What is love? Everybody talks of it, but I believe only about a third of the population actually knows what it is. "Love is the beauty of the soul" seems to me to be a great definition. Many people base their idea of love on looks. While everyone can like someone for their looks, it isn't enough to base love on. Looks fade in time, for everyone (Except it seems for Christine Brinkley. She is now 61 and I saw a picture of her the other day in a bikini and I gotta tell you she is still one hot looking babe!). Everyone knows this is true, yet half the population seems to base who they date on their looks. I sometimes go on to Zoosk.com to check out the single women to see if there is anyone there that lives close by that I would like to date. Three things stand out to me. 1. There is a large number of women who say they won't respond to an email if they don't find you physically attractive. When I see this, I run for the hills. Not because I don't think I am attractive... for a fifty year old guy, I am ok. But because anyone who would outright say that in their paragraph that is supposed to be about themselves is just way too shallow for me. The second and third things I noticed are kind of related to each other too. I found that nearly every lady that has more than one picture of herself up, has at least one shot that I call the money shot. The money shot is the picture of the woman showing off her cleavage. When I am in the supermarket or the mall, I will occasionally see a woman with a lot of cleavage showing. Meanwhile, on Zoosk, nearly every woman has a shot where she is showing cleavage. It's almost as if they believe no one will message them if they don't show a little skin. The final thing that I noticed, and it ties in to the second thing a little bit, is that oftentimes the ones that are very attractive to look at, won't write anything about themselves on their post. I wonder if they are happy with the quality of men who contact them? I like to know something about the woman I date. You know, something about what they think or maybe what they like to do in their spare time... or if they even have spare time. Yet many of them write absolutely nothing! What kind of man are they trying to attract? I have no clue. And personally, I really don't care enough to find out. When I was young, I grew up on the Jersey shore, and there were a lot of pretty women walking around. And although I would hit on some of them, the girls I actually asked out on dates were the ones that I actually got to know a little bit. Looks just weren't enough for me then, and its really not enough for me now. My wife was very beautiful. We started dating when she was 23 and I was 33. Prior to dating, we had known each other a few months at Merrill Lynch. It wasn't until she read me some of her poetry that I truly fell head over heels in love with her though. Here is a picture of my wife and I on our wedding day. To me, she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Not because of how she looked, but because of her soul. When she recited her poetry to me, she opened up and shared a part of her soul with me. It washed over me and bathed me in her inner beauty. It is the beauty of her soul that I fell in love with that day. Any other form of love just won't work. Looks fade over time...conversation gets old...but the attachment to another's soul is something that just won't fade. Familial love is like that too. Your children have a piece of two souls. Their individual souls also carry a piece of each parents' as well. When that parent child love isn't there, it's a sign that maybe the love just wasn't really there for the parents to begin with. There are many reasons to get married. Some marry for money, some marry out of a sense of obligation. Others marry for convenience. There are numerous reasons to get married. And numerous reasons why some people will stay together for a lifetime even if that true soul-touching love isn't there. On the flip side, sometimes marriages break up...even if the couple truly has that soul deep love. They never stop loving each other. They just have to stop living together. The connection is still there. It just needs to be put to the side for whatever reason. If there is any advice I could give my daughters here, it is to wait for your soul mate. Don't fool yourself into love. Don't feel that you have to settle. The man that you fall in love with may not be the boy next door. He may not even live in the same state as you. My wife was originally from England. Surprisingly, many of my friends have married girls from foreign countries as well. Two hearts will find a way. Be open to what your heart tells you. And remember, looks fade! Don't settle for someone who just likes you for your looks. Don't settle just because YOU like someone's looks either. Wait for that spark before you say I do. Surround yourself with people who have the habits and lifestyle that you want for yourself. If you surround yourself with people who bring strife into your life, then it's likely that is what you are going to eventually settle with. Surround yourself with like souls, and there is a better chance that you will find a soulmate.
0 Comments
I am currently sitting in a Texas Roadhouse steakhouse, and I'm bored... So I figured, why not write a blog post! We have a 25 minute wait before we get seats, since apparently everyone went out to Christmas shop and get a nice dinner after today.
We spent most of the day at the Mall at Whitney Field, doing out Christmas shopping. I've been quite reclusive about gifts this year, and my dad needed ideas for me. So; I dragged him through Sears, Burlington Coat Factory, Spencer's and Hot Topic. I ended up running into two of my friends unexpectedly, and I walked around with my best friend for a majority of the day. We had a good time trying on clothes together and giving each other style advice. At the end of the day, she found me an awesome pair of shoes and I found her a dress that looked stunning on her. Now... I don't know what to write. I had a great day out with my family, though. It's rare we get to go out and spend quality time together; and today was a day we could. It was fun and hopefully the soon-coming meal will finish it nicely. Peace out. - Maddie I love this quote because it really puts everything into perspective. Life is just a large series of chances, opportunities and options, when it comes down to it. And the different outcomes all depend on our choices... no matter how insignificant they may seem. What you eat today will affect you tomorrow, and will affect the choices you have left for tomorrow. Even something so tiny can make a change...so have you ever stopped to think about the larger choices you make, and the effect they may have on you? Or those around you?
I do sometimes. I like to stop and think about what I'm doing. Why I'm doing it. I overthink at times, and it's a bad habit... but at the same time a good one. While overthinking can sometimes stress me out; it can also come in handy. A choice I had today was homework related. I am going to be hanging out with a friend later, and so I needed to get homework done. However, I was quite tired this morning and didn't really feel like working. I had to choose between doing homework and being able to go have fun with my friend and have a good time, or not doing my homework and staying home and missing a potentially awesome time. The choice was pretty clear... but laziness was getting in the way. Now, I'm finished with my homework. I found a lot of motivation in music (and my friend) and sped through quizzes while getting good grades. Now, it's time to see what the rest of my day holds... So good bye for now, internet. ~Maddie I love my Daddy! Daddy is a good helping hand. He fixes my toy's and he fixes things I accidentally break.He also likes to play with me. We play Wizard 101 a lot and he reads books to me. He takes me to the park and movies too. Finally, he also teaches me how to read and do math.
Ashleigh "A man is not old until regrets takes the place of dreams." That's a quote by John Barrymore. Barrymore was a famous actor way back in the day. He died in 1942, so I mean WAY back. The name Barrymore is still a household name though, due to Drew Barrymore, his granddaughter...or great grand daughter, I don't know which really.
Although I rarely quote actors for the blog, unless I am just joking around of course and use a Clint Eastwood quote or a Rodney Dangerfield quote, I liked this quote for its simplicity and truth. Once you stop dreaming, you are essentially dead. It sucks to live in the past. While I do have a regret or two that I have written about in the past, I use those regrets to make sure that I live the life I have fully right now. I try not to dwell on my regrets, but instead use them as a reminder as to how I can live better and more fully right now. When you have given up trying to move forward, then you are just waiting to die. I hope I will never say "I am too old to learn something new.". I also never want to say I can't. True, sometimes there will be things that I won't be able to do. That doesn't mean that I plan not to try to do those things. Instead, I want to be the type of old person who looks for new ways to do the things I want to do... not just put them to the side to never look at again. I think too many people make themselves old and frail before their time. Sure we all get more aches and pains ad we get older, and yes, we all lose some of our former quickness. So what! Really, I plan to keep doing what I want to do right up until the day I die. At some point, I may not be bale to do what I want totally. And that's ok. I still want to want to try when I reach that point. Whether I am successful or not! I guess you can say I will regret the day when I no longer want to follow my dreams! "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Okay, I hope my headline fooled you into thinking I was going to quote Frank Sinatra. Nope, this is a quote that I can't quite place. I like it though, and I thought it was worth a word or two.
I have had some regrets in my day... a little of each of them. And I must say that the first type of regret does evaporate over time. Meanwhile, the second type can be tricky. Sometimes you get a second chance to do them. Sometimes you don't. For most things, that's okay. But not for all things. For instance, never not tell someone you love that you love them. No matter how mad you may be at them at the time, or how much in a rush you are, make sure to take a moment and tell them that you love them. You never know when someone you love is going to die. We all have this thought in our heads that we will see everybody tomorrow. That is not always the case. Sometimes, the next time you see them, they may be in a coma. Or even dead. It's a little late to tell them how much you love them then. In fact, because this happened to me, I can tell you that it feels a little hollow. You wonder if they know you are there in the first place, let alone that they have heard what you had to say. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU. I can tell you, this really sucks. And it will stick with you for years. If you love someone, make sure you tell them that. Not just once in a blue moon, but every time you see them. It doesn't have to be in an overly dramatic or mushy way... Just a quick "I love you babe, as you give them a kiss good bye. For one day, it really will be your final good bye, Think about it. Make it a habit. And mean it. This is one regret you can definitely prevent. Not everyone warrants a last goodbye. But if you truly love the person, then you definitely need to make sure that you have said your final goodbye. Not only will it help them be at peace with you, but it will help you to be at peace with yourself! A wise man learns from other people's mistakes and doesn't have to experience the same circumstance to learn from it. This is one lesson that I truly wish I learned from somebody else. Be wise, learn this lesson from me. Tell the people you love that you love them every time you see them. Not only will this help you and them feel good while you and they are alive, it will make sure that you will always feel okay no matter what happens. Learn this lesson NOW! Do not wait to learn it through your own experience! I regret that I had to learn this lesson first hand. Never again! I read a new book today.The name of the book was My ''M'' Book. Little ''M'' found monkeys
and mice The monkeys did not like the mice, though, and ran away. Little'' M'' and the mice followed the monkeys and saw them fall in the mud. They helped the monkeys out of the mud. Eventually they all went to the moon with a magician. Ashleigh My dad is always telling me that this blog is something special. That it's something both myself and my sister can look back on when we get older to see what we were thinking; etc. etc. and also to be able to see what Dad himself was thinking.
I have decided to leave my future self some tips, along with my current favorite quotes. Tips - forgive and move on. just never forget the lesson whatever you're forgiving taught you. - people lie and cheat. be careful who you trust. - at the end of the day, you only have yourself. - you have a choice every day to be positive or negative. - honesty is the best policy. - don't waste time obsessing over people who don't think twice about you. - your biggest enemy is yourself. - however, you are also your own best support. - don't be afraid to be yourself, even if that means standing out. - speak up for those you love. - let your haters be your motivators. - "can't" is just "can" with a t. - words have power. - live without regrets. - cherish memories. - live, love, laugh. - share happiness with others. - treat others how you wish to be treated. - but also treat others how they treat you. - remember who is always there for you. - respect those who respect you. - age is just a number. - have the courage to move on. - remember that you are loved and cared for. - express yourself in any way. - be logical. - peace over power. A few good quotes~ "When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen." "We are held back only by the walls we build for ourselves." "Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” "You can love someone so much- but you can never love a person as much as you can miss them." "Never regret something that once made you happy; because at the time- it was exactly what you wanted." "Never let your happiness depend on something you may lose." ~Maddie "Be as you wish to seem." is another great quote by Socrates. I find it amazing that this guy lived about two thousand years ago and yet we are still quoting him today. I always wish that I could say something so profound that people would be quoting me the next day, let alone a couple thousand years from now. Still, I look back and I think that they killed Socrates because of his opinions, so I think their is something to be said about showing some restraint, no matter how profound a statement you can make.
Be as you wish to seem is great advice though. Many people fail to act as they want to be because they don't see themselves in that light. What a shame that is, because we can all be what and how we want to be. All we have to do is know how we want to be, and then act that way. If you want to be known as a wise person, then you need to act wisely. Find the things in life that you know and distill that knowledge down to its essence. When speaking on that subject, speak with authority, because if you know the essence of a thing, then you ARE an authority. Over time, branch out and extend your knowledge to different areas. One doesn't need to know nuclear physics to be considered wise. One just needs to be bale to give sound advice about what they do know. If you don't know a subject well, then don't give advice. Instead, suggest either a person who knows the topic better so that the person asking the question knows who to turn to, or suggest a place where the person could find more information to help them. A fool pretends to know everything and gives advice without knowledge. A wise man keeps his own counsel, learns new things constantly and only gives advice when asked on subjects that he knows well. Remember, be as you wish to seem. If you want to be known as wise, then you need to act wise. On the flip side, you can use this approach to be anything you want to be. If you want to be attractive to the opposite sex, then find out what the opposite sex really finds attractive. I don't mean looks wise either. I mean find out what traits people look for when they are looking for a mate, and then act as if you are already all of those things. Not to fool them...but to make yourself believe that you already have those traits. Some of those traits might be: Be well groomed; Be honest; Be well spoken: Be well read: Have a sense of humor that is witty, and not too crude; Have a nice smile. Those are just a couple of things that I could think of off of the top of my head. It is not hard to actually be any, or all of those things. You just have to put your mind to it, and then become those things. You don't have to become all those things over night. You just need to work at them a little each day...until you become who you think you can be in your mind's eye. If you gradually make the changes, no one will even know you are changing at all. They will one day only remember you as always being that way. Be as you wish to seem...It's great advice, and it works! Today I read a new book called My ''I'' book. I liked the book a lot. The book is about a
little girl called Little ''I''. She found inchworms and iguanas, but they ran away. She found an igloo, but it melted into water. She then met an Indian. The Indian gave her an Indian outfit, which she then put on. Ashleigh Nothing can describe how much I love this quote. It's direct and right to the point, and very true. I'd like to break it down into sections really quickly.
Time is free, but priceless. Time is everyone's to own, and yes- it is free. We can do whatever we'd like with the time we're given and we need to make the correct choices with our time. Time IS priceless. More of it can't be bought, and everyone has only a set amount of it starting when they are brought into this world. Spend your time wisely. You can't own it, but you can use it. Time cannot truly be owned. Yes, we all have a set amount of time- but we aren't sure of how much of it we're given and it can be stolen from us so quickly. In our amazingly short lives, all we can do is use the time we're "given"- but don't own in the first place. Don't confuse this quote; however- any time you are given IS YOUR OWN, not anyone else's. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Oh, how true. I'm sure most of us wish we had saved time spent foolishly when we look back on the situation at a later point in life. However, time waits for no one and moves forward always, so it is impossible to keep it for our own. We can only choose HOW we spend our time. Spend it wisely, because at this rate it should be established that you CANNOT get it back. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back. Tying right in with what I just said... time is invaluable because it only happens once. It can't be regained. I personally wish time could be regained... because knowing the outcome of some stuff that has happened would make me change my actions. But time can't be changed. It can't be fixed. It's neverending and never-stopping. So... All this being said... You are only given a set amount of time to live. Waste it foolishly. ~Maddie This post began as a poem, the one I have below. I wrote it due to an issue I had with one of my friends- many hurtful accusations got tossed around in our argument, and it hurt. I don't want this post to be bitchy, hurtful, or more insults to that person. In my opinion, our fight was pointless and could have been avoided easily. The reason why this post is entitled "fake friends" is because that is sort of what this person is.
As stated below- they aren't ever there for me; even though I find myself dropping everything to help them. They make no efforts to make plans. They don't respond to calls or texts. They choose to hit you when you're down. And it sucks. Unfortunately, I'm the person who gives too many second chances and so when I meet a friend like this, I tend to let them bring me down and I don't realize how bad things are until they reach a critical point. At that critical point; should it ever be reached... you have to make a choice. You can either continue the toxic friendship; and probably wind up getting hurt more and used more... or you can discard it and get on with your life. That is the choice I need to make now... wish me luck in making the correct one. The moral of this strange post; I believe... is to be a good friend. Not to discard friendships, and not to argue, but to be a good and helpful friend... as long as the other person does the same. Friendship is a two-way street. ~Maddie When you're always there for them, but they aren't for you When you want to chill, but they have better things to do You want to tell them every single thing, But they pick up for everyone but you when their cellphone rings When you pick them right up should they ever fall down, But they trod all over you when you're lying on the ground When you would rather die than watch them cry, But when you get down they never try They don't understand, they don't lend a hand They just fade away, like footprints in sand They take you and use you, They hurt and abuse you And yet you still stay In the hopes that one day... maybe, they'll change. All great achievements require time. That is a quote by the poet Maya Angelou. Believe it or not, my first exposure to Maya's work was in the subways of New York. The subway used to put little ads up that quoted her work. The ads weren't promoting anything...it was just her poetry. I would sit as the train moved from station to station and read her work. I always though "What soft, kind words for a hard world." Her words were peaceful and thought provoking.
The quote above is also thought provoking. Time is the hidden factor is most things. It is hidden because it is so obviously there. Think about the last second jump shot that wins a game. Some people just see the arc of the shot, the swish of the net, and the joy as the shooter is carried off the floor in victory. But there is so much more to that story. The hours of practice it took for that person to be out on the floor at that moment in the first place. The hundreds, no thousands of previous shots it took for that person to be good enough at his craft to be out on the floor in a championship game. To not only be out on the floor but tio be the person relied upon to take that final shot. We've all seen movies like The Bad News Bears where Timmy Lupus ends up being the hero because he closes his eyes and somehow catches the ball that otherwise would have fallen as a grand slam home run that would have won the game for the other side. And we all know that that scene is complete bullshit. In reality the Timmy Lupus' of the world are booger-eating morons (that is a line from the movie by the way, so don't take it as me judging the character harshly), and there is no way that ANY self-respecting coach would have him out in the field during the final inning of a close game. I have coached in leagues where are children have to play at least a quarter in each game (basketball). The good coaches make sure to use all of their less talented players prior to the fourth quarter. Particularly in a close game. That way they can have all of their best players available for the final quarter of the game and be in a better position to win. Time, I find, is the difference between success and failure about 90% of the time. The person who practices more, or has more experience doing something, is more often the person who will be successful. You might ask, "Well what about the person who discovers something totally new?" Even then, I would say the person with more experience wins out. Think about Thomas Edison and the light bulb. Thomas Edison did not discover the light bulb! He discovered the proper materials which needed to be used to make the bulb last longer. The idea of a "light bulb" had been around at least since the lantern. Edison was attempting to find a filament that would allow electricity to be used to serve as the energy for the light instead of fire. He succeeded, eventually. But he had many failed experiments before he found success. I think you see where I am headed with this. If you love something, give it time. If you love karate, practice. If you love to write, then write something daily. But most importantly, if you love your wife or children, then spend time with them. The greatest achievement any of us can have is to be surrounded by the ones we love. Yet so many of us go through life lonely, or looking to distract ourselves by doing things that take us away from the ones we love. Television, drinking, drugs, watching sports on TV, gambling... none of these things lead to our own achievement. Yet many people spend most of their spare time pursuing those endeavors. It's sad really, how wasting our time can lead to a life with no achievement. To be great, you need to use your time wisely. And I use the word "great" loosely here. What is important to you? It can be a who or a what. Whatever it is, you need to spend time to achieve the "greatness" you seek. My goal is to be as great a father as I can for my daughters. To do that, it takes time. Time to play with them, to teach them, to talk to them and to just allow them to know that I am always there for them. I work from home. I home school them. I train at the dojo with them, and I explore the world with them. Make time for what and who you love. THAT is the greatest achievement that anyone can ever have, in my opinion. I like my jump ropes.I have two of them I am not allowed to use them in the house. I like
to use them on the driveway. The jump ropes are nice to play with. Ashleigh |
Archives
September 2021
Categories
All
|