"What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be." That little gem is from an unknown author. Well, unknown to me anyway, and also unknown to the person who put the quote up on the quote page I had been reading. No matter who wrote the quote, there was a lot of wisdom bundled up in that one short sentence! We all have pictures in our heads of how life is supposed to be. Yet many people feel cheated that their lives are lacking a lot of what they expected it to be. Why is that? I think the picture above is a good example of that. That picture is my front yard. When someone asks me to think of home, that is usually how I picture it. I see myself sitting on my front porch, enjoying a slight breeze or maybe playing frisbee with my daughters barefoot out on the lawn. That is how I like to picture it. The problem is, that that isn't the reality. Reality is that I spend more time mowing that lawn than I do playing frisbee (which I have never done there anyway). Secondly, it would take a brave soul to walk barefoot there since my dog uses it as his private toilet. Lots of dog poop hidden among that grass! There is another problem as well. For six or seven months out of the year my lawn looks like (or has the potential to look like) the picture below: Yep, that is the same front yard. That big lump of snow to the extreme left middle of the picture is the big rock. Up here in New Hampshire, we have twice had blizzards on Halloween in the ten years that I have been up here. Last year, we had a snowstorm on Thanksgiving...that came as a mild surprise for my sister and brother in law who drove up here from New Jersey for the holiday!
My point here is that life changes faster than our perceptions about how life is supposed to be. If you are constantly going through life hoping that it will match some unobtainable ideal you have in your head all of the time, then you are bound to be disappointed...particularly if you take no steps to make that ideal come true. On the other hand, if you put it into your head that life has its seasons and that there are steps you can take to enjoy them all, then I think your life will be a lot happier. When life gives you snow, then make a snowman! Now, I know my above example is very simple, and doesn't pertain to everything that life throws at you. Still, if you try, you can take steps to make your life as enjoyable as possible. To start, go to where you think you have the best chance to be happy. That might be around particular people, or it might instead be a particular place, where you don't know any of the people. Second, try to get a job that suits your personality or that you are happy doing. Now, when I say job I don't necessarily mean go work for somebody else. You can also start your own business or do volunteer work. When I say job I mean find a way to make some money so that you can live comfortably. By living comfortably I mean in a way that is acceptable to you. I have always found that if I am going to spend my time doing something other than playing or relaxing, then I want to be paid as much as possible for the time I am spending that I can. That way, when I am not working, I have enough cash to do whatever I please (within reason). I also find it is best for me to do something that I find is interesting. In the end, we all spend a lot of our time working in one form or another to stay alive. I have always wanted to have my time working to at least be enjoyable to me. The more ways you can make your work enjoyable the better it will be for you, and the more likely it will be that you will have an enjoyable life. Anyway, I rambled and got off topic a bit. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you currently feel like you have a screwed up life, don't fret and think that you are the only one. We all feel screwed up at times. There are two ways out of it. 1. change your perceptions of what life should be so that it is closer to reality. Or 2. take steps to make your perceptions your reality. If you don't like snow in your life (ever), then move to Florida. That's a bit extreme, but you see what I mean. In other words, if you think your life should be spent by the ocean and you live in the upper Midwest, then you have a serious problem between perception and reality! So, you can either move to the seashore, or you can change the way you perceive life should be to make you happy. For me, I like to focus on the little things in life to keep me happy. A hot cup of coffee, the beautiful all-season views outside my windows, watching my daughters grow up... that kind of stuff. I don't need personal drama, or TV to be happy, although I do like a good book and laughter in my life. I guess what I am trying to say, is enjoy what you have...for some day you might not have it. It is also a lot better than lamenting about something that you don't have now and maybe never will.
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