"Goodness is the only investment that never fails." That's a quote by Henry David Thoreau. I am always a little leery of a person that uses three names. It always rubs me the wrong way. I can't think of any reason why this would be. Other than John Wayne Gacy, I can't think of anyone in particular who was evil and used three names. Well, maybe Hillary Rodham Clinton might fit in that category too. At any rate, I don't really have anything bad to say about old Henry so I might as well get back to the quote.
I can see how it would be easy to think that being good would lead to good results, but this is not always the case. The problem is, that not everybody defines good in the same way. Also, sometimes good won't work... Take addiction, for instance. Addictions are very hard to beat, and although you may think you are doing good you could be doing the opposite without realizing it. My wife had addictive personality disorder. This was just a way of saying that she had many addictions going on simultaneously. While we were married, I only really knew of two of them... while some of the others were there, I just thought they were really odd behavior tied to the two or three things I knew about. The ones I knew about, I naturally tried to help her fight. I would sweep the house for bottles of booze, keep her away from social situations that would trigger bouts of drinking, and try not to say things that would trigger excessive dieting (she was an alcoholic and also fought anorexia). It ends up, the psychologists called me an enabler since I didn't kick her out of the house and tell her that her behavior was unacceptable. Well, for the last three years of her life, Sharon was not in our house. She lived on her own and she only had supervised visits with the children. Listening to the psychologists, you would think that Sharon would have gotten better. "She needed to hit bottom" a number of them said. One went so far as to say that she would not see Sharon anymore since she was not following her instructions. This little end came once Sharon fell off the wagon and had gotten drunk one night. Given Sharon's inability to stop drinking was the key reason we were seeing her, I found this social worker's reason for abandoning working with Sharon pathetic. The one positive thing I will say about working with that particular social worker was, she was the only one to ever diagnose Sharon accurately in my opinion. She is the one that diagnosed her with addictive personality disorder. Up until that point, we thought we were only fighting alcoholism and anorexia/binge eating. So what was really good and what was bad? In this instance I don't really know. I divorced Sharon to protect the girls, since her behavior was getting too erratic and really was dangerous for the baby. The psychologists said I needed to show her there was repercussions for her drinking. Three years after we first separated, Sharon drank herself to death. In those three years she was on her own, she never hit a bottom that couldn't fall deeper. After living through it all, I can say that Sharon needed more help than I could give her... or anyone for that matter. The doctors could not help her, I could not help her, the in-patient and out-patient programs could not help her. She needed to help herself. I feel bad that the last three years of her life was spent without me and her daughters by her side throughout it. To this day, my heart is with Sharon. She was my wife and I loved her deeply. She could not be around our children regularly, because of her drinking... And that hurt her tremendously. It hurt me too, and the girls. Ashleigh was never raised by Sharon. I brought her home from the hospital when she was four days old, and I raised her on my own. Ashleigh still remembers her Mom, but more as a friend who played with her. She was three when Sharon died. Maddie was eleven. The anniversary of Sharon's death comes up in four days. This time always makes me look back and think could I have done anything different that would have helped Sharon. My answer is no. I loved her with all of my heart. I tried to do what I thought was best. Later, I tried to do what the doctors said, even though I did not think it was best. Sometimes, the good can be the bad and the ugly as well. In the end, do what you believe is good, but like anything else, know that sometimes being good isn't going to be enough.
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I like playing with my sister. When she is talking to her friends i come in the room. One night i was playing hide-and-go-seek with her I looked every where But! I did not look in Daddy's bath room I said i know you are in there. She came out. She said'' that is not the way you play hide-and-go-seek''. I said I know. But, I still had fun.
Ashleigh Well, we are back from our vacation and had a wonderful time. Over the next few days, we will have the blog back up to full speed again. Carrying a camera with you all the time really lets you see what you have been missing each day! I do not mean that my life is lacking when I am not on vacation. No, I mean that sometimes we need to slow down in life and actually take pictures of what we see every day. What is ordinary to one person may just be the little bit of extraordinary that someone else needs in their life. I think that as I go through my day I am going to start to take more pictures of what to me is ordinary and share them to you. Over the past two weeks we have received more visitors to this site than in any other week. While I like to think that what we write is interesting, I think many people may just be looking around for interesting things to see. If you live in San Francisco or the Rockies, then our pictures likely weren't that special to you. Meanwhile, if you live elsewhere, you may have found them very interesting. I am more of a reader than a sightseer though. When I look at web sites, I am usually looking for something interesting to read. I hop you are too. With that said, I do find pictures can help to make what you are saying more interesting. Thus I will try to incorporate more pictures into my posts going forward. That does not mean I will be cutting back on my writing. Instead, I will try to add a picture here and there to illustrate my points. Although people say that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." This old dog is going to try and learn some new tricks over the net couple of weeks. Let me know what you think after a few weeks! To that end, Here are two pictures. The first shows what I will be doing for the next few minutes, while the second is the view from my front door. Enjoy! That final pick is of a sunset on Contoocook Lake taken by Maddie back in February. Every day should have some beauty in it. There is some for you, if you are having a tough day!
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” That is a quote by Annie Dillard. Dillard is an American author who won a Pulitzer prize in 1975 for general nonfiction. I like her quote because it is short, to the point, and on target.
How we spend our days is ultimately how we spend our lives. The quote makes me stop and think about how I am spending my day. Too much of my day is spent working for others. Not enough is spent on what is truly important... teaching my daughters, exploring the world and generally keeping the people I care about happy. Although everyone has to work to survive, I am painfully aware of the time I spend working for others, likely because I once spent over a decade working for myself. When you work for yourself, the hours you spend are actually bringing you all of the benefits of that work. When you are working for someone else, they are deriving all of the extra benefit from your work above and beyond whatever they are giving you to do the work in the first place. So how do you want to spend your life? And how close are you to living your life in the way you want? After reading the above quote, I asked myself that question. I want to spend my life enjoying my daughters' company, hiking the Appalachian trail, practicing karate and learning. Short bouts of reading, sleeping, and watching the occasional movie would also be nice. So how am I doing? I spend a lot of my day working for someone else, and an hour or two teaching my daughters. Ashleigh gets traditional school work from me, while Maddie now gets most of her schooling through VLACs and instead gets (what I hope are) deep conversations from me to help her learn to cope with life. Twice a week, I get to work out and practice karate. In between, I try to get little jobs done around the house and generally do everything else that normally needs to be done during a lifetime. Sometimes I combine these functions. When I hit the men's room, I'll pick up a book and read a chapter or two before I come out. Otherwise, I find I do not schedule enough time to read. RIght before bed, I will also pick up a book and read for a few pages. My bathroom book is different than my bedroom book, thus I can often read one to two books a week. Another way I combine activities is that when I come in from outside, I make sure to hit my punching bag a little bit. It is rare that I can schedule a full thirty minutes on the bag anymore. I am just too busy. Thus, by making sure to punch it or kick it a couple of times as I walk past, I am sure to get at least a little practice in each day. In the end, the one constant in my life is that I always try to make time for my daughters. Children are the most important things that anyone can do in their life in my opinion. Why have them if you won't schedule time to enjoy their company. The bar can wait. Your old friends can wait. Hell, the job can wait! Enjoy your children while you can! Because pretty soon, they will be enjoying their own children. (picture by Maddie) Earlier on today, I got into an interesting talk with a friend of mine about life. During this talk, he stated that he loved to prepare for things; to be prepared for life... and that it tended to cause him discomfort when he wasn't. I refuted his statement softly at the time; and told him to simply take life a day at a time and try not to let the bigger picture bother him... but I'd like to get a point across in this blog post.
You cannot prepare for life. You can try and try as hard as ever; but life will always find a way to completely screw you up. I know this firsthand. Now this isn't to say that you can't have goals, and make preparations to work towards those goals. Because that- that is possible. If you have a set goal, you can prepare for it. If you know something in advance, you can prepare for it. Life- all we know is that it is constant, and will continue to happen to us until we inevitably die. You can prepare for moments in life, but you can't prepare for life itself. I think that's all I'm really trying to say here- and I'm also trying to drill home my constant idea that worrying about the future will do nothing but cause you stress in the present and make life all that more uncomfortable for you. Take life as it comes to you; and set goals to work towards. That's the way to succeed. -- Maddie So many people walk about, living their lives for others. They care only what people think of them- how they are perceived by the public eye. Why is it so important? I've never quite understood. Looking at me, I suppose you could say I am the same. I follow trends, right? But then again, everything is a trend. Nothing is unique any more. No matter what you do, there will always be someone to copy you, or someone who has the same idea. It can be quite discouraging... thinking you lack individuality.
But you don't. You as a person are unique. You cannot be replicated, no one is exactly like you. And no matter how hard you may try, you can never be anyone else. You can try as you might to follow the crowd around you, but you can't escape yourself. You will always have your own mind, your own way of thinking that nothing can change. You will be yourself. So many people spend their lives trying to be what they aren't, only to realize on their deathbed that they wasted their time being miserable at the expense of others. I never want to be like that. I want to live my life how I wish to live it; and I want to be happy. I don't care how many people try to pin labels on me; or what stereotypes I get caught in. I am determined to be happy. I am determined to make my life's purpose happiness- both being happy; and making others happy. I CHOOSE happiness. I CHOOSE to be happy with who I am. I choose to follow the bits of the crowd that I like- because the bits compose me. I am unique. And I live to express. As long as I am happy... I really don't care what others think. Maddie It's a quote I'm sure so many people have heard throughout their life- and as you've probably heard it before, let me ask you: what do you automatically think of when you hear it? By that I mean, when you think of losing something, what do you think of?
If you're anything like me, you probably thought of losing something really good, something that made you feel really happy... even a person. When I first read it, honestly, my first thought was my mom and how I always took time with her for granted, thinking I had a lifetime to enjoy with her and never fully realizing the extent to which her illness affected her until it was much too late to do anything about. But that got me thinking- if everyone associates the quote with happiness... why can't it be associated with bad things, too? When I began applying the quote to negative instances in life, it actually hit me quite hard and made me step back and reflect. Sometimes, you don't know you're in pain, or depressed, or even in a really poor situation until you see how life can be without it. If you read this blog enough, you've probably read through some of my posts where I briefly discussed my depression and in one of them; I went as far as to say that I myself didn't realize how severe it was until I read back through one of my old blogs and read some of my poetry. It was only upon re-examining the past that I realized the extent to which it had gotten and how bad I had been compared to where I was at that point in time. Upon even CLOSER reflection; I can safely say that I am 1,000x happier today than I was even when I wrote the post about re-reading poetry. I guess the quote is right- sometimes, you really don't know what you have until it lessens or disappears all together. So many people live in pain for a good portion of their lives, not knowing a better life awaits if they ditch the burdens weighing them down... or even if they re-adjust how they're carrying said burden. Do not let your burden weigh you down into your grave. I've seen it happen before. -- Maddie "Alter your life by altering your thinking" This is a bastardized quote by William James. James was an early psychologist and a philosopher. Sounds like my kind of guy! He was one of the first teachers of psychology in the United States. He taught at Harvard from 1873 - 1907, but only part of those years were devoted to psychology. He was a strong proponent of functionalism in psychology and pragmatism in philosophy.
I like his quote because it is both simple and true. Before you can make any lasting changes in your life, you need to change your way of thinking. There are two ways that your thinking can change.
The first way I call the "Shit Happens" way of changing your life. These happen to all of us, whether we want them to or not. A good example of this type of change in thinking happens when you age. When you were younger, you may have liked to spend your day running. As you aged, you grew tired more easily and now you only run two times a week to stay in shape. Another example might be that when you were younger you really wanted to be an archaeologist. Yet your first job had nothing to do with archaeology and you just stayed within the industry you started in and are now stuck doing a job that, while you are good at it, bores the hell out of you! The second way of changing your life is more meaningful, in my opinion. This is when you consciously decide that something needs to change in your life and you actually take steps to change it. There are two important parts to this type of change. First, you need to actually think that a change is necessary, but more importantly, you need to act on those thoughts! Alter your thinking and you will alter your life! Te key is you really have to think differently though, starting with the thought that I must act on my thoughts for them to have any chance of changing my life. This is true for both the most minor changes as well as the monumental ones. Do you find yourself unhappy because your friends are? Every once in a while this is okay, since no one's life is always perfect, but if you find that certain friends are always bringing you down because they are never happy, then you need to consciously make an effort to avoid them for a while! Look, it can be hard enough to remain happy when it is just your own emotions assaulting you. If someone else is constantly whining and depressed, it can affect all of your relationships. In those cases, it is best to take a step back and allow that other person to be miserable on their own. Remember, misery loves company. Let them find someone else who is miserable to commiserate with. If you find yourself thinking that that person is impacting your mood, then you need to pair up that thought with an action! Talk to that person. Tell them that you would prefer they put away their troubles when they are around you and enjoy themselves. If you find they cannot do that, then it is up to you to take action and distance yourself from them for a little while. Your happiness might depend on it! I think action is the key missing ingredient in the quote above. You can alter your thinking about everything, and it won't make a difference unless you take the logical action to go along with your change in thinking. Change your thinking, change your actions, and then inevitably, it will change your life. Not all actions will lead to big changes, so make sure that you set your expectations accordingly. Giving up one slice of pizza when you normally eat ten, won't lead to you losing weight. Eating one slice instead of ten always... might. In other words, make sure to have your actions match your expectations ahead of time so that you don't end up disappointed with your results. "Better three hours too soon than a minute too late!" That's a quote by William Shakespeare. Just goes to show that sometimes being a good writer just comes down to saying something in such a way that everyone gets it.
Take the above quote, for instance. What do you think of when you read that sentence? I can almost guarantee that you don't think of the same thing that I do. In fact, you could read that line every day, and, depending on your mood, you may think of something different. If it's early in the morning, and you are in a light-hearted mood, you might think of your first cup of coffee. If you are stressed out, it might remind you of a looming deadline at work. For me, it always reminds me of the same damn thing. And for the rest of my life, I think it always will. You see, this isn't the first time I have read that quote. Indeed, I see it all the time. The words may change a little... or the picture it is attached to. It doesn't matter. No matter how it is presented, it makes me think of my wife, and the things left unsaid between us. My wife's death came as a shock to me. Not that I didn't know she was struggling with problems that could eventually lead to death... I knew that! But just the way it happened. We never think that today may be the last day we see someone. Or, in my case, the last day we can get to say something to them and have them understand. You see, I got to see my wife each day for two weeks while she lay in a coma. She had died three times already by then, but the doctors kept reviving her. To me, those two weeks don't count. For me, the last time I spoke to my wife was on the day before I left for New Jersey with the girls to go to a concert with Madison. This was about two days before Sharon was hospitalized. We had stopped by to say good bye, and we spoke to her for a few minutes. Sharon hadn't been feeling well for the past few weeks and she seemed down. I thought it was because we were going away for a few days. As we got up to leave, Sharon came up to me and gave me a long hug, and whispered I love you into my ear. We were divorced by this time and just giving each other little perfunctory kisses on the cheek when we either came or went... you know, kind of like you do to people who are in your family, but you don't speak to a lot. Thus I was surprised when she did that. I wasn't surprised that she still loved me. I loved her as well. But that she would give me the long hug and say that almost as if she expected never to see me again. I, of course, didn't understand. She was saying her last goodbye. I just didn't realize. Never understood that she was that close to dying. For me, there were so many things left unsaid. So many things that tear me up inside because I was never able to tell her. There is no physical pain that can be worse than knowing you have things that have been left unsaid. Nowadays, I make sure to say I love you to my daughters multiple times per day. I figure it is better to be a lifetime early than even a second too late. None of us really know when we are going to take our last breath. Any of us could die tomorrow. Thus it's better to make sure that you say those things you feel to the people around you. Express love to your loved ones. Friendship to your friends and appreciation for those who help to make your life a better place. You never know when there will be no tomorrow. I learned this lesson a little too late. Don't let it happen to you. They say the early bird gets the worm. To be honest, I think that bird gets peace of mind! "The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped. " This is a quote by Cesare Pavese. Cesare was an Italian poet who committed suicide at the ripe old age of 41.
Although I have seen in print that many people believe that Pavese was just trying to say that with age comes wisdom, I am not so certain that this is what he actually meant. Remember Pavese killed himself when he was 41, much too young for him to be quoting about the wisdom found with age. Instead, I think that Pavese wrote those words while he was severely depressed. Just prior to his death he had had an affair with U.S.-born actress Constance Dowling, who, in the end, rejected him. This added to his depression and just before he died he dedicated a poem to her. "Death Will Come And She'll Have Your Eyes". For me, the title of the poem alone is enough to link it with the quote above! Knowing that he committed suicide at such a young age, and that he was grieving over the loss of a woman, I believe that what he was trying to convey in the quote was that at some point, everyone reaches that point of clarity where they can see things for what they really are, and for him, I guess, he found that life just wasn't worth living any longer. How sad. I think each of us reach multiple points of clarity throughout our lives. These points of clarity usually only involve a single person or a group of people at each occurrence. Pavese's mistake, I believe, is that he painted everyone and everything with the same broad brush. This could have been caused by his depression. And after reaching a false conclusion, he decided life wasn't worth living. In contrast, I try to find many reasons to live each day. The smiles and hugs I receive from my daughters when they wake up each day is a huge reason for me. It doesn't stop there though, conversations with my Mom and sister, my first cup of coffee, the cool breeze when I open my door. Petting my dog and eating breakfast are all little points of pleasure for me each day. Although the masks of the people around me do not drop every day, most times when they do I am happy with what I see. Surround yourself with people that make you happy. By doing that, I find that most times when the masks come off, I am happy with what I see. On the flip side, limit your time with those people that make you unhappy. Life is too short to be unhappy. Talk through your differences. It is worth the effort! Finally, cut off ties with people who are untrustworthy. If you can't trust someone to do what's right towards you, then you have no reason to have that person in your life. Finally... and here's the hard part. Try to have the wisdom to know the difference! "If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self." This is a quote by Napoleon Hill. Hill was one of the first self-help gurus and the author of "Think & Grow Rich". I like the quote above because it is true.
One of our harshest critics is ourselves. There are so many reasons that people feel insecure. For some, it is their looks. For others, it may be their intelligence or how they think they are perceived. None of these things really matter though! What matters is what we think. If we think our looks are going to hold us back, then they will. We will make sure of it. If we think we are dumb, then inevitably we will do something to reinforce this feeling within ourselves. I believe, to be happy in life and be successful, no matter what your definition of success is, we need to first conquer our own self doubts. Self doubts can sabotage nearly anything that you want to do, even if the doubts you have are not directly tied to what it is you are trying to achieve! For example, let's say you want to start your own business. You may have a great idea for a business and all of the drive necessary to get it off the ground. Even so, you believe in your heart that people won't want to buy things from you because you are fat. Over time, you begin to focus so much about what people think about your weight, that you fail to focus on how to present your product. You begin to avoid instances where you need to be in front of a potential customer. Eventually, your business fails and you say to yourself, see I told you that you were too fat. Try to lose some weight first next time! So yes, the business failed. Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with you being overweight. Instead it had everything to do with how you acted because of your beliefs. The example I used above is a little far fetched. And yet, it isn't really. Now picture the above scenario and instead replace the "too fat to be successful" example with your own fear. How would your fear impact the result? I hate to speak to people because they will think I am stupid. I don't want to go out and ask people what they think unless my friends are with me because I am too shy. I don't want to help that customer with their problem because I may not be smart enough to give them what they need. As I said, replace the example with your own internal fear. What would happen? How would you react? Does your internal voice stop you from making rational decisions or from taking decisive actions? If so, then you need to conquer yourself first! Remember, that no one is perfect. Robin Williams, a comic that made thousands of people laugh and was well liked by millions, constantly fought depression. Many other Hollywood stars or rock musicians also battled depression. They could not see their own self worth, or what others valued in them. My wife had a similar problem. She constantly battled her inner demons. Because she set such a high standard on her looks, she battled two eating disorders. When they strains from the disorders got too great, she would drink to self medicate. The constant alcohol use took a toll on both her mind and her body. Three years ago, she drank herself to death. The best way to fight your inner demons is to recognize your inner fear, and then do what needs to be done anyway. If someone won't buy from me because they think I am fat, and yet they need the product I have anyway, then that is them not being rational, not me! If I say something, to help someone make a decision and they think I am weird, then so be it! None of those things are going to kill me! How I react to those things, may kill me though. Before you go to conquer the world, first be sure to conquer your own self doubts. It is likely the hardest battle that any of us will ever have to face alone. Earlier, I was on Tumblr scrolling about and I found a post I disagreed with- strongly. I won't insert it here, but in short, the post stated that as a species, we have failed. We're horrible for each other and the planet we inhabit, and we've destroyed our own natural selection because we keep the sick and demented alive and keep people who are disabled alive. I'm pretty sure that you know where I'm headed, but in case you don't... I wrote a rant in response. I didn't actually send it to the blog that posted the original rant; nor will I include that blog in this post. However, here is my own opinion.
As a species, we have come quite far. We’re one of many different mammals that share in the Earth- and of all of them, we’ve evolved to the point that we have science that allows us to take better care of ourselves, heal diseases, make progress towards a better and healthier world. Yet some of us are so ignorant as to say that we’ve taken away natural selection; taken away evolution through our own discoveries. Isn’t that what evolution is? Ways of moving forward, learning through each generation. I’ve got news for you- we’ve evolved a LOT, and as we have evolved, so has “natural selection”. You say we kill our planet with what we create and that we keep the ill and demented alive… But isn’t that natural selection in and of itself? These genetic diseases and flaws come about in every generation; changing every time…. and every time, we find new ways to handle them. I think that’s pretty amazing. There’s a reason why we’re at the top of the food chain; why we have no predators aside from natural disaster and ourselves. We, as a species, are innovative and determined. Determined to live… even if it means dying in the end. Life ends for all of us eventually, but what’s the sense in wasting it? Leave a legacy for those who come after you. Live your life so well that death will tremble to take you. If stereotypes, democracy, politics, religion, and everything else bother you, then ignore them. I know, it probably sounds impossible- but giving such an enormous shit about everyone else’s opinion and trying to class the entire race which you’re a part of as horrible for having a different life approach than you is a bit far-fetched. And it CERTAINLY takes more energy than just living your life happily and letting go of things that bother you. As for me? I live my life as happily as possible. I don’t let the bigger picture get into my head, and I find joy in the simplest things. I wrote this post to state my own opinion- take it or leave it. My time wasn’t wasted either way. -- maddie I may get around...I may laugh alot... Now you'd think that I'd be happy with the life I got Nobody knows...nobody sees Ain't nobody really knows the inner side o'me... I may seem secure...I could have it made... You might think you see a lucky man who made the grade Nobody knows what dreams I see Ain't nobody really sure just who they wanna be... Those are lyrics by Billy Squier. I used to listen to him a lot when I was in high school and college. I thought about that song for the first time in a long while last night. My daughter and I were coming back from the movies and we were chit-chatting about different things. Somehow, we got to a conversation where I brought up we all wear many masks... a bastardization of Shakespeare's "All the world's a stage" quote meshed with Andre Berthiaume's "We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin." quote. She mentioned to me that while it's true we all play many parts, she tries to keep on the same face and be the same throughout. Very admirable, but also nearly impossible to do (at least to me, anyway). I thought about my own life, and where I need to keep parts of me in check. Not in major ways mind you, but just in little ways where decorum calls for a different attitude. In church for instance, where I find it is better to sit quietly rather than kid around with my daughters and try to make them laugh... or at the dojo where I try to just focus on my workout. Those are just basic examples. There are others too. But our talk brought those lyrics to mind after so many years of not thinking of them. It was weird, because what we were talking about barely touched upon what I think about when I read those lyrics. For quite a while when I was younger, I felt misunderstood. Not so much about what I said, but about what I didn't say. Oftentimes, I would hide my true inner feelings away figuring people would just know from looking at me or the way I acted. And to some extent, that was true. Those who knew me really well, DID know somethings about me. But not all things. You see, we all do wear masks that we hide behind. Sometimes we don't even realize it. They have become so comfortable in some situations that we put them on without even realizing it. Our friends and lovers, those that know us best, have seen many of the masks... and they can still recognize us for who we are. They may even chuckle when we put on a mask we may not have worn in a while. But I doubt anyone knows all of our masks... including ourselves! Now don't get me wrong. I am not talking about something sinister here. And mask may be the wrong word for what I am talking about. I guess I am talking about a break in your usual behavior pattern, or facial expression, or way you say something. Verbal and nonverbal cues that you are putting on a facade. We all do it. Whether it is our biggest exaggerated smile for a baby, or the look of empathy that crosses your face when you hear a sad story about a person you really know nothing about. There is nothing wrong with these affectations, unless you let them fool you as well. And this, I think, is where we all fail. We become so used to wearing certain mantles, that we allow them to graft onto our skin, and make us into people who we are not. When your inner feelings differ from your outward persona on a regular basis, then this has happened to you. Don't let this happen to you. When your inner feeling match your outward persona, this is when you are one. It is alright to put on a mask on occasion... so that you don't scare the hell out of children, for instance. Or so that you can sit through the church service without disrupting the Mass. Just don't let any one mask become you. True living comes from a life without masks. Cheers to you Maddie, for inadvertently reminding me of that. (For the record. "Nobody Knows was a great song by Billy Squier. He dedicated it to the life of John Lennon. The last couple of verses of the song are below.) * Photo by Maddie by the way! "I see my future at the rainbow's end
Happy hours...timeless friends And if I ever chance to find my way Rest assured...I will stay... You may see your life as a compromise You may live to find the promise dancin' in your eyes Nobody knows...it's meant to be... Let the magic of the moment say it all to me." "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." That is a quote by Confucius. I think he was dead on with this quote. Life really can be simple, we just seem to complicate it all of the time.
Think about it. Life doesn't have to be stressful, yet we care so much about what other people think of us that we run around like chickens without heads to wear the right clothing or to have our hair cut in a particular way. It is almost as if we can't be happy unless others picture us as cool, or witty, tough or bold, or funny and popular. What does it really matter? Your friends will remain friends with you even if you aren't in the latest fashion. And it's likely that your family will never stop loving you. When I was younger, I wanted a big house and antiques. Now that I have that stuff, I could care less about it! No one I know cares that I have it either. For me, it was never about bragging about the stuff. It was more about just having cool things. I think the death of a loved one can really put things into perspective though. My Dad and wife both died within a year of each other. I helped to clean out my Dad's things, and I am still trying to get rid of Sharon's stuff. Neither of them brought any of their stuff with them! And most of it is meaningless to me. For my wife, closets full of clothes and shoes mainly went to the volunteer box... even though I tried really hard to sell the stuff. All of it went at a large discount to what she purchased it for. Believe it or not, I am also getting rid of some of my own things, because I too, have too much stuff. I love to read, and I have hundreds of books. Some I have read, while others I bought so that I could read them at my leisure. I have started to read through those books and give them away. I am almost compelled to do this too. There I go, taking something simple and pleasurable and putting deadlines to it! I do not want to have a lot of stuff when I die for my girls to have to get rid of. I also do not want to just throw them away since I really did want to read them. Thus, I read a little bit each day. I have read through twenty-two books over the past few weeks. I still have at least 100 to read. Keep it simple folks. God put us on earth to enjoy our lives. Don't make them any more stressful than they have to be. And remember, the only things that may go with you when you die is your memories. At least I hope they do! So leave the fancy clothes to others and instead build memories. It is simple really. The smile from your wife. The gigles from your daughters. These are what are important. Store them in your memories. And you will always be rich with your simple life. I read so many books. I read ''Yes, No, Little Hippo'', and "Arthur Accused" too. I have also read ''Christopher Robin Gives Pooh a party'', ''Hop on Pop'. "'Mousekin's Special Day',' and many others. I like to read books. I write book reports on the books I read also.
Ashleigh “Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” That's another quote by Rumi. Sorry, but every once in a while I find someone who has a bunch of thought provoking quotes, and instead of looking for someone new to quote. I'll just quote the same person a few times until everyone is sick of them (and me).
This man had a beautiful way of phrasing things.Above, he is telling us to live our own lives they way we want to live them. To live life exactly as someone else is a waste of time and energy (kung fu). Live your own life, and make your own decisions. While it is okay to imitate other's actions, and to take wise counsel, remember that the final decision in what you do is yours. It is your life to live and your story to tell. Make sure that you star in it. In the end, no one really cares if you do the same thing as someone else. They will remember you for what YOU do and for how YOU do it. Since that is the case, you means well live your life your own way. That is what Rumi's quote says to me. Live life to its fullest. And live a life worthy enough for people to remember you by! Today I went to the hospital for my annual check up. I have grown over the past year. I am now forty eight inches tall. Dr. De Vera told me to eat a healthy diet of vegetables, fruit, and meat. She also told me to drink my milk and lots, and lots of water. She was very happy with my progress, and I am not due for any shots until I turn eleven!
Ashleigh Today, I saw dandelions. There are two types. The first have yellow flowers and are very pretty. The second type has white hairy seeds that I like to blow off the stem. When they fly away, it looks like parachutes!
Ashleigh Today I'm going to talk about food. My favorite Food is cheese, and pasta. I eat apples every Day. I also like chicken pot pie. I like a lot of different foods. I particularly like pizza!
Ashleigh Today I am writing about rainy days. When there are puddles outside, I put on my rain coat and my rain boots. Rainy days are grey, but sometimes the sun tries to peek out. I have a cool, clear umbrella that has a cat on it. It has pink polka dots on it. It keeps me dry. Rain drops falling on it can be seen on the umbrella.
Ashleigh |
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