Last night it hit me how much getting older sucks. Cheap words coming from a 15 year old, right? Just hear me out. I was standing outside with my dad and I glanced up at the stars (I promise, no more quotes from earlier) and I realized that I didn't have the time to sit and gaze at them without feeling like I was falling behind my own schedule. Lately, I've felt quite overwhelmed... even though I suppose I shouldn't.
I'm balancing a relationship, 3 classes (one of which is a college course) all on an accelerated pace, karate, practicing technique, kickboxing, and that's before you add in all the errands I run with my family AND the time I take to help my friends along with spending time with my dad and sister. Oh, and let's not forget church and the time I spend hiking and relaxing myself so I don't go insane. I know this sounds like a lot of complaining, but it's not, trust me. If I wasn't satisfied with my life I would be making the necessary changes (to my ability at least). No, I'm very happy with my life... I just wished there was more time. More time to relax, more time to enjoy the little things in life. I wish I had the time to properly spend a few hours with my sister. I wish I had the time to relax outside and stargaze. I wish I had the time to hike for awhile. I wish that I could balance everything out perfectly; so I didn't feel as though my schedule is constantly full... because while I'm happy, that's how I feel. It's a struggle. And I feel bad for not being as available to help people. I feel bad for not having the time because sometimes I forget that it's not my responsibility to keep everyone happy; try as I may. I think that sometimes, I need to step back and realize that I need to be keeping myself happy, too. Because at the end of the day, when I die I'll be dying for myself and no one else- and I'd rather have a life of happiness behind me. "Time is free, but it is priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it... you can never get it back." "Time is what we want most, yet use the worst." "There is only one thing more precious than our time, and that is who we spend it on." "You will never "find" time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." "If you don't make the time to work on creating the life you want, you're eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don't want." - maddie
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