the cute puppies!", "What a beautiful Day!" are all things she has said to me this week. It's almost as if she wants to make sure that I don't miss the little things that are making her happy. I hope she never loses that aspect of her personality. When she is sad, it is because others make her so. Fear doesn't seem to be in her vocabulary either...which worries me. I learn to slow down when I am around her. I learn patience, and understanding. While I have been trying to teach her how to read over the past few months, I think she has taught me more lessons than I have her. Ashleigh never really got to know her Mom. I brought her home alone from the hospital when she was four days old, two weeks premature and underweight and never looked back. The closest thing she has had to a mother figure has been me and my Mom. On Mother's Day, she wished me Happy Mother's Day and gave me a hug. I really appreciated that. It also shows the depth of her understanding. Amazing that she is only 5 years old. I love her very much! Her ability to read is getting better by the day. The final thing she has taught me is that not everyone learns in the same way or at the same rate. Be patient and try new things is my motto now. We'll work together. Maddie is my oldest daughter. She teaches me lots also. The things Maddie teaches me are almost limitless. At this point, speaking with Maddie is like speaking with a well educated adult, if you stick to topics she is familiar with. The fun is to get her to open up on topics that she isn't familiar with. Her leaps of logic and the intuitive way she reaches her conclusions never ceases to amaze me. She seems surprised that her friends turn to her for advice on all sorts of topics. For the most part, I am not surprised about that...The only thing that surprises me is that many of her friends are older than her, and yet they turn to her for relationship advice...even though she has never had a relationship! Maddie teaches me that friendships are important and that happiness is best found in the little things. She helps me to see that people can be older than their years and on the flip side, younger than their age too! On a lighter note, Madison is at the point where she is now teaching me about technology! Her coding skills are improving and she now is at least one language in front of me. Moreover, I learn a lot of little tricks watching her play Xbox and I enjoy the time we spend playing that game together. Finally, she has taught me that time, patience, and persistence can achieve many things. The last things I learned from Maddie is that she has a very hard left hook! Good girl Maddie! I think I will end this post here. I still have some work to finish up for my job, and I have three more ladies to write about. On Monday, I will write about my Mom, my sister, and my late wife. Have a great weekend!
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
September 2021
Categories
All
|