"We do not remember days; we remember moments." is a quote from Cesare Pavese. Pavese was an Italian author, antifascist and communist who committed suicide in 1950. He was, at the time, viewed as one of Italy's best writers. Even so, without that quote, I never would have known who he was. Some people are best left to obscurity!
At any rate, I think Pavese was spot on with his quote... thank you Captain Obvious! We don't really remember days do we. Instead, we remember moments from those days that had a big impact on us. Think of 9/11/2001, for instance. We remember the date, but do we really remember the day? I can tell you bits and pieces from that day, but that's it. I can't tell you what time I woke up, or what I had for breakfast. In fact, I can't tell you a lot about that day, other than what I was doing at the moment I heard about the twin towers and what I thought about then. I remember I was working in my backyard pulling weeds from a flower bed, when I heard a large boom. We lived in Pennington back then, which is about 50 - 60 miles from New York by road. Likely closer by how the crow flies. When I heard the boom, I remember thinking that they must have been blasting at the quarry up the road. That wasn't the case though. Soon after I heard it, my wife came to get me and told me my dad had called and said to turn on the TV, a plane had hit one of the twin towers. I remember going through the basement door and down the stairs to the TV and watching the news. My mom was over the house helping us with one of our many projects since we had just bought the house and were remodeling it ourselves. My wife, was 8 months pregnant with our first child. If those tragic moments in New York had not happened, I likely would not remember anything from that day. Everything we were doing was just too ordinary. Instead, two planes blast into the world trade center, another hits the pentagon and one more crashed in Pennsylvania and all of a sudden, I remember what I was doing at that moment. I also remember what I was thinking at the time. Buildings don't have to collapse to create a moment to remember. In fact, most of my memories are pleasant. Sure some arguments make it into the old memory slots...but most of what I remember is pleasant. The sound of wind blowing through the trees while I am hiking in the fall...the tug on the line when I hook into a nice-sized fish. My daughter grabbing my finger right after she is born and she is just being handed to me by the nurse. She was so small...I was afraid I would hurt her by accident because she was so small and I was big and had rarely held a baby before. Then Maddie grabbed my finger, and I knew how gentle I had to be. My life is made of moments. Others can remember the import of a date. I'll hold my moments. Grabbing my wife's hand on the beach that night many years ago. Holding her as she took her final breaths. The joy of bringing my daughters into the world. The grief in having my wife die too damn soon. These are the moments that make up my life. And live in my memories. Little glimpses of smiles, words said in jest...or in all seriousness. These are the things that we cling to. They bring joy to us in the future when someone brings them up, or sadness if we reflect on the sorrowful ones when we are alone too much. Let historians remember the day...and distort truth to fit their world view. I'll remember the moments that have meaning to me. Laughter among friends, a good meal with family and learning something new while reading a book all stay in my head. Thoughts of people I once knew and who meant the world to me, who I have now not seen in over forty years. The moments are there, but the dates are not. Think back on your life, and then think about history. Stuffed with facts, figures, and exact dates. Tell me, how much of it do you think is bullshit? Probably most of it. Yet its there, and I will loosely teach it to my daughters...but more so to use as context for other lessons I've rambled enough here. To put it in perspective, my life is made up of many moments. The exact dates are unimportant. Sometimes dates are important (you never want to forget a child's birthday!). Most are not. Can I tell you the exact date I bought the house I now sit in? Nope. In fact, I can't even tell you the year. It's just not important to me. I am here now and there are more important things to remember than a specific day or year. Remember the meaningful moments in your life, both good and bad and you will go far towards living a fulfilled life with few regrets.
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