Who might change your life? You never know. You never know, even when you think you know. Did you ever meet someone for the first time and make a bad impression? Or maybe think that you made a bad impression? Yep, me too. But you know, no one knows what the future brings, and even that person may be the one that changes your life.
To prove my point, here is another story about my wife and I. You see, even though my wife and I's first date happened after I grabbed her hand walking on the beach all those years ago, I had known her before that night... and after our first meeting you would have thought that I was a guy that she was never going to date! We met while I was an analyst at Merrill Lynch. Sharon was the girl who dropped off the faxes at everyone's office each morning. She had other duties too, but that is how I knew her (back then, faxes were common ways to get info from companies and I would get about 30 a day). While I would say hello when she dropped them off, we never really had a conversation. Then one day while I was walking to my boss' office, I saw her sitting in a cubicle out near his office. Given he was on the phone, and she was very pretty, I decided to stop by and chit chat with her a bit while I waited for him to get off the phone. The conversation started off okay, with me saying something like "Hi, so this is where you sit!" even though I knew that she didn't sit where she was regularly. She said: "No, not usually, but this is where she was assigned today." We started to talk a bit and I pointed out her accent and she said she was from England and that she had come over as a nanny, and that she was 22 years old. I said "Really, there aren't a lot of babies at Merrill Lynch" and she smiled and said she was no longer a nanny and that she was working as a temp and that her husband worked in another section. I was totally shocked that she was married. She looked so young and beautiful... and I really dug her accent. And so, I did what I normally did when I spoke to a pretty girl and was thrown a curve ball...I opened my mouth and stuck my foot in it! I said: " You're married already? Wow, you're so young! I guess that's a good way to stay in the country!" Well, that went off about as good as you'd expect. While she gave a smile, she got a weird look on her face and me realizing what I said, and also noting that she was married, made a hasty retreat! At that moment, I never would have guessed that Sharon would go on to be my wife and change my life forever. It just goes to show that you never know who is going to be a big part of your life. That is why you should make it a habit of being kind to everybody... Which brings up the second part of my story. You see, after that poor beginning I continued to say hello to Sharon. Never hitting on her... she was married you know... but just being friendly. I was always taught to treat people as you also wanted to be treated. So that is what I do now and did then. I like when someone I recognize says hello to me and tries to make me smile. So I, in turn, try to do the same with the people I meet. One day, a group of us (four analysts) were walking into Merrill Lynch after going to lunch. Right near the door was Sharon and her husband. Instead of pretending that I didn't know her, as the other guys seemed to be doing, I waved and said hello. Years later, Sharon told me that that was when she knew I was different and a good person. You see, as we walked up, Sharon had seen us and had pointed us out to her husband as coworkers. As we walked up, she said all of the others started looking away, pretending that they didn't see her. I on the other hand, waved and said hello, which forced the others to also acknowledge her and say hello. She said, the greeting I gave her made her feel less uncomfortable because she didn't want to be snubbed in front of her husband after she had told him we were all coworkers. She had never forgotten that. A small meaningless moment, that happened to mean a lot to her. Another act of kindness finally brought us together. While I was working at Merrill Lynch, a number of us used to go out after work on Fridays. Usually, many of the younger secretaries would also join us. In July of 1999, a number of the guys rented a beach house in Long Branch on the Jersey shore. I didn't join in on the house since I already lived about 10 minutes from there anyway. Even so, I hung out with them every day on the weekends anyway since it was in my usual stomping grounds anyway. One weekend, we were going to have a party at the house and most of the younger people in the office were going. Sharon hadn't been invited since she never came out with us. Still, most of the floor was going and I believed that she must have heard about it. While talking with her, I told her that she should come to the party and bring whoever she wanted. By that I meant bring your husband. I gave her the address and told her what time it was starting up. I really didn't expect her to show up, but I wanted her to feel part of the group and so I invited her. I still believed she was married, so there was no secondary motive there for me. Well, she showed up around 9:00 that night with an Indian guy and Leora, an 18 year old intern who also worked at Merrill Lynch. When the guy had gone to get them beers, I said to Sharon, "Oh I didn't know your husband was an Indian." and she said he wasn't her husband, her husband had died a few months before. I had never known. To make a long story short, we hung out together all evening at the party. We had a great time, went for a walk on the beach later that evening, and started dating. Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated? It works for me! No one knows who is destined to be a special person in their lives. Oftentimes, people are different than they first appear. Remember, never judge a book by its cover! You never know who might change your life. If you don't take those initial steps to get to know someone, you may be shutting yourself out of the life you were meant to live. As my wife used to say, "Everything happens for a reason!" That is so true! Rest in peace Babe.
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