I love this quote so much. I don't have much of an explanation for it; I mean- it's pretty straight forward. You shouldn't fear dying. You should fear wasting the life you've been given by not living. Lost? Allow me to elaborate on the already-obvious.
For starters, I'm one of those people who doesn't fear death to begin with. And before I move on to the second part of this quote, I'm going to list a few reasons why death is nothing to fear.
And at the end of the day... how bad could not existing be? You won't even be conscious of your death or nonexistence. Want to know why? Because you'll be DEAD. However, what you SHOULD be afraid of doing is wasting what life you have. As of right now, you are a living, breathing person. You are conscious of everything. And if you spend all day worrying about death, what time will you have to actually ENJOY life? If you have no goals... set one. Work towards your dream. Be adventurous. Explore. Be happy. Live your life with no worries and no regrets. Live, love, laugh. Share your happiness. And don't ever fear the inevitable. ~ Maddie
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Polar bears live in the Arctic. It is cold and icy in the Arctic. When a polar bear is ready
to have cubs, it builds a den in a snowbank. She stays in the den with the cubs for 3 months. She will stay with her cubs for two and a half years. Polar bears eat seals and fish. Ashlegh
"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking." That's a quote by Marcus Aurelius. If everything that is attributed to him is actually his, then this man was truly a genius. He is like the Roman version of Confucius...only without the fortune cookies! Okay, so I am getting a little silly there, but I think you get the idea... he was a very wise man!
And I think he is right, happiness does dwell within us. Have you ever noticed that the things that give you lasting happiness can't really be bought? A cup of coffee with a friend, a smile shared between loved ones... holding your daughters' hands. I'd also add hugs from your daughters when they are getting ready to go to bed or leave the house, and of course the hugs that we give when getting up in the morning. Over the years, I have never seen material possesions ever lead to true happiness. Yes, I was a bit satisfied when I got my Z-28 or my Town Car, but that happiness quickly faded, to something akin to, Okay, so now what? Cars get old... they need repairs, they lead to bills. New clothes fade or wear out. Jewelry can only give so much satisfaction. Meanwhile, the memories of my daughters as they learned to walk or to talk are as vibrant today as they were yesterday. Nowadays, I collect moments, not things. In fact, I'd like to say that I still like to hunt for things... just not always buy them when I find them. When my wife was alive, we liked to go antiquing on the weekends. Usually, we had no idea what we wanted...until we saw it. I still have the occasional piece here or there. I still like to explore antique stores and flea markets. But some of the fun is gone now that my wife isn't there to do it with me. My memories remain though, and tht's enough for right now. My favorite pieces are three trunks we bought. Maddie has one on her room, as does Ashleigh. Mine is near the foot of my bed. I don't keep anything special in the trunk... but it still holds memories, and that is more than enough for me. So what makes you happy? I mean truly happy. Time I spend with my family, the views I see daily as I drive around my area, fishing with friends and hiking with my daughters are a few of the things that make me happy. A good steak and a hot cup of coffee are also high on my list. It's the little things in life that matter. Don't waste your life chasing big things. Oftentimes you'll find that the time spent to acquire them wasn't worth the final victory. At least for me that holds true. Moments in time. Memories. These are what bring true happiness.
Today has been a pretty good day. I ended up going to Keene with my grandmother and sister in search of wide shoes. My grandma's feet have been killing her lately, and her doctor finally decided that new shoes were definitely in order.
First off, we stopped at the wide shoe store. Regular malls and shoe stores don't carry a wide variety of wide shoes, so there's actually an outlet that specializes in wide and extra-wide shoes. However, it's located in Swanzey and it took us a good 45 minutes to get there. After ordering a pair of wide shoes and paying for a pair of slippers for my grandma, we had some extra time- so we went 5 minutes down the road into Keene, which is regarded by some as the "NYC" of New England. With great exaggeration. Keene is actually a very small town; but big for the area it is in. There are plenty of department stores to shop in, and we wound up going to Kohls. I needed a dress for Christmas mass anyway, and I actually ended up finding two really pretty ones that were (luckily) 50% off each. All in all, today has been a great day and I'm glad I was able to finish my homework early enough to go out. ~ Maddie Christmas is my favorite holiday. Santa gives me lots of gifts. We dress up for the holidays. We also bake cookies. My favorite are the gingerbread men.
Ashleigh
"For long you live and high you fly, And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry, And all you touch and all you see, Is all your life will ever be..."
Okay, time for a weird post. The quote above is, of course, from the song "Breathe" by Pink Floyd. Originally, I wanted to write a post about kindness tonight, but the last line of that quote kept coming into my head...And all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be". No matter what I started to think about, or what quote I read, that line just kept coming back to me. Finally, I saw a connection between the lyric and what I wanted to write about, and I thought I'd run with it. We all have inner pictures of ourselves. It's either how we want to see ourselves or what we think others see when they look at us. The two ARE mutually exclusive. What I want to see is a charming middle-aged guy who is trying his best to raise his daughters to be loving, caring people, with the ability to think for themselves.I want to see a man who likes to lead by example and does his best to do so. A man who thinks, and lives his life to the best of his abilities. A man who is in semi-decent shape, and doesn't really care what anyone thinks of him except for his daughters. Although I try not to care what other's think of me, occasionally I flirt with the idea that others may see me differently. Without taking the time to get to know me, it's more than likely that many see me as a middle-aged overweight guy who works a low-wage job that allows him to wear T-shirts and jeans and go for long periods without shaving. They likely see a man who still lives with his Mom, thinking that he couldn't hack it on his own so he moved back in with his parents. Since I work from home, many only get to see me with my girls on the weekend, so they likely think I am divorced and just get my kids on the weekend. I don't see myself that way, and I know that many of those assumptions are not true, and yet, when I am feeling down, I oftentimes feel that is the way that many people likely perceive me. "But all we touch and all we see, is all our lives will ever be." I no longer travel in wide circles. I am too busy, to start, and I also just don't care to anymore. I am content to leave my fingerprints on the souls of the few that I love. While I like to meet new people when I have the chance, I don't feel compelled to do so. I try to leave all the people I meet with a smile on their face... although it is not always possible. I do want my girls to see that there is more to life than working from home, karate and shopping though. I try to take them out when I can to go hiking or fishing, to the movies or a nice restaurant, or even the library. Museums and parks are always fun and this summer, I will be taking them on a cross-country train trip so that they can see some of the wonders of our country up close and personal. If all goes well, we will be doing trips like that more often. In the end, I care little what anyone thinks other than my daughters. I want to touch their hearts and help them to see the world for its good points. I am trying to help them to get started living lives that matter to them. I want what they see and touch to be important to them. And I want them to remember, so that the smiles I give and the tears I cry, and all that I touch, and all that I see, will help to make their lives a little bit more than my life will ever be. I read a new book today It is called ''My ''P'' Book''. Little ''P'' had a box that she filled with
poodles, puppies, pigs, piglets, peanuts, pie, popcorn, and pickles. She found a pony to pull the box. They ran into a panther. A policeman took the panther to a zoo. Ashleigh
I'm currently in the car on the way to karate. I know that lately my blog posts have been written when I'm out and about and have been more about my day than any other topic matter; but honestly... Blogs are whatever happens to be on my mind and usually my days are on my mind.
This obviously won't be posted until later, but right now it is 4:06 pm and it already looks like sunset. The sky is a dark grey, and the rain is falling just enough for the windshield wipers to be necessary. I haven't seen another car the whole time we've been out, and this road is considered to be a busy road. I think this is one of my favorite parts about living in New Hampshire- no matter what time it is, it is peaceful. Quiet. Serene. It's nice sometimes to drive down a road with thick forest on either side of it, with hills and curves winding around the mountain you happen to be driving up. It gives me an appreciation for where I live and how my life is. So often you'll hear of these horrible things in the world- war, bombings, death and crime... And when you go into cities, it's so fast-paced and crowded and quite the opposite of peaceful. I've only been to Boston ONCE when I was little and that was more than enough for me. The atmosphere isn't for me. When I get older, I plan to move further north into Franconia, and live there. It's beautiful there and very laid back, and I think it would be a positive place to live. On top of that, the beauty would still be there and I would still be close to family. I don't know. Those are my thoughts as of now. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. - Maddie
"Certain people will always be bored." That's a quote by Albert Einstein. And he is right. Some people, no matter what you are doing will always be bored. It doesn't matter whether you are climbing Mt. Everest Or watching a no-hitter in a World Series game live behind home plate. They will just look at their watch as if they are checking whether they can go home yet..
I find it hard to be friends with these people. I really have to work hard to be bored when I am around other people. First, I believe it is impolite to make people feel as if they are not worth your time. Everyone has something that is interesting about them. Thus, when I am with others I try to find out what that something is. Secondly, I like people to have a good time when I am around them. Whether they are working or are just enjoying some time with me, I like to try and make them laugh. That alone will usually keep me from getting bored. I think the problem with some people is that they really don't know what makes them happy. Sometimes, what they think makes them happy, actually makes them unhappy...but they don't realize it and instead blame everything else for their troubles. A couple of good examples of this are drinking and friendships. I will give you two examples. I have a friend from when I was younger who I have not seen in a long time. He has a drinking problem. He has been to AA yet he has given it up and went back to drinking. About three times a week he posts a picture of himself in one bar or another, always with a martini or a pint of beer in his hand looking depressed and/or shitfaced. The caption is usually something like "At Slaughtered Lamb trying to forget." or "Slumming it again on Fulton Street, but hey as long as they pay me I show up." Clearly this man is unhappy. Yet he doesn't equate his unhappiness with the way he is spending his off hours. Like a fool, I have twice sent him information on rehabs he could go to to get sober (In the past he has spoken to me about getting sober), yet each time I did, he got back to me and said he was just a drunk and that's it. Sad, really, but what are you going to do. You can't make them quit. They need to do it on their own. A second example has to do with a friend I had when I was younger. A number of us all used to hang out together. One thing I noticed though, was that the group was rarely all happy with one another. Over time, I noticed that the troubles usually revolved around one person. All people were involved with the strife at one time or another... but there was always one person who was stirring the pot and trying to set the others against each other. After realizing this, I tried to distance myself from this "friend", although since he still hung around with the group it didn't really work. Finally, once this guy was caught doing something the crowd disapproved of and was dropped as a friend by most in the group, did everyone stop going for each other's throats. It's sad really. This guy was once a good friend to everyone in the group, but it just got to the point that no one could actually be happy around him since he was causing so much dissension between the group. Sometimes, you just have to let go to keep your own happiness intact. It is good to be there for your friends when they have a problem. But if those problems are a constant, and they begin to become your problems or effect your mood. Then you need to know when to let them go. Friends should be there to support each other. But if it gets to a point where that person can't or won't take advice that will make the situation better, then it is time to step back and distance yourself from the situation until their situation changes and no longer impacts your own happiness or moods. Drinking and friendships are two things that can keep you from being happy. They can also MAKE you reach a point where you are the one that always seems bored, and can't spend a moment with your friends or family without seeming bored with their presence. Remember, if someone has taken the time to be with you...and you accepted that time, then try not to seem bored that you are around them. Give them the attention you would want in the same situation. That is the best way to never seem like one of those people who are either always bored or are instead boring to be around for others. Everyone has bad days. EVERYONE. And I know when I'm having a bad day, I like things that can make me smile or remind me that everything is going to be okay... so this post is dedicated to anyone having a bad day. Here are some reminders.
This being said- I hope you have or are having a great day today. Keep smiling. ~ Maddie
Neema is my grandmother, and I love her very much. She is 77 years old. Neema plays
games with me, rests with me, and watches movies with me. She helps to teach me math and reads to me too. She likes to color with me also! Ashleigh Normally, I don't write poetry for this blog... I'd write it for my other blog. However, my school schedule has kept me busy lately and I haven't had much time for my poetry; sadly. I love writing it, but I'd rather share it with an audience and not just on a blog that has died as posting slowed to nothing. So, without further ado- here is my latest poem.
You say I've been different lately Well I wonder why You drop all your problems on me And then don't even try You won't listen to my advice But you'll still ask me for it I'll shield you from discomfort But you just let me get hit You can't deal with all your issues You messed your life up bad To watch you slowly dying Is making me quite sad There's nothing more that I can do You know that I have tried I've cleaned up all your messes, Mopped up all the tears you cried I can't keep on upholding I can't destroy myself for you I'd fix it if I could This you know is true But now you must walk on your own for awhile Because I need To learn to smile. "When deeds speak, words are nothing." That is a quote from Pierre-Joseph Proudhon. Proudhon is best known as the first anarchist, although what he meant by anarchist. leaned a lot closer to communism than most people would guess! When I think of anarchy, I think of a very limited government. What Proudhon meant was no real private property, and worker/peasant possession over private property. A communist by any other name is still a communist!
Still, the man had the right idea with the quote above at least. Deeds do speak louder than words. Our politicians would do well to take note of that. All of them just talk and talk and talk about how they are for the little man, and then everything they do favors the large corporations. Think about O'Bama care, for instance. Who benefits from having everyone in the country needing to have medical insurance? Surely not those who have seen their costs rise as these others are added into the system. Surely not those who have lost their jobs since it was enacted because they were too expensive to keep on. And certainly not those who now have to struggle to make their health insurance payments, when they used to just pay as they went. No, the people who benefited from THAT boondoggle were the insurance companies, who now have a captive customer and the politicians who have seen their reach into their constituents' pockets go even deeper. At a personal level, deeds do say more than words. Personal charity can go a long way towards making life easier for someone you know. Many nonprofits advertise voraciously that they are trying to help the poor or the sick. Yet many of them spend less than $0.50 of every dollar they bring in on things other than helping the poor. In fact, some of these charitable organizations spend millions to keep their top management employed. The best run organizations for helping the poor are run by volunteers, in my opinion. If you want me to volunteer my time and money to your cause, then you better be volunteering your time and money as well. If not, then I can't help you. Some people talk a good talk, but then don't do the walk. Ever have someone say they will always be there for you... and then walk away when you really needed the help? I see that happen all of the time. And yet, the people that they have betrayed never even seem to realize that they didn't do what they said. Life is crazy that way! For me, I care little what a man has to say. It doesn't impress me. If he follows through on what he says, then I am impressed. In the end, I guess I am saying: (Don't talk the talk, if you won't walk the walk." I read a new book today. It is called '' My ''O'' Book''. A little boy named Little'' O'' had
a box. He looked for things to put into it. He found otters and an octopus. When he put an ostrich into the box it was too heavy for him to carry So he got an ox to bring it back to his house. Ashleigh
Okay, I was looking for a single quote to write about tonight, and I somehow ended up on a page of movie quotes. I like movie quotes. People believe that the characters are saying something really deep and they wish that they would have something similar said to them... And it never happens, unless it is a set up. And when it happens, people know it is ultimately bull shit, but they fall for it anyway... Because the actor they saw it happen to had already showed them the way!
It's crazy how so much of what passes as emotions nowadays are just acted out because you saw a similar scene in a movie. A couple of times, my wife would say something to me, and it would sound so contrived, that I would break into a big smile. She would then ask me what I was smiling about and I would tell her that what she just said reminded me of a movie I once saw and I would describe the scene. Usually, she would get mad at me for ruining "the mood" she was trying to set. That made me smile harder, because I never felt a need to set a mood! Anyway, below are some quotes that I would love to pull off in real life some day. Not to set a mood per se, but just to see if I could actually say them with a straight face and see what kind of reaction I would get. Try these on with some of your friends. Don't tell them what you are doing either. Just watch their faces. Some will think your nuts... others will think you are amazing! Either way, the reactions should be funny! If you do use one, please let me know the results. Definitely worth sharing the results folks. "There is something I have been meaning to tell you. I'm sorry, I can't find the right words." "What we do in life, echoes in eternity." "Choosing not to believe in the devil, will not protect you from him." "Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch." "You know what really sucks? Realizing that everything you believed in was complete and utter bullshit!" "I was very well educated to be an idiot." "Memory is a wonderful thing, if you don't have to deal with the past." "So, we can get on with what we are really supposed to be doing with our lives?" "I just sort of feel like I am on drugs when I am with you...Not that I do drugs...unless you do drugs, in which case, I do drugs all the time!" "I tried to flirt...it worked better than I thought it would." "She was an angel that fell from heaven...(whispering) so was Lucifer." In hindsight, some of these quotes WOULD likely be good to pull apart in a blog post. The fact that they come from the movies kind of take away some of the seriousness though. It would be too much like trying to analyze "I'll be back" or "Do you feel lucky, punk?" Thus, there they are. Have fun with them! I like to draw. I draw something almost every day. Sometimes I just draw smiley faces.
Othertimes I draw flowers or animals. I like to use different colors when I draw. It makes my pictures look nicer. Ashleigh I am rather upset with my generation right now... And for good reason. I've been thinking a lot tonight, and it's been starting to annoy me that everything a person does goes up on Facebook.
Out with the boyfriend of the week? I'm sure everyone wants to know. Your food wasn't up to your high standards at a cheap fast food place? Your family and friends probably love seeing your dumb complaints all over their timeline. Or god forbid political standpoint posts. God, those are the worst. Everyone thinks their opinion is best and if you don't agree... F*ck you, you don't deserve to be on my friends list OR the Internet. It's getting ridiculous. Recently, I've been seeing a lot of relationship posts online. Don't get me wrong; when I get in a relationship I'll make the occasional post about it too. BUT THIS IS INCESSANT. It's horrible. Every. Moment. Of these people's romantic lives are online for the world to see and quite frankly it disgusts me. One of my friends (who won't be named here) is constantly posting photos of her and her boyfriend sucking face. Okay. I get this. Maybe one kissing picture, two if NECESSARY. But not. NOT. One for every single moment of each and every kiss and make out session. Then followed by overly sensual comments that I'm sure your parents have no idea you're making, and to a guy who's 17 or 18 no less. Honestly, these are the people who are likely going to be looking at unemployment or very low paying jobs in the future... If any kind of big corporation were to go through your profile and see THAT? They probably wouldn't even consider you. That's one of the biggest shows of immaturity ever, at least in my opinion. And it really makes me feel like my generation is being poorly represented by idiots like this. What brought this post on, you may ask? If you have to know, I was sitting in McDonalds with my dad earlier eating breakfast (our power and Internet went out and we needed to work) and I heard an old woman talking about modesty and how insolent and "provocative" m generation is. At first, I was a bit insulted. The people I choose to be friends with are often VERY modest, VERY respectful and quite smart, really. To hear this bothered me and caused me to think some quite... Harsh, to say the least; thoughts towards the old woman and her crass opinion. However, a glance at my timeline later reminded me that not all people my age are intelligent. Or modest. Or respectful, for that matter. You're shaming your generation, guys. You're letting us down. And worst of all, you're letting yourself down. Step it up. ~Maddie "The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." That's a quote by Plutarch. It's a pity that people didn't pay attention to this quote. So many people think that learning is filling your head with facts. To me, facts are only useful if you know what to do with them.
The best educators teach you how to think, not what to think. They teach you to question everything...not just take their word for it. I always find multiple choice questions a waste of time. They don't test what you know, they test what you remember. Knowing and remembering are two different things. To know a subject, you need to see the why of the matter. For instance, If someone says Bill died in a car accident, you may feel bad for Bill. What a shame! Now, how do you feel if someone told you that Bill died in a car accident. He was driving drunk and crashed into a family of four head on and killed the lot of them. You might feel a little less sorry for Bill then... and more sorry for the family he killed. The why of the matter made all of the difference didn't it. I home school my daughters. Right now, I am teaching my youngest daughter to read and do arithmetic. Still, I have already started teaching her how to think though. I ask her open ended questions about the stories we read and movies we watch. I don't always expect her to have the correct answers. I do expect her to at least try to give some type of an answer. And she usually does. On our way to karate, I will often ask her what she sees. Sometimes I will go further and after she tells me what she sees, I will ask her if she saw something specific that she didn't mention. Oftentimes she says yes that she saw it. I will then ask her why she didn't say it then. This will make her stop and think. And then she will give me an answer. The exercise helps me to teach her to look at the details. It also teaches her to ask questions too. With my older daughter, I ask more detailed questions. Usually about her school work, but sometimes about our surroundings, or the people we see. All of the questions I ask her are open-ended also. Maddie is used to the game and she is a bit more observant at this point. Her leaps of logic are also astounding sometimes. I want both of my daughters to be able to think for themselves. Not just to be told what to believe or led to believe what they hear on the TV. Question everything is my motto. Follow the money, or look for the underlying reason for everything. Sometimes the reason why something occurs... either in nature or in a social setting is easy to see. Oftentimes they are not. Over time I want my daughters to know to look for the why in everything. If they can see the why, it will keep them out of trouble. Why? will kindle the fire of your intellect. After the fire is lit, How? can help to fan the flames of logic. It is not enough to know the why of the matter (sometimes it is), true understanding comes from learning the how too. To me, Why? and How? are the two best ways to put your mind to use and to use it effectively. Today I read a book called "My ''N''Book". Little ''N'' had a box. She filled her box with
nests, eggs, nuts and nightingales. She also found nickels .She used the nickels to buy a nightgown, a nutcracker, and neckties for her Dad. She then took a nap. Ashleigh I love this quote. It's quite relevant to me and I find it to be a wonderful metaphor. For those of you who are lazy and don't want to read a full post; just wanting the simplified version of the quote- the best things are created from the worst; and something beautiful can come from something ugly. Situationally, this quote speaks on a deep level to me.
The situation I relate back to this quote is my mother's death. Most of you frequent readers have probably already read about how my mom died, when, and all the little specific details that can be picked from in-between posts. To sum it up; my mom was a beautiful person with a horrible and uncontrollable disease. This disease was alcoholism, combined with bulimia, combined with anorexia, combined with hoarding, combined with anger and depression, COMBINED with a lot of other issues that composed her demon. Outside of this... she was a beautiful woman, a loving wife, a caring mother, a teacher, a friend, and a supporter to all she met. Her passing at such an early age was quite tragic. It was expected, yet unexpected... everyone had a false hope that she would live, recover, and be able to rejoin the family... and looking at the situation as an outsider, you would wonder how anyone could ever find the silver lining in that mess. I've talked to my friends about the situation before, and they've all given me horrified looks when I said that at the rate things were going, my mom's passing was likely for the better. What they don't know is the severity of the condition. How much pain my mom was in, even before her two week stay in the ICU. There was no real chance for her to get better... she kept continuously abusing alcohol and no amount of therapy was working for her. We found out far too late that she had APD, or Addictive Personality Disorder. This was an entirely different issue aside from the drinking that would attack her when she tried to quite alcohol. It made her unhealthy and increased her struggle. On her deathbed, she would have required major surgery, months of physical therapy, and would have been wheel-chair bound her entire life if she had recovered. That is not a life. That is breathing death. Even after that, she would have needed counseling and many years of therapy to reduce her addictions and heal her... and in that time, she would likely not be around me and my sister much. We were almost bankrupt at that point as it was; and paying her medical bills would have been near impossible... even though we would have given every last cent to keep her alive. At the end of it all... she was wasting away. She passed away in a medically induced coma after her life support was removed. And she was put out of her misery. Now, I can only hope that she is safe somewhere in spirit form where I can see her again; out of pain and misery. Hopefully, she can see everyone from where she is- watch my sister and I grow up, watch over her family and friends, and see my dad. She no longer struggles here. Her fight and her pain are all gone now. And that? That is silver lining enough for me. ~Maddie |
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