he above quote is from Dr. Seuss, and I think that nothing could be more true. Reflect on your life for a moment. I know, I know, it's a bit early in the post for this philosophical nonsense; but seriously- do it. How many memories can you recount? Do you remember what you had for breakfast? What you last said to your loved one(s)? How much do you have stored in your mind? Now; imagine if during the night, your loved one died. Would you then remember their last words; or the last thing you said to them? So many questions, I know. But they all tie in to the quote. Death can come at any time. As I have said in a previous post... 89,000 people die in their sleep each night. My close friend's mother died in her sleep last night. It happens. Sometimes; you expect it. Sometimes... death can take the most unlikely people. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. As for me, the only reason I so distinctly remember August 1st of 2013 is because it is the date of my mother's death. If she hadn't died that day, I wouldn't be able to tell you anything about it- it would just be another day. However, since it hold significance- I can tell you about that day and the night prior to it. I remember I was watching funny YouTube videos with my Dad. It was about midnight, maybe 11:45 ish at earliest. We got a phone call. This is uncommon, that late at night. My dad rushes to the phone; picks it up. It's the hospital calling to let us know my mom is in critical condition. My dad grabs his coat, shoes and keys and runs out the door, leaving me up with a phone number and strict instructions to not wake my sister up. I remember grabbing my dad's secondary cellphone and also my iPod, and, unsure of what to do; playing World of Warcraft. I played until about 2 in the morning. I can remember my character being a werewolf and I remember running around doing quests, trying to keep myself sidetracked. However, at 2 I went upstairs and I remember crawling into bed beside my grandmother and talking to her until I fell asleep at about 2:30. Not much later at about 4 AM, I was awoken by my Dad who told me my mom had passed... I remember laying my head back down into the pillow and telling myself that it was all a dream. I woke up 30 minutes later to the harsh reality that it wasn't. I got up and forced myself to go downstairs to talk to my dad and the rest after that fades away. I remember refusing to believe it... and even now; 2 years later I sometimes can't. But it's the truth. I can remember it so vividly- but can you; as an outside reader remember that day? Does it hold ANY significance to you? If you aren't a part of my family- and even if you are... it probably doesn't. It's just another day. When I was 6, I didn't regard playing with my Mom and spending time with her as anything but that. It was natural. I didn't expect it to go away anytime soon. However, 8 years later and 2 years after her death, I cherish all the good memories that I ever made with her. The moments that passed without me realizing; IN THOSE MOMENTS, how important they truly were and would come to be. I had forgotten about most of them until the time of her passing- and then they all flooded back, a bittersweet memorial of her. Tonight, I wound up talking to my best friend about death and the timing and probability of it. It started off rather stupid and carefree, but turned deep. I'll quote him as saying "I need sleep, plus what is there to offer right now that won't be here in the morning?". This launched me into what I refer to as my "deep" mode, and I quoted to him that every moment is precious since tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. He tried replying with "but I know I'm going to be here tomorrow. I have someone and something to live for." I wasn't having any of it and promptly told him that if he had a fatal heart attack in his sleep, or if someone killed him in his sleep, that prissy quote would not have any effect on him. "I know I won't for I have someone and something to live for" He then continued on about having someone to live for. I confronted him with this:
"What if the person you have to live for dies? Then what?" "Cause I won't let them" "You don't have unbridled control over life or death Of others or your own." He faced me with "how would you know?". A good point... which I answered with the following: "If someone was behind you right now and slit your throat you would have no control over it. If a bomb was dropped on your house and you died on impact. You would have no control over it. If you got into a fatal car accident tomorrow due to the other driver. You would have no control over it. Shit happens that's uncontrollable." "See these are all ifs" "They are all if's, but they are all if's with a probability stamped on them. All ways to die have a probability to them and indefinitely ONE of those if's will kill us all It may not be the same if for everyone; but an if kills all of us." An "if" will inevitably kill you someday; and I don't care WHO you are. An if killed my mother. An if killed my grandfather. An if also killed my friend's mother. Tomorrow is not guaranteed; but death eventually is. Make the most of the life you have right now. Waste no time in being the best you you can possibly be. And don't waste precious moments. ~Maddie
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